Unlike other hockey moms, Sarah Palin does not wear lipstick; it is blood (just like pitbulls). Sarah Palin is not a Bible thumper; she punches her fist through it. Deja Vu is what happens when Sarah Palin changes the Matrix. Sarah Palin is Ayn Rand's and Charlton Heston's love child. FDR is often misquoted; what he actually said was, "There is nothing to fear but Sarah Palin herself." Sarah Palin can make Republicans excited about John McCain. Sarah Palin can turn gay men straight just by smiling. Unlike Barack Obama, Sarah Palin is her own teleprompter. Tina Fey hired six...