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Would you dump a woman for using a coupon?
Dr. Helen ^ | February 22, 2010 | Helen Smith

Posted on 02/23/2010 7:10:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix

I was reading dating advice for women from men at Cosmo and came across a rather amusing letter to "the guy guru who answers your most pressing sex and love questions." The letter is from a woman who is upset that a guy used a coupon to buy her dinner:

I went out for dinner with this guy, and it was great — we got along well, and there was a definite spark. But when it came time to pay, he pulled out a coupon. I'm hardly a princess, but that totally killed it for me. Am I being too hard on him?


The guy guru gives okay advice back, not great, but not bad:

It was unquestionably a boneheaded maneuver on his part, but yes, cutting him loose on that one faux pas sounds extreme. There are factors to weigh. For one, how old is the dude? If he's still in school or graduated recently, it could just be that he hasn't dated a lot and was short on funds — the economy isn't exactly booming right now. And to be fair, he didn't ask you to go dutch, so he did still take you out to dinner.

If he's older and financially stable, then you have more reason to be turned off. Any guy with a little experience should know that you don't flash coupons on a first date — you bide your time till the chick is in the bathroom, then feverishly shove it into the waiter's hand! In all seriousness, it could be a sign that he'd turn out to be a cheapskate.


Well, I thought it was nice that the guy bought her dinner. I would think a coupon was a little quirky and endearing, but that's me. If it was reversed and a woman pulled out a coupon to pay on a first date, would you dump her or just be glad she paid?

On the other hand, the equivalent for women might be something different than paying for a meal with a coupon--it might be something appearance oriented or behavioral that a guy would find just as questionable. What would that be?


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: coupons
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To: PJ-Comix

>it might be something appearance oriented

Such as, “would you dump a girl who had fake boobs?”


121 posted on 02/23/2010 9:09:28 AM PST by krb (Obama is a miserable failure.)
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To: rightly_dividing

Ah, but would she have been mad to know you cleaned it yourself instead of paying a detailing shop to?


122 posted on 02/23/2010 9:11:08 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: PittsburghAfterDark
- If I were in a position to do so it would be interesting to see what would happen in your date’s eyes if you actually had a 3,000 sq ft home and a Mercedes but showed up with a 10 year old Honda and took her back to a one bedroom apartment for drinks. That would be an interesting reality show to me.

My dad knew a guy in the AF who did just that. He wanted to serve his country, so he signed up for a 4 yr rotation. Didn't tell very many that he was a trust fund baby. My dad was one of just a couple that knew. Lived on his military pay, drove an old beater. Met a young lady, started dating. She married him, right before he was scheduled to get out of the AF. She thought they were going to have to start their lives with nothing. They loaded up their belongings in the beater and off they went. He stops the car in front of this huge house and gets out. She thought he'd gotten a job as a gardener or something, working for the people who lived in the house. It took him a while to convince her that it was his parents' house and for reality to sink in.

123 posted on 02/23/2010 9:14:12 AM PST by Hoffer Rand (There ARE two Americas: "God's children" and the tax payers)
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To: VOR78
Not everyone is made out of money. Would you rather that he take you to a fairly nice restaurant and use a coupon that cuts a $60 bill to $30, or would you rather he just spend $30 straight up by taking you to KFC?

What’s the priority here, the person you’re dating or his pocketbook?

KFC? There wouldn't be a 2nd date! LOL!

Ask me out for couple of slices of Pizza and a movie we'd both like to see and talk about afterward over desert or coffee? Now we're talking.

124 posted on 02/23/2010 9:17:52 AM PST by YankeeGirl
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To: YankeeGirl
I’m only saying save the coupons for later or make it part of the experience from the beginning (”Would you like to try this place with me? I got some coupons, heard the food was good and thought it might be fun to try.....”) I’ll stick to my opinion on this, tacky for a first date, the way it was presented.

I'm only saying use the coupons to maximize the experience from the beginning ("would you like to go to the best Thai place in Atlanta?" and not initiate apologetics about how it's paid for). I'll stick to my opinion on this, tacky for her to demean his best efforts just because a coupon was included with the cash.

To each their own. I'll recommend my son be sure to use a coupon (not flagrantly, but not concealed either, just presented with the payment which should be discrete anyway) to weed out those who prefer wasting money over quality. You go ahead and tell a guy he's a jerk for facilitating a good time, centered on you, with the addition of free money.

125 posted on 02/23/2010 9:21:41 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: PittsburghAfterDark
- If I were in a position to do so it would be interesting to see what would happen in your date’s eyes if you actually had a 3,000 sq ft home and a Mercedes but showed up with a 10 year old Honda and took her back to a one bedroom apartment for drinks. That would be an interesting reality show to me.

Well they did it in reverse with "Joe Millionaire."

126 posted on 02/23/2010 9:23:35 AM PST by dfwgator
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To: PJ-Comix

Reading “Cosmo” was the first mistake.


127 posted on 02/23/2010 9:24:53 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: ctdonath2

She now knows that I keep it clean and that it wasn’t that way just for our date. Which made an even better impression.


