Keyword: satire
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Fifty-three Democratic members of the House and Senate signed a letter of protest against Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ plan to withhold federal law-enforcement aid from cities that flout US immigration laws. Signer Sen. Dick Durbin (Ill) complained that “Sessions is only making a bad situation worse. Even with the federal aid Chicago is a virtual combat zone with dozens of shootings every week. He should be backing gun-control legislation, not insisting on the enforcement of immigration laws that would end up deporting felons who are in the country illegally.” Sessions called the letter “an endorsement of illegality. We have laws...
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Assorted media spokespersons have pointed the finger of blame at President Trump for incidents of violence that have endangered members of their profession in various locations since he became president. Jim VandeHei, founder of the news website Axios, asserted that Trump is directly "putting reporters at real risk of retribution or violence." New York Times media columnist Jim Rutenberg wondered "how long before someone is seriously hurt, or worse?" Jeffrey Toobin, a writer for the New Yorker warned "Someone is going to do something awful to a journalist." Well, someone is doing some awful things to journalists, but it is...
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House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) demanded that "we be more selective in what kind of remarks people are allowed to make in public. I'm generally in favor of freedom of speech, but some statements and points of view are so far outside the bounds of respectable opinion that they present a clear and present danger." She went on to elaborate by analogy, saying "you can't shout 'wolf' in a crowded theater because everyone knows there is no wolf. If we don't suppress these bogus cries then one day when there really is a wolf no one will believe it....
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As with so much about President Trump, his Phoenix rally on Tuesday night was two contradictory things: both shocking and completely predictable. Shocking because it was the most sustained attack any president has made on the news media. And predictable because this is exactly what Trump does when he’s in trouble. He finds an enemy and punches as hard as he can. Make no mistake, he is in trouble. With a special prosecutor breathing down his neck and even once-loyal Breitbart News turning on him, Trump is, according to one new poll, at the lowest point of his presidency. Never...
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Trump just showed why even some Republicans question whether he has the temperament and the capacity to serve as President. In an incredible performance at a raucous Arizona rally Tuesday, Trump rewrote the history of his response to violence in Charlottesville and reignited the culture wars. Trump in effect identified himself as the main victim of the furor over the violence in Virginia, berating media coverage for a political crisis that refuses to abate over his rhetoric on race. "They're trying to take away our culture. They're trying to take away our history," Trump said, blaming "weak, weak people" for...
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As the face of CNN, Anderson Cooper makes a very good living as wealthy, privileged white man casting judgments of affiliation upon his political enemies. This includes taking a handful of idiotic white supremacists and declaring they represent millions of Republicans/conservatives, pro-America, Trump supporters, etc. And yet Mr. Cooper himself has a much closer affiliation to slavery than he likely wants his leftist viewers to know. As a descendant of the Vanderbilt family, one of the wealthiest “old money” families in American history, Cooper is a direct descendant of big time slave owners. Cooper’s great-great grandfather, Cornelius Vanderbilt, owned several...
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Trump And Russians Involved In Spain Terror Attack: Up to 15 Dead After Truck Ploughs into Crowds (satire)
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The American Declaration of Independence was written by a vile slave owner, Thomas Jefferson of Virginia. The American Constitution was written, at least in part, by vile racists and other "America Firsters." They tried, but fortunately failed, to prevent noncitizens from exercising their sacred right to vote in national elections. Both demonic documents must be repealed and we must rejoin England, nay even better the European Union, to signal our virtuous multicultural nature and emphatic rejection of all evil past and present.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgrF6OBuZc Antifa, Black Lives (only) Matter, La Raza, adherents to Islam (the Religion of Peace and tolerance), CAIR, the...
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The Babylon Bee | Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire. Organization That Murders 200,000 People Of Color Each Year Takes Stand Against Racism August 17, 2017 U.S.—Planned Parenthood, the American abortion provider that mercilessly takes the lives of approximately 200,000 innocent people of color every year, took to social media earlier this week to condemn racism in the wake of civil unrest in Charlottesville, VA. “Planned Parenthood stands with people of color and allies in the face of such appalling attacks fueled by hate,” said the update posted to the Facebook and Twitter pages of the organization which overwhelmingly...
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WORLD—In a statement that surprised nearly no one, Satan, the accuser and enemy of God and His people, paused briefly from roaming the earth seeking someone to devour Wednesday to confirm to reporters that he is responsible for the entire white supremacist movement worldwide. “Oh yeah, that’s all me. For sure,” said the wicked one Lucifer, adding that he’s “really been on a roll lately with this particular gig.” “I’m quite proud of this hell-filling racket. It’s as anti-biblical as anything can be, causing human beings made in the image of God to be seen as subhuman and expendable, but...
