Posted on 09/18/2006 6:06:49 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
Remember the movie, The American President? It was standard liberal claptrap written by Aaron ("West Wing") Sorkin. The climax of this forgettable flick was a chip-on-the-shoulder speech by President Andrew Shepherd in which he strongly supported the banning of assault weapons and handguns. That was unquestioned liberal orthodoxy eleven years ago when that movie was made. However, it now appears that the Left has not only ditched the gun control shtick but now actively advocates arming themselves. Not against criminals but to fight against EVIL Republicans. They have even recently embraced the movie, "Red Dawn" which has until recently been denounced as a rightwing flick. Now the DUmmies are embracing this movie as a blueprint for their own imagined survivalist struggle against the Republicans where they fantasize themselves as leftwing Wolverines. This complete change in attitude towards guns can be seen in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Yesterday, I Bought a Gun." So let us now join the DUmmies as they fantasize themselves as leftist gunslingers in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing a bullet-proof vest, is in the [brackets]:
Yesterday, I Bought a Gun.
[WOLVERINES!!!]
It's a nice .223 mod. What did I buy it for you ask? Protection, nope. Hunting, nope. Harm to Others, Nope. I bought it for the day in my life when a war comes to my backdoor. I plan to keep it safe and very secure from my family and never intend to use it until either the Republican Army or the christians come knocking on my door.
[Of course, this DUmmie doesn't even consider the possibility of a struggle with ACTUAL Muslim terrorists.]
With that said, if they come with hostility, I'll blow their kneecaps off.
[First you have to learn how to aim.]
However, what if this "conflict" never happens, what will I do with this gun? It's simple, I'll be buried with it and a copy of the Constitution because that's what its all about, loving your country, and making sure you and yours are safe.
[You'll be buried under a pile of empty pizza cartons in a testament to your useless life in mommy's basement. Perhaps a friend will ennoble your pathetic existence by setting fire to those pizza cartons to give you a faux Viking funeral.]
For when the sword is mighter than the pen, you will live to see another day.
[Is that from "The Two Towers" or "Return of the King?"]
PS, I hope there are some ammo stores availabe during the apocolypse. Oh wait, we'll have the big black L on our shoulder so we won't be able to buy ammo.
[Even worse, you won't be able to buy toilet paper.]
They steal another election and we'll all be buying guns.
[You can then shoot yourself with a paintgun.]
I'm just saying that another round of Republican rule and we'll all have to become survivalists, 'cuz they don't seem to understand their responsibility to the public when catastrophe hits.
[Can you survive without order out pizza for a week?]
Hey, I'll tell you one other thing, there's a hippy farm about 30 miles from where I live. Hell I'll just head down there. The feds never mess with their "Hemp" production.
[Smoke all the hemp you want. Why change your lifestyle?]
Russian soldiers refused to fire on their countrymen... ---- And American soldiers, except for a few nutcases, will do so, too. In fact, it is highly unlikely that the Pentagon would follow the neocons down the path to military dictatorship. Not everyone is as crazy as the PNAC. ---- But just for the record, the American population is just about the best-armed civilian population on Earth. Those attempting to enforce widespread martial law would be faced off against 30-40 million armed Americans,.... who, after the first week, would have M-16's, too. ---- Thomas Jefferson could scarcely have imagined where history and technology would lead, but he understood human nature. 2nd amendment gun rights are not about hunting or recreation.
[I'm tempted to make the LOUSY FREEPER TROLL accusation but now I'm not so sure since the DUmmies have done a big one-eighty on the topic of gun control when they started thinking they would have to fight the EVIL Republicans.]
As far as a personal arsenal goes, I'd recommend one handgun (concealable defensive weapon,) one 12 gauge shotgun, and one rifle such as an AR-15, Kalashnikov, M-1 Garand or SKS.
[A DUmmie munitions expert weighs in.]
JOIN THE NRA NOW!!!!.....AND SHOW Them that libs and progressives beleieve in the right to bare arms.....
[Benburch believes in the right to bare buttocks.]
Lets satrt the DRA !!!
[DUmmie Rifle Association.]
But, at this point in time, there are other things to be concerned about and plan for. For instance, there's no doubt the blog-o-sphere has hurt these bastards. What happens if they decide to take it down under the guise of some free market bullshit? We all KNOW the corporate media hates the competition. One day DU just doesn't come up anymore. What multiplies our strength is the ability to communicate and get the truth out. It would be prudent to have other options available, wouldn't it ?
