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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Brown Vows Revenge on Anti-Sanctuary Cities [semi-satire]

    04/23/2018 10:19:32 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Apr 2018 | John Semmens
    Now that the second largest county in California has joined a growing list of cities opposing the state’s sanctuary policies, an irate Gov. Jerry Brown (D) has vowed “to take vengeance on these lowlifes.” The spark provoking this promise came when the San Diego County Board of Supervisors voted to direct the county attorney to file a friend-of-the-court brief supporting the Trump Administration’s lawsuit against the state’s attempt to flout federal immigration laws. “If these people thought they’ve had it tough before paying for the medical, education, and welfare needs of our undocumented immigrants, I want them to know that...
  • #MondayMoanin’ – And the Hillary Camp is Still At It

    04/23/2018 7:44:38 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 13 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 4-23-18 | MOTUS
    I hate to link to the New York Times, but Amy Chozick’s essay adapted from her upcoming book “Chasing Hillary” does reveal  some truths about the Hillary Clinton 2016 campaign.Apparently there really was some media bias!I know this is hardly news but it’s fun to see it exposed and this way you won’t have to buy the book. But if you refuse under any circumstances to click on the NYT you can read some of the highlights at ACE including some feel good moments like this: Mook eventually delivers the news of impending defeat to Clinton. "I knew it. I knew...
  • Devin Nunes Drops Another Bomb, and It’s a Big One

    04/23/2018 4:55:28 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 81 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    So, here’s how our fake national news media justifies what it does: - Devin Nunes, Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, told Fox News host Maria Bartiromo on Sunday that the Obama Administration’s fake “counterintelligence” investigation into the Trump campaign was started in early 2016 “with no official intelligence” as its basis. - Other than Fox and a handful of conservative news outlets, no media outlet has reported this incredible, bombshell news, which means that the investigation was illegal from the outset. - The fake news media outlets refusing to cover this story claim that it’s all Nunes’ fault, because...
  • Clutter

    04/22/2018 10:55:47 AM PDT · by Simon Green · 5 replies
    XKCD ^ | 04/19/18 | Randall Munroe
  • McCabe Sues Trump for "Wrongful Termination" [semi-satire]

    04/22/2018 10:04:31 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Apr 2018 | John Semmens
    Fired for “lack of candor,” former deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe is set to sue the Trump administration for “wrongful termination.” Michael Bromwich, McCabe’s lawyer, cited former FBI Director James Comey’s book—A Hired Loyalty—as confirmation that “my client getting fired for lying contradicts the Agency’s ethical standards so clearly laid out by Mr. Comey.” In his book and interviews since its publication, Comey has admitted “lying when circumstances require it. Everyone in the DOJ has lied when necessary to nail a criminal for which we lacked the evidence to prosecute or to protect confidential sources. Take current Special Counsel Bob...
  • James Comey: Defender of Cafeteria Ethics

    04/22/2018 8:12:58 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 4-22-18 | MOTUS
    Newt Gingrich came right out and said what a lot of people think: James Comey - former U.S. attorney, deputy attorney general, corporate attorney, hedge-funder and FBI director - wrote a self-serving book filled with lies and half truths and may well be a “pathological liar.” “I’m saying he taught himself a early age a series of self-serving emotions, which he uses … if you watch him for a couple of hours of this stuff, he uses it over and over,” Gingrich concluded. “This guy is almost a pathological liar.” Daily Caller Worth a view: Pathological liars may lie to...
  • On This Earth Day, Thank Mother Earth for the Gift of Fossil Fuels

    04/22/2018 5:06:32 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Today is Earth Day, and it is the perfect time to celebrate the natural resources like oil, natural gas and coal, which are gifts to humanity from Mother Earth herself. These indispensable drivers of modern society will no doubt be demonized today amid all the frightful doom and gloom predictions that will be launched by environmental activists and repeated by various media outlets. All the vitriol directed at these fossil fuels by the environmental community notwithstanding, it is a simple fact that our prosperous, modern, energy-hungry society was made possible by the...
  • NY Guv Has Identity Crisis [semi-satire]

