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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Dem Seeks Pledges to Tear Down Trump's Ballroom [semi-satire]

    11/04/2025 9:44:28 AM PST · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 November 2025 | John Semmens
    House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY), former White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, former First Lady Hillary Clinton, former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton, and CBS late-night host Stephen Colbert have called President Trump's $250 million privately funded construction of a White House ballroom a "desecration of a historic structure." Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) has gone even further and is now telling prospective Democrat 2028 presidential candidates "don't even think of seeking the Democratic nomination for president unless you pledge to take a wrecking ball to the Trump Ballroom on DAY ONE of your presidential term on January 20, 2029." It's...
  • Nigerian President Promises To End Genocide If Trump Sends Upfront Fee Of $5,000 In Amazon Gift Cards

    11/03/2025 11:55:17 AM PST · by DFG · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 11/03/2025 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump received an email from the President of Nigeria with a commitment to end the genocide against Christians if Trump agrees to send him $5,000 in Amazon gift cards. "I hope this email finds you well, Mr. Donald," the email stated. "I am the President of Nigeria and will most gladly endeavor to end this genocide in my country if you can be pleased to send me $5,000 in Amazon gift cards. Thank you very much. You are dearest." Trump expressed surprise at the email and worried it might not be legitimate. "I've seen these things...
  • Canada Orders Toronto Blue Jays Players Euthanized

    11/03/2025 10:25:13 AM PST · by DFG · 15 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 11/03/2025 | Babylon Bee
    TORONTO — Following the team's devastating loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 7 of the 2025 World Series, the Canadian government announced that it had ordered the players from the Toronto Blue Jays to be euthanized. As is standard procedure in Canada, people who have outlived their usefulness and no longer provide the expected value to society are promptly scheduled to be exterminated. After failing to bring home a championship, the Blue Jays' roster was deemed to have reached the end of the line. "It's what's best for all parties," said Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney. "They had...
  • Cuomo Inadvertently Tips Scale Against Himself [semi-satire]

    11/03/2025 9:41:38 AM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 November 2025 | John Semmens
    Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo overestimated his value to NYC when during a speech to elderly voters he threatened to move to Florida if he loses the mayoral election. "I have spent my adult life in public service to New York," he said. "I feel you owe me your vote. I'm the only one who can defeat the corrupt socialist who polls show will win if I don't. If you screw me over by voting for someone else, I'll return the favor by permanently relocating to Miami." After hearing Cuomo's speech, a Jewish voter from Brooklyn turned to his...
  • Gavin Newsom: “There is Nothing I Dislike More Than a Politician Who Sits There and Lies to You”

    11/02/2025 8:07:17 PM PST · by Red Badger · 59 replies
    100 Percent Fed Up ^ | November 02, 2025 | Staff
    There’s nothing California Gov. Gavin Newsom hates more than a lying politician. At least, that’s what he, very condescendingly, told an NBC News reporter during a recent interview. Oh that is really RICH! The hypocrisy is just astounding. Watch for yourself: Did you see that head tilt? It’s like he knows he’s lying as he lies about hating liars! By the way, Newsom made that comment just before defending Joe Biden’s cognitive state. Utterly shameless. These people are so brazen with their lies. Here’s a longer clip: 🚨 JUST IN: In a bizarre moment, Gavin Newsom tilts his head like...
  • Dem Says "MAGA Won't Like Who President AOC Kills" [semi-satire]

    11/02/2025 9:56:35 AM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 November 2025 | John Semmens
    Ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee Rep. Jim Himes (Conn) took issue with the Trump Administration policy of having the US Navy blow up drug smugglers boats, saying "Sen Graham (SC) and other Republicans say it's okay to kill suspected drug smugglers, just so long as the American public supports it. What will they say when President Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez orders a strike on a MAGA demonstration or suppresses the speech of individuals who disagree with her policies? Do they really want to establish a precedent that the president can do whatever he or she wants?" "What precedent is he...
  • Dodgers Purchase 2nd World Series Victory

    11/02/2025 6:48:08 AM PST · by DFG · 46 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 11/02/2025 | Babylon Bee
    TORONTO — One of the largest and riskiest investments paid off late Saturday night, as the Los Angeles Dodgers successfully purchased their second World Series victory in as many years. The attempt to complete the purchase was put in jeopardy by the upstart Toronto Blue Jays, but the Dodgers' front office remained confident that their amazing achievement of spending more money than all the other teams would pay off. "Money well spent," said Dodgers Executive Vice President and General Manager Braqondon Gomes. "It looked a little touch-and-go there for a bit, but thankfully, all the hard work we put in...
  • VIDEO: Tucker Carlson Apologizes to Nick Fuentes

    11/02/2025 5:08:47 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 77 replies
    Rumble ^ | November 2, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEONot that there is anything wrong with that.
  • It’s Obvious Why Harris Lost in 2024. But Can Democrats Accept It?

    11/01/2025 10:22:19 PM PDT · by Cronos · 36 replies
    New York times ^ | 1st November 2025 | Ross Douthat
    However, to move to the center is, by definition, to move in the direction of the other party, toward the hated enemy and away from your most passionate supporters. Nobody wants to do that! Which is why, in times of political defeat, there is a bottomless appetite for prescriptions that reassure the defeated party members that they just need to be truer to themselves, more effective, more ruthless. And no ambitious politician wants to be the first to throw cold water on these hopes. This is the psychological spot where many Democrats find themselves today. It is completely obvious that...
  • Kamala Wants Lower Voting Age [semi-satire]

