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DUmmie FUnnies 05-08-06 (DUmmie Teeniebopper Explodes In Narcissistic "Hate The World" Rant)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 8, 2006 | DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/08/2006 6:12:29 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Okay. You probably figure from the title of my thread that I am exaggerating the rant by 14 year old DUmmie Teeniebopper, WritingIsMyReligion. Actually her own THREAD title is far worse: "Geesum...I So F*cking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)." This thread is one long self-centered screech of anger on the part of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion about the world not paying enough attention to her. But is her extreme level of narcissism any surprise in DUmmieland? Just recently, Pied Piper Pitt made a dramatic ANNOUNCEMENT that he was leaving DUmmieland only to RETURN less than a week later. What next for Pitt? A melodramatic announcement that he is scratching the itch on his butt or that he is busy contemplating his own navel. Actually Pitt is CONSTANTLY posting some version of the latter routine. But enough about Pitt (although he never gets enough of himself) and let us now watch the amazing self-centered thread of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion posted in narcissistic Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, peering into the Center of the Universe In Her Own Mind, is in the [brackets]:

Geesum...I So F*cking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)

[Because the whole world doesn't pay enough attention to MEEEEEEEEE!!!!]

First, there are the parents of mine who talk business 24/7 and SCREAM at each other right in front of me--they're arguing over f*cking cars. Like I give a damn about your problems!

[Perhaps you would prefer to WALK everywhere, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, because your folks didn't care enough to buy a car. Do they also argue about finances? Because without money you wouldn't have the idle time to gaze at your precious self in the mirror.]

Oh, and speaking of parents--did I mention that my mom refuses to accept the fact that I despise her organized religion? "You're only fourteen; you can't possibly know what you believe." So I can't possibly know anything about what I think, but you can? You talk like a FReep, Mom.

["Hi Mom! I expect you to quietly accept the fact that I SPIT on your lousy religion. You must remain humbly silent while I constantly mock your religious beliefs. How dare you put God above the most important thing in the universe?---MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"]

Then there's the whole f*cking school. Asinine, every f*cking second of it--stupid bastard administrators who don't care that their "honors" system is a corrupt pool of shite mascarading as a "rigorous curriculum." There actually was a guidance counselor--mine, of course --who said that, "Gifted children don't need to be taught any differently from other children."

["Stupid damn administrators who won't treat gifted children like MEEEEEEE as something special."]

Excuse me? I'm dying here because your f*cking school administration refuses to admit it has problems, and you say I'm just fine sitting with the most unmotivated slobs--who are only in "honors" classes because of their jumped-up f*cking parents who insisted that their children were genii--and considering running off to some school system where I can actually get an education?? I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section of the "old" SAT (when there were just two sections, math and verbal) as a f*cking eighth-grader, which is better than ninety-seven percent of college-bound seniors, for f*ck's sake! I should not be complaining about how f*cked up school is! YOU SHOULD BE HELPING ME, YOU BASTARDS, NOT WORRYING ABOUT GWB'S F*CKED-UP "NCLB"--which, incidentally, leaves the nation's best and brightest behind. Good f*cking legistlation, you murdering, thieving ignoramuses who call yourselves "legislators."

["DISSSSSGUSTING! I am forced to sit with ORDINARY students who are far below my high intellectual and moral plane. Damn George Bush for wanting to help all the students instead of the special elite like MEEEEEEEEE!!!"]

Would you like me to go on about how much things suck right now?? I look forward to meeting with the BEST TEACHER EVER today, like I do every week for "intellectual stimulation," only to find that she wants to go see the damned art show that's being set up in the gymnasium--I go and stand there next to her as she's having the time of her life, while all I want to do is talk with her like we usually do. I'm left feeling like a third wheel, and so bitterly angry at her that I can barely breathe, which saddens me, because I love this woman like anything, and this is one of the few times I've ever been angry with her. But the DAMNED ART SHOW! I don't GIVE A DAMN! I have things to tell you, my friend!

["DAMN that teacher for wanting to spend some time with other students and activities when she should be totally focused on MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"]

And I stood there like a soldier for twenty f*cking minutes! No--half-an-hour!! But I guess I'm just a selfish beyatch--I was jealous of the other people to whom she was talking, fer chrissakes. What the hell is wrong with me???

