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Earlier rumors Our Designee, Barack Obama, had flown in to Afghanistan on a magic carpet proved to be a bit over-optimistic;but many are sticking with their report of an Angelic Choir's presence.

The horrifying images are in. The killer shark that has been terrorizing aquatic adventurers on Long Island has been vanquished. A team of marine rescue specialists, dispatched by Governor David Patterson who declared a state of emergency from Montauk to Lake Champlain, descended upon Zach's Bay and captured the man eater before disaster ensued. EMS technicians arrived at the scene to treat panic-stricken bathers. Women screamed, children fainted, grown men cried in anguish at the sight of the monster. Maria, a 37 year old mother from Flushing, was treated for "The Vapors" and expressed the horror experienced by everyone who...

With all the publicity about the leftwing outrage over the Obama New Yorker cover, I thought I would take you back to a time when politicians actually enjoyed being comedically roasted. Specifically the roast of Ronald Reagan by Don Rickles as you can see in this VIDEO of a Dean Martin Roast of the Gipper back around 1970. And no one enjoyed the roast more than Reagan. Take a good look at Reagan's reactions to Rickles humorous jabs. The ability to laugh at oneself is a true sign of character. Take note, Barack.

Uncle Abdul and the Little Sheik - July 18th 2008 broadcast from the Old Glory Radio Hour. Special guest “Six Gun Sally”, country singing star. DEBUT

Andy says Obama is "no Jack Kennedy" HOW OBAMA BOTCHED THE "NEW YORKER COVER" ISSUE ANDY MARTIN Executive Editor ContrarianCommentary.com 'Factually Correct, Not Politically Correct' AMERICA'S #1 POLITICAL BLOG ON THE 2008 CAMPAIGN How Obama fumbled the New Yorker cover story "Senator Obama, I knew Jack Kennedy, and you're no Jack Kennedy" (NEW YORK)(July 17, 2008) One of the great lines in American political history is Senator Lloyd's Bentsen's 1988 retort to Senator Dan Quayle, "Senator, I knew Jack Kennedy, and you're no Jack Kenney." Senator Barack Obama daydreams that he's the "new Kennedy." In your dreams. The remnants of...

MAY I HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, PLEASE!!! In the absence of good material, I have opted to spend a few moments in unbridled rant… 1. Are you people really happy with the extreme lack of sincerity when it comes to political candidates? 2. Don’t tell me what “flavor” you are! I could care less if Republicrat or Demican or Greendipendent. 3. If there are no just plain-ol’ “Americans” left let’s just close the dang door and call it what it is… OVER! Today’s politicians stand there with their smug attitudes and silly self-righteous smirks on their faces and pontificate from...

I was completely flummoxed this morning when Henry started growling and snarling for a prolonged period. I was checking my email, so I wasn’t paying any attention to the world around me. Henry is not a snarler, but there he was: teeth bared, lips drawn back, ears flat, head low to the ground. Very impressive, except that he was backing up and away from…the three cats. I’ve never seen anything like it. Horus was confronting him directly—his tail was as big around as my forearm—and he was advancing! Tiger had the left flank, and Jetta the right. Henry finally hid...

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - San Francisco voters, never thrilled with George W. Bush, may give the president a parting shot in November by naming a sewage plant after him. A ballot measure aimed at deriding the Republican president by renaming the city's newest sewage plant qualified on Thursday after organizers submitted 7,168 signatures to the local Department of Elections, officials said.

The MSM brain freeze caused by that infamous New Yorker cover cartoon has finally thawed and the humorless prigs who are in the tank for Barack Obama realized that it doesn’t look good when journalists denounce other journalists for exercising their free speech rights. The Obama campaign also belatedly realized its reaction to the broad satire was “really dumb damage control,” writes Andrew Malcolm of the Los Angeles Times: It was a huge PR mistake by a campaign that doesn't make many. The denunciations by both presidential campaigns accomplished one thing: They pushed a simple cartoon to the top of...

Poll: Congress got mad hate for ya votahs.Americans have one more thing to whine about. According to a recent Zigby poll, members of Congress have never had a lower opinion of the American people. The poll indicates that for the first time congressional opinion on the people they serve has fallen to single digits. A total of eight percent of Congress members say they have a "good opinion" of the American people. Only six percent of the members surveyed said they had a "great opinion" of their constituents. "This is historic," said Raymond Zigby, who runs Zigby polls and still...

