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Michael Schiavo in Hell (a play in one paragraph)
The Right Coast ^ | 3/31/05 | Tom Smith

Posted on 04/01/2005 5:58:46 PM PST by Dixielander

Michael Schiavo in Hell (a play in one paragraph) By Tom Smith

MS: Where am I? Gosh it is so hot here! Man with No Eyebrows: But I think you will agree it is a very dry heat. MS: Dry! I'll say! I'm so thirsty! I don't think I've ever been so thirsty! MNE: Just you wait. MS: What? MNE: You said you were thirsty? MS: So thirsty . . . MNE: Would you like some nice, cool water? MS: Please! MNE: Let me just check outside. (Goes to door.) Why, how curious. There are hundreds of people out here trying to bring you water. Would you like a cup? MS: Oh yes! MNE: Cold water or warm? MS: Cold! I don't care! MNE: You know, I think we actually have a procedure to determine whether I can give you any water. I don't think I'm permitted to give you water just because you're thirsty! We have rules, you know. MS: Rules? MNE: Oh, yes. Rules and rules. MS: Well, who do I have to ask? MNE: Oh, judges. We have lots of judges here. You may recognize some of them. MS: I don't have time for that! MNE: Trust me. You do. MS: All I want is some water, for Christ's sake! MNE: (Wincing) Please don't swear. (Years later . . . ) MS: Water. Water. I'm so thristy . . . MNE: Oh, look! A package! It seems to be a crate of chilled Evian water sent by Terri and her parents. Do you remember them? MS: Water? Water! Water! MNE: I would let you have some, but that would violate the temporary restraining order issued before the 99th interlocutory appeal to the 666th Circuit. If there's one thing we don't permit around here, it's contempt of court. (Sipping.) Mmmmm. I don' t really prefer Evian. I think it tastes a little soapy or something. Still, it is nice and cold. MS: Water! Huhnnnnnhuuuhhh! MNE: What are you saying, Michael? You seem a little inarticulate. Well, I suppose I know what you really want. You really want to follow the law, right? I knew it. And believe me, just as soon as I am permitted to do so, I will give you a nice big gulp of water, if there's any left, that is! Alas, I must toddle. I must go to visit your attorney. He's right next door, you know!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: crueltytoanimals; euthanasia; florida; georgefelos; greer; hell; judges; michaelschiavo; poeticjustice; terrischiavo; thedyingprocess; thirst; water
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To: Dixielander

If they ever hand out Ice Man awards Schiavo will have no problem winning.


21 posted on 04/01/2005 8:10:07 PM PST by Reaganwuzthebest
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To: Reaganwuzthebest

I wonder how Michael spent his first full day as a widower.


22 posted on 04/01/2005 8:30:01 PM PST by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: Dixielander
There's a new Carnack the Magnificent quip:

May the ACLU control your feeding tube.

23 posted on 04/01/2005 9:02:48 PM PST by det dweller too
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To: Ciexyz
"I wonder how Michael spent his first full day as a widower."

Methinks, booking a flight to Switzerland."

24 posted on 04/01/2005 9:32:19 PM PST by oprahstheantichrist
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To: Chuck N
"The clever ones aren't so clever, they've convicted themselves."

Once the devil's done using youfor whatever you've sacrificed, he discards you like old fishwrap, and whatever promises he made are just lies. Remember Judas Iscariot. In Gibson's "The Passion," the "children" that teased him represented the torment of demons.

25 posted on 04/01/2005 9:38:14 PM PST by oprahstheantichrist
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To: oprahstheantichrist

How long will it take Michael to apply for a marriage license to wed the girlfriend?


26 posted on 04/01/2005 9:39:19 PM PST by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: Ciexyz
"How long will it take Michael to apply for a marriage license to wed the girlfriend?"

If Jodi's smart, she'll grab the kids and run as fast as she can before it's too late. Who else does he have to bully now?

27 posted on 04/01/2005 9:42:43 PM PST by oprahstheantichrist
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To: oprahstheantichrist

I want to see one final media photo of Michael solemnly carrying that little urn of ashes.


28 posted on 04/01/2005 9:48:32 PM PST by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: oprahstheantichrist

I had that thought too. Michael's a cruel man. Now that Terri's no longer around for him to abuse, Jodi could be in real danger. (Even a couple of Terri's nurses said that one reason they were afraid to anger Michael was because he'd take his anger at them out on Terri. If that's true, then I have to wonder how many times might he have taken any anger he had towards Jodi out on Terri too?)

