Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • #IWasForItBeforeItWasn’tMyIdea

    09/18/2014 5:34:27 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-18-2014 | MOTUS
    For those who think Big Guy exhibits tendencies towards malignant narcissistic personality disorder (characterized by superficial glibness and charm, a grandiose sense of self worth, pathological lying, cunning manipulative practices, lack of remorse or guilt for problems created, a callous lack of empathy, and a failure to accept responsibility for their own actions) – and who doesn’t? – this historic montage is for you: (be sure to watch to the end)Odd, isn’t it? Here we are two years later, we still don’t know what “war” means and we’re still equivocating over the definition of “boots on the ground.” Butt at least...
  • “My orders are Boots/No Boots in the War/No War…and if you don’t like it KMA”

    09/17/2014 6:08:21 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-17-2014 | MOTUS
    I note we are still immersed in the “boots/no boots” controversy in the “war/no war” kinetic military action we are efforting against ISIS. The General said “boots” “To be clear, if we reach the point where I believe our advisers should accompany Iraqi troops on attacks against specific ISIL targets, I will recommend that to the president,” While the Commander in Chief clearly said “no boots”Depends on what the meaning of “boots” is; and “on the ground.” Press secretary Josh Earnest said the president has been “very specific and precise” about not using ground troops in Iraq or Syria, and...
  • Hump-Day Humor

    09/17/2014 3:29:40 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 17 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Senator Udall Says Debates “Not Part of My Strategy”

    09/16/2014 12:33:04 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    Sitting Senator Mark Udall (D-Colo) refuses to debate his GOP opponent Cory Gardner, saying that a proposed televised debate is “not part of my strategy for reelection.” “These live debates are such a crap shoot,” Udall groused. “You can’t carefully craft your message. You only have a few seconds to compose answers to off-the-wall questions. The risk of a misstatement is high.” Rather than endanger the major investment his campaign has made in focus group-vetted platitudes by debating, Udall expressed satisfaction with his plan to bombard voters with dinner-time robocalls. “The beauty of these is that a candidate has total...
  • Clean up on Aisle WON

    09/16/2014 5:36:00 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-16-2014 | MOTUS
    Prescient photo from 2010 h/t InstapunditFirst, Michael Goodwin’s NY Post article: He is sinking fast and could soon pass the point of no return. In fact, it may already be too late to save the SS Obama.The whole second term has been a string of disasters, with the toxic brew of his ObamaCare lies, middling economic growth and violent global breakdown casting doubt on the president’s stewardship. Six years into his tenure, nothing is going as promised. And then this heresy, from the NYTimes - which is practically our house organ! It was the time of unraveling. Long afterward, in...
  • Hillary and Obie...2017 Please Caption This

    09/15/2014 6:37:09 PM PDT · by MeshugeMikey · 15 replies
    MeshugaMikey ^ | September 15, 2014 | Vanity
  • Germany Strikes Blow Against ISIS

    09/15/2014 1:20:40 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    The German Government has decided to strike back against the ISIS reign of terror in Iraq and Syria by revoking its access to civic amenities. Included in the ban would be the total loss of privileges to use public facilities such as meeting rooms at libraries, ramadas at public parks, and participation in public parades. In addition, security personnel at sporting events will be instructed to deny admittance to anyone wearing Isis symbols including hats, t-shirts or other garb with the organization’s insignia. Defense minister Thomas de Mazière, characterized the restrictions as “a measured response. We want to give them...
  • Let’s not have this ever again…

    09/15/2014 6:05:45 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-15-2014 | MOTUS
    Since Big Guy didn’t bother to copyright his ISIS/ISIL speech, David Cameron decided to use it when he addressed the citizens of the United (temporarily) Kingdom following the beheading of British hostage David Haines. BHO: “ISIL is not ‘Islamic.’ No religion condones the killing of innocents, and the vast majority of ISIL’s victims have been Muslim,” DC: “They boast of their brutality. They claim to do this in the name of Islam. That is nonsense. Islam is a religion of peace. They are not Muslims, they are monsters.”BHO: “Our objective is clear: We will degrade, and ultimately destroy, ISIL through...
  • Armed American Radio (9-14-14)

