Posted on 12/10/2014 8:51:12 PM PST by Salvation
There is the monastic life and the state of marriage. The third condition, that of virginity in the world, is extremely dangerous, fraught with temptation, and beyond the strength of most people. Moreover, those who adhere to this condition are also a danger to the persons around them: the aura and beauty of virginity, which, when deprived of direct religious significance, are in sense 'nuptial feathers', exercise powerful attraction and awaken unedifying emotions.Of course, in the East, Holy Orders are something that both married men and monks can enter.
I appreciate all the comments. They give me ways to embrace (and endure) my singleness. Whether another relationship is in store for me or not, I know I'm not alone. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences.
You always have someone on this forum to talk to or fight with, which ever move stikes you. :)
You misunderstand. I haven’t given up on life and am socially active to the extent my work schedule allows me to be.
I wrote what I did to point out. 1) I know how painfully lonely singleness can be and 2) I’ve made peace with it. It’s not what I wanted my life to be but I can accept that, through Christ’s grace, it is sufficient and that the next life will be better.
Perhaps there is some lady in my future but there doesn’t have to be and maybe that will be more attractive to someone.
But the more I contemplate the next life to come, the more excited I am to get there. We mourn death, particularly of the young, but I don’t believe Jesus does because He knows the glory waiting ahead - one He has promised to share with us as sons, not as servants.
I’m still firmly attached to this life and serve in various ways but I’m also comforted that what I lack in this life may be completely fulfilled beyond my fondest dreams in the next life. So, who wouldn’t want to eagerly await it?
Thank you for the beautiful post. God bless.
When my husband died, I, too, thought I needed a boyfriend. It only turned into a situation of him using me.
Beginning Experience, a peer facilitated weekend for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one
I loathe it too. I am surrounded by heathens and fighting alone. I hate it.
Join a church group. At least you are out doing something. Volunteer to feed the homeless at Christmas. Donate food for Christmas food baskets.
I’m sorry that happened...it is not always easy to discern who the “players” are because they’ve often learned the good guys moves to mask their real intentions.
A friend of mine married a man less then a year after her husband died...she is one who could not see herself functioning alone.....her family and friends tried to tell her he was after her money, which of course proved as much within a few years of their marriage. Divorced now..and he got nothing except the vehicle he brought to the table after cheating on her.
Oh definately woman do grieve...but they usually move forward with life much quicker then men......yet i still stand that the love a man has for a woman defies womans understanding the depth of, and how marriage deepens that more than woman realize or experience themselves.
But you are right...woman will seek emotional relief with other woman...men are not quick to do that and often carry their real pain within.
I think in marriage you have to be willing to give and invest first and foremost in that relationship....(second only to the Lord). It must have the priority although that is fluid for obvious reasons. Still it’s about marrying someone who can and is able to make the same commitment you do.
There are three parties in a marriage...you...your mate...and the marriage itself. Commitment isn’t just to the individual but to the marriage itself. If you are commited to the marriage as deeply it will get you past those uncomfortable moments that are normal in relationsips....
**There are three parties in a marriage...you...your mate...and the marriage itself.**
I’ve always said that there are three people getting married, the man, the woman and most importantly, God.
Those three are all under God. You cannot have a successful marriage commitment without understanding the marriage itself must be committed to as well.
My point is that a mate needs to have the same commitment that you do about what commitment is ...and to whom.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry to hear that someone else would step into that situation and be so cruel.
When my husband left, I didn’t even think about the dating world. I was recovering from an illness, and I’m still raising sons. I did pray hard for a friend to talk with, but I was praying for a trustworthy female friend. I was caught by surprise when a male friend began talking with me. Then he asked me out. This guy always came across as so nice, such a gentleman. But eventually he revealed his true intentions. ;-) LOL. He got nowhere with me, but I’ve been kicking myself for putting my guard down in the first place.
God made me a mother; that’s my calling. I’m not sure why I deserve this vocation, but He must know otherwise. He might have other plans for me, too, but I’ll have to wait to find out what they are.
One of the main reasons I never married is because I was asked out by so many married men. I quickly learned to look for the tan line on the ring finger. But often, the men did not even bother to hide that they were married. When they'd ask me out and I'd say, "But you're married!" they'd respond, "So what?" I felt sorry for their wives and figured if I got married, I'd just be one more wife being cheated on.
I had the same experience when I was young, and I reached the same conclusion that you did. I felt sorry for their wives, too, and I worried that, if I did marry, I could end up in the same position.
I did marry, though, and sure enough, I ended up becoming one of those wives, just as I'd feared.
There are good husbands who are devoted to their wives. I do wonder sometimes if they represent a small minority, though. lol
I hear you! At least we had the decency to consider the wives’ feelings. I knew a lot of girls who slept with married men and eagerly fell for the tales the men told them...”Oh, my wife doesn’t understand me, she’s cold and won’t sleep with me, she’s insane and will kill herself if I leave her, just give me a little more time and I’ll leave her for you,” etc., etc. The women believed it because they WANTED to believe it. They wasted years of their lives sleeping with married men who had no intention of ever leaving their wives, because the wives were actually nice people and not at all as the husbands described them. The men just wanted to have their cake and eat it, too!
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