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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Breaks Start to Go Beto's Way in Texas Senate Race [semi-satire]

    10/21/2018 8:58:36 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    <p>This week Democratic candidate for the Texas US Senate Beto O'Rourke got a major boost when former Mexican President Vicente Fox endorsed him over his GOP rival Sen. Ted Cruz. Fox pleaded with Texas voters to back O'Rourke, saying "it's the only way to ensure that the f*cking wall is never built. The path must remain open for Mexicans to enter Texas and reverse the land-grab perpetrated in 1836."</p>
  • Let Your Colors Shine, No Matter Who Thinks That’s Racist

    10/21/2018 5:53:01 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-21-18 | MOTUS
    It was inevitable. First, “CNN's Cuomo: Trump Looked Like He Was Thinking Racist Thoughts While Talking To Kanye West” and then “NBC’s John Harwood says that President Donald Tump has added to his secret lexicon of racist dog whistles – the new addition is ‘mob.’” Or as Ed Driscoll says, if you can hear the dog whistle, you’re the dog.Anyway, as a result of the recent spate of “wokeness” concerning dog-whistle racist behavior the anti-racist statue removal program has been resumed. We simply must destroy all old white guy symbols of rational thought, as it has been deemed not only...
  • The Week in Review: A Week of Democrat/Media Narrative Epic Fails

    10/21/2018 5:07:52 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 6 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Campaign Update Week in Review (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Every week in American politics is different. They all have their ebbs and flows, their dramas, their comedies, their pratfalls and their tragedies. Typically, they all have their own narratives, the overriding major story or stories that our fake news media conspire with the Democrat Party to push into the public domain for political advantage. Sometimes, a single narrative dominates the entire week – as happened a few weeks ago with the whole Kavanaugh drama. Most of them end up being ineffective, although a few end up having legs,...
  • Hillary Mulling Another Run for Office [semi-satire]

    10/20/2018 10:30:46 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Former Clinton aide Philippe Reines says the twice unsuccessful presidential candidate is “seriously considering running against Trump in 2020. On the one hand, she’s really disappointed in how voters treated her in 2016. They had their chance to elect the smartest woman in America to be their president, but they blew it. On the other hand, her great love for the country may drive her to once again sacrifice her own personal comfort in one more battle to save the nation from the ravages of the Trump Administration and the Republican Party.” “She's concerned about the Trump agenda of fostering...
  • From ACT to NPC and You Get AOC

    10/20/2018 7:01:41 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 8 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-20-18 | MOTUS
    Q. In a country where every year the percentage of high school graduates deemed “college ready” declines do we continue to promote the concept that everyone should go to college?Bad news reported in the WSJ: ACT Scores Show Drop in College Readiness, Especially in Math. As usual, math and science hit hardest. A greater percentage of U.S. high-school graduates who took the ACT college-entrance exam aren’t ready for college-level coursework, with math readiness at a 14-year low. Reading that awkward sentence makes me think English scores might not be so far behind. Oh wait! "Readiness in English has also been...
  • When Migrants are Really Crisis Actors, All Hell Tends to Break Loose

    10/20/2018 5:01:18 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 13 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Pretty sure this girl just isn’t right in the head. – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the middle midget Democrat who is going to represent the Bronx in congress after this election, is back the news for saying something incredibly stupid again. Because of course she is. At a campaign event on Friday, Ms. Cortez, advocated we mobilize our entire economy to fight “global warming” (she doesn’t even know that the scammers want her to call it “climate change” these days) because it is an “existential threat” just like the Nazis. I swear I don’t make this stuff up: “So, when we talk...
  • Senator Touts DNA Proof of Cherokee Heritage [semi-satire]

    10/19/2018 9:37:10 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 15 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    This week, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) made a big show of unveiling results of a DNA test she asserted "proves my Cherokee heritage" and demanded "an apology and a million dollars" from President Trump, who had previously offered the sum for proof of the Senator's Indian heritage. Observers from various segments of the political spectrum were not as impressed as Warren had anticipated. The test was conducted by a personal friend, not an independent lab. No Cherokee DNA was involved in the test, samples from Mexico and Peru were used instead. The results indicated that the range of possible relationship...
  • FLOTUS Friday Fluency