    04/21/2018 12:20:40 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Apr 2018 | John Semmens
    Nervous that left-wing loon and former "Sex and the City" star Cynthia Nixon will oust him in the Democratic primary this coming September, Gov. Andrew Cuomo is trying to convince voters that he is all things to all people. In saner eras, the standard Democratic ploy was to promise an array of government-funded goodies to constituents. Now, though, Cuomo seems determined to persuade the gullible that he is "a Muslim, a Jew, a gay, a woman, a transgender, a criminal, an undocumented immigrant—I am every person, except a straight white male, and am the most perfect candidate to represent this...
  • The Incredible Lightness of ‘Smart Diplomacy’

    04/21/2018 7:26:14 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 4-21-18 | MOTUS
    Note to Barack Hussein Obama: This is what ‘smart diplomacy’ looks like: ‘How could a dangerous idiot like Donald Trump get little Kimmie to drop his guns when the brilliant Barry Obama (with his secret diplomatic weapon, Dennis Rodman) was unable to do so? Could it be PDJT, using America’s strength as a trade partner, got…(Gasp!) China to exert force on our behalf? CNN certainly didn’t seem to think so earlier this month: (CNN) A surprise visit by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to China may indicate Pyongyang's need for support from its closest ally ahead of upcoming summits...
  • Your Fake News Media in Action!

    04/21/2018 5:27:42 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 3 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Hey, let’s do that with Obamacare, too! – Chuckie Schumer announced on Friday that he’s introducing a bill that would essentially rescind federal marijuana laws because, he claims, he is such a huge believer in the concept of federalism that he thinks we should just let the states decide on whether pot should be legal or not. This marks the first issue in his long political career on which the old collectivist expressed a fealty to federalism. Talking Points Parrot for Senate! – Just minutes after Schumer had held his press conference,...
  • Dems Sue Trump for "Wrongful Election Victory" [semi-satire]

    04/20/2018 5:54:26 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Apr 2018 | John Semmens
    Unsatisfied with the lack of results from Special Counsel Robert Mueller's year-long investigation of Trump-Russia collusion to steal the 2016 presidential election from Hillary Clinton, the Democratic National Committee filed a lawsuit demanding billions of dollars in damages and a "rectification" of the election results. In addition to Trump, the suit also named Russia and Wikileaks as co-conspirators in what DNC Chairman Tom Perez called "an act of unimaginable treachery." While not part of the suit, per se, Perez expressed "our profound disappointment with the actions of our government. We counted on them to prevent the election of Trump as...
  • About that DNC Lawsuit…

    04/20/2018 4:26:14 PM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 12 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Evening Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) About that DNC lawsuit…don’t expect anything to really come of it. In fact, you should expect it to occupy most of the fake news media attention over this weekend, quickly fade from view starting on Monday, and be withdrawn entirely within a few weeks. The DNC did not make a legal move today by filing that lawsuit, it made a political move. Democrats were getting crushed by the back-firing of the James Comey teen angst tour, the IG’s criminal referral on Andrew McCabe, and the news that the IG had opened...
  • #FLOTUSFRIDAY: PTSD-by-Proxy

    04/20/2018 8:09:52 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 4-20-18 | MOTUS
    People wonder why Melania has been shunned by magazine editors around the world. It is curious, it would seem she is a natural having graced covers for most of her life. And in Michelle Obama-ese, she can “totally rock” a shirtwaist like nobody. But alas, we are experiencing the effects of PTSD (President Trump Stress Disorder) by-proxy syndrome. Hatin’ on Trump is not enough, the vitriol must be transferred to everything and anything associated with the President. And in Liberal-Land that includes the President’s wife and children - unless of course the President is a Democrat and then such behavior...
  • Some Men Just Need Firing, and Rod Rosenstein is That Man