My advice to DUmmies upset over any position that Barack Obama takes is to wait a minute and he is almost sure to completely change that position. Most politicians do shift positions when it is convenient but none in my memory has ever shifted position so boldly and so quickly as Obama has for strictly pandering electoral reasons. Obama will say anything that he thinks will get him votes and then ditch that position when it becomes convenient to do so. Gun control, FISA, public campaign financing, Iraq (still flipping and flopping on that one), and a whole host...

When you're the subject of congressional questioning, no matter how much you may protest about it being a witch hunt, they'll insist it's not! Check out the latest "Geeks On Caffeine" cartoon and see just what huge liars these congressional reps are when faced with this "witch hunt" accusation! NOTE: The author has requested that you visit his web site and refrain from copying and pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,364281,00.html From FOX News: “LUCKNOW, India — He's a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he's the chairman of an Indian business school. Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman. "It...

Remember the oil hearings and the memorable quotes of the Democrat "inquisitors?" Check out this web cartoon that uses actual quotes of congressional representatives in hearings on the high price of coffee. Today's victim: Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Democrat from Florida! NOTE: The author of this comic has requested that you visit the web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

California’s Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) called drilling for more oil “too simple a solution.” “If we make fuel cheaper again, people won’t have to give up their bad habits,” Schwarzenegger claimed. “Besides, many important people own beach-front property in California. Even the slightest threat to the value of these properties would be intolerable. This is especially so if the reason is to postpone a much needed change in the way ordinary people live and travel.” The Governor proposed, instead, that California voters approve a $10 billion bond as a “down payment” on a $40 billion plan to construct high-speed passenger...

As we documented here last Friday, the DUmmie brain trust has decided to re-activate the defunct DUmmie Activist Corps. DUAC is back! Of course, EarlG's announcement of the return of DUAC, on two threads, garnered a whopping total of 29 replies. Now you see why DUAC went defunct in the first place. Nevertheless, they solicited suggestions and came up with their first DUACtion. And it's one which fits the energy and commitment level of the DUmmies. What is it? (Cue Monty Python. . . .) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM! SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM! Yes, members of the DUmmie Slacktivist...

Former President Bill Clinton (D) warned voters against electing former prisoner-of-war Senator McCain president. “POWs are not like us,” Clinton observed. “They’ve been held captive in barbaric conditions, tortured and humiliated by this country’s enemies. How can they ever be objective enough to deal with our country’s enemies as president?” Clinton argued that his evasion of military service saved him “from building up the prejudices against and hatreds for different cultures and political systems that could have compromised my ability to govern effectively. My judgment was untainted by any suffering and privation that could have biased my views. The same...

Barack Obama launched a Web site that fact-checks “smears” about him, his wife and his career. It remains to be seen whether this is an effective tactic against negative campaigning, but it certainly isn’t very funny. The New Yorker did much the same thing with its cover depicting President Obama - in full Muslim regalia - doing the “fist bump” with First Lady Michelle - sporting a ‘70s-style Afro and with an assault rifle slung over her shoulder – as the American flag burns in an Oval Office fireplace, above which hangs a portrait of Usama bin Laden. It is...

Congress will have hearings on just about anything, and the fractured logic the Democrats employ during these witch hunts would be humorous if it really didn't happen! This cartoon features a memorably stupid quote from Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz a Democrat from Florida, and one of the inquisitors from the recent Oil Hearings. Note: The author requests that you visit his web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country—if...

My guess is "Ich Bein Eine Grosse Weiner.

It was the best decision in my 62 years of professional life as a journalist. I was the Washington Times' editor in chief and looking for a new editorial page editor. Tony Snow was the first and last recommended name I interviewed. The year was 1987. ..... Tony was 32 years old. We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner the same day in a secluded beach location, away from...

Too funny! Glad i found this clip.

Monica Lewinski's ex-Boyfriend's Wife .. for President Boy does that put things into perspective!!!

House of Representatives Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said calls by Republicans to drill for more oil “is not the answer America needs.” “Making gasoline more affordable would be the exact opposite of what we need to do,” Pelosi asserted. “We need to wean the country off of its dependence on fossil fuels. We can only do this if we discourage Americans’ love affair with their cars and put an end to the frenzy of excessive and senseless driving.” In support of her contention that Americans’ driving habits are “excessive” and “senseless,” the Speaker pointed to a recent study showing that...

The BAM Racing team that offered Senator Barack Obama’s presidential campaign a potential sponsorship deal in the Sprint Cup series disclosed that the Illinois senator declined the opportunity. BAM team spokesman Rhett Vandiver said that Bill Burton, an Obama campaign spokesman told him there would be no sponsorship. “The Obama campaign will not be sponsoring a car in the Sprint Cup series,” said Burton. “Sponsorship would be interpreted as an endorsement of this mindless sport and its fans.” Burton called NASCAR a “significant source of air pollution” and labeled its fans “mostly ignorant rednecks who probably tote guns everywhere they...

