Free Republic 2nd Qtr 2024 Fundraising Target: $81,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $36,694
45%  
Woo hoo!! And we're now over 45%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless.

Keyword: satire

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Senate Tax Legislation May Delay Corporate Tax Cut [semi-satire]

    11/10/2017 7:30:10 PM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Nov 2017 | John Semmens
    Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell expressed concerns that the House proposal to make corporate tax cuts take place immediately "has sparked apprehension among our Democratic colleagues that such precipitous action would put their Party's candidates at an unfair disadvantage during the 2018 election. They fear that the repatriation of corporate money currently held outside the country that such a tax cut would initiate would lead to too big of an increase in investment and jobs and that it would essentially ensure a Republican sweep of all competitive races for House and Senate seats." "Rather than tilt the playing field against...
  • Antifa mix: Dumbass for Trump (barf)

    11/10/2017 12:06:36 AM PST · by Eleutheria5
    You Tube ^ | endtimes production
    The lead song in the mix is revealing, as well as the titles of the later selections, which I haven't listened through, but the titles are enough. Woody Guthrie, it seems, knew all about Trump even though he died while Donald was in knee pants.
  • NYC Jihadi Pleased with Himself [semi-satire]

    11/07/2017 9:54:55 AM PST · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Nov 2017 | John Semmens
    New York City attack suspect Sayfullo Saipov professed himself “pleased with the outcome of my holy jihad against the unbelievers. I could have slain more if it hadn’t been for the interference of the bus and getting shot by the police, but eight is a respectable count. Luckily, one of those I killed was a Jew. I will get extra benefits in paradise for that. If every Muslim could slay as many unbelievers as I have all religions except for Islam would be erased from the Earth.” John Miller, deputy New York police commissioner for intelligence, said “Saipov appears to...
  • Commentary: Donald Trump is done

    11/06/2017 11:08:49 AM PST · by upchuck · 80 replies
    Chicago Trib ^ | Oct 30, 2017 | Garrison Keillor
    When his old campaign manager was indicted Monday, Mr. Trump called me on the phone, crying like a baby, and begged me to endorse him. I said, "You're already president, Mr. President. You were elected." He said, "I'd still like your endorsement." I have a recording of the phone call. It's so sad. Donald Trump is done. He couldn't get elected dogcatcher in New York, his hometown. I was very very nice about it. Very nice. But New Yorkers love dogs and he does not. There are 14 recorded instances of him kicking small dogs, and I have documentary proof...
  • Candidate Discovers She’s Black [semi-satire]

    11/06/2017 9:44:57 AM PST · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Nov 2017 | John Semmens
    Noted Native-American fabulist Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) made an early bid to lock up the Black vote for a prospective 2020 presidential run by discovering that in addition to being part Cherokee she is also part Black. “Just this last week I was told by a ninth cousin that our great-great-great grandmother was a slave who was serially raped by John Calhoun back in the 1850s and bore him more than a dozen children,” Warren told a Black audience earlier this week. “I am proud to say that I am one of the descendants of one of those children.” The...
  • Clinton Assails Trump’s ‘Lack of Empathy’

    11/05/2017 1:19:34 PM PST · by John Semmens · 33 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Nov 2017 | John Semmens
    Failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton lambasted President Donald Trump for his “lack of empathy” following the New York City terror attack that killed eight people. “Calling the unfortunate man who was driven to make this attack an ‘animal’ and demanding he face the death penalty was so cruel and callous,” the former Secretary of State asserted. “Where was the sympathy for a man wrested from his native Uzbekistan and thrust into an America teeming with the unbelievers that his faith commands him to kill?” She went on to contrast “Trump’s bloodthirsty desire for vengeance with the kindness and compassion shown...
  • Sessions Recuses Himself Again [semi-satire]

    11/04/2017 11:20:18 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Nov 2017 | John Semmens
    Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a small group of congressmen that he can't open an investigation nor name a special prosecutor to look into the corruption surrounding 2010's Uranium One deal because he has, once again, recused himself. As Sessions explained, "any person involved in any investigation must have no prior knowledge of the parties likely to be under scrutiny. Well, I have prior knowledge of Mrs. Clinton, President Obama, Robert Mueller, and James Comey—each of whom has fingerprints all over that uranium thing. You see, it's like a juror being discharged if he knows any of the participants in...
  • 2016 Democratic Primaries Rigged [semi-satire]

