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Best Gay Cowboy Joke Ever
Reaganite Republican ^ | 16 August 2013 | Reaganite Republican

Posted on 08/16/2013 12:11:55 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican



A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand...

Two cowboys applied for the job: one was gay, and the other a drunk. 

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. 

He soon proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. 

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kickup your heels." 

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. 

1:00 am came, however, and he didn't return.

2:00 and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around 2:30, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,
waiting for him. 

She quietly called him over to her and said
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off."


Trembling, he did as she directed. 

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. 

"Now take off my socks..."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. 

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. 

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said- 

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"




   -h/t Kirby-




TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: funny; gay; humor; joke

1 posted on 08/16/2013 12:11:55 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: AdvisorB; ken5050; sten; paythefiddler; gattaca; bayliving; SeminoleCounty; chesley; Vendome; ...

*** PING ***


2 posted on 08/16/2013 12:12:51 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: Reaganite Republican

Okay, that’s pretty good.


3 posted on 08/16/2013 12:16:44 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: Reaganite Republican

4 posted on 08/16/2013 12:17:15 PM PDT by Bratch
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To: Reaganite Republican

ha ha

good one!


5 posted on 08/16/2013 12:17:16 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( ==> sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: Reaganite Republican
You don't give it away in the title.
6 posted on 08/16/2013 12:17:52 PM PDT by heartwood
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To: Reaganite Republican

(-:


7 posted on 08/16/2013 12:21:00 PM PDT by MeganC (A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and don't have one, you'll never need one again.)
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To: Reaganite Republican

OK heres why he was late;

Ya know how to get 4 homo cowboys on a bar stool???
Turn it upside down!


8 posted on 08/16/2013 12:22:46 PM PDT by CGASMIA68
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To: Reaganite Republican

LOL!


9 posted on 08/16/2013 12:24:08 PM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: Reaganite Republican

LOL! Good one.


10 posted on 08/16/2013 12:29:41 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Former Rodeo Clown Sensitivity Training class valedictorian.)
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To: Reaganite Republican
No Panties! Ye Haa!
11 posted on 08/16/2013 12:31:41 PM PDT by Young Werther (Julius Caesar said "Quae cum ita sunt. Since these things are so.".)
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To: Fiji Hill

I think this one is better:

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he
realizes it’s a gay
bar.

“What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a
drink.”

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy,
“What’s the name of your willy?”

The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All
I want is a drink.”

The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you
until you tell me
the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called
NIKE, for the slogan
‘Just Do It.’ That guy down at the end of the bar
calls his SNICKERS,
because ‘It really Satisfies.’ “

The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells
him he will give him a second to think it over. So the
cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping
on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?”

The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.”

The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?”

The fella proudly replies, “ ‘Cause it takes a lickin’
and keeps on
tickin!’

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his
right, who happen
to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what
do you guys call
yours?”

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims,
“FORD, because “’Quality is Job One” “ Then he adds,
“Have you driven a Ford lately?”

The guy next to him then says, “I call mine
CHEVY.....’Like a Rock!’ And
gives a wink!

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment
before he comes up with a name for his manhood.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims “The
name of my willy is SECRET. Now give
me a beer.”

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but
with a puzzled look asks “Why Secret?”

The cowboy says, “Because it’s ‘STRONG ENOUGH FOR A
MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!!!!!


12 posted on 08/16/2013 12:32:59 PM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (The reason we own guns is to protect ourselves from those wanting to take our guns from us.)
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To: Reaganite Republican

Very good! I have one too. The best gay cowboy joke ever is Obama wearing a Stetson.


13 posted on 08/16/2013 12:33:47 PM PDT by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: Reaganite Republican
What is the most common thing heard in a gay Cowboy bar?

"Can I push your stool in for you?"

14 posted on 08/16/2013 12:36:52 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Mastador1
Gay cowboy:


15 posted on 08/16/2013 12:38:07 PM PDT by GOP_Party_Animal
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To: Reaganite Republican

Bahaha!


16 posted on 08/16/2013 12:39:18 PM PDT by Batman11 (Obama is not American.. he has no clue what it is to be American.)
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To: Reaganite Republican
Best Gay Cowboy Joke Ever

I thought that was Tony Romo. (ducking for cover)

17 posted on 08/16/2013 12:40:09 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: GOP_Party_Animal

Hate crime alert


18 posted on 08/16/2013 12:40:24 PM PDT by CGASMIA68
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To: dfwgator

Uhhhh....

rhymes with?


19 posted on 08/16/2013 12:46:34 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: EQAndyBuzz

I like that.

There was the local sitting at the Silver Dollar Bar in Jackson Hole, when this cute young gal from California comes in.

“Oh my gawd - are you a REAL cowboy”.

“Um, why yes I am maam. And what are you?”

“I’m a lesbian!”

“A lesbian, what in tarnation is a lesbian?”

“You know. I like girls. I like EVERYTHING about girls. Their smooth skin, soft hair, supple lips, delicate hands. I just love girls.”

“Well hell, I thought I was a cowboy, but I guess I’m a lesbian too!”


20 posted on 08/16/2013 12:47:03 PM PDT by 21twelve ("We've got the guns, and we got the numbers" adapted and revised from Jim M.)
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To: t1b8zs

I am having a case of Forbidden Laughter! LOL. Talk about Blazing Saddles, why don’cha!


