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Keyword: humor

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  • New York Times Admits Giant Banner Honoring Mao May Have Been Inappropriate

    09/13/2019 1:24:58 AM PDT · by Norski · 23 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | September 10, 2019 | staff
    NEW YORK, NY—In honor of the anniversary of Chairman Mao Zedong's death, The New York Times unfurled a giant, 50-foot-wide banner honoring the "brave revolutionary" outside its New York offices Monday. After public outcry, they admitted this might have been "slightly inappropriate." "While we stand by our decision to honor one of history's great men, we admit the banner lacked important historical context," said one Times editor. "While his ideas were morally right, they factually killed a bunch of people, and that's not something we wanted to promote. Unless you're killing yourself to combat climate change." Paper executives considered adding...
  • EXCLUSIVE: I have obtained a copy of @realDonaldTrump’s letter to #Erdogan. (Trish Regan)

    10/16/2019 2:12:51 PM PDT · by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget · 164 replies
    Twitter via ^ | October 16, 2019 | Trish Regan
  • Blair Jokes About His Family (and Beard) on Wheel of Fortune (Funny)

    10/16/2019 7:26:43 AM PDT · by grayboots · 8 replies
    Youtube ^ | 10/15/2019 | Wheel of Fortune
    We appreciate a stark sense of humor. Blair had us all laughing last night.

    10/12/2019 9:07:54 AM PDT · by Hojczyk · 4 replies
    Powerline ^ | OCTOBER 12 | STEVEN HAYWARD
    There’s a meme that I think I used once here a long while ago, showing a bunch of candles, with the legend: “What did socialists use before candles? Electricity.” This came back to me flying into San Francisco last night from the north, and looking out the window at parts of the state that used to be civilized (i.e., lit with electricity). Welcome to Bolifornia—or is it Calivia? The fun part is all the smug Tesla drivers who can’t charge their cars. (My power has remained on, but I do live in a zone where it might get cut off....
  • Tempers flare as millions in California endure power outages from PG&E

    10/10/2019 6:54:32 AM PDT · by C19fan · 179 replies
    LA Times ^ | October 10. 2019 | Taryn Luna, Maria L. La Ganga, Patrick McGreevy, Joseph Serna
    Classes were canceled. Frozen foods melted. Hospitals switched to emergency generators. Blooms withered in florists’ coolers. Unused food was jettisoned at shuttered restaurants. Lines formed at gas stations. Cellphones faded out. That’s what happened Wednesday when the state’s largest utility shut off power to millions of Californians in a drastic attempt to avoid the killer wildfires that have charred hundreds of thousands of acres, caused billions of dollars in damage and spurred cries for widespread change in how electricity is delivered over the state’s aging grid.
  • Group Therapy

    10/08/2019 2:59:20 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 11 replies
    email | 10/8/2019 | unknown
    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions!" he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the third Mom, Joyce : "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Carol, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and...
  • Trump asked about shooting legs...wanted a 'trench with deadly reptiles'

    10/01/2019 11:19:04 PM PDT · by familyop · 36 replies
    Fox News ^ | October 1, 2019 | Joseph A. Wulfsohn
    "Privately, the president had often talked about fortifying a border wall with a water-filled trench, stocked with snakes or alligators, prompting aides to seek a cost estimate. He wanted the wall electrified, with spikes on top that could pierce human flesh," the excerpt read. "After publicly suggesting that soldiers shoot migrants if they threw rocks, the president backed off when his staff told him that was illegal. But later in a meeting, aides recalled, he suggested that they shoot migrants in the legs to slow them down. That’s not allowed either, they told him."
  • Florida woman cited for biting a camel at Louisiana truck stop

    09/24/2019 8:15:17 AM PDT · by Red Badger · 36 replies ^ | Updated: Sep 24, 2019 - 11:02 AM | By: Kelcie Willis
    GROSSE TETE, La. - A woman bit a camel in defense after she reportedly went into its truck stop zoo enclosure to get her dog. The Advocate reported Iberville Parish Sheriff's Office officials said the woman's husband threw dog treats under Caspar the camel's fence Wednesday night at a Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, Louisiana. The dog went under the fence to get the treats inside Caspar's enclosure, where he is kept as an attraction, The Associated Press reported. According to police documents obtained by The Advocate, Gloria Lancaster, 68, and Edmond Lancaster, 73, from Milton, Florida, let their...
  • Prodigal Son Kicked Back Out After Old Tweets Surface

    09/26/2019 2:38:26 PM PDT · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 10 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | August 19, 2019 | The Babylon Bee
    ISRAEL—There was a certain man who had two sons, and the younger son demanded his inheritance and then wasted it all in a distant country. When the son came crawling back, begging for forgiveness, the father made a huge celebration to mark the return of his prodigal son. But that celebration was cut short when old tweets the younger son had written surfaced, some of which were characterized as racist. Though the son apologized for those tweets as well, he was immediately kicked out of the house. “He was dead and is alive again,” the father said, “but is now...
  • Air Force testing vegan napalm

