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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • The Recused AG’s Days Are Numbered, And So Are Mueller’s

    07/25/2017 5:39:02 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 57 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | 7.25.2017 | David Blackmon
    AG Jeff Sessions is most likely going to be fired in the coming days, as President Trump has had enough of his reluctance to focus the Justice Department’s efforts towards the prosecution of crimes into the abuses of Obama-era officials, and due to his decision shortly after taking the oath of office to recuse himself from anything to do with the Russia collusion fantasy play. AG Sessions is a good man, but his decision to focus on things like asset forfeiture for drug dealers and prosecuting violators of marijuana laws have indeed reached the point of absurdity. But it is...
  • 47 Years of Racial Healing

    07/25/2017 5:37:55 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-25-17 | MOTUS
    I’ve decided to reread a Tom Wolfe book during my week away from fake news. But which one? He’s such a prolific writer and the choices span both genres and generations: Bonfire of the Vanities, The Right Stuff, From Bauhaus to Our House…since I just reread - and reported on - The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test last year, during The Occupation, so that’s out: Interestingly, what was “new” journalism then – injecting yourself into the story and relating the facts as you  fancifully see fit, is now just journalism. Once the purview of Fine Arts and English programs, non-fiction today...
  • Judge Levies Fine for Exposing Planned Parenthood Crimes [semi-satire]

    07/24/2017 12:42:25 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 July 2017 | John Semmens
    Judge William Orrick levied a fine of $137,000 against David Daleiden and the Center for Medical Progress (CMP) for violating his "gag" order in the case against them related to their undercover investigative report on Planned Parenthood (PP). Dalieden and the CMP produced a number of covertly recorded videos of PP officials engaging in illegal sales of aborted baby parts. "Mr. Daleiden may imagine himself a journalist going undercover to snare criminals," Orrick said. "However, he is not a recognized member of any established journalistic outlet—neither TV, radio, print nor electronic. He is, to all intents, just a private citizen...
  • The SJWs Had A Really Bad Weekend

    07/24/2017 5:06:51 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 4 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | 7.24.2017 | David Blackmon
    Hey, remember when campus Social Justice Warriors, the Texas news media and the management at UT-Austin claimed that the implementation of Texas’s new “Campus Carry” law would be a disaster and lead to all sorts of death, violence, and just general mayhem? Yeah, predictably, that didn’t happen. UT reported yesterday that, in the year since the law went into effect, its’ campus police have had to investigate just 4 gun-related incidents on campus (Oklahoma’s football team alone averages more than that per semester), and just 1 of those incidents could even theoretically be somehow tied to the new law. That...
  • I’ll Be On the Beach If You Need Me

    07/24/2017 4:51:44 AM PDT · by NOBO2012
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-24-17 | MOTUS
    Well, it’s official; my computer has a serious disease of the hardware and has to go to the hospital for a few weeks. Bear with me, as this may be painful. I’ve stopped using the alien computer that hates me because I’m white (one of Raj’s old models) and have regressed to my own old computer that has hated me from the day I took it out of the box for who knows why. Maybe it resented having to report on Michelle Obama day after day…after day. Believe me, I’m empathetic.Anyway, it’s been asleep so long it didn’t even know...
  • Congresswoman Negotiating Whether to Cooperate with Investigation [semi-satire]

    07/23/2017 3:39:12 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 July 2017 | John Semmens
    Former Democratic National Committee Chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Fla) is in the midst of deciding whether or not to cooperate with DC police investigating possible violations of national security laws by her former top information technology (IT) aide, Imran Awan. Awan and several of his relatives are accused of abusing access granted by their Democratic Party employers to obtain and sell classified information. Thus far, Wasserman-Schultz has been refusing to turnover computers used by Awan so police can examine them. She has claimed exemption from law enforcement saying that "according to the Constitution, members of congress are privileged from arrest....
  • “Like Sands Through the Hourglass, So Are the Days of Our Lives.”