21 posted on 08/16/2013 12:47:40 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: Reaganite Republican

OMG! Never saw that one coming, LOL!


22 posted on 08/16/2013 12:48:54 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: 21twelve

From email on 03/15/13

“Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

“Hey Baby.....whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”

She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”

While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” George also didn’t want to miss this “be-a-legend” opportunity either so he asked ...”Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed. “


23 posted on 08/16/2013 12:52:44 PM PDT by GOYAKLA (Waiting for the Golden Screw to be removed from Obama's navel and his a$$ falls off!)
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To: EQAndyBuzz

:)


24 posted on 08/16/2013 12:59:07 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: GOP_Party_Animal

I guess the broom was playing Reggie Love that day.


25 posted on 08/16/2013 1:00:01 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Reaganite Republican

Haaaaaa!


26 posted on 08/16/2013 1:01:04 PM PDT by MEGoody (You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: dfwgator
I thought that was Tony Romo.


27 posted on 08/16/2013 1:01:13 PM PDT by Servant of the Cross (the Truth will set you free)
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To: Reaganite Republican

I didn’t see that coming.


28 posted on 08/16/2013 1:03:54 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Reaganite Republican; Lazamataz
Brokeback Mountain II (The Sequel)

Rated two thumbs up by movie reviewer Laz ....

29 posted on 08/16/2013 1:05:31 PM PDT by Servant of the Cross (the Truth will set you free)
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To: Reaganite Republican

LOLOLOL! snort)))))) :)


30 posted on 08/16/2013 1:08:35 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: Reaganite Republican
the cattle ranch was located about twenty miles away from town and on pay day, a few of the old timers on the ranch would hop into the Model A and head to town for some fun and drinks. This was the norm for years and they were always back on the ranch and up the next morning at 5 AM ready for work. On this Sunday morning, they weren't back so the other ranch hands started the day without them and worked until the lunch bell rang. After lunch, they still weren't back. Long about 3 PM here they came walking up the dirt road and looking pretty shabby and hung over. The boss met them in the barn yard and asked where the hell they've been and where's the car? Buster started out, well Mr. Brown, you included our bonuses with our pay checks so we all drank more than usual. We left town in plenty of time to get back to the ranch but Deeder was driven and he kept running off the side of the road and the right rear tires went flat on us. We all got out, George jacked up the back of the car and you know that old car, both back tires come off the ground when its on the jack. Well, we changed the tire and got back in the car and we were going along, for hours it seemed and then Deeder tells us we are almost out of gas and about right then the motor quit on us. We were still too drunk so we decided we'd just sleep for a bit. Next thing we know, the sun is blazing and we knew we were late for work. We all got out of the car and dad blameit, would you know it, the car was still on the jack.
31 posted on 08/16/2013 1:09:31 PM PDT by drypowder
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To: GOP_Party_Animal

That’s pretty bad

I love it lol


32 posted on 08/16/2013 1:12:47 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: EQAndyBuzz

NOT bad lol


33 posted on 08/16/2013 1:13:57 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

This one sets itself up, heh


34 posted on 08/16/2013 1:15:10 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: Servant of the Cross

ANYTHING’s better than the original- but, yeah this looks pretty good lol


35 posted on 08/16/2013 1:20:21 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: t1b8zs

Sure it’s not racist? I mean we seem to be applying that to everything these days. Except angry white men.


36 posted on 08/16/2013 1:24:12 PM PDT by rktman (Inergalactic background checks? King hussein you're first up.)
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bump


37 posted on 08/16/2013 1:41:00 PM PDT by Texican72
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To: GOYAKLA

Rated two chuckles and a snort.


38 posted on 08/16/2013 1:46:03 PM PDT by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: Reaganite Republican
I guess it's finally time for me to come out of the closet, here on FR for the first time:

I am a lesbian, trapped in a man's body.

39 posted on 08/16/2013 1:48:56 PM PDT by mikeus_maximus
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To: mikeus_maximus

Lots of us on FR are male lesbians. El Rushbo is a male lesbian.

It’s the only politically correct way to be attracted toward women.

Of course, with that new law in California lots of male lesbians will announce that they are sexually comfortable only in the girls’ locker room, so stay tuned.


40 posted on 08/16/2013 1:58:00 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: elcid1970
Of course, with that new law in California lots of male lesbians will announce that they are sexually comfortable only in the girls’ locker room, so stay tuned.

LOL....ummm... do you think that would work?

41 posted on 08/16/2013 2:04:58 PM PDT by mikeus_maximus
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To: Reaganite Republican

Good joke!


42 posted on 08/16/2013 2:12:42 PM PDT by I want the USA back
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To: mikeus_maximus

Yet another example of the Law of Unintended Consequences, brought to you by Governor Moonbeam, where giving legal standing to a brand new subset of “victims of discrimination and/or exclusion” will only guarantee that lawsuits will soon be coming out of the woodwork.

;^)


43 posted on 08/16/2013 2:16:05 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: GOP_Party_Animal

Chocolate bar with a broomstick for a handle.


44 posted on 08/16/2013 3:13:34 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Sometimes you need 7+ more ammo. LOTS MORE.)
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To: Reaganite Republican
A cowboy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I`m so thirsty, I could drink the sweat off a bull`s b@lls!”.

A gay guy down on the end of the bar looks up and says, “Well, moo, moo, buckaroo.”

45 posted on 08/16/2013 4:51:21 PM PDT by nomad
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