Posted on 11/06/2017 9:44:57 AM PST by John Semmens
Noted Native-American fabulist Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) made an early bid to lock up the Black vote for a prospective 2020 presidential run by discovering that in addition to being part Cherokee she is also part Black.
“Just this last week I was told by a ninth cousin that our great-great-great grandmother was a slave who was serially raped by John Calhoun back in the 1850s and bore him more than a dozen children,” Warren told a Black audience earlier this week. “I am proud to say that I am one of the descendants of one of those children.”
The Senator alleged that “this bond of blood makes me especially qualified to represent those of us who have been oppressed because of the color of our skin. I wish that I would have known of my heritage earlier in my life. I could have opened some more doors for myself. But maybe the momentum from this later realization can open the door of the White House to this belatedly aware biracial woman.”
Warren pledged to “focus on the continuing mistreatment of my people we see in our public institutions. I will work to remove math from the public school curriculum. Studies have shown that Blacks fail this subject at far higher rates than their share of the school population. In this age of computers it is a skill no longer needed to live in modern America. Likewise, I will work to free the Black men who disproportionately fill our prisons. Not acting white shouldn’t be a crime. True diversity realizes the subjectivity of values and doesn’t impose a moral code that is unsuitable for subsets of our society.”
Rev. Al Sharpton, a member of the audience Warren was addressing professed himself to be “tepidly optimistic” about her candidacy. “While I like her program I am not persuaded she would be an authentic spokesperson for Black liberation. I’m thinking maybe Michelle Obama would be a better vehicle for our message, though I do have my reservations concerning her demand that all men be neutered.”
In related news, the mysterious appearance around the country of flyers saying “it’s okay to be white” has struck terror among assorted minorities. Principal Renay Johnson of Montgomery Blair High School in Silver Spring, Maryland, said “the appearance of these flyers at our school is the most frightening incident I could have imagined ever happening here. It directly contradicts what we are trying to teach our students. The perpetrators must be hunted down and punished to full extent of what the law allows.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2017/11/04/clinton-assails-trumps-lack-of-empathy/
Warren also said that it explains why her great-grandmother had such a great recipe for fried-chicken.
lol I am a descendant of John C Calhoun ... hard to imagine being related to this moron!
and wow... John must have had some stamina !
hehe
Now what Re we supposed to call her???
And a shout out to my cousin Donna Brazile!
Re-we
Now that's funny!! LOL!!!
Thanks for the update. Was gonna add John C. Calhoun to the time-machine bucket list next to Marx and Hitler.
Now I have to find some ugly Cherokee dude.
Has she developed a fake black dialect like Hillary (or Obama)?
That always goes over so well.
Next she’ll find out she’s also part muslim, part afghanistan, part russian, and part jewish.
Her Me-me-me-me-maw-maw?
“I was born a poor, Black child...”
Well Dems again show that they have more Snake Oil they think Blacks will buy. After all Black bought into the Dem BS that they, the DixieCrat, KKK, Segregation party, and not the Party of Lincoln are their only friend.
Bob Byrd, Gov. Wallace, Bull Connor, Fulbright, Forbus, all were Dems lets remind everyone, the Kennedy’s tapped MLK phone and had him followed, investigated.
“Getting to knooow you
Getting to know all abouuut you
Getting to like youuuu
Hoping you like me toooooo”
Sounds like someone went on ancestry dot com and got to pick which race they’d like to be.
Stupid b**ch. Stupid voters.
What a fraud.
No, but she did cite her big butt as evidence.
More patent Bullshit from the deranged senator from Taxachusetts.
Next she will “discover” a 14th great uncle was a Hispanic bull fighter in old Mexico or Argentina. Nutty as a Christmas fruitcake.
I, a Caucasian dude, was called into medical during Navy boot camp along with 3 black guys. The doc told us that we either have Sickle Cell, or Sickle Cell trait - making it a recessive trait like blue eyes or red hair. He looked at me and said “yeah, we’re going to test you again”. So, after 3 tests, all came back positive that yes, I have sickle cell trait.
/I did tell the guys, you’ve seen me in the shower guys, it’s not a surprise.
I’d have to see a DNA analysis before I’d believe any of her claims. I’ll bet we will never see any DNA analysis from her. Somehow, I just don’t believe her.
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