    11/03/2017 11:05:12 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Nov 2017 | John Semmens
    This week, an excerpt from former Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Donna Brazile's forthcoming book asserted that the DNC conspired with Hillary Clinton to rig the Party's primary system to cheat Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders out of the presidential nomination. Ironically, Brazile lost her gig at CNN when Wikileaks revealed that she abetted the cheating by giving Hillary Clinton an advance peak at debate questions. Brazile expressed shock that in exchange for a $20 million cash payment, the DNC under her predecessor Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Fla) sold controlling interest to Hillary Clinton. "I don't know whether that was illegal, but it...
  • Dear Mr President, GIVE UP!!

    11/03/2017 10:27:45 AM PDT · by eyeamok · 27 replies
    vanity | 11/3/17 | self
    Mr President, enough is enough, we have heard from FDBI Director Comey, AG Lynch, President Obama, Mr Mueller, Mr Rosenstein, Mrs Clinton, almost the entire Democrat Party, Most of the Leadership of the Republican Party, the Entire Main Stream Media, ALL OF THEM swear up and down that regarding Hillary's emails and the Uranium One deal that It has ALL been Debunked and previously investigated. There is Nothing There, everybody you are asking to investigate these allegations have ALL declared that NO Crimes were committed, Nothing shady happened, there were NO Nefarious deals, Nothing. Everything is on the up and...
  • Mueller Strikes Out; Democrat Nuts And Never Trumpers Hardest Hit

    11/02/2017 4:25:21 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 23 replies
    Townhall.com ^ | November 2, 2017 | Kurt Schlichter
    Note: This is satire. It is critical to point that out because it’s 2017 and it’s hard to tell. None of this actually happened, but it totally could have.                       Robert Mueller, the fatally conflicted Special Counsel in charge of the Russian collusion snipe hunt, just came out with his indictments, and there has been a lot of confusion among the lunatics, weirdos, and 23-year-old internet pundits who make up his fan base. They’ve been leveraging their extensive federal court experience, which consists of having heard that federal courts are a...
  • Obama Briefed on Uranium One Scandal [semi-satire]

    10/30/2017 10:40:45 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    The confidential informant recently released from the non-disclosure agreement forced on him by the Obama Administration Department of Justice passed on evidence that Russian nuclear officials were engaged in bribery, kickbacks, extortion, and money laundering to his FBI superiors for inclusion in President Obama’s daily briefing. A $500,000 share of the bribes went into the pocket of former President Bill Clinton as a “speaking fee” and $145 million went to the Clinton Foundation in the form of “donations” from principals who profited from the sale of 20 percent of the U.S. uranium supply to a firm owned by the Russian...
  • Evidence Obama Administration Discriminated Against Conservatives [semi-satire]

    10/29/2017 10:58:34 AM PDT · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    This week evidence of a comprehensive policy of illegal discrimination by the Obama Administration against conservatives emerged on two fronts. First was the discovery of an internal IRS email outlining an intentional plan to obstruct Tea Party organizations from obtaining tax-exempt status for educational activities. An April 1, 2011 email from Elizabeth Kastenberg, an official in the agency's exempt organizations division, confirmed that "these cases are held back primarily because of their political party affiliation rather than specifically any political activities." The IRS also illegally colluded with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) to crack down on conservative nonprofits during the...
  • Salacious Smear of Trump Funded by Dems [semi-satire]

    10/28/2017 10:39:48 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    After a year of trying to hype the Fusion GPS “dossier” on Donald Trump into alleged “proof” of his illicit collusion with Russia the Democrats have seen the escapade backfire big time. An expose in the Washington Post, of all places, disclosed that the Democratic National Committee paid up to $9 million for the political hit piece. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, chair of the DNC at the time these payments were made, and Hillary Clinton, Democratic candidate for president at that time, both denied any knowledge of the payments. Clinton pointed out that “we spent a billion dollars on the campaign. In...
  • UK Law Enforcement Shift Spurs Soaring Crime Rate [semi-satire]

