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DUmmie FUnnies 01-02-09 ("How do you feel about maintaining a friendship with a Republican?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 2, 2009 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 01/02/2009 7:17:14 AM PST by Charles Henrickson

I'm an easy-going guy. I can be friends with most anyone. Like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like. Well, I guess that's true, since I have never actually MET Bill Maher, Michael Moore, or Keith Olbermann--and even with Olbermann, if we can stick to baseball, maybe we could talk.

But the feeling is not necessarily mutual with the DUmmies. Many of them simply HATE OUR GUTS! Witness this THREAD: "How do you feel about maintaining a friendship with a Republican?" DUmmies, don't hate me because I'm a Rethuglican! C'mon, sing with me: "Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends. . .?" So let's all hold hands and FEEL THE LOVE, in Kumbaya Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who would be happy to hoist a few pints with the Pittster at Bukowski's (as long as he doesn't talk my ear off), is in the [brackets]:

How do you feel about maintaining a friendship with a Republican?

[That's "ReTHUGlican," mister! Say, are you some kind of LOUSY FREEPER TROLL??]

A Republican in another city contacted me after the election, said he'd voted for Obama, and wanted to renew the friendship. . . . But sorry to say, the vote seemed to be based more on "inspiration" than on values. . . .

["Inspiration" is not good enough! This piece of human debris is not WORTHY of your friendship! Stay true to your values!]

I don't judge my friends on party affiliation.

[WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? . . . (BTW, to be fair, there were a number of DUmmies on this thread who likewise said they don't let politics get in the way of friendships. But their posts are not as FUnnie!)]

I don't care.... as long as her implants stay in place.

[Bosom buddies forever.]

Hell yeah! Dude, wait'll you see my bewbies. . . .

[No thanks, ben.]

Avoid 100%. They are not deserving of the air they breath.

[Feel the love.]

I do not forget the horsesh*t I heard come out of people's mouths, or who they were.

[A donkey never forgets.]

All those Jesus-freeks can kiss my @ss. . . .

[Calm down, ben.]

As long as they're housebroken and behave themselves. . . .

[Call the Repug Whisperer.]

I refused to see my bil last summer. . . . We avoided him and the sil.

[bil? sil? Nil!]

But the sil voted for Obama (praise goddess).

[Thrill!]

I can bash him over the head if he starts anything. . . .

[Kill bil.]

I would say give them a chance. . . .

[Give piece of sh*t a chance.]

We have to be careful about becoming them. . . .

[THEM!]

Let them come to you with questions and then educate them slowly. . . .

[Don't use big words.]

"Conservatives" are unfortunately Born that way.. it isn't a Choice, they lack 'Fluidity' in their thinking because of Organic physical deficiencies in essential cognitive structures of the brain.

[We're CUCKOO IN THE NOGGIN!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

they need to be put in walled Reservations and prevented from breeding. . . .

[Spay or neuter your Repugs.]

we are all Doomed if they are left to continue to F*CK everything up. . . .

[DOOMED, I tell you!!]

liberals were 4.9 times as likely as conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts. . . .

["Should I call Domino's or Pizza Hut tonight? Domino's or Pizza Hut? But then there's Papa John's! Oh, I just can't CHOOSE!"]

I cut loose my last Republicker friend right after Katrina.

[Gone with the wind!]

I've told them all to go f*ck them selves.

[I thought we don't WANT them to breed!]

I tend to keep friends in "boxes". . . .

[Is that you again, ben?]

Half the world I don't want to associate with.

[The other half doesn't want to associate with YOU.]

They are people who believe in and support f*cked up shit and vote for f*cked up people who f*ck up everybody's life.

[I find this post somewhat ironic. Maybe it's just me, but I do.]

people who think poor black people caused the housing bubble, that Saddam was a threat to the USA, that the war in Iraq was justified, that Ray Nagin is to blame for Katrina, that pharmacists shouldn't have to fill prescriptions for contraceptives, that the free market solves all problems, that global warming is a liberal hoax, that single payer healthcare is socialism and anything that might be considered socialist is inherently evil or inferior.

[Let's take those point by point: It was Barney Frank and Chris Dodd; Saddam was a threat, even the Clinton admin thought so; hideable, movable sarin gas and al-Qaeda in Iraq; it was Krazy Karl's Weather Machine; abortifacients are not "contraceptives"; socialism creates even more problems; check the temperatures this winter; look how well government-run healthcare is working in Britain and Canada; and yes, socialism is inherently evil and inferior.]

people who are racist . . .

[Like Jeremiah Wright.]

I'm maintaining a happy marriage with a Republican, so nothing is impossible.

[Ol' Serpenthead checks in.]

I told her there are plenty of "pro-life" Democrats out there. . . .

[In Congress? They must caucus in a phone booth. And there are no phone booths anymore, either.]

Who isn't pro life?

[Most Democrats.]

Democrats aren't pro abortion, they are pro choice. Who can't understand that?

[The babies who are killed?]

