Posted on 02/23/2010 7:10:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix
I was reading dating advice for women from men at Cosmo and came across a rather amusing letter to "the guy guru who answers your most pressing sex and love questions." The letter is from a woman who is upset that a guy used a coupon to buy her dinner:
I went out for dinner with this guy, and it was great — we got along well, and there was a definite spark. But when it came time to pay, he pulled out a coupon. I'm hardly a princess, but that totally killed it for me. Am I being too hard on him?
It was unquestionably a boneheaded maneuver on his part, but yes, cutting him loose on that one faux pas sounds extreme. There are factors to weigh. For one, how old is the dude? If he's still in school or graduated recently, it could just be that he hasn't dated a lot and was short on funds — the economy isn't exactly booming right now. And to be fair, he didn't ask you to go dutch, so he did still take you out to dinner.
If he's older and financially stable, then you have more reason to be turned off. Any guy with a little experience should know that you don't flash coupons on a first date — you bide your time till the chick is in the bathroom, then feverishly shove it into the waiter's hand! In all seriousness, it could be a sign that he'd turn out to be a cheapskate.
>it might be something appearance oriented
Such as, “would you dump a girl who had fake boobs?”
Ah, but would she have been mad to know you cleaned it yourself instead of paying a detailing shop to?
My dad knew a guy in the AF who did just that. He wanted to serve his country, so he signed up for a 4 yr rotation. Didn't tell very many that he was a trust fund baby. My dad was one of just a couple that knew. Lived on his military pay, drove an old beater. Met a young lady, started dating. She married him, right before he was scheduled to get out of the AF. She thought they were going to have to start their lives with nothing. They loaded up their belongings in the beater and off they went. He stops the car in front of this huge house and gets out. She thought he'd gotten a job as a gardener or something, working for the people who lived in the house. It took him a while to convince her that it was his parents' house and for reality to sink in.
What’s the priority here, the person you’re dating or his pocketbook?
KFC? There wouldn't be a 2nd date! LOL!
Ask me out for couple of slices of Pizza and a movie we'd both like to see and talk about afterward over desert or coffee? Now we're talking.
I'm only saying use the coupons to maximize the experience from the beginning ("would you like to go to the best Thai place in Atlanta?" and not initiate apologetics about how it's paid for). I'll stick to my opinion on this, tacky for her to demean his best efforts just because a coupon was included with the cash.
To each their own. I'll recommend my son be sure to use a coupon (not flagrantly, but not concealed either, just presented with the payment which should be discrete anyway) to weed out those who prefer wasting money over quality. You go ahead and tell a guy he's a jerk for facilitating a good time, centered on you, with the addition of free money.
Well they did it in reverse with "Joe Millionaire."
Reading “Cosmo” was the first mistake.
She now knows that I keep it clean and that it wasn’t that way just for our date. Which made an even better impression.
You are a hero to waiters/waitesses everywhere.
There’s another tale of a billionaire who (like a surprising number of the super-rich) liked driving his ancient rusting truck and wearing flannel shirts. When he dropped into the town’s upscale car dealer to get a nice BMW or some such for his college-bound daughter, the staff ignored him. When he approached and asked for service, they told him “if you’re driving that old POS truck, you can’t afford our cars - beat it old man.” He left, had a cup of coffee at the diner across the street, and made two phone calls. Minutes later, the sales manager then went to the staff and told them “ya know that old guy you just kicked out? he just bought the dealership and fired you all.”
Don’t knock a guy for paying for a first date using a coupon.
Rich people don’t pay full price - that’s how they got rich.
If "spending money" is your major measure of a man, I pity the man measured.
Don't know why you'd say that. Just don't want it to smell of fast food and have to wait for him to move his junk out of the passenger seat to get in. Clean on the outside get extra points for nice manners.
That he actually planned the time together to be a bit special is thoughtful and makes a nice impression. (First date or after 20 years of marriage!) You don't need a lot of money for that, maybe just a little more creativity.
It's not the money spent or saved. It's the whole package. Wow, all this discussion from a "buy one entree at full price get half off the cheaper one" coupon on a first date!
But you’d have a problem with him scaling the date up to a fancy bistro (still with movie & coffee after) - and not paying any more to do so?
That’s fair enough. Its just that the point we’re all making is that by using the coupon, he may well be trying to extend his finances for the date beyond what he otherwise could. It shouldn’t necessarily be taken as a slight.
Now if he drives up for the date in a $100,000 car and then tries to drop a coupon to pay a $50-$75 bill at the restaurant, yes, he’s a cheap jerk.
Depends on the store policy. If they want to be competitive, they won't have such a restriction.
You're the one who expressed outrage because he didn't spend hard-earned cash instead of saving it via coupon.
Maybe you need to review what you posted that spawned this sub-thread. You know, the post dissing the guy for using a "buy one entree at full price get half off the cheaper one" coupon on a first date. (Actually, if you closely followed some of the other subthreads, you'd realize maybe I was referring to the "$25 for $2" deals.)
REALLY? I did not know that. Hmmmm.... Gotta put Ruth's Chris on my restaurant list. Okay, medium rare for me and overdone for my wife. Yeah, that's the way she likes her steaks. Overdone with the flavor cooked out of it.
It took a while but I finally found it. Sales tax in Kansas is on gross sales which means I pay the tax on my grocery bill, then coupons are subtracted. Should have known!
In 1957 when I took the Corvette to Santa Barbara to run the SCCA race the car owner gave me a $1,000 bill for expenses.
We ate and drank at top restaurants and did it for free because none of them could cash the bill.
Incidentally it was that weekend that I met my wife.
How do you think he paid for the car?
Somewhere I’ve got a picture I took of a Lotus (serious $$$) at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell.
If I knew & did back then what I know now - coupons included - I’d be independently wealthy at 40.
Good policy in CT. In Florida we pay the sales tax on the retail cost before coupon deduction. For example, Albertsons often has a one dollar sale on Marcal TP and paper towels. I then use my $1.00 off Marcal coupons to buy about 40 at the time. My cost comes to 6 cents each or about $2.40 for all of them. Still not a bad deal for paper products that will last me a couple of months.
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