Keyword: humor

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  • TV news vehicle stolen as crew covers local crime wave

    06/26/2017 9:31:31 AM PDT · by ItsOnlyDaryl · 15 replies
    The Extract ^ | 6.25.17 | Editor
    A local television news crew in New Mexico became the story when someone stole the station’s SUV as staffers gathered footage for a segment on crime in the area.
  • Trump Finally Tells The World About The Comey Tapes!

    06/22/2017 10:12:46 AM PDT · by HarleyLady27 · 22 replies
    Redstate Watcher ^ | June 22, 2017 | Staff
    Donald J. Trump ✔ ‎@realDonaldTrump With all of the recently reported electronic surveillance, intercepts, unmasking and illegal leaking of information, I have no idea... 10:54 AM - 22 Jun 2017
  • EXPERIMENT: Women Try 'Manspreading'! | Louder With Crowder

    06/22/2017 4:37:42 AM PDT · by Mechanicos · 23 replies
    YouTube ^ | June 21, 2017 | Steven Crowder
    Why do men "manspread'? Real women experience the every day discomfort men do on public transit.
  • What Was The Worst Interview You Ever Had?

    06/19/2017 2:21:22 PM PDT · by Eagles Field · 58 replies
    6-19-17 | Eagles Field
    I Shook Hands With Hitler Reincarnation Today And I think I saw Vincent Price peering out of the corner, quick to be out of sight hiding from me. But I saw him. Met the vacant eyes of Bela Lugosi passing in the bathroom. Eerie organ music played as I entered the doors for my interview. Had a nice conversation with a woman who’d, I imagine, takes classes in incompetency. They’re very interested in me and want to explore the next level in the process. She mentioned a few caveats, shrugged at the facts that there were 2 meetings a day,...
  • Could Illinois Be the First State to Go Bankrupt?

    06/12/2017 2:43:54 PM PDT · by detective · 70 replies
    The Fiscal Times ^ | June 12, 2017 | Eric Pianin
    Illinois has long been the poster child for a dysfunctional state fiscal policy. The state’s Republican governor, a formerly wealthy businessman, and the Democratic-controlled legislature have been perpetually locked in a race to the bottom as the Land of Lincoln has repeatedly flirted with near- bankruptcy and junk-bond level credit ratings.
  • Vote online: Where do you want to see bike sharing stations in New Orleans?

    06/09/2017 6:47:44 PM PDT · by BBell · 40 replies
    NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune ^ | 6/9/17 | WILBORN P. NOBLES III
    Residents eager to share feedback on where New Orleans should establish stations for a new bike-share program have until June 18 to vote online for their preferred locations. The city is working with the Brooklyn-based Social Bicycles, Inc., to spread 700 bikes among 70 stations this fall. City officials stated Friday (June 9) that the station locations selected will be assessed for feasibility, including space availability, 24-hour access, visibility and sufficient sun exposure for battery charging, once the final input is complete.The bike-share program will be privately funded with sponsorships, advertisements and rental fees, officials stated. The fee model includes...
  • TANKS FOR NOTHING: Here's the week-to-week roadmap of the Jets' 0-16 season

    06/09/2017 11:43:40 AM PDT · by C19fan · 22 replies
    NY Daily News ^ | June 8, 2017 | Gary Myers
    Welcome to Tank Town, USA and the Sweet Sixteen. Jets Nation, this is going to be ugly. The 2017 Jets have a realistic chance of being worse than the 1-15 Rich Kotite atrocity of 1996, a team that actually had a lot of talent, unfortunately none of it in the head coach’s office.
  • Wife writes letter to Tech Support about her husband, the response she received is too funny

    06/06/2017 3:04:45 PM PDT · by Mechanicos · 28 replies
    Nicer days ^ | April 1, 2016 | Nicerdays Tech Support
    Dear Tech Support, ’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I...
  • 19 Reasons The Rapture Could Be In 2017

    06/05/2017 6:44:44 PM PDT · by amessenger4god · 68 replies
    Unsealed World News ^ | 6/5/2017 | Gary
    Remember Edgar Whisenant's 88 reasons Why The Rapture Will Be in 1988?  Whenever a Christian starts talking about signs and evidence for the nearness of the rapture you can be sure there is someone just aching to bring up this book as the be-all and end-all of the conversation.  "People have always tried to predict when Jesus will come back and every time they were wrong."  They have a good point and it would be foolish not to address it.  You would think that if Whisenant found 88 reasons for the rapture to occur in September 1988, and his...
  • Kathy Griffin Apologizes For Falsely Depicting Herself As Socially Relevant

    06/02/2017 1:40:52 PM PDT · by fungoking · 28 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | 5/31/17 | Staff
    Kathy Griffin, who sources describe as a comedian, apologized Tuesday for publishing a gruesome photo to social media which falsely depicts herself as someone with current political and social relevance. The image of Ms. Griffin holding a bloodied, severed head in the likeness of President Donald Trump stirred immediate controversy, as Americans were violently subjected to the distressing notion that the self-proclaimed D-list actress’ opinion about the President carried with it some sort of societal clout, or even mattered at all to anyone. The blowback was swift and loud, and Griffin quickly went into damage control mode. “I sincerely apologize . ....
  • Book Released!