    10/19/2018 5:48:55 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-19-18 | MOTUS
    The week in FLOTUS: Melania and PDJT visited areas ravaged by Hurricane Michael, No word yet on whether MSM approved of her jacket and footwear on this trip. But they did bash the President for leaving her standing in the rain when he came over to answer the questions he was shouting at him.Fortunately Melania, unlike snowflakes, doesn’t melt in a little rain. And of course they would have criticized the President more had he not come over to answer the questions they were shouting at him.Next FLOTUS was off to Pittsburg to speak at a conference of the Neonatal...
  • I Am Shocked – Shocked! – To Learn of Democrat Voter Fraud Happening in Texas!

    10/19/2018 4:51:36 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 18 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Texas Democrats everywhere are wondering why this is a problem as they write down names off of tombstones to get them registered, too. – The Texas Democrat Party has allegedly been sending out voter registration cards to illegal immigrants with the citizenship box already checked “yes”, according to multiple complaints filed with the Texas Secretary of State’s office. Even better, according to the report in this Washington Times, “The applications were pre-addressed to elections officials, which is likely what left many voters to believe they were receiving an official communication from the...
  • BREAKING — Jackie Gleason To Be Removed From The Honeymooners! (Satire)

    10/18/2018 2:52:36 PM PDT · by rexthecat · 32 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | October 18, 2018 | Editorial Board
    VEN (HOLLYWOOD) — Chanting Fat Man Bad and Justice For Alice, scores of angry Social Justice Warriors — many dressed as vaginas, diaphragms, and ligatured fallopian tubes — marched through West Hollywood Wednesday calling for an end to male cis-gendered institutionalized comedic violence against women.
  • Meme Of The Decade

    10/18/2018 6:15:48 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 37 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-18-18 | MOTUS
    If Janice the Elder – God rest her soul – were still with us we would have been schooled on this 4chan phenomenon months ago. Gamers were the first to note the birth of the NPC meme, understand and advance the reference. As it is now running the internet - and I note some of you have posted some of the funnier memes here for our enjoyment - it is time we school ourselves thoroughly.In a nutshell ‘NPC’ stands for non-player character – as in a video game. They serve as bots, programed with algorithms to provide canned responses...
  • The Media and Pollsters are Getting Cold Feet on this Whole “Blue Wave” Thing

    10/18/2018 4:54:41 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 14 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) This is really not a good look for any Pope. – This happened yesterday. I have no idea what to say about it, other than that just happened: View image on Twitter View image on Twitter Massimo Valicchia @mvalicchia Pope Francis talks with director Michael Moore during his weekly general audience, in St.Peter's Square, at the Vatican #vatican #popefrancis #michaelmoore #religion #fahrenheit119 #director #hollywood #talks #americandirector #nikond7500 #nikon200500 #n… https://ift.tt/2pUxXFD 6:36 AM - Oct 17, 2018 115 566 people are talking about this Twitter Ads info and privacy Why do we have...
  • UK Government Eyeing Pizza Regulations [semi-satire]

    10/17/2018 10:12:05 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    In a move to combat what it calls an “obesity epidemic,” Public Health England (PHE) is crafting rules to limit the size and number of toppings on pizzas. Dr Alison Tedstone, PHE chief nutritionist, promised that “our efforts will go beyond merely requiring restaurants to add healthier options to their menus. The real problem in our view is that customers could still choose unwisely. If we strictly control what can be offered we can eliminate unhealthy choices so that the consumer cannot make an unwise choice.” Public Health Minister Steve Brine said the Government was “willing to do whatever it...
  • “I Refuse To Be Victimized By Notions of Virtuous Behavior”

