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DUmmie FUnnies 10-01-08 ("Anybody here have pre-birth memories?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 1, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/01/2008 10:32:53 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

For some reason I am sort of "politicked out" today. Therefore I went to my tried and true DUmmie Astrology forum to find some non-political flat out NUts thread to DUFU. I was not disappointed as you can see from this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Anybody here have pre-birth memories?" You know what I call someone who claims to have pre-birth memories besides being flat out NUts? I call them a liar. And the DUmmies are both. The very earliest memory your correspondent has is when he was three years old and living at Geneva-On-The-Lake in Ohio. Yes, my very first memory in life is of the waves of Lake Erie lashing up upon the shore. I was tossing a beachball into the air while yelling, "Herbie! Herbie!" Herbie being a chubby young companion of mine at the time. I wish I could tell you of the in-depth conversations Herbie and I had discussing politics and philosophy but that is the sum total of my memory of that time. But the DUmmies are somehow on a higher plane in their own minds so some of them claim they have pre-birth memories. You know what? I'm GLAD I don't have pre-birth memories. One thing I don't want to remember is floating inside a womb for month to month bored out of my mind. No TV. No computer. No nothing. Just darkness and the occasional hand shove by someone in the outer world to see if I was there. Yeah, I was there and thankfully I have NO memory of it. So let us now watch the DUmmies as they discuss their pre-birth memories in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if there is life after birth, is in the [brackets]:

Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

[Wouldn't that sort of be an argument against abortion?]

Not many people talk about it. I have memories from the time before we chose our bodies this time around and planning certain events. Anybody else?

[You want me to believe that Helen Thomas had a choice of bodies? Ha!]

Have you ever read "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton?

[No but I'll mark it down as New Age bilge that I have no interest in reading.]

Tell us about your prebirth memories. I don't have any and would love to hear about yours.

[Month 1: Utter darkness. Month 2 thru 8: Utter darkness. Month 9: Utter darkness...no wait! I see some light at the end of the tunnel!]

They are a little hard to describe

but basically I remember being light with no body, just a concentration of light energy. The place we were in, (there were lots of us) was very bright and we were planning our lives. It was almost like a game. We, (the close friends that I would spend this life with) were planning specific events that we would experience together, choosing our parents and such. Even some of the beings that were to be my pets were there. That was part of why they were coming back as another animal, so that I would take care of them.

[What kind of poker were you playing while you waited around? Holdem or draw?]

The best way I can describe the planning is that it was like a simulator where we would see certain things play out and then we would get information like, "this is going to really hurt or you are going to find this a real challenge. It seemed strange at the time but the answer was that once we got to this place, that emotions would be involved and that would make things more difficult.

[Becoming a DUmmie is really going to hurt.]

I also remember each of us going off by ourselves with some guide to plan some individual things, some happy, some tragic or frightening. I also remember that we could merge and become one with a larger light and just become a part of it. And then I remember going into the body before I was born and then parts of actually being born.

[Too bad for the ones that got aborted. No sweetness and light for them.]

My mom was actually shocked when, as a little kid, I kept telling her about this dream I had of a room with steel and these green tile on the walls. And being cold and these people carrying me around. She confirmed it was the room I was born in.

[Lucky you that the room didn't have a sign saying: "Abortion Clinic."]

Anyway, that's about it. It's been with me as long as I can remember

[Thanx for sharing...I think.]

I totally believe you, and this is the coolest damn post I've ever read! Thanks for sharing this. It made my day.

[I BEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

I really wanted to share it because I've only ever told a couple of friends, and haven't heard much discussion about it. I know other people must have experienced it too, as one of the other posts confirmed.

[Somehow I don't think NARAL wants to hear about your pre-birth memories.]

Can you go into any more detail? Anything else you remember?

[What was the Dow Jones average at on the other side?]

Just really random things...like the planning of certain events. I know there are a couple of things that are supposed to happen yet in my life that I remember planning.