    07/23/2017 6:15:51 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 12 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-23-17 | MOTUS
    Our story today begins millennia ago, as the retreating glaciers (formed during the Ice Age) carved out the Great Lakes basin (during the earth’s last global warming period caused by carbon emissions). Along with the magnificently clear waters of the Great Lakes this global warming phenomenon left huge deposits of quartz sand behind that over time gathered in massive sand dunes that are still here today, although they are ever shifting and changing. The largest of these dunes reside in Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore…where they rise 450 feet above the lakeOverlook at Pierce Stocking 9 Mile marker, Sleeping Bear...
  • Freedom Caucus Move on Health Insurance Assailed [semi-satire]

    07/22/2017 2:16:11 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 July 2017 | John Semmens
    This week the “repeal and replace” health insurance bill crafted by the Republican leadership failed to garner enough support to be put to a vote. Rep. Tom Garret (R-VA), along with other Freedom Caucus members, said he will file a discharge petition that would put a clean repeal of Obamacare up for a House vote. “This is the same bill both the House and Senate passed that was vetoed by President Obama in 2015,” Garret said. “It would undo the conceit that the government is competent to dictate the health insurance choices every American must make. It will allow everyone...
  • Hillary Says Poll Unfair [semi-satire]

    07/22/2017 10:34:55 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 July 2017 | John Semmens
    This week a Bloomberg poll found that former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is viewed favorably by 39% of poll respondents. This is less than President Donald Trump's 41%. She is viewed unfavorably by 58%. Trump is viewed unfavorably by 55%. The former Secretary of State contended that the poll was an unfair comparison. "Every time I turn on the news it's all about Trump," she complained. "That's a lot of free publicity. Even if most of it is negative, when you consider the sources—CNN, MSNBC, New York Times—it can't help but boost his ratings. Being repeatedly attacked by media the...
  • Sun, Sand and Beaches Trump Politics

    07/22/2017 4:54:22 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-22-17 | MOTUS
    Drama Queen linked this from Dystopic at The Declination last Saturday: I Need A Vacation Of late, politics has been particularly nasty and overly repetitive. Russia! Russia! Russia! Trump tweeted something. Something was sexist, or racist, or some other thing…All of this is too much. It’s headache-inducing. At one point, I could laugh at politics…Today, the amusement has been sucked dry, and replaced with the constant bleating of sheep. It’s not funny anymore. Everything is identity politics. Everything. You can’t have a glass of milk without someone saying that milk is white, therefore racist. You can’t enjoy Chinese takeout without...
  • Mayor Apologizes for Police Shooting [semi-satire]

    07/21/2017 6:16:09 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 July 2017 | John Semmens
    This week, Minneapolis police officer Mohamed Noor shot Justine Damond to death. Damond was unarmed and in her pajamas at the time of the slaying. The incident occurred after, Damond made a 911 call reporting a possible rape in progress outside her home. She was killed as she spoke to Noor's police partner through the open window of the patrol car. Whether Noor should have been employed as a cop seems more of a triumph of "diversity" than good sense. Those who know him have used words like "extremely nervous," "jumpy," and "the least little thing can set him off."...
  • FLOTUS Friday July 21

    07/21/2017 4:46:36 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 7 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 721-17 | MOTUS
    I’ve been having mega computer problems this week  - in that it refuses to connect/stay connected to any of our wireless networks, although every other device in the house is working just fine, so no, not a router issue. So…you will need to do the heavy lifting today as I am reporting from an alien computer that hates me because I’m white. Melania, first year of the first term, totally managing the whole FLOTUS thingMichelle, first year of the first term, totally rocking the whole, uh, whatever…If anyone is aware of a fix for my hardware problem please advise. Otherwise...
  • Do You Want Fries With Your Hamburger Problem?

    07/20/2017 5:34:25 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-20-17 | MOTUS
    Republicans clearly have problems in delivering the promises they were elected on.But the Democrats have problems of their own. It’s what Josh Barrow (who I’d be willing to bet is a never-Trumper but I’m not interested enough to check) refers to as  the Left’s ‘hamburger problem.’ As I see it, Democrats' problem isn't that they're on the wrong side of policy issues. It's that they're too ready to bother too many ordinary people about too many of their personal choices, all the way down to the hamburgers they eat. They don't always want to prohibit those choices. But they have...
  • Liberal Heads Explode Over Dinner Chat. Sad!

