Lightning Rod Gets The Zot

The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

[Lrod]

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

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[Monkey Face]

One large chocolate-raspberry cocoa coming up! It’s really good on frosty mornings!

[Tax-chick]

Good morning! I’m making all the Offspring put their clean clothes away. I did seven loads of wash yesterday; the last one went in the dryer just before midnight!

[Monkey Face]

Washing clothes this morning entered my mind yesterday afternoon, but when I woke up this morning, the thought was completely gone. Of course, I would have had to leave the house to do the job, and that was just not an option.

It was difficult to get up, but I knew there was no way I was going to go back to sleep. Maybe tomorrow. ;o]

[Monkey Face]

P.S: Sharron Angle is at 49% and Harry Reid is at 43%

It’s gonna be tight, but I think it might work.

[Tax-chick]

Go Sharron! Down with Whorehouse Harry!

[Monkey Face]

My sediments exactly!!

[Tax-chick]

Sediments is what Harry Reid should be when this is over.

[sionnsar]

True.

[Tax-chick]

I need to find something decent to wear to Mass. I suppose Frank can go in his pajamas, but my sweatpants and Confederate Artillery t-shirt won’t cut it!

How are things in the Northwest today?

[Monkey Face]

As me dear sainted mother would say, “He’ll look like something the cat drug in and couldn’t eat.”

Yah. Like that.

[mad_as_he$$]

Ah blog pimping. Go away Noob.

[Tax-chick]

That’s quite an image, considering some of the things I’ve seen our cats eat!

[Tax-chick]

The O.P. has been gone for quite a while, but you’re welcome to hang around with the Undead for some early gloating, if you don’t have election work to do.

[Monkey Face]

My mother was hilariously unaware of how funny she really was. I may have to compile a list of some of her witty sayings.

[Hoosier Catholic Momma]

LOL!

I put in a pink slip for Blanche Lincoln last week. Her campaign signs around town say ‘One Tough Lady.’ Mmmmkay? Yeah, that will win it for you, Blanche.

I had a rough weekend. Had to have our oldest four-legged kid to sleep on Saturday. Patches was a 15 year old Siamese/Calico mix who had been declining since the late summer. She was in kidney failure and was pretty much not eating or really able to walk without falling by the weekend. Mommy and Daddy took her to the vet and she went peacefully in my lap with her dad rubbing her little head. That leaves us with one more feline and two labs. The kids want to know when we can get another cat...

Yesterday dh left for Ohio (he took Patches to be buried in a sunny spot on my in-laws’ 14+ acres in southeast Indiana). He starts his new manufacturing engineering job in a little town called Gallipolis today. So I’m left to the mercy of the kids until Daddy and Mammaw and Pappaw come at Thanksgiving, then again until Christmas, when we pack up and leave Arkansas.

[Monkey Face]

We, of the Undead Thread, have already given the troll a good send off. All we need to do now is see that he is suitably paved.
As Tax-Chick said: You’re welcome to join us!

[Tax-chick]

The most interesting election in my district is County Commissioners, which they’re all crooks, no matter whom you elect.

I’m very sorry about your pet. You might want to put off getting another until after you move. I hope the new job goes well ... but Ohio in winter, brrrr!

[mad_as_he$$]

I like to piss on the graves of blog pimpers. I was gone some and missed the original so I am catching up on Monday!!! As far as elections, not much to do today. Tomorrow is going to be a long day driving etc....

[Tax-chick]

Well, have a Guinness and make yourself at home. I have to organize my family to go to church - out the door in 17 minutes ...

[mad_as_he$$]

Church? Monday? or did I sleep all week?