Posted on 01/19/2019 11:33:40 AM PST by Salvation
Second marriages The Church does not gauge the validity of a union by the happiness of the people who have entered it Msgr. Charles Pope 1/9/2019
Question: Jesus says if you divorce your wife and marry another, you commit adultery. But we see many seemingly happy people in their second marriage. What is your perspective on this?
— Paul VanHoudt, Erie, Colorado
Answer: The implied premise of your question is that happiness and joy are determining criteria for what is right and wrong. Such a premise is flawed. Doing what is right does not always bring immediate happiness. Sometimes what is right is challenging and irksome, and we must trust in the ultimate happiness of doing what is right, not simply the passing happiness that may come from doing what is wrong. Jesus summons us to take up our cross and follow him, not our pillow. He further warns, “Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep” (Lk 6:25).
A second problematic premise of your observation is a rather personalized understanding of happiness. People in second marriages may manifest happiness, but it is often not such a happy reality in the eyes of their children or other family members, who may have very mixed feelings, including sorrow. Many children of divorced families carry hurts and scars from the experience. They had to process the tragic reality that Mom and Dad don’t love each other anymore and, apparently, I am not a good enough reason for them to stay together. This may harm their trust in people and their own moral, spiritual and emotional formation. They may have to spend time at different homes and navigate confusing relationships if their parents go on to date and marry others. Even as they become adults, these complexities and ambiguities remain. When the parents put down the cross of working at their marriage, it is usually the children who must pick it up. Thus, when it comes to happiness, more must be considered than the couple.
All that said, noting that some people go on to great fulfillment in second marriages and even come into the Church or grow in holiness, cannot be wholly disregarded. There may be indications that God is offering blessings in what is objectively problematic. For this pastoral reason and others, the Church is willing to look into the questions of prior marriages and see if there are causes for the nullity of that first marriage. A declaration of nullity is a judgment of the Church that some essential aspect of marriage was lacking in the prior marriage and that it was not “what God has joined together.” There is not space here to fully explain nullity. However, it should be added that the mere happiness of spouses in a current marriage is not a consideration in granting annulments for a prior marriage. Only data regarding the prior marriage are considered.
That's NOT what Msgr. Pope is talking about here. It's the remarriage that's the problem, not the "separation."
Too bad the RCC has no moral authority to tell anyone what to do. Jimmy Breslin had it right...’The Church That Forgot Christ’....
Did you get your marriage annulled?
The Church says that you may leave an abusive marriage for the safety of yourself and the children. It requires that you not marry again unless you have obtained an annulment.
The committing adultery is in the Bible. I would think it would be a belief of all Christians.
Thank you for your witness.
Would have been pointless. There was a great deal more to this than alcoholism. You did notice I said "mentally ill"? To the point it looked like demonic possession?
I did what needed to be done. As did my older brother. We got the hell out of there as soon as we got out of high school.
“get back to me when you understand scripture”
Gee, my 18 years in a Baptist parsonage, and four years in Seminary ... I do recall:
“Luke 16:18 - Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
“Romans 7:2-3 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
You can't comprehend the living hell we could not escape. You are free to disagree, but you have no business saying "bullshit" about it. As soon as you used that term you disqualified yourself. You have absolutely no clue.
I'd happily make you 10 years old and force you to live for 6 months in the inescapable hell that I lived in for 18 years. Actually longer than that because she managed to drag us adult children into the crap for a couple of more years after that.
I will not respond to any more comments from you.
We are not Catholic and I while I would not make light of a sincere Catholic's beliefs, I simply do not believe that and do not accept it.
As soon as you used that term you disqualified yourself. You have absolutely no clue.
There you go again. Automatic disqualfication. Must be great to be the guy who decides who can speak and who can’t. Not put too fine a point on it but your position, taken twice, is utter self-serving bullshit.
Well, I mentioned in a different response that we are not Catholic. So.....
However, I also mentioned that my father stayed in the marriage because he felt divorce was wrong, BUT also because it was his duty to protect us kids to the best of his ability and there was no way the courts in those days would have allowed him custody. Divorce would have been a far greater disaster than the marriage was for us as children - although that was difficult to understand at that time.
A true Christian may at times be lonely, but is never alone.
All people are fallible, mistake makers. Why is the one mistake of choosing
a bad spouse unforgivable?
A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
L
What if your wife divorces you? Also must note that Jesus walked the Earth under the Old Covenant - the New Covenant started when he arose from the dead.
Marriages, 1st bad, 2nd not so bad, 3rd great for 40+ yrs. Are these rules from clergy who never married? Did God say this all about 1 marriage or was it a living breathing Man who was quoted? I bet God didn’t have a wife. His mother probably never approved of any women he brought home. LOL, my mother thought she was God when I brought any girl home, until the last one. 1st Marriage, too soon to young, 2nd, rebound, third perfect match. #4? I think not, I’m done now. I never asked for it, I was an atomic age kid, grew up in the American Dream family time, wife,job, house 2 kids, but it took me 37 yrs to find a Mrs. Cleaver.
Do second marriage also end in divorce?
Not to put too fine a point on it, but you might learn to discuss things without vulgarities. Doesn’t matter how correct you might be, a foul mouth does not lend weight to your opinions.
I don’t debate people who use ad hominum slurs and vulgarities. You’re typing this, that gives you thinking time to make a cogent argument without doing that. If you are incapable of doing so, your opinion is of no interest to me.
“Do second marriage also end in divorce?”
Zsa Zsa Gabor.
L
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.