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DUmmie FUnnies 10-01-08 ("Anybody here have pre-birth memories?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 1, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/01/2008 10:32:53 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

For some reason I am sort of "politicked out" today. Therefore I went to my tried and true DUmmie Astrology forum to find some non-political flat out NUts thread to DUFU. I was not disappointed as you can see from this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Anybody here have pre-birth memories?" You know what I call someone who claims to have pre-birth memories besides being flat out NUts? I call them a liar. And the DUmmies are both. The very earliest memory your correspondent has is when he was three years old and living at Geneva-On-The-Lake in Ohio. Yes, my very first memory in life is of the waves of Lake Erie lashing up upon the shore. I was tossing a beachball into the air while yelling, "Herbie! Herbie!" Herbie being a chubby young companion of mine at the time. I wish I could tell you of the in-depth conversations Herbie and I had discussing politics and philosophy but that is the sum total of my memory of that time. But the DUmmies are somehow on a higher plane in their own minds so some of them claim they have pre-birth memories. You know what? I'm GLAD I don't have pre-birth memories. One thing I don't want to remember is floating inside a womb for month to month bored out of my mind. No TV. No computer. No nothing. Just darkness and the occasional hand shove by someone in the outer world to see if I was there. Yeah, I was there and thankfully I have NO memory of it. So let us now watch the DUmmies as they discuss their pre-birth memories in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if there is life after birth, is in the [brackets]:

Anybody here have pre-birth memories?

[Wouldn't that sort of be an argument against abortion?]

Not many people talk about it. I have memories from the time before we chose our bodies this time around and planning certain events. Anybody else?

[You want me to believe that Helen Thomas had a choice of bodies? Ha!]

Have you ever read "Journey of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton?

[No but I'll mark it down as New Age bilge that I have no interest in reading.]

Tell us about your prebirth memories. I don't have any and would love to hear about yours.

[Month 1: Utter darkness. Month 2 thru 8: Utter darkness. Month 9: Utter darkness...no wait! I see some light at the end of the tunnel!]

They are a little hard to describe

but basically I remember being light with no body, just a concentration of light energy. The place we were in, (there were lots of us) was very bright and we were planning our lives. It was almost like a game. We, (the close friends that I would spend this life with) were planning specific events that we would experience together, choosing our parents and such. Even some of the beings that were to be my pets were there. That was part of why they were coming back as another animal, so that I would take care of them.

[What kind of poker were you playing while you waited around? Holdem or draw?]

The best way I can describe the planning is that it was like a simulator where we would see certain things play out and then we would get information like, "this is going to really hurt or you are going to find this a real challenge. It seemed strange at the time but the answer was that once we got to this place, that emotions would be involved and that would make things more difficult.

[Becoming a DUmmie is really going to hurt.]

I also remember each of us going off by ourselves with some guide to plan some individual things, some happy, some tragic or frightening. I also remember that we could merge and become one with a larger light and just become a part of it. And then I remember going into the body before I was born and then parts of actually being born.

[Too bad for the ones that got aborted. No sweetness and light for them.]

My mom was actually shocked when, as a little kid, I kept telling her about this dream I had of a room with steel and these green tile on the walls. And being cold and these people carrying me around. She confirmed it was the room I was born in.

[Lucky you that the room didn't have a sign saying: "Abortion Clinic."]

Anyway, that's about it. It's been with me as long as I can remember

[Thanx for sharing...I think.]

I totally believe you, and this is the coolest damn post I've ever read! Thanks for sharing this. It made my day.

[I BEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

I really wanted to share it because I've only ever told a couple of friends, and haven't heard much discussion about it. I know other people must have experienced it too, as one of the other posts confirmed.

[Somehow I don't think NARAL wants to hear about your pre-birth memories.]

Can you go into any more detail? Anything else you remember?

[What was the Dow Jones average at on the other side?]

Just really random things...like the planning of certain events. I know there are a couple of things that are supposed to happen yet in my life that I remember planning.

[Your confinement to the rubber room is yet to happen.]

