Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 09-18-06 ("Yesterday, I Bought a Gun")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 18, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/18/2006 6:06:49 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Remember the movie, The American President? It was standard liberal claptrap written by Aaron ("West Wing") Sorkin. The climax of this forgettable flick was a chip-on-the-shoulder speech by President Andrew Shepherd in which he strongly supported the banning of assault weapons and handguns. That was unquestioned liberal orthodoxy eleven years ago when that movie was made. However, it now appears that the Left has not only ditched the gun control shtick but now actively advocates arming themselves. Not against criminals but to fight against EVIL Republicans. They have even recently embraced the movie, "Red Dawn" which has until recently been denounced as a rightwing flick. Now the DUmmies are embracing this movie as a blueprint for their own imagined survivalist struggle against the Republicans where they fantasize themselves as leftwing Wolverines. This complete change in attitude towards guns can be seen in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Yesterday, I Bought a Gun." So let us now join the DUmmies as they fantasize themselves as leftist gunslingers in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing a bullet-proof vest, is in the [brackets]:

Yesterday, I Bought a Gun.

[WOLVERINES!!!]

It's a nice .223 mod. What did I buy it for you ask? Protection, nope. Hunting, nope. Harm to Others, Nope. I bought it for the day in my life when a war comes to my backdoor. I plan to keep it safe and very secure from my family and never intend to use it until either the Republican Army or the christians come knocking on my door.

[Of course, this DUmmie doesn't even consider the possibility of a struggle with ACTUAL Muslim terrorists.]

With that said, if they come with hostility, I'll blow their kneecaps off.

[First you have to learn how to aim.]

However, what if this "conflict" never happens, what will I do with this gun? It's simple, I'll be buried with it and a copy of the Constitution because that's what its all about, loving your country, and making sure you and yours are safe.

[You'll be buried under a pile of empty pizza cartons in a testament to your useless life in mommy's basement. Perhaps a friend will ennoble your pathetic existence by setting fire to those pizza cartons to give you a faux Viking funeral.]

For when the sword is mighter than the pen, you will live to see another day.

[Is that from "The Two Towers" or "Return of the King?"]

PS, I hope there are some ammo stores availabe during the apocolypse. Oh wait, we'll have the big black L on our shoulder so we won't be able to buy ammo.

[Even worse, you won't be able to buy toilet paper.]

They steal another election and we'll all be buying guns.

[You can then shoot yourself with a paintgun.]

I'm just saying that another round of Republican rule and we'll all have to become survivalists, 'cuz they don't seem to understand their responsibility to the public when catastrophe hits.

[Can you survive without order out pizza for a week?]

Hey, I'll tell you one other thing, there's a hippy farm about 30 miles from where I live. Hell I'll just head down there. The feds never mess with their "Hemp" production.

[Smoke all the hemp you want. Why change your lifestyle?]

Russian soldiers refused to fire on their countrymen... ---- And American soldiers, except for a few nutcases, will do so, too. In fact, it is highly unlikely that the Pentagon would follow the neocons down the path to military dictatorship. Not everyone is as crazy as the PNAC. ---- But just for the record, the American population is just about the best-armed civilian population on Earth. Those attempting to enforce widespread martial law would be faced off against 30-40 million armed Americans,.... who, after the first week, would have M-16's, too. ---- Thomas Jefferson could scarcely have imagined where history and technology would lead, but he understood human nature. 2nd amendment gun rights are not about hunting or recreation.

[I'm tempted to make the LOUSY FREEPER TROLL accusation but now I'm not so sure since the DUmmies have done a big one-eighty on the topic of gun control when they started thinking they would have to fight the EVIL Republicans.]

As far as a personal arsenal goes, I'd recommend one handgun (concealable defensive weapon,) one 12 gauge shotgun, and one rifle such as an AR-15, Kalashnikov, M-1 Garand or SKS.

[A DUmmie munitions expert weighs in.]

JOIN THE NRA NOW!!!!.....AND SHOW Them that libs and progressives beleieve in the right to bare arms.....

