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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • How an Insane Liberal Money Grab Led to the Parkland School Shootings

    02/24/2018 5:38:52 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 6 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) And she’ll keep saying that so she can continue to use her gig on 60 Minutes as a campaign platform – Oprah Winfrey says she’s “definitely not” running for president. Better headline: Crazy Person Says Everyone Who Disagrees With Her is Crazy. – Rose McGowan says Trump voters are victims of “Cult brainwashing.” Now that they’ve gotten their virtue signaling on sexual assault out of the way by wearing black to the Golden Globes Awards show and grown tired of using that #MeToo hashtag with all their Tweets, all the depraved mental...
  • Venezuelans Lead World in Weight Loss [semi-satire]

    02/24/2018 2:22:29 AM PST · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 Feb 2018 | John Semmens
    Last year the inhabitants of Venezuela led the world in weight loss with an average decline in weight of 24 lbs. per person. President Nicolas Maduro lamented that "the outcome would've been even better if more of the largest losers had been able to survive. Still, we are showing the gringos how to fight climate change." Former US President Barack Obama hailed the country's mass starvation method of weight loss as "a remarkable shrinkage of Venezuela's carbon footprint. The sacrifices made by their people to reduce global warming have been truly heroic. One of my biggest regrets is that I...
  • FLOTUS Friday, and I’m Planning a Party

    02/23/2018 6:36:13 AM PST · by NOBO2012
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 2-23-18 | MOTUS
    It’s technically FLOTUS Friday.  But Melania has wisely chosen to stay below the radar as Big Media and the Left (but I repeat myself) are loaded for bear – metaphorically speaking, as we all know how they feel about the right to bear arms – and have her husband in the cross hairs. I note there will be no lefty uproar about saying that as “cross hairs” are only “inflammatory political rhetoric” when talking about liberals. To say the media has behaved reprehensibly during the past week in their attempt to advance their gun control “debate” is a given. But...
  • 2018 is Shaping up a Lot Like 2010 and the Democrat Panic is Palpable

    02/23/2018 5:01:24 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 4 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – The Labor Department reports that new unemployment claims for last week came in at 222,000, well below the expectation of 230,000, and very near the all-time low since this measure of economic performance began being kept 45 years ago. San Fran Nan, in a rare moment of lucidity, admitted to a pair of reporters yesterday that “Yes, people are getting a little more in their paychecks” due to the Trump tax cuts. This belated concession to reality comes after months of lying shamelessly to the...
  • I Am So Not Tired Of Winning Yet

    02/22/2018 8:20:05 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 11 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 2-22-18 | MOTUS
    Aw shucks: On the slopes, Lindsey Vonn was a bust at the 2018 Winter Olympics. She arrived here widely considered the best female Alpine skier ever, primed for a gold medal in the downhill and poised to win another medal in the Super-G. She will head home with a measly bronze. – USA Today I was rooting for her to win the downhill, after all she is an American. Her team mate, Mikaela Shiffrin, had pulled out of that race and with her gone there was no other American in contention. Mikaela was entered in yesterday’s Women’s Combined (downhill and...
  • CNN Stages a Fake Townhall on the Parkland Killings After President Trump Hosts a Real One

    02/22/2018 5:21:04 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 8 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) It’s all fake news all the time at @CNN – But then, you already knew that, didn’t you? One of the kids who survived the school shootings in Parkland, Florida last week has revealed that his appearance at a CNN townhall with Senator Marco Rubio and others was actually scripted. He was invited to participate in a panel and told he would be able to ask his own questions, but once the fake journalists at CNN realized his question did not fit the anti-gun narrative the fake news channel is pushing, he...
  • Nevertheless She Persisted

    02/21/2018 7:36:25 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 12 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 2-21-18 | MOTUS
    On this day in history: 1848 - Marx publishes Manifesto – and Elizabeth Warren was there 1828 - Cherokee receive their first printing press – and Elizabeth Warren was there I understand Lizzy later went on to join the WWII Code Talkers as well. Last week – to advance her chances in 2020 - she dropped in uninvited at the National Congress of American Indians' winter session in Washington in an attempt to put to rest the controversy surrounding her claim of Native American (minority) status. She didn’t apologize for the cultural appropriation (only required of non-minority conservatives) in fact...
  • Social Justice Warriors Ruin Everything They Touch, Even the Olympics

