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DUmmie FUnnies 05-08-06 (DUmmie Teeniebopper Explodes In Narcissistic "Hate The World" Rant)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 8, 2006 | DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/08/2006 6:12:29 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Okay. You probably figure from the title of my thread that I am exaggerating the rant by 14 year old DUmmie Teeniebopper, WritingIsMyReligion. Actually her own THREAD title is far worse: "Geesum...I So F*cking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)." This thread is one long self-centered screech of anger on the part of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion about the world not paying enough attention to her. But is her extreme level of narcissism any surprise in DUmmieland? Just recently, Pied Piper Pitt made a dramatic ANNOUNCEMENT that he was leaving DUmmieland only to RETURN less than a week later. What next for Pitt? A melodramatic announcement that he is scratching the itch on his butt or that he is busy contemplating his own navel. Actually Pitt is CONSTANTLY posting some version of the latter routine. But enough about Pitt (although he never gets enough of himself) and let us now watch the amazing self-centered thread of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion posted in narcissistic Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, peering into the Center of the Universe In Her Own Mind, is in the [brackets]:

Geesum...I So F*cking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)

[Because the whole world doesn't pay enough attention to MEEEEEEEEE!!!!]

First, there are the parents of mine who talk business 24/7 and SCREAM at each other right in front of me--they're arguing over f*cking cars. Like I give a damn about your problems!

[Perhaps you would prefer to WALK everywhere, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, because your folks didn't care enough to buy a car. Do they also argue about finances? Because without money you wouldn't have the idle time to gaze at your precious self in the mirror.]

Oh, and speaking of parents--did I mention that my mom refuses to accept the fact that I despise her organized religion? "You're only fourteen; you can't possibly know what you believe." So I can't possibly know anything about what I think, but you can? You talk like a FReep, Mom.

["Hi Mom! I expect you to quietly accept the fact that I SPIT on your lousy religion. You must remain humbly silent while I constantly mock your religious beliefs. How dare you put God above the most important thing in the universe?---MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"]

Then there's the whole f*cking school. Asinine, every f*cking second of it--stupid bastard administrators who don't care that their "honors" system is a corrupt pool of shite mascarading as a "rigorous curriculum." There actually was a guidance counselor--mine, of course --who said that, "Gifted children don't need to be taught any differently from other children."

["Stupid damn administrators who won't treat gifted children like MEEEEEEE as something special."]

Excuse me? I'm dying here because your f*cking school administration refuses to admit it has problems, and you say I'm just fine sitting with the most unmotivated slobs--who are only in "honors" classes because of their jumped-up f*cking parents who insisted that their children were genii--and considering running off to some school system where I can actually get an education?? I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section of the "old" SAT (when there were just two sections, math and verbal) as a f*cking eighth-grader, which is better than ninety-seven percent of college-bound seniors, for f*ck's sake! I should not be complaining about how f*cked up school is! YOU SHOULD BE HELPING ME, YOU BASTARDS, NOT WORRYING ABOUT GWB'S F*CKED-UP "NCLB"--which, incidentally, leaves the nation's best and brightest behind. Good f*cking legistlation, you murdering, thieving ignoramuses who call yourselves "legislators."

["DISSSSSGUSTING! I am forced to sit with ORDINARY students who are far below my high intellectual and moral plane. Damn George Bush for wanting to help all the students instead of the special elite like MEEEEEEEEE!!!"]

Would you like me to go on about how much things suck right now?? I look forward to meeting with the BEST TEACHER EVER today, like I do every week for "intellectual stimulation," only to find that she wants to go see the damned art show that's being set up in the gymnasium--I go and stand there next to her as she's having the time of her life, while all I want to do is talk with her like we usually do. I'm left feeling like a third wheel, and so bitterly angry at her that I can barely breathe, which saddens me, because I love this woman like anything, and this is one of the few times I've ever been angry with her. But the DAMNED ART SHOW! I don't GIVE A DAMN! I have things to tell you, my friend!

["DAMN that teacher for wanting to spend some time with other students and activities when she should be totally focused on MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"]

And I stood there like a soldier for twenty f*cking minutes! No--half-an-hour!! But I guess I'm just a selfish beyatch--I was jealous of the other people to whom she was talking, fer chrissakes. What the hell is wrong with me???

["When I saw that teacher talking to OTHER students for a few minutes rather than to MEEEEEEE, it drove me NUTS!!!"]

I think I'm mentally ill...

[You're right at home in DUmmieland.]

I'm sorry, all, but I had to get that out. I'm so bitter and angry and f*cked-up, and I STILL HAVE TO F*CKING WORK tonight.

