When John Kerry calls you out of touch, you must be so far out of touch that you need to call Mazlan Othman, the United Nations' designated liaison to space aliens, to re-establish contact with Planet Earth. The Massachusetts senator is one of the world's experts in out of touch. What Tony Dungy is to leadership, Suze Orman is to thrift and Joel Osteen is to televised piety, John Kerry is to not getting it. He would never stoop to mere obliviousness -- not when he can don his wetsuit and windsurf contemptuous circles around the little people in a...