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Keyword: joke

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  • Renewables Won’t Save Us If The Electric Grid Is Not Ready

    10/06/2020 5:42:28 PM PDT · by RomanSoldier19 · 16 replies
    https://www.forbes.com ^ | Sep 30, 2020 | David BlackmonSenior Contributor
    In recent weeks, the media landscape has been awash with stories declaring the beginning of the end of the age of hydrocarbons in America and around the world. The facts on the ground, however, paint a different story. As of this year, renewable generation accounted for only 17.5% of the US’ energy mix. While Deloitte predicts this number will grow to just shy of 50% by 2050, it would be naïve to assume that fossil fuels won’t continue to play a significant role in our lives for the foreseeable future. The road to the energy system of the future is...
  • Mark Kelly apologizes for offensive 2018 joke

    09/10/2020 12:26:23 PM PDT · by yesthatjallen · 69 replies
    The Hill ^ | 09 10 2020 | Zack Budryk
    Arizona Senate candidate Mark Kelly (D) on Thursday apologized for an offensive joke he made in 2018 while discussing his brother’s return from space. Kelly, a retired astronaut, addressed the Boy Scouts of America, Northern New Jersey Council in 2018. During a Q&A portion, Kelly was asked about physiological changes his brother Scott Kelly, also an astronaut, underwent after returning. “It’s gotten so bad, that we recently had to release him back into the wild,” Mark Kelly quipped, adding, “He’s like halfway between an orangutan and a Howler Monkey. We’ve even changed his name to Rodrigo. He lives in the...
  • ‘Thank You California For Protecting The Grid Again’: ISO Lifts Stage 2 Emergency

    09/06/2020 10:06:03 PM PDT · by RomanSoldier19 · 16 replies
    https://www.msn.com/ ^ | 9/7/2020 | Syndicated Local – CBS Los Angeles
    The California Independent System Operator, which oversees the operation of California’s bulk electric power system, lifted a Stage 2 Emergency on Sunday night and thanked residents for their efforts toward conservation. “Thank you California for protecting the grid again,” ISO said in an announcement on Twitter. A Stage 2 Emergency, which had been declared briefly both Saturday and Sunday, means the “ISO has taken all mitigating actions and is no longer able to provide its expected energy requirements.”
  • Police Do Care

    09/04/2020 3:41:20 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 7 replies
    email from friend | 9/4/2020 | unknown
    The police department in the small hill country town of Kerrville, Texas, reported finding a man's body last Saturday, in the early evening, in the Pedernales River near the state highway-87 bridge. The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in Fredericksburg. When he was found, he was wearing black fishnet stockings, 10 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzel dust on his eyelids, 2 1/2 inch false eyelashes, and a Biden T-shirt. The police removed...
  • Ok the world is officially in the seven years tribulation

    08/31/2020 5:02:32 PM PDT · by Secret Agent Man · 44 replies
    Loretta Lynn and Kid Rock got married to each other Jesus has to come back soon, this i one of the 7 signs No, but cmon its weird as he11
  • Diageo to launch Johnnie Walker whisky in paper bottles in 2021

    07/14/2020 1:02:21 AM PDT · by RomanSoldier19 · 24 replies
    Reuters ^ | 7/14/2020 | Reuters
    Johnnie Walker scotch whisky will be available in plastic-free bottles from early 2021, Diageo Plc said on Monday, as the world’s biggest spirits maker ramps up efforts to tackle plastic waste. The new bottle, developed in partnership with venture management company Pilot Lite, will be made from wood pulp that meets food grade standards and is fully recyclable, the Guinness and Tanqueray Gin maker said. Diageo and Pilot Lite have launched a sustainable packaging company called Pulpex Ltd to develop the paper bottle and collaborate on research and development. Pulpex will also create branded paper-bottles in non-competing categories for companies...
  • A Quickie

    06/19/2020 10:38:55 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 17 replies
    email from Republican friend | 6/19/2020 | unknown
    A union boss walks into a bar from the factory next door, and is about to order a beer, when he sees a guy at the far end of the bar wearing a "TRUMP, Make America Great Again" cap with a mug of beer sitting in front of him. The union boss doesn't need to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican, so he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender.... but not for the 'Republican." Soon after the drinks have been passed out, the Republican...
  • Strange: This Antifa Rioter Has Yet To Redistribute His Loot To The Less Fortunate

    06/09/2020 8:04:28 PM PDT · by tbw2 · 9 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | June 3rd, 2020 | Babylon Bee
    AUSTIN, TX—Aiden Hamilton, an Antifa rioter who looted a local Target store, gleefully took all the great stuff he stole and moved it into his parents' garage, selfishly refusing to redistribute his haul equally among oppressed people groups. Weird but true!
  • Little old lady with guns.