I am probably more lefty than 95% of the population. . . .

[You're being modest. Try 99%.]

Maybe the Obama years will bring some healing.

[He IS a Lightworker, you know.]

i married a republican

[Sounds like the sequel to "I Married an Axe Murderer."]

I had a Republican friend... He has since turned into a Democrat.

[It's kind of like a sex change.]

I think of them as traitors, having been responsible for contributing, however minutely, by their votes, to the massive decline of the US in most almost all respects. No prison is bad enough for the outgoing administration heavies. There MUST be trials!

[DEATH to the Bush voters!]

Until they get the help they need and convert to liberalism, I have no use for them.

[But this is National Take a Rethuglican to Lunch Week!]

she had reservations that Obama is too liberal. Obama is NOT liberal enough for me. . . .

[KARL MARX would not be liberal enough for you!]

hey when its your own mom you have to talk to her. . . .

[Especially when you want her to answer the door when the pizza delivery guy comes!]

What I've found is that most Republicans are like us in many respects. . . .

[Except for the Wiccan, lesbian, purple-hair part.]

Now I live in Nebraska. . . . These f*ckers are nuts. I can't go to the gym because they have FOX tv. on and even though I try not to look up at the screen it makes me sick! I've seen bumper stickers that say "Still voting Democrat, you're stuck on stupid". I wanted to ram the f*cking car!

[OK, now WHO'S nuts??]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; ironic; pathetic
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To: VeniVidiVici

Let me help you: THEY ARE STUPID!


41 posted on 01/02/2009 8:52:04 AM PST by pepperdog (The world has gone crazy.)
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To: mikrofon; PJ-Comix; Roscoe Karns

Li'l Beaver sez: "C'mon, Maryscott! Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends. . . ?"

42 posted on 01/02/2009 8:58:43 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Hug a DUmmie today!)
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To: doug from upland
Ah, yes. The great defenders of the First Amendment would be the ones to lock us up.

Obviously you don't understand the real meaning of the amendment. Like most people who aren't familiar with the latest and most accurate methods of interpreting the Constitution you probably think it was meant to protect verbalized thoughts and printed political opinion, which is understandable since you might be led to believe that by the literal words. But you must keep in mind that the authors were a well meaning but semi-literate, poorly educated, motley gang of backwoods hicks who were barely conversant in the King's English of that era, and were of course unable to clearly express their ideas in written words and phrases that ordinary American citizens would recognize today.

However, thankfully the SCOTUS has exhaustively researched the intent of the authors and has determined that what they actually intended to protect is the unalienable right of young ladies to dance naked on stage, publishers to market hard core porn, and Hollywood to film couples fornicating. Contrary to what your post sarcasticly implies, I'm sure that DUmmies everywhere wholeheartedly believe in and support the 1st Amendment now that it's real intent has been clarified by the court.

43 posted on 01/02/2009 9:18:32 AM PST by epow
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To: GQuagmire; Charles Henrickson

Check fire, seems okay.


44 posted on 01/02/2009 9:21:33 AM PST by Old Sarge (For the first time in my life, I am ashamed to be an American)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Some of this sounds SO MUCH like the way my brother, sister in law and niece think and talk. And they don’t comprehend what they’re saying. It goes over their own heads.

How can people stay THAT angry for so long? They’re poisoning their bodies with anger and their faces are rarely relaxed and always look angry at the world.

Sad. And they have no humor or a very weak humor, usually just nasty comments about Republicans in general and Pres. Bush in particular.


45 posted on 01/02/2009 9:23:35 AM PST by HighlyOpinionated (Cultural conditions, not gun laws, are the most important factors in a nation's crime rate.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends. . .?"

< petpeeve> Whoever wrote that song should be shot for rhyming "C.I.A." with "Maf-I-A". < /petpeeve>

46 posted on 01/02/2009 9:30:50 AM PST by Slings and Arrows ("Every few generations the really, really bad ideas come back around for another go."--Howard Tayler)
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To: epow

You make a compelling case. :)


47 posted on 01/02/2009 9:47:49 AM PST by doug from upland (8 million views of .HILLARY! UNCENSORED - put some ice on it, witch)
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Comment #48 Removed by Moderator

To: epow

Bttt! touche ^5


49 posted on 01/02/2009 10:39:48 AM PST by DirtyHarryY2K
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To: Charles Henrickson
A Republican in another city contacted me after the election, said he'd voted for Obama, and wanted to renew the friendship.

I notice that this DUmmy doesn't say whether or not he/she continues an amicable relationship with the person who canceled the DUmmy's vote for Obama. I suspect he/she fears being ostracised by fellow DUmmies if he/she does.

The wife of my neighbor and good friend is a lifelong dyed in the wool Democrat, which puts her political views in sharp contrast to those of her multi-millionaire conservative husband. She admits to being very much tempted to vote for the GOP ticket in this last election because she distrusts Obama on national security issues, but finally decided to base her vote on party loyalty again. She is opposed to practically everything the donkey party stands for and wants to impose on the American people, but her "old south" family's long standing loyalty to the Democrat party, which they don't seem to realize has morphed into the traitorous monstrosity that it is today, won out in the end.