[Your confinement to the rubber room is yet to happen.]

All I can remember is the actual birth process. That it was as painful for me as my Mom. I recall going down in a dark tunnel, and being welcomed by a bright light, then getting my butt slapped and screaming. I was born in a boarding house in N.Y. State. I have memories of the house as a toddler, like learning how to get down the circular wood staircase on my butt !! Wish I could remember as much as you. Maybe I could with regression.

[Do you remember the "body sculpting" performed upon your tiny talleywhacker? That's another early memory that I don't miss.]

Wait, you remember going into your body before you were born? I always thought incarnation took place when the human body took its first breath.

[That is more in line with NARAL doctrine.]

I have very fond memories, and at the age of 4 wanted to chuck it all and go back. I had a wonderful group of very loving beings to hang with. Also, making the decisions for this life on that side seemed like a walk in the park compared to how they've worked out on this side. Thankfully the other side still communicates when they can get through to me and they laugh at the serious person I have become over here.

[After Election Day, Nov. 5, I suspect a lot of your fellow DUmmies will want to chuck it all and return to the womb.]

That's very similar to my experiences. It's so nice to see that other people have them too.

[I call those other people your Rubber Room Roommates.]

Um, don't know if this qualifies, but I had a regression to my pre-birth planning session. I was being led to a huge amphitheater by my guide. The Elders were sitting around a giant oval-shaped crystal table. The amphitheater was full of people. I was told that these people were going to be here on earth with me and that I was to "awaken the others". It was very real and I have had this directive verified to me many times since.

[Liar! Everybody knows those pre-birth planning session tables are wood, not crystal.]

I can find out precisely WTF I was thinking when I decided to sign up for participating in the Ascension process. 'Cause the way I feel about it now? Worst. Decision. Ever.

[Another way of saying, "I wish I was never born."]

I ahve done holotropic breathwork a few times..

[Don't we all?]

It is also used for "re-birthing" work, very similar to shamanic journeying... but more physical.

[Shamanic journeying courtesy of sham memories.]

One session, I was "stuck" in the birth canal. The teacher pushed my body physically through her legs, and I really "felt" the pressure of the birth canal, and then they all held me and whispered, "we're so glad you're here!" An experience that I never really had, I know my birth was hard for my mom, I came 10 days early, on New year's eve...and they wanted me to be a new years baby so they joke about having held my mom's legs together till midnight! Little did I know, that I remembered being stuck! I am also very claustrophobic, mostly in the dark, too... And I certainly don't remember my family or anyone saying they were glad to see me. They wanted a boy, and when the doctor told my dad he had another daughter, he said "can i see HIM?" (another thing the family jokes about...haha)

[Too bad your brain still remains stuck in that birth canal.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: kingattax; PJ-Comix
...the only thing ive ever seen him NOT able to eat was some greenish-black fermented and rotten soy stuff that some taiwanese woman made.

Wasn't that the pickled, pigeon eggs?

41 posted on 10/01/2008 11:00:08 AM PDT by johnny7 ("Duck I says... ")
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To: PJ-Comix
("Anybody here have pre-birth memories?")

The only memory I have is someone yelling "Yes", "Yes", "Yes", "Yes" oh my God, "Yes".....

42 posted on 10/01/2008 11:00:12 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Polar bears who suffer depression and anxiety due to the global warming threat are bi-polar bears)
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To: GQuagmire

How about tuna tushies? BTW, they also ate the heads of those tunas...raw.


43 posted on 10/01/2008 11:00:39 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Back to the DUmmies....

Obviously the relive every day in the womb. Leave Mommy’s basement? Never. The cellar stairs are the umbilical cords.
Keep that pizza coming, Ma!