    09/14/2014 2:27:31 PM PDT · by RandallFlagg · 3 replies
    Armed American Radio ^ | 9-14-14 | RandallFlagg
    The Armed American Radio broadcast with Mark Walters is on every Sunday 8PM Eastern, 5PM Pacific. Coming to you live from the Crossbreed Holsters Studio. Find AAR on your local stationFacebookListen LiveThe AAR iTunes podcasts are usually available the following Monday Are you sad because the GunTalk radio show with the awesome Tom Gresham ended it's last few minutes, and you have to wait a week for another firearms-related radio show to appear so you can listen? Do you crave to hear from the experts across the nation about our current problems regarding twisted politicians inflicting their anti-gun agendas on...
  • Mexican President Calls Perry Border Policy “Unneighborly”

    09/14/2014 7:44:07 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 24 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto castigated Texas Governor Rick Perry’s deployment of National Guard troops on the U.S.-Mexican border as “unneighborly. He’s like that Clint Eastwood character in Gran Torino telling my people to get off his lawn.” “For decades my people have become accustomed to the ability to pass freely between our two countries,” Peña said. “In our minds this clearly establishes an ‘easement’ right to travel over these roads and pathways. For Governor Perry to suddenly seek to terminate these rights is an affront.” Peña indicated that he plans to bring the issue up before the United Nations....
  • How’s that “Opposite World” Working Out For You?

    09/14/2014 7:10:15 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-14-2014 | MOTUS
    When your entire foreign policy has been based on asking “what would Bush do?” and pursuing the opposite, the recent turn of events must be fundamentally unsettling.One of them knows what the other doesn’t Mr. Obama’s fixation on not being Bush is the only thing the Obama team knows or understands. It is also keeping them from being able (or willing) to admit the truth about a world spiraling out of control. No matter who is standing behind a podium these days, you get the distinct feeling that no one in our federal government knows what’s happening, and all their...
  • Reaganite's SUNDAY FUNNIES

    09/14/2014 4:44:01 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 3 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 14 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Alex Jones Supports Charlie Sheen (Nutjob Alert)

    04/02/2006 3:06:39 PM PDT · by RightResponse · 74 replies · 2,365+ views
    Prison Planet ^ | March 27th | Alex Jones
    Alex Jones Comment on Sheen Statement and Challenge: Hundreds of positive and negative pieces have been written about actor Charlie Sheen's courageous stand for 9/11 truth. The pro-Sheen pieces are well written and are brimming with facts, studies and in-depth investigations by concerned, caring people who know that the official fable of September 11 is a patent fraud. Conversely, the sniveling hit-pieces are written at a snot-nosed 7th Grade level by jabbering establishment sycophants. These individuals refuse to challenge any of the facts that Charlie Sheen and others have raised concerning the 9/11 massacres. There's a reason for that: they...
  • Kerry Says Islamic State Is Not Islamic

    09/13/2014 1:08:30 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 18 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    US Secretary of State John Kerry challenged ISIL’s definition of itself and insisted that the self-proclaimed Islamic State is not, in fact, Islamic. “I studied Islam in college,” Kerry asserted. “None of the books I read or classes I took mentioned anything about beheading unbelievers or raping women. I’ll stack this up against the mutterings of an uneducated terrorist any day of the week.” Palestinian-Jordanian politician Muhammad Bayoudh Al-Tamimi disagreed with Kerry and maintained that ISIL’s “actions and words stem directly from the Quran and Sunna—two of Islam’s most sacred texts.” A spokesman for ISIL suggested that “perhaps this chattering...
  • Sarah Palin Smacks Michelle Obama In The Face At D.C. Starbucks (satire)

