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In the next few days, we will all bear witness to a very special and very rare event: the mating ritual of the Domesticated Northwestern-American Kerry. This is the third and possibly final time this Kerry will mate in his lifetime--you do not want to miss this, because you might not get another chance. Professional observers are treating this event with the proper reverence. What do we know about the Kerry from previous mating rituals? The Kerry values one thing above all else in his mates: financial security. If history is a valid guide, the Kerry will choose a mate...

Kerry to Announce Running Mate in E-Mail 22 minutes ago CLOQUET, Minn. - Democrat John Kerry plans to announce his vice presidential running mate in an e-mail to the 1 million subscribers to his campaign Web site. But he didn't say when. Kerry is expected to make the announcement before the July 26-29 Democratic National Convention. Typically, a presidential candidate announces a running mate at a carefully crafted campaign event. But Kerry told KSTP, an ABC affiliate in Minneapolis, that his Web site would be the first vehicle. "The folks who are going to learn first about my choice are...

Study: Humans, Neanderthals Did Not Mate By Larry O'Hanlon, Discovery News Neanderthal vs. Human March 17, 2004 — The verdict is in: humans and Neanderthals did not date — much. Genetic evidence from Neanderthal and early human bones indicates that if there was any intermixing of the two species, it was so little that it left no genetic trace. The discovery was published in the current edition of PloS Biology. "I thought this was an incredibly significant paper," said Stanford University anthropologist Richard Klein. "So much of the time in paleoanthropology and other 'softer' sciences the arguments seem to go...

Democratic candidate Dean asks Wesley Clark to be running mate By Rupert Cornwell in Washington 12 September 2003 Howard Dean, presidential front-runner in the Democratic Party, has asked retired General Wesley Clark to join his campaign, should the former Nato commander decide not to join the race himself. The move will strengthen speculation that if Mr Dean wins the nomination, he will select General Clark as his running mate to challenge George Bush in 2004. Mr Dean's campaign officials confirmed the men had a private meeting in California at the weekend. Neither side would give details, but General Clark told...

Skulls found in Mexico suggest the early Americans would have said 'G'day mate' By Steve Connor, Science Editor 04 September 2003 The accepted theory of how prehistoric humans first migrated to America has been challenged by a study of an ancient set of bones unearthed in Mexico. An analysis of 33 skulls found on the Mexican peninsula of Baja California suggests that the first Americans were not north Asians who crossed to the American continent about 12,000 years ago. The skulls more closely resemble the present-day natives of Australia and the South Pacific, suggesting that there might have been an...

Early into Aldork2000's presidential campaign, it was announced that the DNC was going to "take God back." What better way than to nominate a real Reverend as the Libdem/Chicom Party leader! Out with the old Reverend Al and in with the NEW Reverend Al! If the new Reverend Al makes it through all of the hoops and attempted Arkancides, defeats all of the other Rats during the debates, and gets the most votes of any Rat running in the primaries - he's going to need a running mate! Begin predictions - NOW!