    11/01/2025 11:19:40 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 November 2025 | John Semmens
    Former Vice-President and unsuccessful Democrat nominee for president in 2024 Kamala Harris wants the voting age to be lowered from 18 years-old to six-years old. "Look, the children of today fear that climate change will wipe out their future," she said. "They will be the biggest victims of the catastrophic damage done by global warming. They should have a voice in choosing who will be making climate policy. The only way this can be accomplished is to enable them to cast ballots for the Democratic Party." "By the age of six most children are in school and learning to read,"...
  • Parasitic Blimps Threaten Crime Spree [semi-satire]

    11/01/2025 1:16:34 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 November 2025 | John Semmens
    Most Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) recipients recently got emails or texts warning them that their monthly SNAP payments would not be made for November because Congress hasn't approved them. A number of them have posted videos of themselves in which they threaten to steal food. "I'ma tell y'all straight up like this, I just got that text that the link is definitely cut the f–k off for November. Y'all better stay the f–k out of my way in these stores because I'm walking out with carts and I'm not paying for s–t," one posted on TikTok. Another said "you...
  • Tucker Carlson & Nick Fuentes - A Recap (HILARIOUS!!!)

    10/31/2025 4:29:26 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 11 replies
    I mean, since when do we judge people solely based on their statements, beliefs, actions, and behavior…? @TuckerCarlson pic.twitter.com/omJcg8Eknd— Ami Kozak (@amiKozak) October 28, 2025
  • Rep. Jasmine Crockett claims Republicans keep walking up to her saying, "I love you!"

    10/31/2025 12:41:14 PM PDT · by DFG · 54 replies
    X ^ | 10/31/2025 | Eric Daugherty
    🚨 JUST IN: Rep. Jasmine Crockett claims Republicans keep walking up to her saying, "I love you!" 😂 "Cities, airports, people walk up to me. They tell me they have a difference on politics, but they LOVE ME!" 😭
  • Embarrassed Democrats Admit They Can't Remember Why They Shut The Government Down

    10/31/2025 9:36:32 AM PDT · by DFG · 11 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 10/31/2025 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers quietly admitted on Friday that they can't seem to remember why they shut down the government in the first place. Washington insiders confirmed that the party had held several closed-door meetings to try and figure out what the government shutdown was all about. Thus far, none of them has been able to remember. "What was it that we started this over again?" asked House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "I'm sure it had to do with something really meaningful and important, like demanding black people be allowed to vote or something, right? Wait, I'm black and...
  • Exclusive / British newspaper spoke to the wrong de Blasio, not an ‘imposter’

    10/30/2025 9:37:21 AM PDT · by DFG · 4 replies
    Semafor ^ | 10/30/2025 | Brendan Ruberry and Max Tani
    The man at the heart of a high-stakes mix-up that rippled through global political journalism in the final days of the New York mayoral campaign was neither “falsely claiming” to be former Mayor Bill de Blasio — as the Times of London suggested — nor, as The New York Times wrote, a “de Blasio impersonator.” He is, instead, a 59-year-old Long Island wine importer named Bill DeBlasio, who merely responded to an email from a journalist seeking his views on Democrat Zohran Mamdani’s policies. “I’m Bill DeBlasio. I’ve always been Bill DeBlasio,” DeBlasio said in an interview conducted Wednesday evening...
  • To Kill A Million Mockingbirds

    10/29/2025 3:44:42 PM PDT · by BruceDeitrickPrice · 17 replies
    American Thinker ^ | Oct. 27, 2025 | Bruce Deitrick Price
    In one of America’s most popular novels, seven-year-old Scout has been reading “ever since she was born.” She and her father read the newspapers together every evening. Late in the summer, she realized she would be starting school in a week. “I never looked forward more to anything in my life. Hours of wintertime had found me in the treehouse, looking over at the schoolyard, spying on the children there. ... I longed to join them.” But everything changed by lunchtime! Scout’s older brother Jem asked how she was getting along on her first day of school. “I told him....
  • Zohran Mamdani represents the future of the Democratic party

    10/28/2025 7:34:46 AM PDT · by MinorityRepublican · 43 replies
    The Guardian ^ | Tue 28 Oct 2025 | Robert Reich
    The only upside to living through this dark time is it pushes us to rethink and perhaps totally remake things we once thought immutable. Like the Democratic party. In case you hadn’t noticed, the current Democratic party is dysfunctional, if not dead. Better dysfunctional than a fascist cult like the Trump Republican party. But if there were ever a time when America needed a strong, vibrant Democratic party, it’s now. And we don’t have one. The brightest light in the Democratic party is Zohran Mamdani, the 34-year-old member of the New York state assembly who has a good chance of...
  • Today's Toons 10/28/25

    10/28/2025 3:57:07 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 10/28/25 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Dems Doctor Crime Stats [semi-satire]

    10/27/2025 11:01:46 AM PDT · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 October 2025 | John Semmens
    Gov. JB Pritzker's (D-Ill) claim that crime is down in his state and the City of Chicago is based largely on reclassifying felonies to misdemeanors. The Governor boasted "this essentially cost-free method of improving our safety record is something we should have thought of doing a long time ago. Prosecutors have always had the authority to decide whether to reduce the cost of prosecuting offenders by offering them a deal to plead to a misdemeanor and get a lesser sentence or probation rather than being tried for a felony. We also save on incarceration expenses with the lighter sentences." US...
  • My Portugal Trip: Fox Hunting Englishmen on the Porto Bridge

    10/26/2025 12:37:22 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 7 replies
    Rumble ^ | October 26, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOThe famous Dom Luis bridge in Porto over the Douro River felt like a magical experience while we were walking on it. Built in 1886, the arched bridge has two levels. The lower level for vehicular traffic and the upper level, where we were, is for light rail and pedestrian traffic. The elements of the lighting from a perfect sunset, the music in the distance from a festival, electric train cars gliding past us, the variety of people, both locals and tourists, including the eccentric English Fox hunters, all blended to create that magical unforgettable ambiance. I hope this video...