    09/13/2014 10:46:41 AM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 13 replies
    Merica Post ^ | 9/13/14 | Matt Alexander
    Michelle Obama has been on a snack killing tyrade in the metro D.C area for the past few days. She recently met up with Sarah Palin at a Starbucks to debate healthy snacking versus eating delicious cookies and desserts. While Sarah was ordering a cookie Michelle snatched it from her hands and tossed it into the trash. Within seconds the ever so tough Alaska native took the palm of her hand a smacked it right across Michelle’s face. ‘Merica Post reached out to Sarah Palin for comment on the small tussle. Here’s what she had to say. “Don’t you ever...
  • Press Secretary Chides Golf Clubs

    09/13/2014 10:16:44 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    The Trump National Golf Club, Winged Foot and Willow Ridge rejected requests to let President Obama play on their golf courses over the Labor Day weekend. This mightily irked Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest. “These clubs put the needs and convenience of their members ahead of the needs and convenience of the President of the United States,” Earnest charged. “It’s a clear case of misplaced priorities.” The inconveniences to golf club members would’ve been substantial. All other golfers would’ve been barred from the course while the President played through. “Where’s their sense of patriotism?” Earnest wondered. “The President is Commander-in-Chief....
  • To War Or Not To War

    09/13/2014 5:24:46 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-13-2014 | MOTUS
    To War Or Not To War – with apologies to Shakespeare’s HamletTo war, or not to war: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous opponents, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand un-natural shocksTheir flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To kill, to die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that...
  • NY Board of Elections Cracks Down on Unauthorized Speech

    09/08/2014 10:05:42 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    Concerned that “unelected persons might defame elected officials,” the New York Board of Elections has declared that no one may criticize a sitting officeholder without first forming a “political action committee.” Executive Director Todd Valentine asserted that “the notion that everyone is free to say whatever they want about members of the government is a misunderstanding of the concept of freedom of speech. If you’re talking about or to another private citizen you can say whatever you want. But if you want to criticize the governor, mayor, or a member of the legislature or city council you need to file...
  • Firm Punished for Verifying Employee's Residency

    09/09/2014 9:00:51 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    The Department of Justice has fined Culinaire International $20,000 for asking a prospective hiree to provide proof of legal residence. “Demanding that employees show proof of citizenship or legal residence in this country is discriminatory,” Attorney General Eric Holder asserted. “It explicitly contradicts the President’s expressed wishes that all applicants whether in this country legally or not be treated equal.” Holder brushed aside state laws that penalize employers for not verifying residency status as irrelevant. “The possibility that a state may sanction an employer for not conducting such a verification is not my concern,” Holder said. “The fact is Culinare...
  • Holder Says Arming Mexican Drug Cartels "Our Ace in the Hole" vs. ISIL Infiltrators

    09/12/2014 4:17:59 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 44 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    While a key part of President Obama's strategy to combat ISIL involves arming supposed enemies of that organization, a program that has previously been roundly criticized is now being bandied about as "prescient" and "visionary" by Attorney General Eric Holder. The program: "Fast and Furious." "What the President's critics have lambasted as wrongheaded and improvident is starting to look pretty good now that ISIL has vowed to infiltrate the United States via our southern border," Holder bragged. "The Mexican drug cartels are very territorial about what crosses over this border. They won't be too friendly toward ISIL actions that may...
  • Palestinian Authority Unveils Memorial To 9/11 Hijackers

    09/12/2014 12:27:40 PM PDT · by lbryce · 35 replies
    Pre Occupied Territory ^ | September 11, 2014 | Staff
    Thirteen years after nearly 3,000 people were killed in Islamic terrorist attacks on US soil, a Palestinian monument has finally been set up to commemorate the event and to honor those who died piloting the aircraft involved. A forty-foot statue of a Boeing 767-200ER crashing into a skyscraper was unveiled this morning in the square amid fanfare and speeches by political and cultural figures calling for continued resistance to Western “colonialism.” A military band played nationalist songs in praise of martyrdom while sweets were distributed to children, and attendees held aloft banners in tribute to the 19 men, mostly Saudi...
  • MOTUS Twilight Nocturne Lounge #5: Then The Morning Comes!