All I can remember is the actual birth process. That it was as painful for me as my Mom. I recall going down in a dark tunnel, and being welcomed by a bright light, then getting my butt slapped and screaming. I was born in a boarding house in N.Y. State. I have memories of the house as a toddler, like learning how to get down the circular wood staircase on my butt !! Wish I could remember as much as you. Maybe I could with regression.

[Do you remember the "body sculpting" performed upon your tiny talleywhacker? That's another early memory that I don't miss.]

Wait, you remember going into your body before you were born? I always thought incarnation took place when the human body took its first breath.

[That is more in line with NARAL doctrine.]

I have very fond memories, and at the age of 4 wanted to chuck it all and go back. I had a wonderful group of very loving beings to hang with. Also, making the decisions for this life on that side seemed like a walk in the park compared to how they've worked out on this side. Thankfully the other side still communicates when they can get through to me and they laugh at the serious person I have become over here.

[After Election Day, Nov. 5, I suspect a lot of your fellow DUmmies will want to chuck it all and return to the womb.]

That's very similar to my experiences. It's so nice to see that other people have them too.

[I call those other people your Rubber Room Roommates.]

Um, don't know if this qualifies, but I had a regression to my pre-birth planning session. I was being led to a huge amphitheater by my guide. The Elders were sitting around a giant oval-shaped crystal table. The amphitheater was full of people. I was told that these people were going to be here on earth with me and that I was to "awaken the others". It was very real and I have had this directive verified to me many times since.

[Liar! Everybody knows those pre-birth planning session tables are wood, not crystal.]

I can find out precisely WTF I was thinking when I decided to sign up for participating in the Ascension process. 'Cause the way I feel about it now? Worst. Decision. Ever.

[Another way of saying, "I wish I was never born."]

I ahve done holotropic breathwork a few times..

[Don't we all?]

It is also used for "re-birthing" work, very similar to shamanic journeying... but more physical.

[Shamanic journeying courtesy of sham memories.]

One session, I was "stuck" in the birth canal. The teacher pushed my body physically through her legs, and I really "felt" the pressure of the birth canal, and then they all held me and whispered, "we're so glad you're here!" An experience that I never really had, I know my birth was hard for my mom, I came 10 days early, on New year's eve...and they wanted me to be a new years baby so they joke about having held my mom's legs together till midnight! Little did I know, that I remembered being stuck! I am also very claustrophobic, mostly in the dark, too... And I certainly don't remember my family or anyone saying they were glad to see me. They wanted a boy, and when the doctor told my dad he had another daughter, he said "can i see HIM?" (another thing the family jokes about...haha)

[Too bad your brain still remains stuck in that birth canal.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix

I remember back before I first logged onto FR. Does that count?


21 posted on 10/01/2008 10:48:45 AM PDT by gridlock (The Democrats have attacked Motherhood. If they attack Baseball and Apple Pie, we got it made!)
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To: PJ-Comix

In a previous life, I firmly believed in reincarnation.

I have since learned though that it is a bunch of baloney.


22 posted on 10/01/2008 10:49:01 AM PDT by RobRoy (This is comical)
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To: cardinal4

I remember clearly having pre-birth memories.

I was all warm and snuggly in my mother’s womb, sucking my thumb and thinking “I hope I don’t get aborted today.”


23 posted on 10/01/2008 10:49:22 AM PDT by Brookhaven
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To: johnny7

In one episode, Zimmern went to the Carnegie Deli in New York and ate an enormous corned beef sandwich. Come on! How bizzare is that? My guess is that Zimmern just wanted to eat a big delicious sandwich so he passed it off as “bizarre.” I want that job! On the first episode I’ll visit Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and pretend I’m eating an exotic steak. However, I have eaten sea urchin eggs straight out of the sea urchin so that can legitimately be declared a bizarre food. And then there was the time I ate part of a Calico bass while it was still flipping... MATCH THAT, Andrew!!!


24 posted on 10/01/2008 10:49:30 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
“I ahve done holotropic breathwork a few times..”

Apparently, spell check/proofreading is not part of holotropic breathwork.

25 posted on 10/01/2008 10:49:48 AM PDT by alarm rider (Peace! through superior fire power....)
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To: PJ-Comix
"The Elders were sitting around a giant oval-shaped crystal table."