    02/21/2018 4:57:48 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – President Trump, as only he can do it, got onto his Twitter account Tuesday evening and trolled the fake journalists at CNN and MSNBC who helped promote one of the fake Russian-staged anti-Trump rallies on November 12, 2016: “Bad ratings @CNN & @MSNBC got scammed when they covered the anti-Trump Russia rally wall-to-wall. They probably knew it was Fake News but, because it was a rally against me, they pushed it hard anyway. Two really dishonest newscasters, but the public is wise!” Never. Stop. Tweeting....
  • Devin Nunes Lobs Another Bomb Into Obamaville

    02/20/2018 3:18:02 PM PST · by EyesOfTX · 25 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Evening Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) If you listen to Rush Limbaugh – I personally do so 2-3 times a week, when my schedule permits – in today’s first hour you heard him give an update of what is going on with the case of General Mike Flynn. If you read the Campaign Update, you’d have read all about all of that stuff on Valentine’s day. Just sayin’. Ok, in fairness to Rush, there has been one important event in the case that took place since February 14: On Friday, February 16, Judge Emmet Sullivan issued an...
  • People Who Live In Glass Houses…

    02/20/2018 7:09:38 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 9 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-20-18 | MOTUS
    Stephen Jobs’ last project came to fruition last year: the Company’s 175 acre, $5 billion Apple Park Campus in Cupertino, California. The first of an estimated 13,000  employees began to move in early this year. Despite it’s massive size,it is esthetically very pleasing both externally,and internally.But like most Apple design-obsessed products that are wrapped in a beautiful package, there are a few operational flaws that need to be worked out. Specifically, employees keep walking into the massive internal safety glass walls that are everywhere.The entire project was designed by the British architectural firm Foster + Partners in conjunction with Apple’s...
  • That Crazy Day When Adam Schiff Stumbled Across The Truth

    02/20/2018 5:08:50 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 8 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – Man, the fake editors and fake journalists at the NYTimes had to have really, really hated to report the results of their own fake poll on Monday, showing as it does that, despite the fake news media’s feverishly coordinated effort with the Democrats to convince the American people that getting to keep a little bit more of their hard-earned money via Trump’s tax cuts was the end of the world and would kill us all, a majority of the public now supports the tax cut...
  • In Favor of Trump’s Support for Stronger Background Checks on Gun Purchases

    02/19/2018 9:57:11 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 34 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Evening Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Pretty much everyone knows who Jeff Foxworthy is. Well, anyone over the age of 25 does, anyway. For those who are unaware, Foxworthy is the southern comedian who is most famous for his “You might be a redneck” routine. Some of his funniest quotes include things like: - If you’ve ever had to climb a water tower with a can of paint to protect your sister’s honor, you might be a redneck; - If your wife has ever had to tell you “honey, come get this transmission out of the tub...
  • Happy Presidents’ Day, And Yes, He Is Your President

    02/19/2018 7:55:45 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 21 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 2-19-18 | MOTUS
    I’m simply tired of the Left’s latest round of “debate” over gun control and immigration “reform.” It’s beyond tedious at this point, and I blame the Russians.Here’s the Left’s complete argument, on both issues:”SHUT UP! I’m on a roll.”And another thing I’m sick of: the Winter Olympics. Not the games so much as the coverage: How NBC Flubbed Its Coverage, Reported The Wrong Gold Medalist, Then Botched The Correction Of One Of The Most Stunning Upsets In Olympic History.This was the race in which snow boarder Ester Ledecká, who entered the women’s Super-G on a whim and a set of...
  • Jerrold Nadler Puts an Ugly Face on the Biggest Threat to American Democracy