    09/12/2014 2:49:36 PM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-12-2014 | MOTUS
    Welcome to another evening at MOTUS’ Twilight Nocturne Lounge. If you’re a regular you know how it works. If you’re new here grab a seat and just nod at Little Mo – he’s the bartender - when you need a drink; he always knows what you want.Our featured cocktail this evening is a  Tequila Sunrise, straight up or on the rocks:Ice cubes, 1 ½ ounces tequila, 4 ½ ounces orange juice, 1 ½ teaspoons grenadine syrup. Pour the tequila and orange juice into the glass, with or without ice. Slowly pour grenadine over a bar spoon into the center of the...
  • How Many Times Do I Have to Explain “Kinetic Military Action” to You Dopes?

    09/12/2014 5:26:48 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 15 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-12-2014 | MOTUS
    Q. When is a war not a war?A. When it is a “fairly significant counter-terrorist operation” (according to Jean Carré) rather than a “war per se” (according to Josh Earnest); when our State Department rejects the “notion” of us engaging in a “war” on terrorism” (according to Marie Harf) and when the Commander in Chief says that the group calling itself the “Islamic State” is neither Islamic…nor a state; ipso fatso, we can’t declare war on it. And while we’re at it, perhaps someone can get to the bottom of this mystery too: who forgot to order the White House...
  • TGIF Toons

    09/12/2014 5:10:01 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 3 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 12 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • IKEA ridicules silly Apple commercials

    09/11/2014 12:21:45 PM PDT · by WesternCulture · 31 replies
    Just click the link below to find out what this is all about.
  • I Wonder What the Half-Life of ISIL is?

    09/11/2014 6:24:07 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-11-2014 | MOTUS
    UPDATEDLights! Cameras! Action!EEEEWWWW! Is this the best we can do!?! And what the heck is wrong with his eyes? It looks like somebody plugged some marbles into his eye sockets. And those horns! (h/t Abenaki) – where the heck did they come from - and why didn’t I see them from my vantage point!? That’s just creepy, and somewhat inscrutable; just like the speech itself. Just as with our last great Democratic President, the import of this event depends on what the meaning of IS is; specifically, on what the meaning of the IS in ISIS  is– all we know...
  • I Never Listen to the Experts

    09/11/2014 3:52:52 AM PDT · by lifeofgrace · 13 replies
    Charting Course ^ | 9/11/14 | Steve Berman
    They say I need to figure out what my readers want to read, and write that.  They say I’m supposed to get inside your heads and touch your emotions, hopes and fears.  They. You know, the experts.  People who know.  They say a lot of things.  Trouble is, I don’t listen to them.  Plus, my mind doesn’t work the same way as most people.  Really, it doesn’t. One of my few skills is writing computer programs.  I’ve been coding since I was 13, and that would warm Bill Gates’ heart, since coding is now considered a basic survival skill.  When...
  • Do Dogs Go to Heaven...?

    09/11/2014 3:09:36 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 76 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 11 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    Church-sign war!  h/t Kirby
  • Fast Food Customers Protest Workers [Satire]

    09/10/2014 11:21:25 AM PDT · by WXRGina · 8 replies
    World News Bureau ^ | September 9, 2014 | Scooter Van Neuter
    MIAMI, Florida (WNB) - Thousands of fast food customers across the nation took to the streets Monday to protest fast food employees. "These people are demanding $15 an hour, but they can't remember my fries or a freaking napkin?" asked one protester marching with a group of approximately 200 outside a Miami McDonald's. "How 'bout this, you get a quarter an hour raise when you've learned how to say 'thank you' instead of 'no problem.'" A spokesperson for a group of customers protesting outside of a Tucson Burger King summed up the feelings of many: "If I wanted to pay...
  • Harsh Words and a Little Presidential Stompy Foot

