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A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money .... he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Missoula that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says "and I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the...

Full Title: Analysts Predict Biggest Christmas Church Shopping Season Ever; Churches sharpen seasonal services to nab annual worshipers ANNAPOLIS, MD – Christine Eagen sits at the table in her neatly decorated suburban dining room with an open phone book, a wall calendar, a notepad and a laptop. She circles church listings in the phone book with a red sharpie, visits their Web sites on her laptop and pencils in their names on her calendar between November 25th and December 24th, all the while taking copious notes. “There are so many churches in the area, and we have such a limited...

VATICAN CITY — In a surprise move, the Vatican announced late Thursday that while priests cannot marry, they can date. “We invite priests to test the singles market, as long as they keep it above the neck and don’t make long-term commitments,” says a spokesman. A dozen priest-dating sites with names like EverDating.com sprung up immediately, with tens of thousands of priests offering photos and descriptions of their likes and dislikes to potential paramours. Most offered a disclaimer that said they could develop a significant platonic relationship, but marriage was off limits. “It’s completely natural for men and women to...

Bob: "Did you hear about the Obama administration scandal...? Jim: "You mean the Mexican gun running?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "You mean SEAL Team 6?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "You mean the State Dept. lying about Benghazi ?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "You mean voter fraud?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "You mean that 3 or 4 of Obama's GAY friends were mysteriously MURDERED when they came forward with claims he was gay too?" Bob: "No, the other...

New Jersey governor Chris Christie, a Republican, is on his way to winning big in his bid for reelection Tuesday, and there's already talk he may be on his way to running for president in three years. Speaking to CNN's Jake Tapper, Christie argued he's not a moderate as he's sometimes portrayed. "I'm a conservative," Christie told Tapper. "I've governed as a conservative in this state, and I think that's led to some people disagreeing with me in our state, because it's generally a left-of-center, blue state."

Former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist will launch his gubernatorial campaign this morning at a public rally to be held at Albert Whitted Park near his St. Petersburg home. "I'm looking forward to Monday and making it official in every way," Crist said on Friday. "I just hope that the message that we deliver will lift Florida's spirits and let her know that there's a brighter future tomorrow. And it's coming."

The joke in question came from the Bluff the Listener segment of the show Saturday, in which an audience member was asked to identify which of three stories about an old joke coming true had been taken from that week's headlines. Peter Grosz, an actor and TV writer who has appeared as a panelist and guest host on "Wait Wait," offered a supposed news item referencing a joke asking how many Poles it takes to screw in a light bulb.

Norwegian store forced to apologise for stocking realistic human limbs in its frozen meat section as part of a Halloween joke A Norwegian shop has been forced to apologise to children and their families after it packed realistic looking severed plastic hands and feet in butchers' plastic trays and sold them as part of its Halloween collection.Furious parents were horrified when they discovered the severed limbs in the meat freezers which terrified children looking for Halloween costumes and decorations.Europris, which has stores across Norway, has now been forced to withdraw the range of fake, shrink-wrapped body parts.

Published on Aug 7, 2013 Mattress Firm Commercial

The U.S. and Iran held their highest-level talks in 36 years on Thursday, in what some officials present described as a substantial meeting over Tehran's disputed nuclear program that could begin to counter decades of enmity. In the session, diplomats began the process of trying to establish programs to inspect, verify and curtail Iran's expanding nuclear complex, a process diplomats on both sides warned was arduous and uncertain.

If you've ever wanted to spice up your PTA meetings or work retreats with some clean jokes, a recently published collection of quips by Lakewood Church pastor Joel Osteen should help you out. According to Andrea Davis, a spokeswoman for Lakewood, the church did not sign off on "Joel Osteen Jokes" or publish the book. Davis said the church is reviewing the book to see if it is infringing on any of Lakewood's copyrights.

Susan Rice Will Brief Congress on Syria on Anniversary of Benghazi September 8, 2013 - 2:36 PM By Terence P. Jeffrey (CNSNews.com) - Susan Rice, who falsely told the nation that the terrorist attacks in Benghazi on Sept. 11, 2012 had developed out of a spontaneous demonstration against a YouTube video, will mark the one year anniversary of those attacks by briefing Congress to make the administration's case for authorizing President Barack Obama to use military force in Syria. The administration has decided to make Rice a key point person for pushing military intervention in Syria. On Monday, Rice will...

WINSTON-SALEM — Julie and Bob Clark were stunned to receive a letter from their church in July asking them to “participate in the life of the church” — or worship elsewhere. “They basically called us freeloaders,” says Julie. “We were freeloaders,” says Bob. In a trend that may signal rough times for wallflower Christians, bellwether mega-church Faith Community of Winston-Salem has asked “non-participating members” to stop attending. “No more Mr. Nice Church,” says the executive pastor, newly hired from Cingular Wireless. “Bigger is not always better. Providing free services indefinitely to complacent Christians is not our mission.” “Freeloading” Christians were...

A group of veteran security experts and former White House officials has been selected to conduct a full review of U.S. surveillance programs and other secret government efforts disclosed over recent months, ABC News has learned. The recent acting head of the CIA, Michael Morell, will be among what President Obama called a “high-level group of outside experts” scrutinizing the controversial programs. Joining Morell on the panel will be former White House officials Richard Clarke, Cass Sunstein and Peter Swire. An announcement is expected Thursday, a source with knowledge of the matter told ABC News’ Jon Karl....

The White House’s deputy press secretary today downplayed Muslim attacks on Christians in Egypt, joking about the savagery that has left at least six Christians dead. Press secretary Josh Earnest was asked by Fox News’ correspondent, Ed Henry, if President Barack Obama has a “red line” beyond which he would act against Muslim attacks on Egyptian Christians. “Well, I didn’t bring my red pen out with me today,” Earnest joked. fter making his joke, Earnest said the administration is “outraged… and concerned” about the Muslim attacks on almost 100 churches, monasteries, orphanages and other marked Christian sites. Many Christians’ shops...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand... Two cowboys applied for the job: one was gay, and the other a drunk.  She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.  He soon proved to be a hard worker...

Missouri State Fair officials and politicians on Sunday condemned the performance of a rodeo clown who donned a mask resembling President Barack Obama during Saturday’s bull riding competition. A tempest over the incident erupted after the website Show Me Progress reported a Facebook account of it.

Action-packed fun for the whole family... More/links at Reaganite Republican... __________________________________________________________ TheHillaryProject    h/t BigFurHat

In a stunning move, NJ Chris Christie announced to a group of supporters with former President Clinton that he would seek reelection in 2014 as a democrat. The move comes after months of odd behavior from the former NJ republican.