[Yeah, let's hear all about the high stress work you have to do, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

I swear, if that messed up six-year-old does ONE thing, I might have to strangle her selfish little neck.

[Babysitting. Which means you have to sit around watching the tube for a few hours while snacking on corn chips. However, I do find the fact that you will be alone with a six-year-old frightening. Oh and SHE is the selfish one? Now on to the DUmmie comments which serve only to enable her sense of victimhood.]

Most righteous venting

[Attagirl! It's good to let everybody know how special yet ignored you are. Please continue with your understandable self-pity.]

But I don't get why I'm so angry... 'tis confusing.

[Maybe you are so angry, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, because you suspect (but hate) the fact that you are NOT the center of the universe.]

It's masking something. Hurt? Frustration? Isolation? All of the above?

[Try self-centered narcissism.]

Frustration, for sure. Frustration because everyone else seems to be angry. Frustration because I can't walk anywhere without falling over people quite literally taking each other's clothes off--and I can't even find someone to love; at least, not someone who isn't 36 years my senior. Frustration because I love my ex-teacher like mad, like a mother, and yet I'm just always going to be another student to her, and there isn't a damned thing I can do.

[Good news! There is a certain long-winded equally narcissistic ex-substitute Newton, MA teacher who is only about 20 years your senior that might be interested in you.]

Take a dump in the school's mailbox.

[DUmmie ZombieNixon acting as the wise sage with this advice.]

Mail him a cat poop sandwich!

[More mature advice from DUmmie ZombieNixon.]

Good vent! Very passionate.

[Only in DUmmieland would such a vent get a thumbs up.]

Just wait until you enter the workforce... It's just as bad as high school - worse, rather... bosses who haven't a clue about anything except cutting costs and how to train workers to be team players rather than to to the jobs they were hired to do. And coworkers who love to lie behind your back; with the bosses not caring or not noticing a pattern with those vermin. I am very close to resigning at this point. And I recall that, even recently, they told me that they need me. Well, as a different coworker in another department once told me: "They don't deserve you..." And she is correct. Pity the job market is shit, but I'm still lookin' and hoping for the best.

[Commiseration from DUmmie HypnoToad, the older, unimproved, version of DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

How do people get by in this miserable f*cking world???

[By not constantly gazing at themselves in the mirror would be a start, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion.]

You aren't mentally ill, but you already knew that. Jealousy is a normal human feeling. Call the teacher or email her to talk to her.

[Believing that the sun and the planets and the stars revolve around you is perfectly normal, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. Call your teacher and tell her that you will allow her to apologize for not paying attention only to you 24/7.]

Teenage angst is a f*cking rite of passage to true adulthood.

[Methinks that the self-pitying sense of special entitlement will be a PERMANENT passage for DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. She is NEVER going to get off the USS MEEEEE.]

WritingIsMyReligion, trust yourself.

[Yes, your whiny self-centered self-pitying rant is entirely justified. All must revolve around YOU.]

I already channel myself through writing and music. But I still ALWAYS feel like nobody understands me, or will ever understand me....

[They just don't understand the very special genius that is MEEEEEEEE!!!!]

I make the rest of the school look bad. I should be pushed down, apparently. Goddamned dumbing-down of America.

[I am being punished for my very special sense of self-entitlment. DAMN THEM ALL for not treating me as their superior!]

You are not alone! There is a support network out there for extra gifted teens--you are not alone! Do not let it overwhelm your sense of who you are--you know what is true, don't let them kill your spirit! If you are desperate, find help now! People who don't understand true giftedness will NEVER get it! Please write to me--btdt. peace.

[You are not alone. There is a support network of whiney self-pitying spoiled brats who need to feel superior to others. It is called DUmmieland.]

First, you are a bright teenager. The feelings you are having are pathetically normal for your age. Most everyone gets them at that age.

[If true then the teenagers of today are in much worse shape than I thought.]

My parents and I usually get along pretty well, but these damned hormonal shifts sometimes leave me ridiculously angry at them for no reason whatsoever.

[Like ranting at them for talking about business and cars as well as mocking your mother's religion? Could a very slight ray of self-awareness be entering this DUmmie?]

Most of the time she leaves me alone. But she says she's "bothered" by the lack of religion in my upbringing--which, if you think about it, is her fault.

[Somehow it's your mom's fault that you despise her religion?]

I'm a pantheist /agnostic/ spiritualist /satanist /heathen.

[Where are you worship services, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion? At the local Goth club?]

Don't get me wrong, she's very liberal, very tolerant. But her ability to stick with the popes despite all the evidence against them astounds me.

[Thus spaketh DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion, theology scholar.]