["When I saw that teacher talking to OTHER students for a few minutes rather than to MEEEEEEE, it drove me NUTS!!!"]

I think I'm mentally ill...

[You're right at home in DUmmieland.]

I'm sorry, all, but I had to get that out. I'm so bitter and angry and f*cked-up, and I STILL HAVE TO F*CKING WORK tonight.

[Yeah, let's hear all about the high stress work you have to do, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

I swear, if that messed up six-year-old does ONE thing, I might have to strangle her selfish little neck.

[Babysitting. Which means you have to sit around watching the tube for a few hours while snacking on corn chips. However, I do find the fact that you will be alone with a six-year-old frightening. Oh and SHE is the selfish one? Now on to the DUmmie comments which serve only to enable her sense of victimhood.]

Most righteous venting

[Attagirl! It's good to let everybody know how special yet ignored you are. Please continue with your understandable self-pity.]

But I don't get why I'm so angry... 'tis confusing.

[Maybe you are so angry, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, because you suspect (but hate) the fact that you are NOT the center of the universe.]

It's masking something. Hurt? Frustration? Isolation? All of the above?

[Try self-centered narcissism.]

Frustration, for sure. Frustration because everyone else seems to be angry. Frustration because I can't walk anywhere without falling over people quite literally taking each other's clothes off--and I can't even find someone to love; at least, not someone who isn't 36 years my senior. Frustration because I love my ex-teacher like mad, like a mother, and yet I'm just always going to be another student to her, and there isn't a damned thing I can do.

[Good news! There is a certain long-winded equally narcissistic ex-substitute Newton, MA teacher who is only about 20 years your senior that might be interested in you.]

Take a dump in the school's mailbox.

[DUmmie ZombieNixon acting as the wise sage with this advice.]

Mail him a cat poop sandwich!

[More mature advice from DUmmie ZombieNixon.]

Good vent! Very passionate.

[Only in DUmmieland would such a vent get a thumbs up.]

Just wait until you enter the workforce... It's just as bad as high school - worse, rather... bosses who haven't a clue about anything except cutting costs and how to train workers to be team players rather than to to the jobs they were hired to do. And coworkers who love to lie behind your back; with the bosses not caring or not noticing a pattern with those vermin. I am very close to resigning at this point. And I recall that, even recently, they told me that they need me. Well, as a different coworker in another department once told me: "They don't deserve you..." And she is correct. Pity the job market is shit, but I'm still lookin' and hoping for the best.

[Commiseration from DUmmie HypnoToad, the older, unimproved, version of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

How do people get by in this miserable f*cking world???

[By not constantly gazing at themselves in the mirror would be a start, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

You aren't mentally ill, but you already knew that. Jealousy is a normal human feeling. Call the teacher or email her to talk to her.

[Believing that the sun and the planets and the stars revolve around you is perfectly normal, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. Call your teacher and tell her that you will allow her to apologize for not paying attention only to you 24/7.]

Teenage angst is a f*cking rite of passage to true adulthood.

[Methinks that the self-pitying sense of special entitlement will be a PERMANENT passage for DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. She is NEVER going to get off the USS MEEEEE.]

WritingIsMyReligion, trust yourself.

[Yes, your whiny self-centered self-pitying rant is entirely justified. All must revolve around YOU.]

I already channel myself through writing and music. But I still ALWAYS feel like nobody understands me, or will ever understand me....

[They just don't understand the very special genius that is MEEEEEEEE!!!!]

I make the rest of the school look bad. I should be pushed down, apparently. Goddamned dumbing-down of America.

[I am being punished for my very special sense of self-entitlment. DAMN THEM ALL for not treating me as their superior!]

You are not alone! There is a support network out there for extra gifted teens--you are not alone! Do not let it overwhelm your sense of who you are--you know what is true, don't let them kill your spirit! If you are desperate, find help now! People who don't understand true giftedness will NEVER get it! Please write to me--btdt. peace.

[You are not alone. There is a support network of whiney self-pitying spoiled brats who need to feel superior to others. It is called DUmmieland.]

First, you are a bright teenager. The feelings you are having are pathetically normal for your age. Most everyone gets them at that age.

[If true then the teenagers of today are in much worse shape than I thought.]

My parents and I usually get along pretty well, but these damned hormonal shifts sometimes leave me ridiculously angry at them for no reason whatsoever.

