Keyword: humor

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  • Rejection Letter From Science Community(HUMOR!)

    12/15/2018 7:25:47 PM PST · by Mark · 3 replies
    Email | 12/15/18 | Unknown
    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20078 Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “ 211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post . Hominid skull .” We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents “conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Oklahoma County two million years ago. .” Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small...
  • Incoming Muslim Congresswomen Mock Pence’s Christian Faith

    12/13/2018 6:10:14 PM PST · by Olog-hai · 75 replies
    Cybercast News Service ^ | December 13, 2018 | 9:55 AM EST | Patrick Goodenough
    One of the first two Muslim women elected to the U.S. Congress took a snide dig on Twitter at Vice President Pence for sitting with eyes closed during a heated Oval Office meeting, posting a photo with the caption, “Jesus take the wheel!” — and the other incoming Muslim congresswoman applauded the insult. Ilhan Omar’s (D-Minn.) tweet ended with the hashtag #BorderWall, a reference to the contentious issue discussed during President Trump’s meeting Tuesday with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) The second Muslim woman elected to the House, Palestinian-American Congresswoman-elect Rashida Tlaib,...
  • 'Hi-tech robot' at Russia forum turns out to be man in suit

    12/12/2018 3:12:44 PM PST · by Krosan · 33 replies
    The Guardian ^ | Wed 12 December | Andrew Roth
    State television praised the ‘modern’ tech despite photos revealing actor in costume A “hi-tech robot” shown on Russian state television has turned out to be a man in a suit. Russia-24 praised the ersatz android during coverage of a youth forum dedicated to robotics, boasting that “Robot Boris has already learned to dance and he’s not that bad”. But sharp-eyed bloggers were dubious. The Russian website TJournal listed questions about the robot’s performance: Where were Boris’s external sensors? Why did the robot make so many “unnecessary movements” while dancing? And why did the robot look like a person would fit...
  • 'Christmas Vacation' inspired holiday decor prompts calls to 911

    12/09/2018 7:32:02 AM PST · by BenLurkin · 10 replies
    The family put up the display for a contest, purchasing a dummy online and positioning a ladder beneath it to look like it’s tipping over. It’s a recreation of the scene from the movie "National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation," where Clark Griswold hangs from the roof while putting up Christmas lights. The display was too realistic for some. The Heerleins said someone rushed to help, thinking the dummy was a real person in distress. They called 911, along with about a dozen others.
  • Nigerian Prince Commits Suicide After Being Rejected While Trying to Give Away His Fortune

    12/01/2018 3:41:03 AM PST · by Lazamataz · 125 replies
    Original content | 12/1/2018 | By Laz A. Mataz
    (AP) Nairobi, Nigeria -- Prince Alab Swalahari was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his palace in Nairobi on Tuesday. A note next to his body stated that he was despondent that no one would accept his attempt to give away his vast riches. His brother explained, "Alab had converted to Christianity quite some time ago. All he was trying to do was live a Christ-like life! Christ commands us to give our money to the poor. He tried for over 15 years, sending people emails to give away his money, but all he got back was mockery...
  • My Dream a place at Moron University

    11/24/2018 1:33:25 PM PST · by Fai Mao · 12 replies
    Hong Kong Standard ^ | 22 November 2018 | Nurri Vittachi
    Users of Reddit, a rowdy international website, were shocked yesterday when someone posted a list of Hong Kong football teams with names such as White Youth and French Kiss. Before anyone complains, White Youth isn't racist and has Asian members. But still, Hongkongers probably wouldn't want to wear White Youth T-shirts when visiting Western countries, where almost everyone seems to have a desperate need to feel mortally offended all the time. At least our club names are not as awkward as Deportivo Moron of Argentina. The team comes from the district that houses the memorably named Moron University, an actual...
  • Gore in '20?

    11/20/2018 6:56:16 PM PST · by GuavaCheesePuff · 58 replies
    The Durango Herald ^ | November 17, 2018 | Frank Bruni
    Time and Donald Trump do interesting things to a man. They make Al Gore glitter. It’s almost impossible not to be thinking of Gore now, with the words “Florida” and “recount” so prominent in the news, and it’s hard not to credit him with virtues absent in Trump and increasingly rare in politics these days. Grace in defeat, for one. For another: a commitment to democracy greater than a concern for self. Sure, the review of ballots that Gore’s campaign demanded in 2000, as he and George W. Bush waited to see who would get the Sunshine State’s electoral votes...
  • Scratchie The Squirrel [Vanity]

    11/16/2018 8:56:04 PM PST · by backspace · 70 replies
    Self | 11/16/2018 | Self
    Been feeding the cute little squirrel out back..... I named him "Scratchie"
  • Florida recount: Broward misses deadline by 2 minutes, so state rejects new results

    11/15/2018 4:22:17 PM PST · by Beautiful_Gracious_Skies · 43 replies
    Sun Sentinel 26 min ago ^ | November 15, 2018 | Larry Barszewski, Rafael Olmeda and Lois K. Solomo
    Florida recount: Broward misses deadline by 2 minutes, so state rejects machine-recount results (Title changed, LOL) By two minutes, Broward County missed the ... deadline to submit recount results, so numbers provided by the county Saturday stand,... “We uploaded to the state two minutes late so the state has chosen not to use our machine recount results....D;Alessandro said the recount arrived late due to his unfamiliarity with the state’s website. “Basically, I just worked my ass off for nothing,” he said. D’Alessandro said there's a 2,040 vote difference between votes in the manual recount and those tabulated earlier. “We believe...
  • SoDo wonders where Seattle City Hall is as homelessness, crime spirals