    02/19/2018 5:10:12 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 16 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) I watched it on YouTube so you don’t have to, and trust me, you don’t want to. – Fergie butchered the Star Spangled Banner before the NBA All Star game last night so badly that Roseanne Barr was standing and yelling “I’m not the worst anymore! I’m not the worst anymore!” Fergie, sounding for all the world like a lounge singer skit on Saturday Night Live, was so awful that several players could be seen openly mocking her. She was so bad that commentator Shaquille O’Neal looked at Charles Barkley afterwards and...
  • Dems & Pubs Battle Over Food Stamps [semi-satire]

    02/18/2018 10:55:51 AM PST · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2018 | John Semmens
    In a proposal dubbed “America’s Harvest Box,” President Trump’s new budget calls for replacing half of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) vouchers with actual food for 80% of the program’s recipients. The “box” would contain allotments of shelf-stable milk, ready to eat cereals, pasta, peanut butter, beans and canned fruit and vegetables. Democrats were quick to attack the plan. Michigan Sen Debbie Stabenow, the ranking Democrat on the agriculture committee, labeled it “not a serious proposal.” Rep Jim McGovern (D-Mass) called it “a cruel joke. It unfairly limits the choices of those dependent on the government for their living....
  • When the Idiots Are At the Gate, Don’t Open the Gate

    02/18/2018 7:23:59 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 16 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 2-18-18 | MOTUS
    We’re making progress. We’ve gone from a hysterical “Trump colluded with the Russians to steal the election” to this, from Jerry Nadler: NADLER: My reaction to the news is this is absolute proof of what we knew all along and what the president has denied, namely that we were attacked. This is a very serious attack against the United States by a hostile foreign power, an attack against our election process, our entire governing process. We know that the attack is continuing. And that our intelligence agencies tell us that it’s going to certainly continue through the next election. And...
  • The Week in Review: The Fake News Media’s Fakest Week Ever

    02/18/2018 5:36:55 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 11 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) This past week saw the fake news media have what probably was its fakest week ever – which is saying an awful lot – and here a few of the highlights: The fake news media, lacking any other negative story on which to focus in order to avoid reporting on the massive, mushrooming scandal of corruption at DOJ and the FBI, spent the first several days of the week hammering the Rob Porter story. While Porter’s likely a wife-abusing turd who needed to be fired and needs to be punished, that hardly...
  • How white nationalists fooled the media about Florida shooter

    02/17/2018 5:33:08 PM PST · by spintreebob · 26 replies
    politico.com color of change.org ^ | 2-16-2018 | Shawn Musgrave
    ABC, AP and others ran with false information on shooter’s ties to extremist groups. Following misrepresentations by a white nationalist leader and coordinated efforts by internet trolls, numerous researchers and media outlets spread a seemingly false claim that the man charged with killing more than a dozen people at a Florida high school belonged to an extremist group. Law enforcement agencies say they have no evidence so far to support this claim, and the rumor appears to have been perpetrated by white nationalist trolls themselves.
  • FBI Whiffs on School Shooting [semi-satire]

    02/17/2018 1:15:37 PM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2018 | John Semmens
    This week, Nikolas Cruz killed 17 and wounded another 13 in an assault on the students and faculty of Marjory Stoneman High School in Parkland, Florida. By law, the school is a designated “gun free zone.” This ensured that Cruz would be able to fire at will until off-site police arrived, which they did within five minutes of being called. By that time the 19-year-old Cruz had ditched his weapon and blended in with the fleeing students. Cruz’s heinous plan was months in the making. Back on September 5, 2017 Cruz posted a YouTube boast “I’m going to be a...
  • Oprah Says She Won't Run for President [semi-satire]

    02/17/2018 9:32:20 AM PST · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2018 | John Semmens
    Daytime TV personality Oprah Winfrey's assertion that she will not run for president in 2020 "because if God actually wanted me to run, wouldn't God kinda tell me? And I haven't heard that. I had a lot of wealthy men calling, telling me that they would run my campaign and raise $1 billion for me, but it's just not in my spirit." Joy Behar, a panelist on ABC's The View talk show, called Oprah's remarks "insane. It's the kind of thing we'd expect to come out of Vice-President Pence's mouth. What can she be thinking putting the imaginary words of...