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DUmmie FUnnies 12-02-08 ("Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I just signed up for Food Stamps and Unemployment!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 2, 2008 | DUmmie graywarrior, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/02/2008 8:43:52 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

Now that the Young Prince has been elected, I thought everybody's problems would be magically solved?? Then how come DUmmie graywarrior has posted this THREAD, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I just signed up for Food Stamps and Unemployment!"? Well, maybe the magic will have to wait until January 20, 2009. DA*N THAT BUSH! Why can't he get out NOW and let Obambi take over?! So let us grab a hankie and watch the DUmmies commiserate with DUmmie graywarrior, in Red Ink Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the Old Philosopher Charlie Henrickson, thinking maybe PJ-Comix can give graywarrior advice on cutting her grocery bills, is in the [brackets]:

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I just signed up for Food Stamps and Unemployment!

[Weeeeeee--WHOOOAAA! Wha' hoppen? I thought Obambi was going to FIX everything??]

The economy is working just great for us! AND and and, we make too much money to qualify for heat assistance! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Thank Gaia for global warming!]

AND and and, we gave our notice to move because we can't afford the rent and our landlady is starting eviction proceedings because we broke the lease (because there is STILL raw sewage leaking in the walls from the two condos above us which she refuses to get on the condo associations ass about)...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Call Joe the Plumber.]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! AND and and, our car broke down on Thanksgiving Day so we had to put $400 on our credit card to get it fixed so we could drive 120 miles back home after visiting relatives we have not seen in years.

[This was Gaia's way of telling you to reduce your carbon footprint.]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! AND AND AND Mr Gray has to have a non-melanoma tumor removed from his arm in two weeks after already waiting three weeks because we have no health insurance!!!!!

[So you don't have health insurance! At least you've got high-speed internet!]

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!]

I am so excited to be alive right now I can't tell you! Life is just so great, yessiree. Good thing I am whacky and insane otherwise I'd be sucking on the tailpipe of my Toyota.

[Only non-wacky, sane people suck on tailpipes of Toyotas.]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Hiya, cousin. . . . You say you tried to sign up for food stamps and unemployment but they fired the people at the food stamp office so you couldn't? You say you make too much money for heat assistance so you threw your money in the fireplace so you'd qualify? And you think you've got raw sewage leaking down the walls, only you're not sure because it kind of blends in with the wallpaper? And you spent your last dollar getting your car fixed so you could visit relatives you don't even like? Is that what's bothering you, bunkie? . . .
WELL, LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN WITH THAT DIGNITY AND STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS THAT YOU'LL SHOW THE WORLD, YOU'LL SHOW THEM WHERE TO GET OFF, YOU'LL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP . . . THE SHIP!
Now this is the Old Philosopher saying . . . Let's hear from the DUmmies . . .]

Stay the f*ck away from the tailpipe of your Toyota, do you hear me???

[Support public transportation! Use the tailpipe of a city bus!]

There's one cold comfort in all this. It can't get a whole lot worse.

[Thank you, Mr. Sunshine.]

At least we will soon have a President who will actually do something to correct all this sh*t.

[Yes! Yes! Hope! Change! If only we can hold on a while longer!]

This is my usual food pantry day but I didn't feel like standing outside in 17 degree weather in line for an hour.

[You might get your tongue stuck on a pole.]

And walk through the supermarket and look at the price of bread and milk.

[You need to take PJ-Comix to the store with you, to give you advice. In fact, PJ, you should have your own cable show: "The Grocery Whisperer."]

Things will get better. 1 20 09.

[I have a feeling that, like the Millerites of old, you will experience "The Great Disappointment."]

Once the focus is on us the citizens of America all that ails us will be getting better.

[Come quickly, Obamassiah!]

no health insurance but we do alternative medicine anyway.

[A good joint helps make your troubles disappear.]

Hoping things get better come Feb., March after Obama and Co. can get some programs for the jobless going.

[Obambi to the rescue!]

Come on universal health care and stimulus package..I think about 10,000 each for people in your situation would be great.

[Piker! Go for a HUNDRED thou!]

It is times like these we need to look out for each other. How can we start a secret santa/giving tree type thing on DU?

[DUmmie graywarrior is only $10 away from having $10.]