You are fourteen.... You are suppose to rant and rave.... It's your freakin' job.....

[You are fourteen.... You are suppose to rant and rave like a self-centered spoiled brat.... It's your entitlement....]

Well, I'll be free in three years now. I want to go to some place liberal, eccentric, relatively insane, and cultural.

[Except for the cultural part, it sounds like you would enjoy attending UC Santa Cruz.]

you are not mentally ill, my sweet you are one of us few folk who actually live in the real world and see how badly things suck.

[You are not mentally ill. You are one of the few folks who recognize that you are mentally and morally superior to the other students which justifies your exaggerated sense of self-entitlement.]

It's hard to be the only sober person in a room full of drunks, I guess. Our country has been inebriated for five years. We're going to have a hell of a hangover come midterms.

[Yes, you are the only sober person in your school, DUmmie WritingIsMyReligion. The other students are too drunk to realize that you are BETTER than they are.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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The Air & Sea Show here in Ft. Lauderdale yesterday was GREAT! Just lie back in the cool ocean water and watch the show above. The amazing thing is that my girlfriend and I were surrounded by lots of hot looking chix at the beach. Don't they have boyfriends? This always seems to happen when I am out with my girlfriend. Clemenza could have had a field day there had he not been stuck in Joisey.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 05/08/2006 6:12:34 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
ib4p
2 posted on 05/08/2006 6:13:17 AM PDT by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 5! Woo-hoo!


3 posted on 05/08/2006 6:13:48 AM PDT by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Count Petofi will not be denied!)
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


4 posted on 05/08/2006 6:13:55 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

ping


5 posted on 05/08/2006 6:17:30 AM PDT by Mercat (It's still Easter and we are the Easter people.)
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To: PJ-Comix

DUmmie WritingismyReligion betrayes her lack of intelligence by her prodigious use of the F-word.


6 posted on 05/08/2006 6:17:32 AM PDT by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section of the "old" SAT (when there were just two sections, math and verbal) as a f*cking eighth-grader, which is better than ninety-seven percent of college-bound seniors, for f*ck's sake!

Bzzzzzzzt! Sorry.

I call BS.

7 posted on 05/08/2006 6:18:01 AM PDT by Petronski (I just love that woman.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10?


8 posted on 05/08/2006 6:18:44 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Well, there's a self-centered SOB in the making...


9 posted on 05/08/2006 6:19:50 AM PDT by tje
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To: PJ-Comix

10!!!???


10 posted on 05/08/2006 6:20:45 AM PDT by mowowie
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To: PJ-Comix

Oh this chick is all over the Lounge. Very full of herself. Thinks she knows more than all the adults over there. Someday she'll find out that the world isn't all about her.


11 posted on 05/08/2006 6:21:36 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!)
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To: PJ-Comix

This is the writing of an honors student? I'd say her parents have every right to demand a refund from the school system.


12 posted on 05/08/2006 6:21:42 AM PDT by prairiebreeze (God bless our fine military and their families.)
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To: tje
Well, there's a self-centered SOB in the making...

I'd say the die has been cast already.

13 posted on 05/08/2006 6:24:25 AM PDT by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 20?!


14 posted on 05/08/2006 6:26:26 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Lye... will 'liberate' her.


15 posted on 05/08/2006 6:26:37 AM PDT by johnny7 (“Nah, I ain’t Jewish, I just don’t dig on swine, that’s all.”)
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To: PJ-Comix
Call the teacher or email her to talk to her.

Email! Email! Leave a "paper trail" so the teacher can defend herself against this vaccuous walking ego trip who sounds like she's about to snap.

16 posted on 05/08/2006 6:27:00 AM PDT by theDentist (Qwerty ergo typo : I type, therefore I misspelll.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section of the "old" SAT (when there were just two sections, math and verbal) as a f*cking eighth-grader, which is better than ninety-seven percent of college-bound seniors, for f*ck's sake!

I would never have guessed this based upon her apparently limited vocabulary.

17 posted on 05/08/2006 6:30:03 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: PJ-Comix

seeing how it was on dummies..I was waiting for her to blame Rove or Bush or diebold or any GOP..something new to hate I guess..she is still young..


18 posted on 05/08/2006 6:30:11 AM PDT by BerniesFriend
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To: theDentist

Between this thread and the one with the DUmmie trying to get a fast food job...

it seems like the vast majority of dummies are kiddies still haven't graduated school yet and haven't had a taste of the real world. Makes sense.


19 posted on 05/08/2006 6:30:25 AM PDT by noobiangod
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To: PJ-Comix

top 20! maybe!


20 posted on 05/08/2006 6:30:48 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (TRY JESUS. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back.)
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