    04/20/2018 5:01:39 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 10 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Thursday was like last Friday, another one of those 5 news cycle days… – Congressional criminal referrals against McCabe, Comey, Lynch and the Pantsuit Princess; – The James Comey teen angst tour continues; – The DOJ Inspector General issues a criminal referral on McCabe; – Trump hires Rudy Giuliani to “help negotiate an end to the Mueller investigation,” according to Rudy; – DOJ releases the vaunted “Comey memos” to congress, they immediately leak to the press. ..and that all happened by 5:15 Eastern Time. Holy cow. The Campaign Update covered both the...
  • DUmmie FUnnies 04-19-18 (KOmmies and DUmmies Dump on James Comey)

    04/19/2018 6:29:58 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 36 replies
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 19, 2018 | PJ-Comix
    If James Comey thought liberals would treat him as their homey on the heels of his book publication and tour, he is sadly mistaken. Since Comey offered not a shred of any kind of evidence that could lead to the removal of President Donald Trump from office, the left has receded back to the position they had at the instant before he was fired. Namely they hate Comey and continue to blame him for the election of Trump. This attitude is now held by both the DUmmies and the KOmmies. The fact that Comey acts so sanctimonious at all times...
  • Jeff Sessions Just Ran Out of Cover in the Andrew McCabe Case

    04/19/2018 1:07:42 PM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 52 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Evening Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Well, now we know why Andrew McCabe needed that half million dollar legal defense fund. The fired ex-Deputy Director of the FBI is really on a roll when it comes to having criminal referrals filed against him: Yesterday, he gets one from 11 members of the U.S. House of Representatives, and today he gets one lobbed out in his direction by Department of Justice Inspector General Michael Horowitz. Bang! Boom! Pow! It’s like he’s playing a bad guy in an episode of the 1960s TV version of Batman. The IG’s referral...
  • #ThrowbackThursday: Life Was Better When We Drank Either Coke or Pepsi

    04/19/2018 7:57:10 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 29 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 4-19-18 | MOTUS
    Here are the facts: Two black real estate agents walk into a Starbucks…trigger warning! Racism ahead! They are waiting to meet a (white) real estate developer – isn’t it just like a white guy to disrespect a couple of black men by being late – and they aren’t going to order anything until he arrived to pick up the tab.They were planning to eff with the barista by ordering a couple of Flat WhitesOne of the (black) men asked for the key to the restroom while waiting and was denied because a) company policy states restrooms are “for customers only”...
  • In Three Weeks, America Will Find Out Who Jeff Sessions Really Is

    04/19/2018 4:56:04 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 58 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Florida Republican Congressman Ron DeSantis, along with 10 other GOP members of the House, sent a letter to Attorney General Jeff Sessions and FBI Director Christopher Wray on Wednesday, detailing formal criminal referrals against James Comey, Hillary Clinton, Loretta Lynch and Andrew McCabe. While Sean Hannity and other conservative radio and TV talk show hosts played the letter up as if it is a momentous event, the truth is that it makes referrals that are already being acted upon by the Attorney General. Sessions has already and repeatedly made it clear that...
  • Ernest P Worrell's Best Commercial Ever!

    04/18/2018 1:28:51 PM PDT · by BBell · 14 replies
    This 31 second commercial is guaranteed to cause any snowflake who views it to wet themselves as their knees buckle while they are sprinting for their safe space or nearest closet with their phone in hand so they can call their help line.
  • Fresno State Prof. Randa Jarrar: Anatomy of a Self-Destructing Nitwit

    04/18/2018 1:02:42 PM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 40 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – Within a couple of hours of the announcement that former First Lady Barbara Bush had died at the age of 92, Fresno State English professor Randa Jarrar issued a tweet celebrating the event: “Barbara Bush was a generous and smart and amazing racist who, along with her husband, raised a war criminal. F*** outta hear with your nice words.” After she’d gotten pushback from other Twitter users, she followed that little ditty up with: ““PSA: either you are against these pieces of s— and their...