[Like ranting at them for talking about business and cars as well as mocking your mother's religion? Could a very slight ray of self-awareness be entering this DUmmie?]

Most of the time she leaves me alone. But she says she's "bothered" by the lack of religion in my upbringing--which, if you think about it, is her fault.

[Somehow it's your mom's fault that you despise her religion?]

I'm a pantheist /agnostic/ spiritualist /satanist /heathen.

[Where are you worship services, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion? At the local Goth club?]

Don't get me wrong, she's very liberal, very tolerant. But her ability to stick with the popes despite all the evidence against them astounds me.

[Thus spaketh DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, theology scholar.]

You are fourteen.... You are suppose to rant and rave.... It's your freakin' job.....

[You are fourteen.... You are suppose to rant and rave like a self-centered spoiled brat.... It's your entitlement....]

Well, I'll be free in three years now. I want to go to some place liberal, eccentric, relatively insane, and cultural.

[Except for the cultural part, it sounds like you would enjoy attending UC Santa Cruz.]

you are not mentally ill, my sweet you are one of us few folk who actually live in the real world and see how badly things suck.

[You are not mentally ill. You are one of the few folks who recognize that you are mentally and morally superior to the other students which justifies your exaggerated sense of self-entitlement.]

It's hard to be the only sober person in a room full of drunks, I guess. Our country has been inebriated for five years. We're going to have a hell of a hangover come midterms.

[Yes, you are the only sober person in your school, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. The other students are too drunk to realize that you are BETTER than they are.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: PJ-Comix

This girl babysits a six year old? Shame on the parents who allow this twit anywhere near their child.


41 posted on 05/08/2006 6:56:59 AM PDT by ariamne (Proud shieldmaiden of the infidel--never forget, never forgive 9/11)
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To: PJ-Comix
First, you are a bright teenager. The feelings you are having are pathetically normal for your age. Most everyone gets them at that age.

Do you think that was the response they meant to give? Is this a lousy freeper troll?!? Or did they mean perfectly?

42 posted on 05/08/2006 6:58:07 AM PDT by mozrock (They're not people, they're hippies!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Just recently, Pied Piper Pitt made a dramatic ANNOUNCEMENT that he was leaving DUmmieland only to RETURN less than a week later.

In praise of Pied Piper Pitt's perfectly predictable self-recanted leaving, I'll post a parody from my panoply of Pitt paeans:

SELF-RECANTED EVENING
Tune: "Some Enchanted Evening"

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!

43 posted on 05/08/2006 6:59:28 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Now on to DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.)
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To: TheSpottedOwl
I wonder how safe a place DU is for teenagers, not counting political indoctrination?

Given the warped view of the world that predominates over there, it's a lousy place for young, impressionable minds.

44 posted on 05/08/2006 6:59:35 AM PDT by Denver Ditdat (Deus Vult)
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To: PJ-Comix
She shouldn't feel so alone - 80,000 FReepers are laughing at her right now. She only made one halfway valid point:

"NCLB"--which, incidentally, leaves the nation's best and brightest behind.

But that's the whole point of public schools in general - NCLB just exacerbated it a bit. And nothing else she wrote indicates she belongs in the "gifted" category. ;)

45 posted on 05/08/2006 7:01:14 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: PJ-Comix
Just recently, Pied Piper Pitt made a dramatic ANNOUNCEMENT that he was leaving DUmmieland only to RETURN less than a week later.

Dang. I lost on that over/under bet. I thought he'd wait longer just to increase the dramatics of his return.

46 posted on 05/08/2006 7:01:30 AM PDT by kevkrom (Posting snarky comments so you don't have to)
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To: PJ-Comix
As soon as this person identified themself as a teen, the DU predators rolled in. "Nice passionate rant, lets meet for coffee to talk about it".

Sickening perverts.

47 posted on 05/08/2006 7:02:38 AM PDT by Archie Bunker on steroids (Mr Whipple says, please don't squeeze the koran)
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To: PJ-Comix

I'm guessing that her "pain" comes from a double-digit number of piercings all over her body. I rarely curse for such a long period of time, and in every single sentence, after stripping some skin working on the car.


48 posted on 05/08/2006 7:03:42 AM PDT by jiggyboy
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To: kevkrom
Dang. I lost on that over/under bet. I thought he'd wait longer just to increase the dramatics of his return.

