Mating Ritual of the Domesticated Northwestern-American Kerry

7/5/4 | xm177e2

[xm177e2]

In the next few days, we will all bear witness to a very special and very rare event: the mating ritual of the Domesticated Northwestern-American Kerry. This is the third and possibly final time this Kerry will mate in his lifetime--you do not want to miss this, because you might not get another chance. Professional observers are treating this event with the proper reverence.

What do we know about the Kerry from previous mating rituals?

1. The Kerry values one thing above all else in his mates: financial security. If history is a valid guide, the Kerry will choose a mate capable of bringing in large amounts of money.
2. Kerries do not mate for life. When a better mate becomes eligible, the Kerry will abandon the first and de-legitimize the first mating. Potential suitors should bear in mind that being selected by the Kerry today does not guarantee that they will be on the ticket come November.
3. Kerries are creatures of pomp and circumstance, a characteristic shared by many other Elite Northwestern Liberals. We should expect a theatrical production to surround the choice
4. The Kerry will puff, strut, and attempt to attract his mate with a flashy display of unfurrowed brow. This characteristic is distinct to Kerries and Aging Female Celebrities.
5. When Kerries have difficulty securing a mate, they may resort to using their deep, monotonous voices to lull potential mates into a coma-like state.

[xm177e2]

And remember: although John Kerry is the one selecting a mate, we're the ones getting scr###d.

[ETERNAL WARMING]

ACK! Let's not go there. I just can't get the unpleasant images out of my mind.

[thoughtomator]

I know there are crypto-communist flakes in the northwest too, but this one is of the NorthEASTern variety.

[xm177e2]

#@$^#@$^@$^@#$%

[xm177e2]

Could you please fix this headline? (should be NorthEAST) Thanks.