    09/10/2014 7:07:04 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-10-2014 | MOTUS
    Hoo-wee! This is shaping up to be a very long, hard week. We started with F. Chuck on Meet the Press: Care to enjoy one of those special Oval Office cigars? Sure Chief! Don’t mind if I do…And tonight, the handlers have decided that Barry will finally Face the Nation and present something that will have to pass for a thought on the existential threat presented by ISIS. Don’t expect anything too definitive, like condemnation of the Evil Empire, butt I understand there will be harsh words followed by some presidential stompy foot. You have displeased me. Harsh letter to...
  • Hump-Day Humor

    09/10/2014 3:25:01 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 7 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 10 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • They Walk Among Us: the Lighter Side of Progressives

    09/09/2014 10:07:13 AM PDT · by Oldpuppymax · 102 replies
    Coach is Right ^ | 9/9/14 | Jerry Todd
    They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail! I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I Gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the Money back… same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail! I walked into a...
  • “Reach Higher!” Hell, Why Not Go For The White House?

    09/09/2014 5:04:24 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-9-2014 | MOTUS
    I guess I’ve been a little off my game lately, butt in my defense, I hadn’t even noticed until Little Mo pointed out that I’ve been wasting a lot of valuable Ethernet time/space yacking about racist topics like ISIS/ISIL/IS/ISZ, Benghazi, IRS, Fast & Furious and how Putin is rebuilding the Soviet Union one country at a time. As a result, he reminded me that I’ve been giving short shrift to the more important issues facing our country, like renegade schools that are dumping Lady M’s “Healthy Lunch & Snack Programs.” Because kids just won’t eat them. So they’re hungry all...
  • Burgers via call center? Jack in the Box...outsourcing fast-food orders.

    09/08/2014 12:53:05 PM PDT · by WhiskeyX · 41 replies
    The Christian Underground ^ | n.d. | Craig Portwood
    Burgers via call center? Jack in the Box in Charlotte North Carolina testing process of outsourcing fast-food orders. That crackling voice taking your order at a fast-food drive-through may come from a lot farther away than the restaurant: Try Texas, or even overseas. San Diego-based Jack in the Box has tested outsourced drive-through order-taking since mid-2008 at seven of its 30 Charlotte-area restaurants. Spokeswoman Kathleen Anthony declined to specify the locations, though workers at the Cotswold restaurant in Charlotte recently said their restaurant uses the system. The technology is intended to improve speed, accuracy and service, freeing up restaurant employees...
  • Obama's Optics, Theater: Stage Left

    09/08/2014 6:50:58 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-8-2014 | MOTUS
    Good Morning: I’ve got the Chucky Cheese interview; abridged and annotated. You’re welcome. President Obama in an interview broadcast Sunday said he “should have anticipated the optics” of golfing after a statement condemning the execution of American journalist James Foley.Someone else who never quite understood the importance of optics: Chucky’s MTP predecessor Yes he was upset with himself, he’s usually so good with the optics. “It is always a challenge when you’re supposed to be President on vacation,” Obama said on NBC’s “Meet the Press.” I KNOW! Between the fundraising, the concerts, the golf, the parties, the date nights, the...
  • Goofy Russian Enemies List Heaps Glorious Hate on Madonna, Schwarzenegger, Geo Clooney, + Scorpions

