Posted on 04/05/2005 6:55:44 AM PDT by writer33
In a Counterjab exclusive, we’re reporting that MoveOn.org is planning to fight the Christian Right. After their ‘in your face’ victory to Jesus freaks in federal and state courts, MoveOn is mobilizing their members to keep the tide turned.
“Now listen here,” said our source, known only as Deep Colon. “We’re not advocating violence. We’re just standing up to the fascism and tyranny of Cheney’s jackboots and his administration.”
The Christian right’s outrage over the Terri Schiavo case and other court decisions has lead to members of Congress in a veritable showdown with liberals judges. “We’re here to mobilize,” said Deep Colon. “That way we can get our ducks in a row. We’re recruiting a group of volunteers armed with pies, spitballs and whip cream. If those bible-thumpers give us trouble, we’ll give it right back to them in their face.”
“Don’t get us wrong,” mentions Deep Colon. “MoveOn isn’t promoting anti-Christianity at all. We’re here to exercise our First Amendment Rights. We say no to a theocracy and we mean it!”
Deep Colon wasn’t the only one that wanted to comment. T.R. McKinney from Amesbury, MA, had this to say: “One of the most disturbing trends is the political force being put behind fundamental Christian ‘values’, which not all Americans subscribe to because some of those values include intolerance, ignorance, and oppression,” wrote T.R. McKinney from Amesbury, MA. “I am not advocating a ‘gay rights’ campaign, but an "American rights" campaign that fights the attempt by the President and Congress to curtail the rights of certain categories of people based on outdated, unscientific and narrow-minded dogma.”
T.R. continued his rant, “We should combat the fear-mongering lies about the destruction of the family with the truth that love, in any family, is the nuclear bond. We should combat superstition with science. And we should combat the downright fascist attempt to limit the rights of certain individuals with the Constitution of the United States and enduring American values. The path of curtailing rights goes down a dark road, and it does not stop at one group of people if left unchecked, but can progress to include any envisioned enemy of the establishment. We've seen it happen before.”
It didn’t end there. William Weldon with a Ph.D in psychology from New York stated, “Many of the most powerful people in this country—from Pat Robertson to Tom DeLay to Antonin Scalia—the likely next Chief Justice of the Supreme Court—are on record as saying that America needs to be transformed into a theocratic state, ruled by the Republican Party, according to Biblical—Levitican—Law. Many ‘good’ Christians in the Bible belt are of the same mind. My sister in Kansas is among them. She and her family belong to an Orthodox Church, where they pray that God may guide and protect Our Emperor--President Bush. This is not something new that the priest simply ‘tacks on’ at the end of every Mass. But is an ancient part of the liturgy--used to bless the Christian Emperors of Rome, beginning with Constantine. When Pat Robertson and my sister's parish priest start referring to Bush as ‘the first Christian Emperor of America,’ we are talking about a vision of America that goes far beyond reversing Roe v. Wade. ‘The President of Good and Evil’ is a good place to start.”
“We’ve got to clean up these holly-rollers,” said a spokesman from Ted Kennedy’s office. “The first place to start is Free Republic and those icky Christians.”
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And so the story gets even more interesting.
Perhaps some of our most out spoken Libertarians will find a new home with Moveon.org. (I say let them go stir the pot with the moveon folks.)
And yes, I get it! :]
Chris, did you really get that quote from "The Swimmer's" office?
PS. I forgot about the book! On it's way in the AM!
I think Kennedy's spokesman said "I wish Christians would take a long drive off of a short pier."
Bring it on...I welcome the fight...MUD
BTTT!!!!!!
This conservative libertarian aint going nowhere. I'll continue to vote republican till the democrats come up with something worth voting for and from the looks of it republicans will be in office for a looong time.
Parody.
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LOL!!
Consider yourself added.
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