This is funny, but then about half-way through you start thinking the guys that made the video may actually have some deep-seated psychological issues.

It seems like the DUmmies are completely unaware of their astounding level of hypocrisy. As we saw YESTERDAY, KOmmie (also DUmmie) heads were exploding in outrage over the New Yorker cover featuring Barack Obama and his wife. Fast forward just a few hours later and the DUmmies are expressing admiration for a New Yorker cover that made Vice President Dick Cheney look like an evil pumpkin as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Do you remember this New Yorker cover from 2007? I still have it!" No sense of irony in DUmmieland over their hypocritical reactions to these...

New York—Despite the fake birth certificate scare, and the alleged “whitey” tape, it appears that new information has surfaced, creating a possible Nagasaki for Barack Obama and his campaign. John Landenbocker, from Landenbocker Associates, is a professional genealogist that has successfully linked slave blood to former President Bill Clinton. It has reportedly taken years to discover the dark truth, but since Senator Hillary Clinton, D-NY, entered the race for President, Landenbocker was forced to ramp up his efforts.

Former professional wrestler and Minnesota Governor, Jesse “The Body” Ventura has cast his hat into the ring as an Independent candidate for the Senate seat currently held by Republican Norm Coleman. Ventura said his candidacy was mainly inspired by a desire to “body slam that smirking, obnoxious twit—Al Franken—into political oblivion.” Franken, the Democratic candidate for the seat, is perhaps best known for his years on the “Saturday Night Live” skit comedy show that has aired on NBC for over three decades. “The ‘Al Franken Decade’ was over more than 20 years ago,” said Ventura, needling the comedian for one...

But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness.

Programming for children.

40 Mules and a Cartoon: Obama demands satirical reparations!The Obama campaign is striking back after a liberal news magazine published a satirical drawing of the candidate and his wife as a Muslim terrorist and black power leader, respectively. The Obama campaign immediately asked for a satirization of Bush to be published in The New Yorker's next issue. "The Senator finds the characterization offensive and hurtful," said Gertrude Steiner, media relations expert for the Obama campaign. "He would like a drawing of Bush, perhaps drawn up like a monkey, cause that's much more funny." Steiner said that the candidate will push...

The Reverend Jesse Jackson said his offer to cut Senator Obama’s nuts off “should not be construed as, in any way, hostile to the Illinois senator’s drive to become the country’s first African-American president.” “Senator Obama is already in solid with the Black community,” Jackson pointed out. “He will get 90 percent or more of the Black vote. His big problem will be winning over former Hillary supporters. I’m just suggesting that he’d have a better chance with this demographic as a castrati.” Leslie Bianco, spokesman for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender (LGBT) Political Action Committee (PAC) said people...

Gigli, Edsel, Battlefield Earth, Corned Beef and Cabbage Pizza,  Ishtar, Waterworld, IBM PCjr, Heaven's Gate,  Tony Mandarich, Calf Liver Sherbet ... When not even a billion dollars worth of  free marketing helps OBAMA

A vicious rightwing magazine published a cover featuring militant Muslim Barack Obama and his AK-47 toting wife fisting bumping as an American flag burns in the fireplace. OOPS! It wasn't an EVIL rightwing magazine that had this cover but the very LIBERAL New Yorker magazine. But don't worry. The left will somehow manage to blame this on those wascally Republicans. Meanwhile over in KOmmieland, KOmmie heads are exploding as you can see in this THREAD titled, "The New Yorker Obama cover: OMFG, WTF?" So let us now watch the KOmmies explode in bloody Bolshevik Red while the commentary of...

Race gets snippy: Barack beats scissors. Papers cover Barack. The Reverend Jesse Jackson, leader of the Rainbow Coalition and director of United Eunuchs, wants action, not distraction, against an overpopulation of politicians. In a recent interview in the second stall of the Fox News studio bathroom, Jackson said the overwhelming number of stray politicians who are issuing Civil Rights messages should be dealt with sooner, rather than later.“There’s too much talkin’ and rappin’,” said Jackson. “And not enough happenin’. People need to see works, not words.”