    09/08/2014 12:53:37 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 9 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 08 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    57 names in all... And don't think this stuff doesn't come from the Kremlin- freelance propagandists in the Russian media (that have their nose way-up Putin's patootie) have been doing his bidding for some time now: 1) Andrei Makarevich (Mashyna Vremeni bans) 2) Alexei Navalny (opposition politician) 3) staff of “Echo of Moscow” radio station 4) collective channel: “Rain” 5) collective portal: Lenta.ru 6) Arnold Schwarzenegger (bodybuilder, actor, former California governor) 7) Ruslana (Ukrainian singer) 8) Yuri Shevchuk (DDT) 9) Nikita Dzhigurda (actor) 10) collective group “Okean Elzy” 11) collective group “Liapis Troubetzkoy” 12) Sergei Zverev (singer, stylist) 13) Deacon...
  • Biden Says Hoarders Are Retarding Economy

    09/07/2014 9:43:29 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 46 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    Citing a paper released this week by the St. Louis Federal Reserve, Vice-President Joe Biden blamed American consumers for the sluggish economy. “The government is doing everything it can to try to stimulate the economy,” Biden contended. “The federal government is spending every dollar it can get its hands on. The Federal Reserve is manufacturing new dollars at an unprecedented pace. But consumers are just sitting on their cash.” “Hoarding cash makes no sense,” the Veep argued. “The dollar’s purchasing power is being diluted on a daily basis by government policies. Spending your dollars before they lose even more value...
  • Promises Made; Promises Unkept.

    09/07/2014 8:09:03 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-7-2014 | MOTUS
     “Hey, I’m doing the best I can; if you think you have a better strategery, let’s hear it.”So here’s the deal, Dreamers; you can’t hold it against el Presidente for not being able to keep his June promise of amnesty comprehensive immigration reform: In a Rose Garden statement June 30, Obama said he had given up on congressional action and had instructed top aides to deliver recommendations to him about what steps he could take to remake border control policies on his own."If Congress will not do their job, at least we can do ours," the president said that day....
  • Tick One Off the Bucket List: The Sun God Cometh

    09/07/2014 6:45:17 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 13 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-6-2014 | MOTUS
    I have to catch an early flight so I leave you to figure out on your own: why did Big Guy really go to Stonehenge yesterday? He said it was because it was on his bucket list.Butt it seems an odd bucket list item for a man of the modern world, if you know what I mean:Butt shoot, he was right around the corner so why not?Still, it made a rather odd photo op, what was he doing? Checking his celestial calendar? Calculating the incalculable pi? Wait, wait! I think I’ve it!Worshipping the sun god?Solstice worshipperYour guess is as good...
  • Reaganite's SUNDAY FUNNIES

    09/07/2014 2:51:43 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 07 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • UN Defends Refusal to Evacuate Non-Combatants in Gaza

    09/06/2014 11:57:26 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    In its efforts to minimize collateral damage in its campaign against Hamas terrorists who were launching rocket attacks against Israeli civilians, the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) asked UN “peace keepers” in Gaza to help Palestinian civilians evacuate the combat zone. The UN refused this request. UN spokesperson Penelope Ironside explained that “the idea that civilians should be removed from the battle zone conflicted with the explicit strategy of one of the contending sides. For us to have assisted in their removal would have compromised the UN’s position as a neutral party.” “The conflict between Israel and Hamas is asymmetrical,” Ironside...
  • Senator to Issue Report Absolving IRS

    09/06/2014 10:05:35 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich), chairman of the Senate’s Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations is preparing a report that will absolve the IRS and Lois Lerner of any wrongdoing in the campaign to target and harass conservative political organizations. “Those who have alleged that Lerner and the IRS took it upon themselves to conduct a vendetta against conservative organizations have it all wrong,” Levin alleged. “Evidence has emerged that the IRS was acting upon urgent requests from highly placed members of the government. Bureaucrats being responsive to the needs of the government is behavior we should be encouraging not punishing.” The highly...
  • DHS Says It Had to Release Murderers