    10/27/2017 5:25:18 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    The shift of law-enforcement focus from "ordinary crimes" to "hate crimes" has coincided with a surge of 19% in violent crime, 22% in rapes, and, surprisingly, given the country's strict gun-control laws, 27% in crimes committed by firearm-toting thugs. While budgetary concerns have had a role in the reduced arrest records (down 48% over the last nine years) the shift of emphasis toward cracking down on "hate crimes" is also a factor. In London, arrests for "offensive comments" are up by 53% in the last year. A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police explained that "in our view, a hateful comment...
  • DNC Purges Bernie Supporters [semi-satire]

    10/24/2017 12:30:09 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    Citing the “need to avoid a repetition of last year’s Seth Rich problem,” Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez announced the ouster of officials aligned with former presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders (Vt). The vacancies will be filled with Hillary Clinton supporters, much like Special Counsel Robert Mueller staffed his investigation of Trump’s alleged collusion with Russia investigation with Clinton supporters. DNC spokesperson Michael Tyler maintained that the replacement of Sanders supporters with Clinton supporters was “coincidental. The more important goal was to get a better racial mix among those on the committee. We’re proud to say that the number...
  • Bombshell: The Bush Conspiracy Exposed

    10/24/2017 6:11:19 AM PDT · by Hojczyk · 32 replies
    Powerline ^ | October 23,2017 | Steven Hayward
    From: Karl Rove To: Condi, Dick, Bill K. Cc: The Entire Bushoisie, Shrubs and All Re: Threats to The Plan Everyone: I am concerned that our Secret Plan to make liberals love George W. Bush, and thus pave the way for a hereditary dynasty of Jeb, George P. Bush, Jenna Bush Hagar (how sweet it will be when she thrashes Chelsea in the 2032 general election!), and lesser shrubs for the next four generations is starting to unravel. To be sure, Trump is doing his part admirably. Everyone has been fooled up to now that his “low energy Jeb” attack...
  • Schumer Advises Red-State Dems to Hide Views on Guns [semi-satire]

    10/23/2017 12:11:29 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    enate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) advised Party colleagues facing a tough reelection fight in states carried by Trump last November to mute criticism of gun ownership ahead of the 2018 mid-term balloting. “We all agree that we need more restrictions on gun ownership,” Schumer conceded. “But if too many red-state voters perceive this is our intent we could lose seats in the Senate and House. What I am urging is that we be smart. There is no need to fully reveal what we stand for, especially if it might cost votes. This is a case where an elected Democrat’s...
  • Bush Assails Culture of Bigotry [semi-satire]

    10/22/2017 10:49:34 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    Fresh off eight years of rest during the Obama Administration, former President George W. Bush decried what he called the current "culture of bigotry" in American politics. Based on the content of his remarks, the "bigotry" in question appears to be Donald Trump's characterization of Washington as a "swamp." "When a prominent member of government attacks government in this way it undermines the people's confidence in their rulers," Bush declared. "The loss of confidence creates a very real danger of disobedience toward those in charge. This is the path to anarchy." "Clearly, bringing in an outsider who knows nothing of...
  • GOP Virginia Gubernatorial Campaign Called "Racist" [semi-satire]

    10/21/2017 10:40:13 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    Republican candidate for Virginia Governor Ed Gillespie's vow to implement policies that would crack down on the notorious Latino gang known as MS-13 was dubbed "racist" by his Democratic opponent Ralph Northam. "That a man aspiring to the highest office in this state would single out these immigrants and children of immigrants is repugnant," Northam insisted. State and local law enforcement officers, however, regard MS-13 as a serious threat to the inhabitants of the communities in which they carry out their criminal depredations. Alexandria, Virginia Police Chief Earl Cook called the gang "more vicious and violent than the Mafia. Our...
  • Evidence of Russian Influence Seeps Out [semi-satire]

    10/20/2017 10:44:28 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Oct 2017 | John Semmens
    This week evidence showing Russian bribery aimed at manipulating US Government policies began to trickle into the media sphere. It seems that the State Department's 2010 decision to permit a Russian-owned uranium firm to acquire 20% of the US supply of this nuclear resource proceeded amid a flurry of donations to the Clinton Foundation. While FBI field agents uncovered the bribery trail, then Director, Robert Mueller successfully suppressed the investigation obtaining a Department of Justice (DOJ) "gag" order that is still in effect today. This past week, Senator Charles Grassley (R-Iowa), chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, called for current...