    07/19/2017 5:13:34 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 29 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | 7.18.2017 | David Blackmon
    So, the latest fake journalist joint head explosion was caused by the revelation that, during one of the dinners at last week’s G20 meeting, President Trump left his seat and sat down next to Vladimir Putin for a discussion. The media, keeping with their agreed-to narrative, is uniformly describing this as a “private” discussion “with no other Americans present”, since the President did not have his own interpreter with him, relying instead on Putin’s interpreter to handle both sides of the discussion. Characterizing the dinner chat in this way is the height of absurdity given that it took place in...
  • Change We Can Believe In

    07/19/2017 4:06:10 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-19-17 | MOTUS
    Two things:1. REPEAL AND REPLACE! – Charlie Daniels style:    2. He’s not just talking about the Republicans: POLL: 52 Percent Of Americans Think Democratic Party Just Stands Against TrumpREPEAL AND REPLACE CONGRESS! CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!Posted from: MOTUS A.D.
  • Abortion a "Tool to End Poverty" [semi-satire]

    07/18/2017 9:59:02 AM PDT · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 July 2017 | John Semmens
    In a recent interview with CTV News, Marie-Claude Bibeau, Canada's Minister of International Development and La Francophonie, called abortion a "tool to end poverty" and labeled the Catholic Church's objections "illogical and self-serving." "Abortions reduce the number of people sharing the world's resources," Bibeau pointed out. "Culling the population in this manner means there is a bigger slice of the pie for each survivor. The Church's opposition would condemn an ever-growing human herd to subsist on shrinking shares of material goods." "I try to be tolerant of their religious beliefs, but I can't acquiesce to their sinister plan to promote...
  • Skool of Rocks

    07/18/2017 5:05:44 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-18-17 | MOTUS
    In today’s edition of “What’s Wrong With America?” we focus on education. Nearly half of all U.S. students graduate with an “A” average.  That’s right: Nearly half of America’s Class of 2016 are A students. Meanwhile, their average SAT score fell from 1,026 to 1,002 on a 1,600-point scale — suggesting that those A's on report cards might be fool's gold. – USA Today That’s up from 38% in 1998. At this rate 100% of the progeny of Gen Z should be A students. All dumber than a box of rocks. So maybe they’ll be able to figure out how to...
  • A Border Miracle Based Strictly on Psychology

    07/18/2017 2:28:16 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 16 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | 7.18.2017 | David Blackmon
    Tired of winning yet? National Border Patrol Council President Brandon Judd told C-SPAN Monday that the rapid downturn in illegal border crossings is “nothing short of miraculous.” He elaborated that total recorded border crossings in 2017 are just 53% of what they were in 2016, and that percentage continues to drop each week. As we have noted before, this has been achieved without building single foot of wall, without changes to existing statutes, without any new huge budget allocations to the Border Patrol, without the introduction of any new technology. The one and only reason for this fall is the...
  • Trump Jr. Meeting Proves Collusion [semi-satire]

    07/17/2017 1:01:52 PM PDT · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 July 2017 | John Semmens
    Former chairman for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign John Podesta declared that the recent disclosure by Donald Trump Jr. that he met with a Russian lawyer hoping to receive information that would damage Hillary Clinton's chances of being elected "is the final link in the chain of evidence proving that Donald Trump cheated his way into the presidency." "I mean, it's not as if there wasn't already a mountain of facts clearly establishing an intent to deny Secretary Clinton her rightful place as president," Podesta contended. "At every turn the Trump campaign sought to portray her in a negative light—her policies...
  • “Now What?”

    07/17/2017 5:48:45 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-17-17 | MOTUS
     The One Sentence That Explains Washington Dysfunction.  The political class never expected Donald Trump to become president. …from June 16, 2015, to November 8, 2016, the feeling among the elected officials, party functionaries, consultants, strategists, and journalists in our nation's capital was that Donald J. Trump stood no chance of becoming president of the United States. And because the political elite held this view with such self-assurance, with all the egotism and snobbery and moral puffery and snarkiness that distinguishes itself as a class, it did not spend more than a second, if that, thinking through the possible consequences of...