[Benburch believes in the right to bare buttocks.]

Lets satrt the DRA !!!

[DUmmie Rifle Association.]

But, at this point in time, there are other things to be concerned about and plan for. For instance, there's no doubt the blog-o-sphere has hurt these bastards. What happens if they decide to take it down under the guise of some free market bullshit? We all KNOW the corporate media hates the competition. One day DU just doesn't come up anymore. What multiplies our strength is the ability to communicate and get the truth out. It would be prudent to have other options available, wouldn't it ?

[Don't worry. I told Karl Rove to keep the blog-o-sphere up and running since you DUmmies are such a rich source for DUFU comedy material.]

Yep, and if you're going to use your gun to fight fascists, those fascists are likely to be in the form of a SWAT team, so you'll want to aim for the head, as the torso will be heavily armored.

[And of course the fascists that this DUmmie means are EVIL Republicans, not actual Islamofascist terrorists.]

I used to be adamantly anti-gun. No more. I haven't bought a gun yet, but I've thought about it.

[Especially after watching the "V For Vendetta" fantasy.]

I recently bought one too... It's a nice .40cal Ruger Semi-Auto, and it scares the living hell out of me. I've taken it out the the shooting range a few times now and there are no questions that it will obliterate anything unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end. I hope to God that never happens, but I'm starting to feel a sense of security when I think about the fundamentalist nut jobs taking to the streets to bring us all to Jesus... If you start pushing your religious ideology on the rest of us, or dicking around with our civil rights, you'd best skip my place...

[Another DUmmie apparently unaware of the proclivities of REAL LIFE decapitating Islamofascist terrorists. Instead he lives in a "V For Vendetta" dreamworld.]

i am also armed with a .223 M4 carbine. The perfect CQB weapon next to the MP5, but can 'reach out and touch someone' effectively at 300 meters. You may want a sidearm too, a 9mm or .45ACP, as a last ditch defense or for a suicide out in a no-win worst case scenario. In these insane times its a sane choice to have a service weapon to defend your home. It's what's commonly referred to an STHF scenario, or Shit Hit The Fan, when society collapses into turmoil from civil unrest, catastrophic disasters, tyrannical government, religious fanatics, or zombies rising from the dead.

[I recommend you go straight to that suicide scenario from the get-go.]

As for the Microwave units that will undoubtedly be used against the populace at some point, since we're all guinea pigs to them anyway, bring a roll of TIN FOIL, drop it to the ground as you hang onto the free end of the roll in front of your body - creating a shield, and not only will it offer some protection, it will also play havoc with the unit sending the microwaves, especially if a BUNCH of people aimed the waves right back at them.

[And don't forget to roll that tinfoil into the shape of a hat to wear on your head.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2a; 2ndamendment; bang; banglist; democrats; dummies; guns; nra; rkba; secondamendment; tinfoil
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 61-8081-100101-120 ... 181-200 next last
To: hsalaw

Crazy, isn't it? They are just plain anti-Christian to the point of reacting like vampires at the sight of a cross.


81 posted on 09/18/2006 8:09:46 PM PDT by kenth (There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 77 | View Replies]

To: darkwing104

LOL!!!


82 posted on 09/18/2006 8:13:36 PM PDT by Space Wrangler
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

That is absolutely scarey. Somebody better warn the Jehovah's Witnesses about knocking on some of those DU nutcase doors.


83 posted on 09/18/2006 8:13:44 PM PDT by rock58seg (A minority of Republican RINO's are making a lot of Republicans look like fools.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: redwhit

To the left of Lenin, which 99%+ of DU is anyway.


84 posted on 09/18/2006 8:15:05 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 79 | View Replies]

To: redwhit
How far left can you be to think the media is right-wing?

Off the scale.

85 posted on 09/18/2006 8:19:19 PM PDT by NewLand (Always Remember September 11, 2001)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 79 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Well, it's encouraging (at some level) that the DUmmies have decided to admit that they were 100% wrong on one of their core tenants. The only unsettling part is how many have plans to murder Christians. We already have the muslims out to murder us...too bad Americans are out to murder Christians as well.