    08/25/2014 6:41:47 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Aug 2014 | John Semmens
    Outraged over learning that the Department of Homeland Security released 154 illegal immigrants convicted of homicide in their native country, Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) demanded an explanation from DHS Secretary Jeh Johnson. He received a reply from Immigration and Customs Enforcement chief Thomas Winkowski. In his reply, Winkowski maintained that DHS “had no choice in the matter. We should not be castigated for obeying the law.” Winkowski’s contention, though, may not be correct. While it is true that the law does not permit DHS to hold illegal immigrants indefinitely, it does allow for the retention of “dangerous immigrants.” “Just because...
  • Judge Rules Private School Vouchers Unconstitutional

    08/26/2014 6:36:18 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Aug 2014 | John Semmens
    North Carolina Superior Court Judge Robert Hobgood declared the state’s the Opportunity Scholarship program unconstitutional. The program provided funds for poor children to attend the same private schools attended by their financially better off peers. “Allowing these children to exit the failing public school system undermines the incentive and capability for improving the public schools,” Hobgood ruled. “It would put the good of the few ahead of the collective well-being of the whole. By preventing the few from escaping we maintain the pressure for reform of the system.” Hobgood rejected the argument that allowing students to exit substandard schools would...
  • Kerry Says ISIS Will Be Destroyed Within Three Years

    09/05/2014 3:28:27 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 55 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Sep 2014 | John Semmens
    US Secretary of State John Kerry predicted that the Islamic State (also known as ISIS and ISIL) would be destroyed within three years. The means: "massive wrongful death lawsuits." "These thugs might think they're cute filming the decapitation of their victims," Kerry said. "But by putting their torts on record they have opened themselves to legal liability that will cost them billions in damages." "No country on Earth has better or more expensive lawyers than we do," the Secretary boasted. "With skills honed from decades of tormenting corporate defendants in the courtroom, the plaintiffs' bar will eviscerate ISIS's defenses and...
  • Too Funny. Or Die.

    09/05/2014 8:26:32 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-5-2014 | MOTUS
    Today’s post is dedicated to Joan Rivers. Because she was funny and she made you laugh, on purpose. Yes, she could be crude, mean, non-politically correct; everything we need as antidotes to the touchy-feely world crafted by our politically correct betters. Oh, they’re funny too, only not on purpose;- and they make you laugh not in a “funny ha ha” way, butt more of a “Funny or Die” way. Which sounds a little like the way those pesky Islamic extremists win people to their side: “convert or die.”For example, Barry on the Funny or Die network’s “Between Two Ferns” show last...
  • TGIF Toons~

    09/05/2014 5:07:04 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 3 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 05 September 2014 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Congress Approves Bill That Will Offer Free Automobiles To Welfare Recipients

    09/04/2014 11:14:19 AM PDT · by A Voice · 58 replies
    Empire News ^ | August 29, 2014 | Raoul Stockton
    Yesterday the White House announced its plan to offer free motor vehicles to welfare recipients, after congress passed the bill in a narrow vote. The program, initiated by President Barrack Obama, is very similar to what is now widely known to the public as “The Obama Phone,” where welfare recipients can get free cell phone service through a subsidized program. Some are even already referring to the free vehicle program as “The Obama Car.”
  • Furious Obama Says Calls to Putin Going Straight to Voice Mail

    09/04/2014 8:27:19 AM PDT · by traumer · 98 replies
    The New Yorker ^ | September 2, 2014 | By Andy Borowitz
    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/furious-obama-says-calls-putin-going-straight-voicemail
  • Islamic State Zombies: 3 Strategies Revealed

    09/04/2014 6:11:05 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 9-4-2014 | MOTUS
    This is not a drill, we have a situation here; the Islamic State Zombies (ISZ) present an existential threat to Western Civilization and you must choose a leader to follow. Which one would you choose?1. Our Prezzy, who thinks we can shrink the ISZ to a “manageable problem.” “We know that if we are joined by the international community, we can continue to shrink ISIL’s sphere of influence, its effectiveness, its financing, its military capabilities to the point where it is a manageable problem.” As far as I know Barry can’t manage his way out of a brown paper bag...