    10/17/2018 5:53:17 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-17-18 | MOTUS
    He says there's no doubt about it It was the myth of fingerprints I've seen them all and man They're all the same - You Can Call Me Al, Paul Simon When the left embraced relativism I knew we were in trouble. Now I see how much trouble. If the New Democratic Socialists get their way 2018 will be the year that evidentiary rules are eliminated from America’s pesky judicial system. The NDS don’t feel you should have to produce evidence to substantiate your claims. After all, “my truth” is what counts. They don’t really believe in absolute truths...
  • As the Mid-Terms Approach, Robert Mueller Continues to Close up Shop

    10/17/2018 5:09:01 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 12 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) With debates like this, who needs debates? – The only truly notable thing about last night’s debate between Ted Cruz and Irish Bob O’Rourke was the persistent gleam of Richard Nixon-like sweat that clung to the Irishman’s face throughout the festivities. O’Rourke led off with a line reminding the audience about the “Lyin’ Ted” nickname that Donald Trump had tagged Cruz with during 2016, but Cruz neutralized that by noting that that tactic was used no doubt on the advice of O’Rourke’s pollsters, which is no doubt true. Naturally, that did not...
  • Dem Bill to Limit Health Options Fails [semi-satire]

    10/16/2018 10:42:54 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    A bill aimed at preventing consumers from choosing health insurance plans that better fit their needs was introduced in the Senate by Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY). If passed, the bill would overrule President Trump's executive order expanding options beyond the limited list of expensive choices mandated under Obamacare. Schumer complained that "the freedom President Trump injected into federal health care policy allows healthy individuals to choose insurance that is suited to their own needs, regardless of the needs of other, less healthy individuals. As Trump would have it, people who don't want to pay for coverage they don't need...
  • The Strange Case of the Undead

    10/16/2018 5:58:41 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 10 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-15-18 | MOTUS
    Things get curiouser and curiouser in the possible abduction and murder of Washington Post Muslim Brotherhood reporter. Here are a few questions I still have about the whole situation: Is Khashoggi really dead? If so, who dunnit, and if it was the Saudis, why did it require a 15 man assassin team? Why did the WaPo have a Muslim Brotherhood reporter on staff? Are we to believe our Turkish ‘allies’ or our Saudi ‘allies’? Who’s trying to start WWIII? And while the answers may be interesting they won’t help us choose sides. As Spengler points out, there are no good...
  • Elizabeth Warren’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

    10/16/2018 4:31:53 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 39 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) This is what the Creepy Porn Lawyer calls a “moral victory.” – Monday was not a good day for Creepy Porn Lawyers, specifically, the nation’s most infamous Creepy Porn Lawyer, Michael Avenatti. You know, the guy who thinks he’s going to be the Democrat Party’s presidential nominee in 2020. Don’t laugh – he’s such an outright fraud that he just might get there, because we all know how Democrat voters love to nominate frauds for the presidency. Think about it. Yesterday, fresh off of making a national laughingstock of himself for putting...
  • Fusion GPS Founder to Take 5th [semi-satire]

    10/15/2018 11:44:15 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Amid a rising tide of evidence implicating his firm in a conspiracy to rig the 2016 presidential election and the subsequent post-election attempted deep-state coup, Fusion GPS founder Glenn Simpson says he will invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination if Congress insists that he testify before the House Judiciary Committee. Working at the behest of the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign, Fusion GPS paid former British spy Christopher Steele to compile a dossier of unverified salacious allegations that was meant to torpedo Trump’s chances of winning the 2016 election. When the dossier failed to produce the desired election outcome it...
  • The Meme the Gaming Community Created to Label SJW’s Is Pretty Brilliant

    10/15/2018 7:11:58 AM PDT · by MNDude · 43 replies
    If you’ve ever picked up a video game that features other characters that are controlled by the computer, then you’ve run into non-player characters or NPC’s. NPC’s serve a host of different functions depending on what the program you’re playing with needs them for. They’re the villagers in Skyrim, Toad from Super Mario Brothers, and the ghosts in Pac-Man. NPC’s may have dialogue, patterns, and personality, but at the end of the day, they’re just a program with pre-set behavioral patterns decided for them by a developer. Now let’s pretend we’re taking this article from the top… If you’ve ever...