    09/25/2019 12:00:37 PM PDT · by PROCON · 54 replies ^ | Sept. 25, 2019
    EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. — The U.S. Air Force is testing an improved,vegan version of the classic Cold War throwback weapon napalm, according to Air Force officials. The new weapon is expected to be able to burn the enemies of the United States to death while assuaging serious moral and environmental concerns. “Napalm is just a mix of a gelling agent and a volatile petrochemical,” said Louie Fleischer, a supervisory technical support specialist with the 96th Test Wing. “Historically, we’ve used animal-based gels. But now that the Department of Defense systemically rejects the commodity status of animals, we are...
  • Why Bill Burr’s Jokes Targeting Feminism Are Pro-Woman

    09/23/2019 8:37:29 AM PDT · by TomServo · 18 replies
    The Federalist ^ | 9/23/2019 | Ellie Bufkin
    Comedy specials have become a bugle call for herds of people looking for reasons to be offended and to demand the end of a celebrity’s career. They have also become a “safe space” for people who like to laugh at politically incorrect humor and provide relief from a life where saying what you really mean is incredibly risky. Bill Burr’s “Paper Tiger” is no exception, delivering a swift kick straight into the hornet’s nest of strident feminism. In his hour-long Netflix special, Burr is undaunted by the recent backlash against all forms of comedy by people who seem affronted by...
  • Schlep (Uber Parody)

    09/20/2019 6:56:57 PM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 5 replies
    You Tube ^ | 11/24/14 | Bustle
    Oy vey! It seems like every other day a new on-demand car service pops up, with another outrageous promo pushing customers to download an app. Whether it's Uber, Lyft, Gett or any other service, they're all essentially offering competitive rates and services, threatening to put yellow cabs out of business, and leaving consumers flustered with so many options. But now there is one standing out from the rest... Introducing, Schlep: the first on-demand car service that uses "Jewish Geography" navigation. Rather than having a driver who doesn't speak English or has little to say, Schlep provides a nice Jewish mother...
  • C-3PO Crashes a Pentecostal Revival

    09/20/2019 4:13:33 PM PDT · by Norski · 2 replies
    Youtube ^ | September 22, 2016 | Lutheran Satire
    A six-minute animated adventure as described. For Friday entertainment purposes.
  • Islamist Organizations Only Elevate The ‘Right’ Muslims

    09/20/2019 9:07:50 AM PDT · by tbw2 · 8 replies
    The Daily Wire ^ | 09/20/2019 | David Swindle
    Among the fascinating phenomena of America’s most prominent Muslim activist organizations is how they decide which Muslims to lift up and which to ignore. Compare two recent comedy specials. One, Dave Chappelle’s newest Netflix special “Sticks & Stones,” which is generating intense reactions given its choice of material — including abortion, #MeToo, Transgenderism, “the alphabet people” (referring to the expanding acronym LGBTQIA+), and the implications of the “cancel culture,” which seeks to silence all who do not adhere to the “woke” doctrines of political correctness. Thinking about this hilariously offensive special brought to mind another recent comedy special that challenged...
  • Nation's Murderous Psychopaths Undecided On Whether They’ll Follow New Gun Laws (Satire)

    09/17/2019 2:09:40 PM PDT · by gattaca · 12 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | September 16, 2019 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats such as Beto O’Rourke have proposed a number of new gun laws, such as universal background checks, a ban on magazines that hold more than ten bullets, and possibly even a “mandatory buyback” of some weapons such as AR-15s. While these laws are likely to be a headache for law-abiding gun owners, the nation’s murderous psychopaths aren’t quite certain how the laws will affect them. “The background check sounds concerning,” explained deranged murderer Steve Mason, known as “Murdering Steve” to his friends. “I would definitely fail it since I’m a well-known psychopath. But I’ve never actually purchased a...
  • Saddle up!

    09/18/2019 3:58:22 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 8 replies
    email | 9/18/2019 | unknown
    A Jewish bookie was at the races playing the ponies and losing his shirt. He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot won the race. Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses. The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the...
  • Break time Viewing: I’m totally normal ma’am! (Cop putting DUI driver through dance moves)

    09/09/2019 9:29:28 PM PDT · by ransomnote · 20 replies ^ | 9/9/10 | posted by novelQuin
    Video at link above. I've never seen a sobriety test like this one. I recommend you turn on the sound even though it also has subtitles. Note the sound icon on the lower right of the image below.
  • Mark Lowry - The Home Depot/An Atheist's Faith/Mary Raising Jesus (Comedy/Live)

    09/07/2019 9:26:29 PM PDT · by Vendome · 3 replies
    Gaither Music TV ^ | Jul 22, 2016 | Mark Lowry
    Just a funny guy I found while looking for another video. Hilarious! Very good humor that preaches faith and the gospel in a way that draws pictures in your head and done in a very entertaining and reverent manner. 16 minutes and he just brings into the bit.
  • Monday Moans & Groans

    08/26/2019 6:43:29 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 5 replies
    laughfactory ^ | 8/26/2019 | multiple
    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference...
  • Obamas Promise To Spread Their Wealth<font color = yellow>SATIRE

    08/23/2019 8:12:35 PM PDT · by BipolarBob · 11 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 8/23/2019 | Babylon Bee
    MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA—According to reports, former President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama have purchased a $15 million dollar home sitting atop 29 acres of land on Martha’s Vineyard, where they look forward to spreading their wealth around. “Like I said in 2008, when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody,” Obama told reporters. “Michelle and I can’t wait to get out and start spreading our massive haul of cash all over this palatial piece of property. These acres will be green all year long,” he grinned. “We were starting to feel cramped in our 9 bedroom...