    05/26/2017 5:54:14 AM PDT · by Magnatron · 53 replies
    Amazon ^ | 26 May 2017 | Jon Judson
    Hey everyone! A follow up to my announcement earlier this week. My book is available today on Amazon. If you like quirky, satirical, historical fiction with a bit of a western flavor, it'll make great beach reading this weekend and for the summer. I think you'll find it timely, too, as it's an allegorical tale about fake news and the gullibility of some folks to drink it up. If you want to take a look, check the link out.
  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 2:39:24 AM PDT · by sodpoodle · 44 replies
    email | 5/25/2017 | self
    Nineteen Newfoundlanders go to the cinema. The ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Buddy replies, "The film said 18 or over." My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. I was at an A.T.M. yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy. My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a m. Can...
  • Calvinist Health Insurance Company Declares All Conditions Pre-Existing

    05/11/2017 3:56:51 PM PDT · by SoFloFreeper · 45 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 5/10/17
    SANFORD, FL—A newly formed health insurance company owned by a group of devoted Calvinists announced that they will not cover any health condition, since every condition of humankind was pre-existing and established by sovereign God before the foundation of time. The company, Total Deductibility, states clearly in its bylaws that “pre-existing conditions may not be covered, which include every possible ailment and so-called ‘accident,’ all of which God foreknew and predestined to occur prior to the existence of the client’s policy, and time itself.” The firm was thrilled when the new GOP health care law, which drops the requirement to...
  • The Reason Right Wing Memes Are The Most Popular

    04/26/2017 5:26:28 PM PDT · by Bon mots · 16 replies
    Vice.com ^ | April 26, 2017 | Joe Bish
    We spoke to the author of 'The Ambivalent Internet' about the rise of the right online. Professor Whitney Phillips, author of This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, a book about trolling, has teamed up with Professor Ryan M Milner to pen another book about internet culture. The Ambivalent Internet is about how we express ourselves online, the ways in which we do it, why we do it and how it ends up the way it does. The book was written on the eve of Donald Trump's ascension to the world's highest office, and deals, in part, with the...
  • Why men are rarely published in Dear Abby

    05/04/2017 7:33:53 AM PDT · by smokingfrog · 24 replies
    internets ^ | 4-1-17 | unknown
    Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I...
  • Intellectual Froglegs 100 Day Edition

    04/29/2017 12:43:29 PM PDT · by HarleyLady27 · 7 replies
    The Conservative Treehouse ^ | April 29, 2017 | Sundance
    Joe Dan Gorman presents the latest Intellectual Frog Legs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMBZUNUPJyY
  • The Left wants to defund the wall, let's defund THEIR security ~ Vanity

    04/25/2017 3:40:19 PM PDT · by GraceG · 7 replies
    4-25-2017 | GraceG
    So the left thinks the United States should be paying "The federal version of ADT" for building a security perimeter on the southern border.... Well so glad it is so nice an peaceful these days that nobody needs security anymore, i mean IF we needed Security these days they would fund a wall, RIGHT? So why do democrats need to keep paying for private security around their houses? I think Nancy Pelosi could give a LOT more money to Charity if she didn't keep having to pay for personal security which is obviously a waste of her money. "Hello, ADT,...
  • Planned Parenthood Releases Abortion Discussion Guide

    04/25/2017 1:24:41 PM PDT · by rochester · 6 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | 4/24/2017 | The Babylon Bee
    As part of its ongoing campaign to continue receiving tax dollars to perform its services, Planned Parenthood just released the above graphic intended to assist the organization’s supporters in their discussions, debates, and arguments with pro-life advocates. The infographic contains what Planned Parenthood calls the “three basic steps” of arguing the pro-choice position: shutting one’s eyes to any evidence presented, plugging up one’s ears to any rationale, and screaming something about “women’s rights,” “patriarchy,” and “choice” at the top of one’s lungs. “The intention of our carefully crafted argumentation guide is to ensure no pro-choice advocates are exposed to dangerous...
  • Feminist Hero Refuses To Let Fireman Carry Her From Burning Building [satire]

    04/24/2017 5:32:21 PM PDT · by NRx · 51 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | 04-24-2017 | Staf
    HELL’S KITCHEN, NY—A woman is being heralded as a feminist icon after refusing to let a male firefighter carry her out of a burning building. The woman burned to death several minutes later, sources confirmed. According to FDNY firefighters, the woman was spotted in the living room of her home, which had become engulfed in flames. Immediately, one of New York’s bravest charged through the the front door to rescue the helpless woman. But what happened next will go down in the history books. As the fireman reached out to pick up the woman and carry her to safety, she...
  • When you Gotta Go

    04/17/2017 11:58:05 AM PDT · by w1n1 · 33 replies
    AK Sportsman ^ | 4/17/2017 | S Morstan
    When you're in the woods and you need a place to go, you can at least go comfortably with this wilderness lifehack! Lots of you have probably been putting garbage bags in buckets for this kind of thing (or just been using buckets, you savages), but why not add a little extra luxury for a few added dollars, and put a pool noodle seat on it? You can even hang the paper roll from the handle. One thing I might add, if I were doing this– maybe consider reinforcing the pool noodle with some duct tape if you’re going to...