BTW, the reason they don't mentioned Islam is because the DUmmies and Islam share a core value...and that is, they are both cultures of death.

86 posted on 09/18/2006 8:20:29 PM PDT by highlander_UW (I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds my future)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dontpethesweatythings

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #920.


87 posted on 09/18/2006 8:21:51 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
It's what's commonly referred to an STHF scenario, or Sh*t Hit The Fan

Send Lawyers, Guns and Money.

88 posted on 09/18/2006 8:24:00 PM PDT by CzarNicky (Gentlemen, Dethklok has summoned a troll.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Shooter 2.5

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #921.


89 posted on 09/18/2006 8:24:36 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I'm afraid, very afraid.


90 posted on 09/18/2006 9:03:51 PM PDT by Big Guy and Rusty 99 (DEATH TO ISLAM BECAUSE ISLAM IS DEATH!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: prairiebreeze
""L" for...loser?"

No. The loser "L" is proudly displayed on his forehead.

91 posted on 09/18/2006 9:48:33 PM PDT by skimask (People who care what you do don't matter.......People who matter don't care what you do.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
"Yesterday, I Bought a Gun."

Repeat after me, DUmmie:

"This is a rifle. This is a gun. This is for killing. This is for fun..."
92 posted on 09/18/2006 9:59:48 PM PDT by decal (See gas prices drop! See Dems howl! Howl, Dems, howl! Howl,howl,howl!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Someone needs to tell these morons that owning a gun doesn't make them armed any more than owning a piano makes them a concert musician.

L

93 posted on 09/18/2006 10:23:09 PM PDT by Lurker (islam is not a religion. It's the new face of Fascism in our time. We ignore it at our peril.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
the blog-o-sphere has hurt these bastards. What happens if they decide to take it down under the guise of some free market bullsh--?

Someone's having a difficult time understanding the 'free' part of 'free market,' I see...

94 posted on 09/18/2006 10:47:21 PM PDT by MitchellC
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Shooter 2.5
If a dem wants to go to the range, refuse.

Nonsense, take them with you and make them hold your target!
95 posted on 09/18/2006 10:57:42 PM PDT by snuffy smiff (All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of yer musket.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: Lurker
"Someone needs to tell these morons that owning a gun doesn't make them armed any more than owning a piano makes them a concert musician."

It's worse than that: even DUmmies know at which end the piano keys are.

It's a 50/50 chance they'll end up looking down the wrong end of the barrel trying to figure out how to pull the trigger When It All Goes Down.
96 posted on 09/18/2006 11:03:35 PM PDT by decal (See gas prices drop! See Dems howl! Howl, Dems, howl! Howl,howl,howl!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 93 | View Replies]

To: Bush_Democrat
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

FOTFL "If you take that to the taxidermist it's going down to the office, because I will *not* have that as a decoration in *my* house."

97 posted on 09/18/2006 11:26:06 PM PDT by GoLightly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 61 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Thanks


98 posted on 09/18/2006 11:47:13 PM PDT by dontpethesweatythings (Is the '06 election season over yet???)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 87 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

So now some over there at du think Republicans and Christians are a threat???? I still do not undertsnad what it is they think they have lost--why they feel threatened or why the hatred for President Bush. He hasn't done anything "to" them except fight a war we have to fight.
Not a word on islamofacists... what is wrong with their thinking????
What is it they want?
Idiocy, pure idiocy.


99 posted on 09/19/2006 1:24:25 AM PDT by BamaAndy (Heart & Iron--the story of America through an ordinary family. ISBN: 1-4137-5397-3)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Yesterday, I Bought a Gun.

Good for you DUmmie. Lesson #1- The end with the hole is the dangerous end.

100 posted on 09/19/2006 2:06:15 AM PDT by gate2wire (Never Forget.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 61-8081-100101-120 ... 181-200 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson