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Lightning Rod Gets The Zot
The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

Posted on 10/23/2010 5:17:52 PM PDT by Lrod

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

Visit The Poet's Eye


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: bozot; christineodonnell; clownzot; hater; humor; kittychow; molassesmiasma; odonnell; ozone; penguinhumor; satire; sionnsar; thepoetseye; troll; vikingkitties; vikingkitty; zot
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To: ThomasThomas

Make that “not” mine.


1,541 posted on 11/21/2010 9:02:32 PM PST by ThomasThomas (If bacon grew on trees I would be a vegetarian.)
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To: ThomasThomas; Monkey Face; ColdOne; Anoreth

1,542 posted on 11/22/2010 5:03:30 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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To: Tax-chick

More snow coming. Also 50mph wind again.


1,543 posted on 11/22/2010 5:30:50 AM PST by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: Tax-chick

Ohyah. That goes good with coffee...


1,544 posted on 11/22/2010 6:07:00 AM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Anoreth; Darksheare

According to the weather RADAR here, you’re about to be dumped on. I’ll send you some hot, rum-laced cocoa by DARKSFAX, if you wish. Of course, I can’t guarantee what it will be when it gets to you...

;o]


1,545 posted on 11/22/2010 6:08:55 AM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Anoreth

Ugh. 50 here; we might get rain. Juan Aguilar will be here in a minute to look at the light fixture on the stairs. Ash *loves* him!


1,546 posted on 11/22/2010 6:13:15 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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To: Monkey Face; Anoreth

Juan and Bill are going to Lowe’s to look for a replacement fixture. Anything they agree on has to be better than what we have!


1,547 posted on 11/22/2010 6:19:41 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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To: Tax-chick

It’s 41, here, with a high forecast of 52. Tom asked in his note how cold it got here. Tell him it’s not uncommon to be in the 20’s in the winter, with wind straight out of the north for a nasty wind chill.

The Village of Mt. Charleston is 14 this morning.


1,548 posted on 11/22/2010 6:21:22 AM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Tax-chick

I don’t recall the light fixture, but I’m sure it could be improved.

About a year ago, I got a coffee grinder on freecycle, and some beans from Trader Joe’s, and decided to make coffee this morning. I don’t do it every day, but today just seems like the day. Right now, I’m waiting for the sun to come up.

Good combination, that.


1,549 posted on 11/22/2010 6:24:22 AM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Monkey Face

It’s kind of a candle-sconce thing, with a glass shade, and it sticks out into the stairwell. It’s also eye-level with the ledge upstairs, so it gets clobbered by the athletic festivities in the upstairs hall.


1,550 posted on 11/22/2010 6:27:02 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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To: Tax-chick

One that doesn’t tempt anyone to throw cars into it.


1,551 posted on 11/22/2010 6:28:04 AM PST by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: Tax-chick

Ah. OK. I dimly recall it, now. The architect must have been a bachelor.


1,552 posted on 11/22/2010 6:29:44 AM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Anoreth

Oh, I thought that was an accident.


1,553 posted on 11/22/2010 6:31:06 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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To: Tax-chick

....nope.
Everyone is freaking out over the snow. Boring.


1,554 posted on 11/22/2010 6:33:13 AM PST by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: Anoreth; Monkey Face

Heh, you should have seen San Antonio when it snowed.

The new light fixture is in. I like it much better. Right against the wall, the bulb is covered, aluminum finish.

Ash was sad that Juan couldn’t spend the day with her.


1,555 posted on 11/22/2010 7:42:02 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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To: Tax-chick

I’ve seen snow in places I didn’t think even got cold! Somehow, it always confuses the locals.

I’m glad the fixture is in and that it isn’t tempting for future basketball players.

Poor Ash.


1,556 posted on 11/22/2010 7:46:46 AM PST by Monkey Face (This statement is false.)
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To: Tax-chick

23 degrees. With wind chill it’s 15. I don’t want to go outside..


1,557 posted on 11/22/2010 7:49:30 AM PST by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: NicknamedBob

Who knows what evils lurk in the heartt of that tree ripening pod.
For all we know it may want to be eaten as part of some nefarious plan, for purposes unknown.


1,558 posted on 11/22/2010 8:02:13 AM PST by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: Tax-chick; Anoreth

Those cars weren’t thrown, they spontaneously appeared there accidentally on purpose.


1,559 posted on 11/22/2010 8:05:07 AM PST by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: Darksheare; Anoreth; Monkey Face

Many strange things occur in this house without the conscious volition of any of the residents. Except maybe the catz ...

Plugging along on the cleaning. If you don’t have everything dusted, including the ceiling fan blades, the Advent Kitteh won’t bring you wine and pretzels.


1,560 posted on 11/22/2010 8:07:01 AM PST by Tax-chick (Global Warming: the first faith preached exclusively by hypocrites.)
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