My only good reliable coping mechanism, when life is the sh*ts, is to take pleasure in small things: a new magazine and a cup of cocoa, a day off when it's snowy outside, a movie or board-game night with family or friends . . .

[. . . making artistic designs out of the raw sewage on the walls. . . . You know, the little things. . . .]

We can all blame bush but sorry to say
It started before his election day
Republicans were in power even then
Although Clinton was the president.

[And come the end of January
When the President is our friend Barry
And Dems in Congress run both houses
We'll still find a way to blame those louses--
THE RETHUGLICANS!]

Screw the wealthy for begrudging us the right to live.

[When all else fails and your life stinks, BLAME THE RICH!]

this gives me another excuse to scream, "F*ck you, Bush!"

[Well, at least SOMETHING good comes out of all this!]

crappety crap. sending you some mental hope, gw. Hope it helps.

[Look, the walls are getting cleaner!]

I'm sure you'll dig your way out of it but right now, just ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

[Unnngh..]

I am hoping that all this crap is behind you.

[It sounds like it's staring her in the face!]

No insurance here, either, but at least I don't have sh*t in the walls. . . .

[Life is good.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: TypeZoNegative

Sounds like we dated the same woman...


81 posted on 12/03/2008 11:37:31 AM PST by mowowie
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To: wbill

You just described they environment in which I was raised - family and friends helping one another. I have done computer work for family and friends (tech support, upgrades, etc.) as well as assembling furniture, light mechanical work/repair, and the list goes on. My family has also helped friends and family in hard times by taking on people to live in their homes while someone is trying to get back on their feet. I learned a lot about how to really help people from the way that my family lived.


82 posted on 12/03/2008 11:46:10 AM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson

A whole life spent suckling on the public teat. Pathetic.


83 posted on 12/03/2008 11:51:05 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: bcsco
What this clinger wants is to have it GIVEN to them. It's their right don't ya know.

What that lazy turd wants is for someone to bring the benefits to him/her. She/He doesn't want to have to move from the Lazy-Boy in front of the flatscreen TV (hooked up to Internet) to actually go and apply for the benefit.

I worked in welfare for over 25 years. At first we had to call TWO people to verify what the client stated. We had to have actual pay stubs, original bank records, rent and utility receipts, auto ownership, etc. Then it went to calling just one person. Then, we took the word of the client but still verified assets, income and expenses. Finally we just took their word for it, so anyone could apply and lie and get benefits. We only verified IF we had "good cause" to doubt a client's statement. Like the new SUV they drove up in . . . always belonged to someone else, they said AND we HAD to take their word for that unless we could document our suspicions (like the license plate said "Hers" or something like that)!

I am so glad I'm retired. I may not live high on the hog, but I do live high on the piglet.
:-)
84 posted on 12/03/2008 12:04:36 PM PST by HighlyOpinionated ([http://www.americanphonic.com -- mp3] [http://www.foundingfathers/info//federalistpapers/])
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To: Charles Henrickson

The 1-20-09 dummie BHO mantra...

“it’s not that we don’t care,
we just know that the fight ain’t fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change”


85 posted on 12/03/2008 12:08:16 PM PST by comet13 (Life is but a walking shadow....)
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To: PJ-Comix

Any tips for approaching a wholesaler to set up an arrangement like this?


86 posted on 12/03/2008 12:30:06 PM PST by Ignatz (Too late; it's Obacalypse NOW!)
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To: Ignatz; PJ-Comix

Hey PJ, I’d be interested in finding some type of deal like you’ve found also. I’ve read about co-ops one can join where for x amt of money one gets a box full of fresh food (mostly in season produce) on a weekly basis. The problem is in my area there’s not a co-op within 150 miles.


87 posted on 12/03/2008 1:08:05 PM PST by Sally'sConcerns (http://www.fda.gov/emaillist.html - Class I (life threatening) recalls email alert sign-up)
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To: HighlyOpinionated
I am so glad I'm retired. I may not live high on the hog, but I do live high on the piglet. :-)

You're a better person than I am. I couldn't handle that job. I don't have the patience for it. My life in management in the private sector seemed sufficiently full of aggravation. I'd not last a day in an environment you present.

88 posted on 12/03/2008 3:23:11 PM PST by bcsco (Liberals don't understand, it's impossible to pick up a turd-like Obama-by the clean end...)
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To: kimmie7
And how would one go about becoming a ‘select’ private party?