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Methodist minister Bill Shillady compared Hillary Clinton’s loss to Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and concluded that “it was the second worst instance of injustice in human history. In both cases we saw exemplary paragons of virtue punished for the sins of others.” Shillady predicted “a Hell on Earth under the demon that is Donald Trump,” but offered a ray of hope that “the forces of righteousness will triumph in the end. Right now, true believers are working assiduously to unseat the unholy Trump and clear the way for the ascension of...
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The Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) rallied to the defense of National Security Council (NSC) adviser Gen. H.R. McMaster this week. McMaster has come under some criticism for purging the NSC of individuals he maintains were "overly focused on an illusory Islamic threat." These included Ezra Cohen-Watnick, the NSC's senior director for intelligence programs; Rich Higgins, the NSC's director for strategic planning; and Derek Harvey, the NSC's senior director for the Middle East. Ibrahim Hooper, National Communications Director for CAIR, blamed "agents of the Zionist conspiracy for world domination" for what he characterized as "vicious attacks on an honorable...
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U.S. District Judge Gloria Navarro barred Eric Parker from mentioning the First Amendment after he took the stand to testify in his own defense in a trial stemming from the 2014 Bunkerville standoff in which ranchers confronted Bureau of Land Management officers in a dispute over grazing rights. "Once a duly authorized law enforcement action is underway the First Amendment guarantees of freedom of assembly and freedom of speech no longer apply," Navarro ruled. "Allowing a jury to hear these words would only serve to undermine the respect for authority that is essential to an orderly enforcement of the decisions...
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In May of this year, federal prosecutor Beranton Whisenant's body was found on a Hollywood, Florida beach with a gunshot wound to the head. Three months later, the Hollywood Police Department has ruled the death a suicide. Whisenant worked for the U.S. Attorney's Office in Miami in its major crimes unit. He was handling several visa and passport fraud cases in the congressional district represented by beleaguered former Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Oddly, no weapon was recovered at or near the scene. Chief of Police Tomas Sanchez admitted that "the absence of a weapon near the...
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Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif) has a simple plan for deescalating tensions between the U.S. and North Korea: “give them what they want.” She acknowledged that “we may not know specifically what that is, but surely it has to be a better option than going to war.” “Look, Korea is a small, far away country,” Waters observed. “From what I understand it is a very poor place. We could probably feed, house, and clothe everyone in it for less than it would cost to bomb them. If we could ensure Kim that all the material needs of his people could easily...
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Chafing at President Trump's very public display of frustration with the failure of the Senate to pass health insurance reform, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) blamed "excessive expectations." "Frankly, the President is out of his depth on this," McConnell maintained. "He comes from a business milieu where the emphasis is on action and results. In government the emphasis is on process." The Majority Leader offered to "explain the process in terms that even Mr. Trump can understand. In the Senate we have agreements that both Parties abide by. All the repeals of Obamacare that we passed were guaranteed to be...
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Documents obtained through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request cast a long shadow of doubt over the official version of events surrounding the "chance meeting" between former President Bill Clinton and Obama Administration Attorney General Loretta Lynch in June 2016. The official story that the meeting was a random occurrence and that the discussion was an innocent chat about grandchildren and golf was severely damaged by correspondence among Department of Justice personnel. For one, the correspondence was heavily redacted. Redaction is justified when sensitive personal data (like Social Security numbers or home addresses) or classified information might be exposed....
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(Cullowhee, NC) Preparations for the the upcoming August 21st solar eclipse are in high gear at Western Carolina University. The school is located within the zone of totality in the mountainous part of the state. Afternoon classes will be cancelled and festivities on the Central Plaza will include Native American moon dancers, performance art and the Tasty Tofu Taco Truck, locally known as T4. But there are some students who will be refusing the eclipse and have demanded the University provide a safe space for them during the event. So far three groups have separately approached University officials with concerns...
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After the failure of the Senate to repeal Obamacare, a frustrated President Trump's threat to reverse President Obama's executive action exempting members of congress from having to live under the same regulations that apply to ordinary citizens forced into Obamacare brought howls of rage from Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT). "We are members of government," Murphy fulminated. "For Trump to vindictively throw us into the pit with the common people violates the unwritten rule against one segment of this elite group harming the privileges of another. It would renege on the bipartisanship exhibited by President Obama in even handedly extending the...
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Half of the eight candidates for mayor on Detroit's Democratic primary ballot have been previously convicted criminals. Donna Marie Pitts has multiple felony convictions dating back to 1977. Danetta Simpson has a 1996 felony conviction for assault with intent to murder. Articia Bomer was charged in 2008 with carrying a concealed weapon. In 2004, Curtis Christopher Greene was sentenced to 18 months' probation under the Holmes Youthful Trainee Act for dealing marijuana and in 2005 plead guilty to writing a fraudulent check. Pitts called her conviction stemming from a shoot out at an auto repair shop "an honest disagreement over...
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