If the endtimes arrive in my lifetime, it will probably look like this. Florida State today did the unthinkable, the impossible, the, oh the ah, they won. And not just any game. The Florida school actually defeated a team from the SEC football conference. Of course, we all know that the SEC is the greatest football conference in the history of mankind. I know that from the press release issued by the SEC in concurrence with the creator of football, Al Gore. I believe that the authorities in Tuscaloosa are reviewing the legal statutes as I type this. Apparently it...