[Don't worry. I told Karl Rove to keep the blog-o-sphere up and running since you DUmmies are such a rich source for DUFU comedy material.]
Yep, and if you're going to use your gun to fight fascists, those fascists are likely to be in the form of a SWAT team, so you'll want to aim for the head, as the torso will be heavily armored.
[And of course the fascists that this DUmmie means are EVIL Republicans, not actual Islamofascist terrorists.]
I used to be adamantly anti-gun. No more. I haven't bought a gun yet, but I've thought about it.
[Especially after watching the "V For Vendetta" fantasy.]
I recently bought one too... It's a nice .40cal Ruger Semi-Auto, and it scares the living hell out of me. I've taken it out the the shooting range a few times now and there are no questions that it will obliterate anything unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end. I hope to God that never happens, but I'm starting to feel a sense of security when I think about the fundamentalist nut jobs taking to the streets to bring us all to Jesus... If you start pushing your religious ideology on the rest of us, or dicking around with our civil rights, you'd best skip my place...
[Another DUmmie apparently unaware of the proclivities of REAL LIFE decapitating Islamofascist terrorists. Instead he lives in a "V For Vendetta" dreamworld.]
i am also armed with a .223 M4 carbine. The perfect CQB weapon next to the MP5, but can 'reach out and touch someone' effectively at 300 meters. You may want a sidearm too, a 9mm or .45ACP, as a last ditch defense or for a suicide out in a no-win worst case scenario. In these insane times its a sane choice to have a service weapon to defend your home. It's what's commonly referred to an STHF scenario, or Shit Hit The Fan, when society collapses into turmoil from civil unrest, catastrophic disasters, tyrannical government, religious fanatics, or zombies rising from the dead.
[I recommend you go straight to that suicide scenario from the get-go.]
As for the Microwave units that will undoubtedly be used against the populace at some point, since we're all guinea pigs to them anyway, bring a roll of TIN FOIL, drop it to the ground as you hang onto the free end of the roll in front of your body - creating a shield, and not only will it offer some protection, it will also play havoc with the unit sending the microwaves, especially if a BUNCH of people aimed the waves right back at them.
[And don't forget to roll that tinfoil into the shape of a hat to wear on your head.]
An oldie, but a goodie:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the
Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun
anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my
children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier and healthier street that would discourage
such behavior. This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern (or Texas) Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.....
(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
Hollow Points?
Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
"I bought it for the day in my life when a war comes to my backdoor. I plan to keep it safe and very secure from my family and never intend to use it until either the Republican Army or the christians come knocking on my door."
This Einstein needs to be reminded that you only fight as well as you train.
"If a dem wants to go to the range, refuse. No sense in arming the enemy."
Depends on who the dem is. Most of the ones I know are pretty moderate and level-headed, just a little misguided. I know someone who converted a liberal after a few vists to the range.
Sounds like good advice to me!
Sure to create . . .
Microwave® 
Widows
DUmmies can't stand a free media for two reasons: one, it gives a platform to the conservative voices out there; two, when they actually have to answer the tought questions, they are freely shown as fools, idiot, and poseurs.
BRING BACK THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE is the cry at DU.
Yeah, they'd probably blow their manhood off--if they had any.
This is like Bizarro Free Republic.
MOON BATTY
Tune: "Moon River"
Moon-batty,
Wilder than an ant,
I'm laughing at this rant
I read.
Oh, you DUmmie,
You're too FUnnie;
Can't tell if you're jokin'
Or smokin'
Some weed.
Tin-hatty,
Off in la-la land,
Conspiracies so grand
You weave.
You're angry, you seem quite annoyed,
Sitting unemployed--
You're rather paranoid--
Moon-batty,
BELIEEEVE!
Priceless
All your guns are belong to us macho man.
Or they will when you're trying to figure out how to load and fire the thing while we're breaking down your basement door.
Better you should stick with, well, sticks and stones, that's more your speed than a gun Mr. Macho Moonbat.
Diane's Rat-a-tat-tat Arsenal:
Where the heck does this cr*p come from? No one's trying to forcibly convert anyone to Christianity. This guy/gal/nutjob out to worry more about the islamofascists than about Christians.
Shouldn't that be "an SHTF" scenario, not "STHF"? Poor fools can't even spell initials!
How far left can you be to think the media is right-wing?
You win the benburch joke prize for this thread.
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