Presidential candidate Senator Obama (D-Ill.), spurned an invitation from a coalition representing armed services personnel, veterans and their families to participate in a nationally televised town-hall-style meeting with the presidential candidates near Fort Hood, Texas, the largest active-duty military base in the country. Obama campaign spokesman, Ron Ehwey, characterized the planned event as “an attempted ambush by ‘hostile forces.’” “We’re leading in the polls,” Ehwey boasted. “There’s no need for our man to take this kind of risk.” Ehwey rebuffed allegations of “cowardice,” saying that “the American people need a leader who understands which risks are worth taking, not some...

The Libs at Daily Kos are going CRAZY that the left-wing New Yorker Magazine has a cover coming out with Obama in full Muslim gear and Michelle in revolutionary garb, burning an American flag in the Oval Office. It's Blue on Blue fire. I'm just sittin' here laughing.

(CNN) -- The liberal environmentalist Green Party nominated former Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney as its presidential candidate Saturday. Cynthia McKinney represented a suburban Atlanta, Georgia, district for six terms as a Democrat. Cynthia McKinney represented a suburban Atlanta, Georgia, district for six terms as a Democrat. McKinney, 53, held off three rivals to win the party's nomination during its convention in Chicago, Illinois. She picked journalist and activist Rosa Clemente as her running mate.

The United Nations is reported to be considering ordering the return of the 60 recently freed hostages of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) to their captors because “their release was obtained through deceptive and dishonest means.” “The Colombian government agents misrepresented who they were and failed to carry out the agreed upon exchange,” said UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. To carry out the rescue mission, Colombian security forces infiltrated FARC, posing as members who were ordered to transport the hostages as part of a trade for the release of imprisoned rebels. “If we let this go we run...

This shirt won a contest on Hillary's site. They received 5,000 submissions and 125,000 people voted for their favorite. Hillary says. While the primary race may be over, I think the winning t-shirt -- and it won by a landslide -- still makes a wonderful statement about everything you and I accomplished in this historic race and our determination to keep fighting for what we believe in. Hmmm. Fighting John McCain? I think she may be reminding us Obama is only the presumptive nominee. The Country Music design, here, wasn't among the finalists. Go figure.

When it comes to the elections, there's no doubt that Obama has it easier than McCain with the media. How much easier does Obama have it? Read this "Geeks On Caffeine" cartoon and see for yourself! Note: The author requests that you visit the web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

On June 26, the Stop War on Iran Campaign initiated an emergency call to action to oppose a war on Iran on the weekend of Aug. 2 and 3. A major march is being planned Aug. 2 in New York. Demonstrators will assemble at 12 noon in Times Square at 43rd Street and Broadway. Other places, inside the U.S. and worldwide, are organizing local actions.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Canada is a cultural dichotomy. We are a collection of very singular and – dare I say? – distinct peoples who have very little in common, yet are feebly tied together through pseudo-patriotic themes such as beer commercials and donut shops. Confederation, that wonderfully impossible concept of complete and total Canadian national unity, has never worked and never will. One trip to a different part of the country proves that unequivocally. That is what became apparent to me during my camping venture in British Columbia.....

Photos. The Iranian government was caught Photoshopping their tough-guy missile launch this week. Conservative blogger Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs caught it. Charles is looking at a new Iranian photo to see if it too has been altered.

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe fresh from his rigged election victory, fended off a possible move by the two-day summit of the 53-nation African Union to sanction him for murdering supporters of his opponent. In juxtaposition to the worldwide criticism he has faced, Mugabe’s argument that he was “no worse than many others in this room” hit the mark. The attendees of the meeting declined to issue any public rebuke of their colleague. Instead, his fellow leaders urged Mugabe to form a unity government with Zimbabwe's opposition. Mugabe endorsed this recommendation with enthusiasm, saying that it is fully compatible with the...

The $300 billion mortgage bill received a vote of approval in the U.S. Senate, but the rescue may not come to starving homeowners soon, largely because the House wants to change the legislation, and Bush has threatened to veto it, leaving thousands of children without a home. “When you wake up in the morning with a foreclosure,” cried Dodd, “you have to face your children and your spouse. How much longer do we need to debate? I guess long enough for people to start jumping off buildings!”

"DUAC! DUAC!" DUAC is back! Way back in July of '05, the brain trust (?) at DUmmieland created the DU Activist Corps. Of course, it went NOWHERE and did NOTHING! But now, after three years, the DUmmie Slacktivist Corpse has risen from the dead! Read about it here in this THREAD, "The Return of the DU Activist Corps," and this THREAD, "Attention activists: we need your help to restart the DU Activist Corps." DUAC is BACK!! The response must be OVERWHELMING, right? Hee! Hee! Guess again! And so now, like DUmmies in action (inaction?), let us also sit back...