Marry into it. It's sort of a Latin thing. I don't think any "gringos" are select parties. Suppliers and customers are all Latins.

89 posted on 12/03/2008 4:46:50 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Tide Turned Just a Half Year After Pearl Harbor)
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To: Ignatz
Any tips for approaching a wholesaler to set up an arrangement like this?

See my reply above. It's sort of a Latin thing.

90 posted on 12/03/2008 4:47:48 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Tide Turned Just a Half Year After Pearl Harbor)
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To: Sally'sConcerns
Hey PJ, I’d be interested in finding some type of deal like you’ve found also. I’ve read about co-ops one can join where for x amt of money one gets a box full of fresh food (mostly in season produce) on a weekly basis. The problem is in my area there’s not a co-op within 150 miles.

This isn't a co-op. Just wholesalers that want to make an extra buck on the side so they sell under the table.

91 posted on 12/03/2008 4:49:21 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Tide Turned Just a Half Year After Pearl Harbor)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My mom made ox-tail soup. It was DEE-LISH!

I eat it straight up. It's the texture that I find very appealing.

92 posted on 12/03/2008 4:50:21 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Tide Turned Just a Half Year After Pearl Harbor)
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To: Roses0508
I was SOOO impressed the PJ knew about the Millerites

I'm more familiar with the Russellites.

93 posted on 12/03/2008 4:52:54 PM PST by PJ-Comix (The Tide Turned Just a Half Year After Pearl Harbor)
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To: PJ-Comix
It's sort of a Latin thing.

I can read Latin. Does that qualify?

94 posted on 12/03/2008 6:09:43 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Is that what's bothering you, bunkie?)
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To: PJ-Comix; NucSubs
Hey, PJ! NucSubs freepmailed me and asked to be added to the ping list. How many pingees does that make?
95 posted on 12/03/2008 6:12:14 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Is that what's bothering you, bunkie?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

And these people have the right to vote?

BRING BACK THE POLL TEST!


96 posted on 12/03/2008 6:46:06 PM PST by NickFlooding (Canceling out liberal votes since 1972.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Unnngh..


97 posted on 12/03/2008 6:50:03 PM PST by Jet Jaguar (Who would the terrorists vote for?)
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To: TypeZoNegative

I was on unemployment for a little while and I got a new job several weeks ago delivering auto parts. Yeah, perhaps knowing one of my bosses for over 30 years and since 5th grade and we still hang together helped a bit but it’s a living and I’m getting all 40 hours even though I was promised 30 to 32 hours a week. I think with the economy, people need parts to keep the old cars running instead of buying new ones. I know I’m mainly IT and some accounting for the most part in my life but anything will do to pay the bills, you can’t be choosy. Anyways, I’ll also have more hands on experience with cars, a good skill in these times. I guess while the Dummies collect unemployment, I’ll be hard at work. I remember Glenn Beck made a good point that the people who worked the hardest during the Depression generally kept their jobs, they might had to cut back on hours from time to time, but they had money coming it or at worst, the last to be let go. I guess while the Dummies sleep in and then get up to watch Gomer Pyle, I’ll be dragging my butt out of bed and hauling heavy auto parts. It’s OK, I like the job and somebody has to do it and when I come home, I feel like I’ve done something worthwhile instead of having the world go by me.


98 posted on 12/03/2008 8:31:43 PM PST by Nowhere Man (Is Barak HUSSEIN Obama an Anti-Christ? - B.O. Stinks! (Robert Riddle))
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To: dirtbiker
Remember, Joe said "jobs" was a 3 letter word, so I guess "work" would be outright profanity....

It's like the old show, "Dobie Gillis," where Maynard G. Krebs used to yell "work" when it was mentioned, he tended to shy away from work.
99 posted on 12/03/2008 8:34:00 PM PST by Nowhere Man (Is Barak HUSSEIN Obama an Anti-Christ? - B.O. Stinks! (Robert Riddle))
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To: NickFlooding
And these people have the right to vote?

Scary, isn't it.

I heard Neal Boortz say this one time. Voting "rights" should be only for those that own property and pay taxes....

100 posted on 12/04/2008 3:15:41 AM PST by dirtbiker (Joe Biden has an IQ of 146 and no idea how to use it....)
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