I am very sorry that she still hangs on to what was once a fairly respectable political party that often worked to advance worthy social causes and supported sound national security policies, a party that my own family supported well into the 1970s. But I certainly don't hate her or refuse to socialize with her because of her political party affiliation, and she has the same attitude toward me, or at least seems to. OTOH, DUmmies appear to live and breathe a gut-level hatred based solely on an individual's political persuasion, whereas normal people are willing to allow their friends and associates to hold and express their own political beliefs and opinions without consigning them to the fires of hell if they disagree on any one point of doctrine.

50 posted on 01/02/2009 10:50:08 AM PST by epow
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To: Charles Henrickson


Nuff Said.

51 posted on 01/02/2009 11:38:03 AM PST by luvie (Now....on to 2012........Palin/Jindal)
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To: Old Sarge

Roger that. For now


52 posted on 01/02/2009 1:58:09 PM PST by GQuagmire
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To: Charles Henrickson
mikrofon, for the top graphic today I wanted to use your photoshop of crazed Maryscott O’Connor with the knife, with Li’l Beaver on the the screen. But when I went back to those DUFUs (04-17-06 and 04-18-06), I discovered the image no longer exists.

BINGO!


53 posted on 01/02/2009 2:25:24 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Tide Turned Just a Half Year After Pearl Harbor)
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To: bcsco
But the broader point is, they claim we're incapable of understanding the distinction between pro abortion and pro choice. The irony is there is no distinction. Anyone pro abortion or pro choice is comfortable with the idea of killing unborn infants. That makes them, at the very least, comfortable with murder. Once they make the choice of abortion then they step into the realm of committing murder. That's when the "pro" issue steps from passive to active complicity.

Many of them have had more than one abortion. They are the ones truly guilty of being serial killers...

54 posted on 01/02/2009 5:38:10 PM PST by FDNYRHEROES (Always bring a liberal to a gunfight)
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To: Charles Henrickson; franksolich

In before the DUmmie ALERT!


55 posted on 01/02/2009 5:49:58 PM PST by Roscoe Karns
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To: Charles Henrickson
Where to start. Where to start.

How do you feel about maintaining a friendship with a Republican?

[That's "ReTHUGlican," mister! Say, are you some kind of LOUSY FREEPER TROLL??]

If any troll ever comes to FR and starts a thread about maintaining a friendship with a rat, the VKs and mods eat / ZOT them.


I do not forget the horsesh*t I heard come out of people's mouths, or who they were.

[A donkey never forgets.]

I told one rat that I'll respect bend over just like the left respected Bush the pas eight years - "He is not my president", "Impeach chimpy", "Schrub", etc. She left in a hissy fit.


Let them come to you with questions and then educate them slowly. . . .

[Don't use big words.]

That coming from a DUmmie who probably thought the (R)s were still in control of congress the entire last eight years.


liberals were 4.9 times as likely as conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts. . . .

liberals were 4.9 times as likely as conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts, so they riot, scream at Republicans, protest everything, etc. Just look at the protest signs they carry and also the "Code Pink" nuts.


people who are racist . . .

[Like Jeremiah Wright.]

Most dims are racists.


Who isn't pro life?

[Most Democrats.]

Most rats are pro life for people on death row.


hey when its your own mom you have to talk to her. . . .

[Especially when you want her to answer the door when the pizza delivery guy comes!]

Hey, she is over 30 I take. Lots of life lessons are learned when you get older.


Now I live in Nebraska. . . . These f*ckers are nuts. I can't go to the gym because they have FOX tv. on and even though I try not to look up at the screen it makes me sick! I've seen bumper stickers that say "Still voting Democrat, you're stuck on stupid". I wanted to ram the f*cking car!

[OK, now WHO'S nuts??]

Now I live in Travesty county - the one blue cancer cell in central TX near Austin. Those leftover '60s hippies are NUTS.

56 posted on 01/03/2009 4:56:08 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (The main stream media lied - America died.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Conservatives" are unfortunately Born that way.. it isn't a Choice, they lack 'Fluidity' in their thinking because of Organic physical deficiencies in essential cognitive structures of the brain.

Does that mean we can have a "Call in Rethuglican Day"?

57 posted on 01/03/2009 8:22:43 AM PST by Dooderbutt
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To: Charles Henrickson
Now I live in Nebraska. . . . These f*ckers are nuts.

Whaddya say, frank? Is that true?

Well, as I've often said, the primitives don't know excresence about anything.

58 posted on 01/03/2009 9:30:39 AM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: HighlyOpinionated

I have a SIL and an uncle and cousin that are like that.

Minimize contact to just obligatory family functions. Life is more sane that way.


59 posted on 01/04/2009 3:31:45 PM PST by sauropod (An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod's faces - hitchhiker's guid)
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