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I NEED YOUR BAD JOKES!
none ^
| now
| me
Posted on 09/14/2002 9:01:38 PM PDT by Big Guy and Rusty 99
Hey All,
I need all the bad jokes you can think of . . . I am being forced to do 5 minutes or so standup on the radio show I work on. (She says she doesn't want me to do it anymore, but I have a feeling she'll spring it on me again.)I want to bomb badly. It's an Andy Kaufman thing.
Thanks,
BG & R 99
TOPICS: Heated Discussion
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A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Minister, and a Jewish Rabbi and I are sitting in a Greek eatery. We all want a leg of lamb, but there's only one leg of lamb left. All the sudden this Buddist Monk disguised as a bush . . .
It only goes to show you that a leg of lamb is worth two in the bush.
(I stole this from The Dark Backward movie. Even I couldn't come up with a joke this bad.
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
Here's one: Bill Clinton.
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Minister, and a Jewish Rabbi and I are sitting in a Greek eatery. We all want a leg of lamb, but there's only one leg of lamb left. All the sudden this Buddist Monk disguised as a bush
and steals the leg of lamb. . .
It only goes to show you that a leg of lamb is worth two in the bush.
oops!
To: Conservative til I die
one liners don't count.
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
You wouldn't believe how flat chested my girlfriend is. I told her the other night, "Honey, you've got the smallest breasts I've ever seen"
She said, "Get off my back"
To: Conservative til I die
LOL~ and Janet Reno...
6
posted on
09/14/2002 9:04:35 PM PDT
by
Bad~Rodeo
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
What do you call an Afghan with a dog?
A vegetarian.
What do you call an Afghan with two dogs?
A rancher.
7
posted on
09/14/2002 9:05:22 PM PDT
by
gcruse
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
How about a variation from the film Caddyshack, representing the WASP viewpoint:
Judge Smails: Say, Fred, did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy who went to heaven?
Bishop Pickering: (laughs out loud) Yeah, Judge, that's a doozy.
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
LOL
9
posted on
09/14/2002 9:05:57 PM PDT
by
gcruse
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
So this seal walks into a club.
10
posted on
09/14/2002 9:06:46 PM PDT
by
Timesink
To: Senator Pardek
I NEED YOUR BAD JOKES!Hey, Pardek!....this should be right up your alley!
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
The parking situation in San Francisco is horrific, but I finally solved it. I went out and bought a parked car.
12
posted on
09/14/2002 9:07:25 PM PDT
by
gcruse
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
Whats the first thing on a bugs mind when it hits the windsheild ?
Its ass!
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
A termite walks into a saloon and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
14
posted on
09/14/2002 9:07:34 PM PDT
by
Rocko
To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
and you wonder why you're in PA...oy vey...LOL~
To: Conservative til I die
Here's another: Libertarians!
16
posted on
09/14/2002 9:08:04 PM PDT
by
A CA Guy
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
Bartender says...."What is this...a joke?"
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
A woman walks into a bar carring a duck under her arm.
The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?"
The woman says, "This isn't a pig, it's a duck."
The bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."
18
posted on
09/14/2002 9:09:43 PM PDT
by
gcruse
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
I don't know if this is a really bad joke, but I know its a really stupid one:
Where do bees go to the potty? At the BP station. (Get it? BP. Bee pee. Tinkle, tinkle?)
To: Big Guy and Rusty 99
Found One..
20
posted on
09/14/2002 9:10:07 PM PDT
by
cmsgop
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