    06/04/2020 4:37:15 AM PDT · by ChuckR163 · 5 replies
    me
    A police officer pulls over an old lady in a car. He approaches her and asks for her driver's license and insurance. The he asks: "Do you have any weapons in the car?" Little Old Lady: Why yes, I have a .38 in my purse. Officer: Ok, do you have any other weapons in the car? LOL: Yes, There's this gun in the glove compartment. Officer: Hmm. Do you have any other weapons in the car ma'am? LOL: Well there's this .50 cal pistol under the seat. Officer: Lady, why do you have all these guns? What are you afraid...
  • Biden Campaign Releases Theme Song

    06/01/2020 8:17:37 AM PDT · by hiho hiho · 23 replies
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTM40o3WgZo
  • Up, Up and Away! World's largest all-electric aircraft takes to the skies for the first time making a 30-minute flight over Washington State-(100 mile range...)

    05/28/2020 11:36:48 AM PDT · by RomanSoldier19 · 189 replies
    Up, Up and Away! World's largest all-electric aircraft takes to the skies for the first time making a 30-minute flight over Washington State A single test pilot flew the all-electric aircraft over Moses Lake in Washington MagniX have added their 750-watt electric motor to a Cessna Grand Caravan It can seat up to nine people and required few changes to make it all electric They hope to have a 100-mile range commercial version on sale in 2021
  • Cuomo orders NYC subway trains sanitized every night

    04/29/2020 1:30:08 PM PDT · by RomanSoldier19 · 61 replies
    https://thehill.com/h ^ | 04/29/20 02:18 PM EDT | BY MARTY JOHNSON
    New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) on Wednesday ordered that all New York City subway cars be cleaned every night by Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) workers to ensure the safety of essential personnel during the coronavirus pandemic. “Any essential worker who shows up and gets on a train should know that that train was disinfected the night before,” Cuomo told reporters at his daily coronavirus press briefing. “Letting them endanger their own life and endanger the lives of others is not helping anyone,” Cuomo said. The governor said that he wants the MTA to present to him a plan for...
  • White House Coronavirus Press Conference questions leaked.

    04/07/2020 5:59:14 AM PDT · by McGruff · 15 replies
    Twitter ^ | 4/7/2020
    BREAKING: Someone hacked Twitter and posted the questions to be asked at today's White House Coronavirus Press Conference. Video at link.
  • Squirrels

    04/06/2020 4:37:59 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 58 replies
    email from a friend | 4/6/2020 | unknown
    The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Lutheran church decided that they were not in...
  • Former President Joe Biden Joins Trump Administration As Medical Procurement Czar.

    04/02/2020 10:26:55 AM PDT · by Captain Peter Blood · 43 replies
    Self | 04-02-2020 | Captain Peter Blood
    BREAKING NEWS: President Trump and Former VP Joe Biden spoke on the phone last night to discuss the Coronavirus Crisis. Mr. Biden brought up a number of concerns and suggestions. President Trump assured Mr. Biden that most of his suggestions had already been addressed and that everything that could be done was already in place. Mr. Biden offered his services to help in the crisis and the President told him that there was one critical area he might be able to help. President Trump indicated that with all of the urgent priorities his administration was dealing with there was one...
  • Autonomous Cars Struggle in Snow, but MIT Has a Solution for That

    02/26/2020 10:40:34 AM PST · by RomanSoldier19 · 68 replies
    car and no driver ^ | FEB 25, 2020 | By Colin Beresford
    Bad weather can render the cameras and lidar on self-driving cars useless. Researchers at MIT suggest ground-penetrating radar as the fix.
  • Laugh List

    02/20/2020 3:46:18 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 18 replies
    Punme | 2/20/20 | unknown
    1.Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over. 2.I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. 3.I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. 4.My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. 5.I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed. 6.My boss told me to have a good day.. so...
  • Trump’s Budget Proposal Would Kill Loans for EV Projects, Including Lordstown Motors

    02/11/2020 9:54:25 PM PST · by RomanSoldier19 · 42 replies
    Car and Driver• ^ | February 10, 2020 | Colin Beresford ,Car and Driver•
    President Trump's budget would eliminate the Advanced Technology Vehicles Manufacturing Loan Program, an Energy Department initiative to lend money to retool factories and advance the progress of electric-vehicle manufacturing.
  • Impeachment Joke

    02/05/2020 2:23:24 PM PST · by DouglasKC · 19 replies
    Freerepublic ^ | Today | self
    What do the Dems call an impeached but acquitted Donald Trump? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mr. President!
  • Some Irish Humor

    02/04/2020 2:43:57 AM PST · by sodpoodle · 35 replies
    email from a friend | 2/4/2020 | unknown
    An Irishman's first drink with his son While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe he'd like whisky better than beer so we tried...