128 posted on 02/23/2010 9:24:58 AM PST by rightly_dividing
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To: PJ-Comix
Total cost to me: $0.00 and I was still able to tip the waiter $15.

You are a hero to waiters/waitesses everywhere.

129 posted on 02/23/2010 9:28:18 AM PST by xone
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To: Hoffer Rand

There’s another tale of a billionaire who (like a surprising number of the super-rich) liked driving his ancient rusting truck and wearing flannel shirts. When he dropped into the town’s upscale car dealer to get a nice BMW or some such for his college-bound daughter, the staff ignored him. When he approached and asked for service, they told him “if you’re driving that old POS truck, you can’t afford our cars - beat it old man.” He left, had a cup of coffee at the diner across the street, and made two phone calls. Minutes later, the sales manager then went to the staff and told them “ya know that old guy you just kicked out? he just bought the dealership and fired you all.”

Don’t knock a guy for paying for a first date using a coupon.
Rich people don’t pay full price - that’s how they got rich.


130 posted on 02/23/2010 9:29:19 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: ctdonath2
Better analogy: you'd think the same if he hadn't had the inside of the car steam-cleaned by a premium detailing shop - even though he achieved the same results cheaper by doing it himself.

If "spending money" is your major measure of a man, I pity the man measured.

Don't know why you'd say that. Just don't want it to smell of fast food and have to wait for him to move his junk out of the passenger seat to get in. Clean on the outside get extra points for nice manners.

That he actually planned the time together to be a bit special is thoughtful and makes a nice impression. (First date or after 20 years of marriage!) You don't need a lot of money for that, maybe just a little more creativity.

It's not the money spent or saved. It's the whole package. Wow, all this discussion from a "buy one entree at full price get half off the cheaper one" coupon on a first date!

131 posted on 02/23/2010 9:32:02 AM PST by YankeeGirl
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To: YankeeGirl

But you’d have a problem with him scaling the date up to a fancy bistro (still with movie & coffee after) - and not paying any more to do so?


132 posted on 02/23/2010 9:32:48 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: YankeeGirl

That’s fair enough. Its just that the point we’re all making is that by using the coupon, he may well be trying to extend his finances for the date beyond what he otherwise could. It shouldn’t necessarily be taken as a slight.

Now if he drives up for the date in a $100,000 car and then tries to drop a coupon to pay a $50-$75 bill at the restaurant, yes, he’s a cheap jerk.


133 posted on 02/23/2010 9:33:29 AM PST by VOR78
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To: Revolting cat!
I hear these stories all the time, but I've never figured out how it's done, even when the stores have Double Your Coupon days. I've long managed to get my shaving equipment for free with the money back newspaper coupons, but otherwise it's always one coupon per purchase of each product, isn't it?

Depends on the store policy. If they want to be competitive, they won't have such a restriction.

134 posted on 02/23/2010 9:36:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: YankeeGirl
Don't know why you'd say that.

You're the one who expressed outrage because he didn't spend hard-earned cash instead of saving it via coupon.

Maybe you need to review what you posted that spawned this sub-thread. You know, the post dissing the guy for using a "buy one entree at full price get half off the cheaper one" coupon on a first date. (Actually, if you closely followed some of the other subthreads, you'd realize maybe I was referring to the "$25 for $2" deals.)

135 posted on 02/23/2010 9:38:04 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: Ratman83
Ruth’s Chris Staekhouse, very nice and expensive has coupons.

REALLY? I did not know that. Hmmmm.... Gotta put Ruth's Chris on my restaurant list. Okay, medium rare for me and overdone for my wife. Yeah, that's the way she likes her steaks. Overdone with the flavor cooked out of it.

136 posted on 02/23/2010 9:38:32 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: Wolverine

It took a while but I finally found it. Sales tax in Kansas is on gross sales which means I pay the tax on my grocery bill, then coupons are subtracted. Should have known!


137 posted on 02/23/2010 9:38:34 AM PST by Sunshine Sister
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To: PJ-Comix
I did better than that!

In 1957 when I took the Corvette to Santa Barbara to run the SCCA race the car owner gave me a $1,000 bill for expenses.

We ate and drank at top restaurants and did it for free because none of them could cash the bill.

Incidentally it was that weekend that I met my wife.

138 posted on 02/23/2010 9:40:02 AM PST by dalereed
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To: VOR78

How do you think he paid for the car?

Somewhere I’ve got a picture I took of a Lotus (serious $$$) at the drive-thru window at Taco Bell.

If I knew & did back then what I know now - coupons included - I’d be independently wealthy at 40.


139 posted on 02/23/2010 9:40:56 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: Wolverine

Good policy in CT. In Florida we pay the sales tax on the retail cost before coupon deduction. For example, Albertsons often has a one dollar sale on Marcal TP and paper towels. I then use my $1.00 off Marcal coupons to buy about 40 at the time. My cost comes to 6 cents each or about $2.40 for all of them. Still not a bad deal for paper products that will last me a couple of months.


140 posted on 02/23/2010 9:43:15 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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