And one of the Elders, the small green one with big ears, had a strangely incongruent way of talking. Understand him you could, but time it took.

26 posted on 10/01/2008 10:50:03 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix

Lol. I hate it when my pre-birth memories come back. I had everything set up in mom’s womb. For nine months I just laid around. Lost it all when she kicked me out.


27 posted on 10/01/2008 10:50:39 AM PDT by Dallas59 (Just Say NObama!)
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To: GQuagmire

Zimmern already ate bull balls in Spain. I saw that episode. BTW, I’ve eaten the same in Montana. There they call them “Rocky Mountain Oysters.”


28 posted on 10/01/2008 10:51:05 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

I don’t even remember last Tuesday.


29 posted on 10/01/2008 10:52:38 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Sorry PJ. I’m with the DU’s on this one. I have pre-birth memories. These memories are from when my mother was in labor just before I was born.


30 posted on 10/01/2008 10:52:42 AM PDT by TruthWillWin
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To: kingattax
the only thing ive ever seen him NOT able to eat was some greenish-black fermented and rotten soy stuff that some taiwanese woman made.

He ate some really disgusting look green stuff last night that also smelled horrible. But in this case he liked it. I got really jealous when I saw him eating that giant clam in Samoa. That is something I would LOVE to try.

31 posted on 10/01/2008 10:52:59 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
We, (the close friends that I would spend this life with) were planning specific events that we would experience together, choosing our parents and such. Even some of the beings that were to be my pets were there. That was part of why they were coming back as another animal, so that I would take care of them.

LOL! And you were all speaking English too I bet.

I just had to laugh, this is like my daughter who was watching some ghost finders on a show that were in caves in S. America, the guys were asking (in English) "If you can hear us, show us a sign!"

I just flash back to the old Charlie Brown TV shows when the the adults start talking... WA WA wa wa wa... Like ancient ghosts were taking English courses while hanging out in a cave, or over in Transylvania during the Dark Ages.

DUmmies are just hilarious when faced with justifying practical questions like this.

32 posted on 10/01/2008 10:52:59 AM PDT by Abathar (Proudly posting without reading the article carefully since 2004)
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To: PJ-Comix
I know my birth was hard for my mom, I came 10 days early, on New year's eve...and they wanted me to be a new years baby so they joke about having held my mom's legs together till midnight!

A FReeper, on the other hand, would brag about being born on New Year's Eve to get her parents an extra deduction that year to keep the government from taking the money they earned.

33 posted on 10/01/2008 10:55:08 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (The $700B bail out is giving parachutes to bankers while we must keep our seat belts on and shut up.)
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To: PJ-Comix

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”


34 posted on 10/01/2008 10:55:53 AM PDT by Brucifer ("The dog ate my copy of the Constitution." G W Bush)
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To: PJ-Comix

“really disgusting look green stuff last night that also smelled horrible”

Hey! I want “smell-a-vision” just like PJ has!

Do you have my flying car?


35 posted on 10/01/2008 10:56:14 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: Dallas59
Lost it all when she kicked me out.

"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."

36 posted on 10/01/2008 10:57:12 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: kingattax

Is there any way to get in touch with Andrew Zimmern? I would like to be his guide if he ever visits South Florida. I know of an outdoor barbeque place in an industrial park where they serve TERRIFIC jerk chicken. Very hot but pleasantly so. My wife won’t eat it because too hot for her but I love that pleasant heat it leaves in my ears. I can actually feel it there.


37 posted on 10/01/2008 10:57:41 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (I WILL NEVER EAT AN IGUANA! NEVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

I’ll pass on the Rocky Mountain Oysters,Iguana,Bats,Tuna Eyes, or anything else like that thank you very much...........


38 posted on 10/01/2008 10:57:51 AM PDT by GQuagmire (Giggety,Giggety,Giggety)
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To: dfwgator

I’m hoping to go out like that...


39 posted on 10/01/2008 10:57:58 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix

This is one of the ways libs lie to themselves about abortion. They think the baby’s soul just gets back in line until a more convenient time.


40 posted on 10/01/2008 10:58:06 AM PDT by Eepsy (12-30-2008 +1)
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