44 posted on 10/01/2008 11:01:20 AM PDT by GQuagmire (Giggety,Giggety,Giggety)
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To: PJ-Comix
Um, don't know if this qualifies, but I had a regression to my pre-birth planning session

Yeah, I also remember planning my life. It's been wonderful. But, just to add a little challenge, I planned for my mother to die soon after childbirth, for me to be born with a hole in my ventricular septum -vsd-, and three aortic valve prostheses over a little under sixty years. But, it's made it so much more rewarding. Of course an unsatiable friskinesss just added a little spice.

45 posted on 10/01/2008 11:02:05 AM PDT by Calusa (Bajo como el Dolar. Subo como el cafe.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel
Hey! I want “smell-a-vision” just like PJ has!

] Smell-a-vision not needed. Zimmern told us it smelled horrible.

46 posted on 10/01/2008 11:02:23 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel; Liberty Valance

“the small green one with big ears”

Laughing out loud, I am.


47 posted on 10/01/2008 11:03:26 AM PDT by Brucifer ("The dog ate my copy of the Constitution." G W Bush)
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To: PJ-Comix
I have finally heard someone admit they liked watching Bizarre Foods. There aren't many shows I will turn off quicker, maybe Olberdork is the only one.

My first memories are of Galveston Bay at about 21/2, maybe there is something about your first look at a large body of water.

48 posted on 10/01/2008 11:04:14 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: PJ-Comix
Not many people talk about it. I have memories from the time before we chose our bodies this time around and planning certain events. Anybody else?

[You want me to believe that Helen Thomas had a choice of bodies? Ha!]

EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! At least I had a light lunch.


I also remember each of us going off by ourselves with some guide to plan some individual things, some happy, some tragic or frightening. I also remember that we could merge and become one with a larger light and just become a part of it. And then I remember going into the body before I was born and then parts of actually being born.

[Too bad for the ones that got aborted. No sweetness and light for them.]

Go toward the light. Go toward the light.


Just really random things...like the planning of certain events. I know there are a couple of things that are supposed to happen yet in my life that I remember planning.

[Your confinement to the rubber room is yet to happen.]

Becoming a DUmmie was forseen before you were born???


I can find out precisely WTF I was thinking when I decided to sign up for participating in the Ascension process. 'Cause the way I feel about it now? Worst. Decision. Ever.

[Another way of saying, "I wish I was never born."]

Bizarre world of the DUmmies. No wonder they are so messed up.


One session, I was "stuck" in the birth canal. . . . .

[Too bad your brain still remains stuck in that birth canal.]

Got stuck in the birth canal???


I am also very claustrophobic, mostly in the dark, too...

DUmmies live on the dark side too.

49 posted on 10/01/2008 11:04:16 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (PELOSI & REID = Worst congress ever.)
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To: PJ-Comix

I give. Please no more.(retch)


50 posted on 10/01/2008 11:06:16 AM PDT by GQuagmire (Giggety,Giggety,Giggety)
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To: Ditter

Bizarre Foods is one of my favorite shows of all time. I LOVE exotic foods. Okay, Iguana is not on my list but I sure get jealous of Zimmern’s job. I wish I had it. Oh, and no bats for ol’ PJ either.


51 posted on 10/01/2008 11:07:49 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

This is one of the strangest issues of DUFU I’ve ever seen. See, there are risks to surfing the “calmer” side of DU.


52 posted on 10/01/2008 11:09:07 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Pretending that the Admin Moderator doesn't exist will result in a suspension.)
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To: johnny7
How about a nice, big plate of slatur... ?

No thanks, I'm saving room for the Casu Marzu.

53 posted on 10/01/2008 11:09:34 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (~ ~ FREE LAZAMATAZ! ~ ~ [Shipping and handling charges may apply.])
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To: dfwgator

It was pretty bad that day. I screamed and kicked. I still got free meals and a place to shack up for a couple of years after that tho....and she always tells me that she still loves me.