If Michael really did beat and strangle Terri until she was brain-damaged, then he has no self-control at all and could easily snap again.

Plus, I suspect that Jodi "knows too much". If she ever does decide to leave, she'd better just disappear without telling him first and make sure he never finds her.

It's hard to have much sympathy for her, though. I suppose it's possible she may have believed his version of the story in the beginning then by the time she found out how cruel he was, she was already too afraid of him to leave. Or maybe she's just as cold and selfish as he is and they deserve each other. I don't know. Either way, she should've never shacked-up with a married man to begin with. Their 2 kids are the only ones I really feel sorry for now.


29 posted on 04/01/2005 10:34:12 PM PST by schmelvin
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To: Dixielander; devolve; Grampa Dave; MeekOneGOP; potlatch; ntnychik; ALOHA RONNIE; valleygal; ...

Quick--get over here--gasping for breath--


30 posted on 04/01/2005 10:50:45 PM PST by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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Comment #31 Removed by Moderator

To: Ciexyz
I wonder how Michael spent his first full day as a widower.

Pretending that he cared. He's as phony as they come.

32 posted on 04/02/2005 5:51:22 AM PST by Reaganwuzthebest
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To: Dixielander

Great fun, fine job!


33 posted on 04/02/2005 6:28:31 AM PST by T'wit (Liberalism reduces America from a Shining City on a Hill to a fetid slum in a fever swamp)
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To: Ciexyz
I wonder how Michael spent his first full day as a widower.

Sneaking a peek at Jodi Centonze's bank book and buying a new supply of insulin.

34 posted on 04/02/2005 6:33:53 AM PST by T'wit (Liberalism reduces America from a Shining City on a Hill to a fetid slum in a fever swamp)
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To: PhilDragoo; Arthur Wildfire! March; Dixielander
Wow!! Thanks.

35 posted on 04/02/2005 8:24:17 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: Ciexyz
I want to see one final media photo of Michael solemnly carrying that little urn of ashes.

Our silly local newspaper printed the story of Terri's death as "Terri was cradled in the loving arms of her husband with flowers and music in the room. She was holding a stuffed animal in her arms." How sick! He wouldn't allow her music or flowers or sunlight or television or a teddy bear to hold or anything that would have made her life more enjoyable till it was too late for her to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. So terribly sad.

36 posted on 04/02/2005 8:58:42 AM PST by beckysueb (God bless America and President Bush.)
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To: T'wit

Isn't it amazing how in this crisis so many of our "fellow" Americans (you can have them: I don't claim them) are in mourning for the "widower" Schiavo. Lincoln was wrong: maybe you can fool all of the sheeple all of the time. Even when "the factw" are in plain view, we can't make the sheeple read and see. And many of the sheeple are "educated" in the popular sense but not in a moral or discerning way.


37 posted on 04/02/2005 9:13:54 AM PST by Theodore R. (Cowardice is forever!)
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To: schmelvin
Or maybe she's just as cold and selfish as he is and they deserve each other.

I think this is the most likely explanation. With the Schiavos, the old adage about "likes" repelling each other may be false. Watch over the next week or too and see if this "jail nurse" reports back to work. If he doesn't, we know there were immediate funds, not just the allure of longer-range "estate rights" he will now so covet.

38 posted on 04/02/2005 9:16:54 AM PST by Theodore R. (Cowardice is forever!)
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To: Dixielander
MS: Water! Huhnnnnnhuuuhhh! MNE: What are you saying, Michael? You seem a little inarticulate.

Inarticulate? That's because words cannot begin to capture the serenity, calmness, and yes, even ecstasy he must be feeling in his grave and dire thirst.

39 posted on 04/02/2005 9:20:45 AM PST by JCEccles (If Jimmy Carter were a country, he'd be Canada.)
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To: beckysueb
"Terri was cradled in the loving arms of her husband with flowers..in the room"

I see with my mind's eye a picture of lovely flowers resting in gracefully designed vases filled with water.

40 posted on 04/02/2005 9:39:58 AM PST by JCEccles (If Jimmy Carter were a country, he'd be Canada.)
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