    11/13/2018 4:56:33 PM PST · by simpson96 · 21 replies
    MyNorthwest.com ^ | 11/13/2018 | Jason Rantz-Show
    Seattle’s homeless crisis has business owners and employees in SoDo wondering what exactly the city is doing to help. Homelessness affects the City of Seattle in a variety of ways, as encampments and RVs in Seattle’s SoDo neighborhood continue to make their presence known “We certainly are seeing an increase in criminal activities on our streets, of threatening behaviors, of people that are afraid to walk on our streets,” said Erin Goodman, executive director of the SoDo Business Improvement Area. Speaking to KTTH’s Jason Rantz, Goodman outlined a myriad of problems businesses in the SoDo neighborhood face on a daily...
  • Trump Orders Catapults Be Placed Along Border To Expedite Deportations (SATIRE)

    11/09/2018 7:53:46 PM PST · by Morgana · 21 replies
    Breaking Burgh ^ | November 9, 2018 | staff
    President Trump said today he is determined that deportations of those who enter the United States illegally proceed quickly, without waiting for court proceedings motorized transportation. “We’re going to use catapults because that’s the fastest way. It’s going to be so fast. Very very fast.” Trump insisted that he would not repeat the mistakes of the past that caused a huge backlash, even from the occasional Republican. “I have ordered that families be launched together, but if they separate while still on a parabolic trajectory through the air that’s not on me.” Others, however, have cast suspicion on claims that...
  • Could somebody create a meme with Frankenstein's Eyegore and Occasio-Cortez?

    11/08/2018 7:06:16 PM PST · by Jonty30 · 17 replies
    They have similarities.
  • How about a little humor thread?! (Vanity)

    11/04/2018 1:20:39 PM PST · by Az Joe · 70 replies
    1/04/2018 | AZJoe
    Post any political jokes, cartoons, stories, anecdotes, etc!
  • 22 brilliantly sarcastic reviews of Amazon products

    10/28/2018 8:39:46 AM PDT · by Leaning Right · 53 replies
    The Daily Edge ^ | Aug 16th 2013 | Michael Freeman
    REVIEWING AMAZON products isn’t a hobby. It’s a calling. These people answered the call.
  • 835 Elections (Alternate Nate Silver Site) LMAO

    10/28/2018 3:13:33 PM PDT · by grayboots · 5 replies
    835 Elections ^ | 10/28/2018 | 835 Elections
    Tired of statistics, polls & pundits? Unsure which models & analyses to trust? Looking for definitive results? Well so are we! 835 uses cutting-edge, digital coin-flip technology to definitively tell you the outcome of every single race. We 100% guarantee our results will have a minimum of 50% accuracy for each individual race!
  • Massive Skunky Smelling Cloud Suddenly Appears Over Canada

    10/23/2018 1:03:30 AM PDT · by Mr_Moonlight · 17 replies
    October 23 2018 | Me .... ehhhhh?
    October 17th 2018 - Satellite photos have shown a widespread cloud of skunky smelling smoke appearing over all of Canada. Meteorologists and Canadian Officials are perplexed as to the cause of this sudden cloud of smoke, but have noted a correlation of runs for junk-food such as Doritos, Little Debbie's Cookies and Cakes, as well as Twinkies at local convenience stores all across the provinces. Developing: We'll have more on this story as soon as we can get our reporters to stop giddily laughing incoherently.
  • The Blue Wave really does exist! I saw it!

    10/20/2018 7:58:03 PM PDT · by CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC · 19 replies
    Vanity ^ | 10/20/2018 | Vanity
    I saw a mass of dark blue water swirling round & round in circles with much noise & fury, inside a white porcelain bowl with a hole at the bottom. Unfortunately, after it disappeared down the hole, it left behind some .... errrr .... "things" clinging to the bowl that had to be scraped off.
  • Elizabeth Warren refused entry at Boston restaurant

    10/16/2018 9:16:36 AM PDT · by GaltMeister · 70 replies
    She didn't have a reservation
  • Dems: 'We May Have Lost The SCOTUS Seat, But At Least We Kept Our Dignity'

    10/08/2018 12:15:30 PM PDT · by OddLane · 88 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | October 8, 2018 | BB
    Democratic leaders consoled themselves from their failure to stop Brett Kavanaugh from assuming a seat on the Supreme Court Monday by reminding the nation that although they lost the SCOTUS seat, they were able to keep their dignity. As liberal protesters banged on the doors of the Supreme Court and attempted to claw them open, Senate Democrats calmed their constituents by pointing out that they were able to be the bigger person in all this. "At very least, we didn't drag our political process to new depths and make ourselves look like petulant children," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer...
  • HITLER REACTS TO KAVANAUGH CONFIRMATION (DOWNFALL PARODY ALERT)

    10/07/2018 2:56:16 PM PDT · by goldstategop · 28 replies
    Hitler is furious when he learns of Kavanaugh’s confirmation. Another Downfall classic!