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Best Gay Cowboy Joke Ever
Reaganite Republican ^
| 16 August 2013
| Reaganite Republican
Posted on 08/16/2013 12:11:55 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand...
Two cowboys applied for the job: one was gay, and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He soon proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kickup your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
1:00 am came, however, and he didn't return. 2:00 and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around 2:30, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,
waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her and said
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off."
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks..." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said-
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
-h/t Kirby-
TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: funny; gay; humor; joke
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To: AdvisorB; ken5050; sten; paythefiddler; gattaca; bayliving; SeminoleCounty; chesley; Vendome; ...
To: Reaganite Republican
Okay, that’s pretty good.
To: Reaganite Republican
4
posted on
08/16/2013 12:17:15 PM PDT
by
Bratch
To: Reaganite Republican
5
posted on
08/16/2013 12:17:16 PM PDT
by
smokingfrog
( ==> sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
To: Reaganite Republican
You don't give it away in the title.
6
posted on
08/16/2013 12:17:52 PM PDT
by
heartwood
To: Reaganite Republican
7
posted on
08/16/2013 12:21:00 PM PDT
by
MeganC
(A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and don't have one, you'll never need one again.)
To: Reaganite Republican
OK heres why he was late;
Ya know how to get 4 homo cowboys on a bar stool???
Turn it upside down!
8
posted on
08/16/2013 12:22:46 PM PDT
by
CGASMIA68
To: Reaganite Republican
9
posted on
08/16/2013 12:24:08 PM PDT
by
Fiji Hill
To: Reaganite Republican
10
posted on
08/16/2013 12:29:41 PM PDT
by
FlingWingFlyer
(Former Rodeo Clown Sensitivity Training class valedictorian.)
To: Reaganite Republican
No Panties! Ye Haa!
11
posted on
08/16/2013 12:31:41 PM PDT
by
Young Werther
(Julius Caesar said "Quae cum ita sunt. Since these things are so.".)
To: Fiji Hill
I think this one is better:
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he
realizes it’s a gay
bar.
“What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a
drink.”
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy,
“What’s the name of your willy?”
The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All
I want is a drink.”
The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you
until you tell me
the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called
NIKE, for the slogan
‘Just Do It.’ That guy down at the end of the bar
calls his SNICKERS,
because ‘It really Satisfies.’ “
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells
him he will give him a second to think it over. So the
cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping
on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?”
The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.”
The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?”
The fella proudly replies, “ ‘Cause it takes a lickin’
and keeps on
tickin!’
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his
right, who happen
to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what
do you guys call
yours?”
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims,
“FORD, because “’Quality is Job One” “ Then he adds,
“Have you driven a Ford lately?”
The guy next to him then says, “I call mine
CHEVY.....’Like a Rock!’ And
gives a wink!
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment
before he comes up with a name for his manhood.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims “The
name of my willy is SECRET. Now give
me a beer.”
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but
with a puzzled look asks “Why Secret?”
The cowboy says, “Because it’s ‘STRONG ENOUGH FOR A
MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!!!!!
12
posted on
08/16/2013 12:32:59 PM PDT
by
EQAndyBuzz
(The reason we own guns is to protect ourselves from those wanting to take our guns from us.)
To: Reaganite Republican
Very good! I have one too. The best gay cowboy joke ever is Obama wearing a Stetson.
13
posted on
08/16/2013 12:33:47 PM PDT
by
Mastador1
(I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
To: Reaganite Republican
What is the most common thing heard in a gay Cowboy bar?
"Can I push your stool in for you?"
14
posted on
08/16/2013 12:36:52 PM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
To: Mastador1
Gay cowboy:
To: Reaganite Republican
16
posted on
08/16/2013 12:39:18 PM PDT
by
Batman11
(Obama is not American.. he has no clue what it is to be American.)
To: Reaganite Republican
Best Gay Cowboy Joke EverI thought that was Tony Romo. (ducking for cover)
17
posted on
08/16/2013 12:40:09 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
To: GOP_Party_Animal
To: dfwgator
19
posted on
08/16/2013 12:46:34 PM PDT
by
Cletus.D.Yokel
(Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
To: EQAndyBuzz
I like that.
There was the local sitting at the Silver Dollar Bar in Jackson Hole, when this cute young gal from California comes in.
“Oh my gawd - are you a REAL cowboy”.
“Um, why yes I am maam. And what are you?”
“I’m a lesbian!”
“A lesbian, what in tarnation is a lesbian?”
“You know. I like girls. I like EVERYTHING about girls. Their smooth skin, soft hair, supple lips, delicate hands. I just love girls.”
“Well hell, I thought I was a cowboy, but I guess I’m a lesbian too!”
20
posted on
08/16/2013 12:47:03 PM PDT
by
21twelve
("We've got the guns, and we got the numbers" adapted and revised from Jim M.)
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