VIKING FOUND FROZEN IN BLOCK OF ICE, Scientists will try to revive in two weeks

WAKEHAM BAY, CANADA — A team of explorers studying glacial formations stumbled upon one of the greatest archaeological discoveries ever. They found a ninth-century Viking warrior encased in a thick wall of ice and showing no visible sign of decomposition!

“This has never been attempted before. We firmly believe that with the technology available today, it will be possible to bring this man back to life with his mental faculties fully intact,” declares lead scientist Dr. Nigel Hamm.

“The Viking sailor was preserved in an ice block. This affords us an opportunity to conduct an extraordinary scientific experiment.”

The frozen Norseman appears to have been about 25 years old when he died. The ice cavern was found 22-feet below the Earth’s surface.

“I am still in a daze over this very amazing find,” declares Dr. Hamm, head of London-based geological society stationed in Greenland that specializes in Arctic study. “He’s probably been there for the better part of 1,2000 years. But looks like he could have died 20 minutes ago.”

The bearded warrior has dressed appropriately for the frigid climate, wearing clothes and boots fashioned from thick, fur.

He also sports a typical Viking horned cap and leather breastplate. A leather pouch strapped around his waist bulges outward suggesting it is full.

“At first we believed that it contained good-luck trinkets from home or perhaps some caribou jerky for the journey ahead,” Dr. Hamm says.

“But after consulting experts in Viking lore, we now believe the man was probably carrying what people of his land believed were magic charms that could keep death at bay.

“Incredibly, they seem to have worked, because this Viking is in tip-top shape.

“It’s uncanny it’s like he’s more in a state of suspended animation than truly dead.”

WHERE DID HE COME FROM? Scientists believe the short, stocky Norseman was a member of a Viking expedition. They surmise he most likely had been on a hunting mission.

“Probably a snow bridge he was walking on gave way and he tumbled through a crevasse into the cavern,” the researcher says.

Viking artifacts have been found over the years in Canada and the U.S. Vikings apparently used the frozen north as a winter base.

The original page contained a response by a fact checker who reproved the story as false since he had been to Frosty Cove, and noted the missing mountains you mentioned. The EcoEnquirer thanks him for stating the obvious.

Now for the story behind the story:

Witness the headlines: “Pristine Alaskan Glacier Turns Into Tropical Wasteland.” “More Polar Bears Suffering Heat Exhaustion.” And “Dolphins Discovered Fleeing Warming Tropical Waters.” Global warming warnings intended to give you the shivers. But upon further clicking and reading, visitors to EcoEnquirer.com might think, hmm: Is the Smithsonian Institution really buying up virgin arctic sea ice on the black market? Did attention-weary penguins actually chase bewildered researchers back onto their ships? And what’s this about the EPA mandating a reduction in emissions from … volcanoes? Somewhere, former NASA scientist Roy Spencer is laughing. The 50-year-old PhD dreamed up the spoof site – sort of the Onion meets the Weather Channel – because he thinks people are overreacting to the threat of climate change. Now a principal research scientist at the University of Alabama at Huntsville, Spencer says human activities have “likely” contributed to climate change, but he argues “since we do not understand natural climate fluctuations, we don’t really know how much, quantitatively, of the present warmth is man-made versus natural.” Spencer describes his Web site as “a spur-of-the moment effort that resulted from the increasing number of news stories that quoted people who blamed global warming for events such as tsunamis and the latest flood, drought or hurricane. … Also, I have a somewhat twisted sense of humor, and the Web site gives me an additional creative outlet.

” - https://www.heraldnet.com/news/scientist-spoofs-global-warming/

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