You can't blame Pitt. When he finds the next Day That Everything Changed, he's obliged to point it out to everyone.

SD

49 posted on 05/08/2006 7:03:48 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: Denver Ditdat

So, are her parents too busy yelling at each other to monitor her internet usage? DU could have cyber creeps just like any other site. Not talking politics here.


50 posted on 05/08/2006 7:04:04 AM PDT by TheSpottedOwl (If you don't understand the word "Illegal", then the public school system has failed you.)
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To: PJ-Comix
my mom refuses to accept the fact that I despise her organized religion

I guess you prefer disorganized religion.

51 posted on 05/08/2006 7:09:05 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (OrganizedChristianityIsMyReligion)
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To: kevkrom

If you want Pitt to change his mind, just wait a minute.


52 posted on 05/08/2006 7:09:28 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I look forward to meeting with the BEST TEACHER EVER today, like I do every week for "intellectual stimulation," only to find that she wants to go see the damned art show that's being set up in the gymnasium--I go and stand there next to her as she's having the time of her life, while all I want to do is talk with her like we usually do. I'm left feeling like a third wheel, and so bitterly angry at her that I can barely breathe, which saddens me, because I love this woman like anything, and this is one of the few times I've ever been angry with her. But the DAMNED ART SHOW! I don't GIVE A DAMN! I have things to tell you, my friend!

The notion this was probably a standard exercise in bondaries clarification on the part of the teacher obviously never occurred to our suckling young prodigy.

53 posted on 05/08/2006 7:12:09 AM PDT by papertyger (Our Constitution isn't perfect, but it's better than what we have right now.)
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To: PJ-Comix
their "honors" system is a corrupt pool of shite mascarading as a "rigorous curriculum."

I can see this little DUmmiette knows more about mascara than about academics.

54 posted on 05/08/2006 7:12:27 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (OrganizedChristianityIsMyReligion)
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To: PJ-Comix
I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section. . . .

You aced the profanity part, I bet.

55 posted on 05/08/2006 7:15:30 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (OrganizedChristianityIsMyReligion)
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To: PJ-Comix
From Pitt's return thread.

LeftHander (1000+ posts) Fri May-05-06 11:21 PM
97. It's a coup Will....
the military shut BushCo and the neocons down....

It is subtle...but effective and will preserve our "democracy" without uneeded public unrest. (which was coming)

Cheney was a loose cannon. Bush an incompetent boob. No military mind that has dedicated thier life to serve this country and constitution was going to let a puke like Bush ruin this nation.

We are a nation of the people protected by a very strong and principled military. Thoguh it may of appeared to not of been...it took some changes at the top of the military command. Like I said the right threats...the right prmises were made and we have a bloodless coup in the guise of a sex scandal.

So. Kerry's president now?

SD

56 posted on 05/08/2006 7:17:40 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: PJ-Comix
Would you like me to go on about how much things suck right now??

Would you stop if we said no?

57 posted on 05/08/2006 7:17:41 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Thought not.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Hah! She is only 14, yet she is well versed in the narcissistic vernacular of DUmmyism. Come to think of it, the vast majority of DUmmies never age past 14, at least mentally and emotionally. I think this actually explains them quite well.

As for the Air and Sea show, I passed it up this week. Its SUPER friggin hot out there, and with a couple of little kids, it sure is asking alot. Having said that, that show alone is worth the trip to South Florida from anywhere within a car drive away.

As for the hot ladies, what can you say, its South Florida. As for your bad luck with the timing, it must be some kind of bad Kharma, for being so hard on the DUmmies. Yeah, thats it, it the negative vibes they are sending you...

58 posted on 05/08/2006 7:22:59 AM PDT by Paradox (Removing all Doubt since 1998!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm left feeling like a third wheel. . . .

The correct expression, Miss 720-out-of-800 , is "feeling like a fifth wheel."

This must have been where you lost points.

59 posted on 05/08/2006 7:23:14 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (But if all you've ever driven is a bicycle, I suppose "third wheel" makes sense.)
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To: PJ-Comix

WOW.....behold the power of lack of medication!


60 posted on 05/08/2006 7:23:29 AM PDT by NRA1995 (Let's all leave the US and return as undocumented trespassers....uh, immigrants)
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