54 posted on 10/01/2008 11:12:29 AM PDT by Dallas59 (Just Say NObama!)
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To: GQuagmire

The WORST food experience I ever had was in L.A.. I saw an ad in the recycler newspaper for a word processor. So I show up at this apartment. I step in and the men are wearing towels on their heads, the women bathrobes. On the floor is a throw carpet and on top of it is a tray of what looked like diarrhea. Not only that it even smelled like diarrhea. I try not to barf and look at the word processor. Oh yeah, it was very warm and humid in there. Then the guy pointed at a plate next to the tray and offered me some of that crap. That’s when I lost it. I ran out the door and heaved up my guts on the stairway. Then I continued on down the stairs, not wanting to return. I still have nightmares of that. And was that really crap they were eating? Ugh!


55 posted on 10/01/2008 11:16:39 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Dear PJ,

The phenomenon of pre-birth memories is still subject to speculation; however, there is actually a scientific root for it.

True story: at a Thanksgiving dinner about 10 years ago, we were discussing my parent's former house in a neighboring town. They had been pressured to move out of that home a few months before I was born because they were, quite simply, the wrong color. The blockbusters had come through and snapped up homes, resulting in "white flight." My parents chose to remain behind for several years because they didn't want to leave their home town. When my brothers started school, they were getting beaten up on the playground frequently because they were white. Finally, my parents gave up and sold the house.

As we discussed the home and what had happened to the community since then, I remarked that I missed going sleighing in the park by our home. I recanted how I was riding on the back of the sleigh with my brother in front, and remember when we hit that tree?

My mother politely interrupted me and assured me I couldn't possibly have been on the sleigh with my brother, as I wasn't born yet.

"Yes, Mom. I remember it specially. J was wearing a blue coat and a red cap!"

At that point, several people looked surprised. My brother had crashed into a tree, wearing a blue coat and red cap, but I was still in my mother's womb at the time. He'd been hurt and it upset my mother tremendously.

Being a very logical person by nature, I presumed there had to be a logical explanation for all this. Had I heard the story when I was younger and "fabricated" the memory? It seemed so very real to me.

Then, when I was pregnant, I read an article about how women can actually experience brain shrinkage. During the baby's development process, brain stem cells are used from the mother's brain to help build the baby's brain. Conversely, brain stem cells from the child are subsequently transferred to the mother.

This also would help explain the phenomenon known as the "invisible umbilical cord," where mothers instinctively know that their children are in danger or ill, even if they are not in the same physical location as their offspring or their children are not showing any real symptoms of illness. Many mothers (irregardless of politics, religious beliefs, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc) have experienced this.

The latest round of studies focusing on infants in the womb has revealed that they are able to hear, respond to their environment, and exhibit emotion at stages much earlier than previously believed. Perhaps the most stunning and heartbreaking of these captured on film is "Silent Scream," which shows a baby squirming away from the saline needle that starts the abortion process.

This response is certainly longer than I thought it would be, but the end result is....don't discount the potential message because you dislike the messenger. Encouraging discussion of pre-birth memories will, in a small way, work to help change minds when it comes to abortion.

56 posted on 10/01/2008 11:19:47 AM PDT by TheWriterTX (Proud Retrosexual Wife of 15 Years)
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To: PJ-Comix

The “reality-based” community. Heh.


57 posted on 10/01/2008 11:19:47 AM PDT by CaptRon (Perdicaris alive or Raisuli dead)
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To: Slings and Arrows
No thanks, I'm saving room for the Casu Marzu.

I'll take mine with extra maggots!

58 posted on 10/01/2008 11:20:31 AM PDT by johnny7 ("Duck I says... ")
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To: All

Here’s a completely unrelated thread from the other week, showing a typical DUmmies’s business acumen and level of interpersonal skills.

This thread is a gem:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8111214


59 posted on 10/01/2008 11:21:01 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("If someone is coming to kill you, rise early and kill him first" (Sanhedrin 72a and parallels).)
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To: PJ-Comix

“You spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of your life trying to get back in.”


60 posted on 10/01/2008 11:21:27 AM PDT by Clemenza (PRIVATIZE FANNIE AND FREDDIE! NO MORE BAILOUTS!)
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