I went to my parish for the Traditional Latin Mass today. It was the first time I went there with a pair of forearm crutches instead of a walker, since multiple strokes in March, so I no longer needed to sit in the handicapped pew. Posted on 07/26/2016 7:09:35 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
Tears of Joy, and of Reparation
on July 5, 2016
Editor’s note: in March, we shared the news with our readers that 1P5 contributor Dr. Brian Kopp had suffered a series of debilitating strokes that were, at the time, life-threatening. By God’s grace, Brian pulled through, and is making progress in his physical recovery. This is his first contribution since that time. Please pray for his continued healing.
I went to my parish for the Traditional Latin Mass today. It was the first time I went there with a pair of forearm crutches instead of a walker, since multiple strokes in March, so I no longer needed to sit in the handicapped pew.
I spent the whole Mass praying ardently for guidance from God and begging Our Lady to pray for me and lead me, given the circumstances with the Church and this pope on whether to stay quiet or what to do and what to say.
I’ve been working on kneeling and genuflecting at PT for two weeks. I was finally able to walk up to Communion with crutches and, for the first time since early March, I was able (with a bit of help) to kneel to receive Our Lord in the Holy Eucharist.
I started attending the TLM because 1) I wanted to kneel for the Eucharist and 2) I despised liturgical abuse and gravely mistrusted those priests who engaged in it. I don’t love Latin, and I had no attachment to that liturgy (though I do now, especially since I understand the theology of the sacrifice of the mass now given the immensely richer and deeper theology of the old liturgy.)
The pastor stopped his usual walk from side to side to distribute the Eucharist to come to me, so I didn’t have to wait to receive in the kneeling position, the first time I had attempted to do so since March. Then he graciously helped me to stand up from the altar rail, making sure I was steady and had my footing and my crutches before moving on to continue distributing.
When I got back to my pew and knelt in thanksgiving, tears of joy started streaming unbidden down my face. In March, I wasn’t sure if I would ever walk again, and I had just walked to the altar rail. And I knelt and got back up, something I never thought I’d be able to do again. I was thoroughly overjoyed and thankful; I’ve never experienced tears of joy and thanksgiving at Mass.
Then something strange happened. My tears of joy melted into tears of sorrow, and I began weeping. For a very long time. Again, something that I’ve just never done at a Mass, and surely didn’t want to be doing at a TLM where moments before I had experienced rare tears of joy in thanksgiving.
I just don’t cry at Mass, but in an instant I understood. While I had prayed earlier, earnestly, for guidance in the midst of this Church chaos, I realized our pope was making changes to allow those in irregular unions to have access to the Eucharist. While I was experiencing tears of joy at being able to kneel for the Holy Eucharist, at a Mass I started attending to escape liturgical abuse, we had a pope that regularly commits the liturgical abuse of not genuflecting at the Consecration, and not kneeling at Adoration. This despite abundant photos on the Internet of him kneeling to commit the liturgical abuse of washing Muslim women’s feet on Holy Thursday (before he changed the rules so his liturgical abuse became “licit.”)
Pope Francis kisses the foot of a man during the foot-washing ritual at the Castelnuovo di Porto refugees center, some 30km (18, 6 miles) from Rome, Thursday, March 24, 2016. The pontiff washed and kissed the feet of Muslim, Orthodox, Hindu and Catholic refugees Thursday, declaring them children of the same God, in a gesture of welcome and brotherhood at a time when anti-Muslim and anti-immigrant sentiment has spiked following the Brussels attacks. (L’Osservatore Romano/Pool Photo via AP)
These tears are shared by Our Lady that a priest, the pope, would ignore or disobey liturgical rubrics intended to give praise and glory to her Son’s Real Presence in the Eucharist, but desires to see us kneel before the presence of the poor.
My prayers were answered today. A love for the Real Presence in the Eucharist must be accompanied by corrective words and actions for those who would profane it.
My quadriceps are killing me tonight from kneeling at Mass for the first time since March, so, like every bit of suffering in this long process of strokes and recovery, I’ll actively accept that cross and offer it up to the Father, along with ardent prayers and continued fasting, for our Holy Father and his conversion to defending and preaching orthodoxy and orthopraxis.
But I fear many more tears of reparation will be shed in the weeks and months ahead.
I hope all of you are well!
God bless, Brian
To all, please join Dr. Kopp and myself in earnest, continuing prayers for our Holy Father.
Please also pray for Brian’s recovery and also Fr. Daniel Cooper, SSPX, who has been Life-Flighted tonight to a hospital.
Dominus vobiscum,
Ebb
God Bless.
I am not a Catholic, but I’d like to thank and praise God Almighty for the mercy he’s had on your life and health with his healing and restoration. I’m glad you survived and that you’re making good progress in your rehabilitation. I’m sure he’s appreciative of your gratitude.
It IS sad to see false religion so idolized by the World, today. Just remember, EVERY knee shall bow, and every tongue confess that Jesus Messiah is LORD.
Please address all prayers to
Brian Kopp DPM;
If you would like to be added to the Catholic Prayer Ping List, please FReepmail me.
May our Blessed Lord be praised for your progress.
Thank you for the update.
Brian, I am so sorry to hear of your bouts with strokes. May the healing of the Lord reach down to you and make you stronger. I admire your courage in your continuation of the physical therapy. It’s not easy, I know, my sister had a stroke and never worked on regaining the use of her left arm.
May the Lord be with you and your family.
My prayers are with you.
Wonderful to see you Brian.Would give you a hug but half my curser doesn’t work.(((((Hugs
Dearest Brian—
What a lovely account of trial and sacrifice you have shared and have undertaken. Thank you for your testimony, and your gift of knowledge and understanding.
We pray for your comfort and peace. You are in a holy place spiritually, and so pray for us, here with you, for our salvation as we all pray for Holy Mother Church.
May God be pleased to bring you spiritual consolation and restoration.
Love, Rita
Thanks for posting. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I did a web search a few weeks ago looking for any news of your progress following your strokes, and couldn’t find anything.
Thanks be to God. So glad to see you are much improved.
Thanks for the update. Health is fragile and kneeling is something we can all do when healthy. If debilitated, then simply stand for communion, sit for thanksgiving and genuflect as much as possible.
I attend the Latin mass regularly and see the elderly unable to kneel like they could in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. No stress.
Reparation is obtained through active and passive mortification. Hence, using crutches is more meritorious than kneeling. Keep up the good work. And yes, pray for a new pope a.s.a.p.
You are in our prayers.
Missed you Brian! Welcome back!
My prayers for your continued stroke recovery. Congratulations on all the work and
success you’ve achieved in your stroke recovery. I understand the work can be quite
challenging yet it’s apparent that you’ve put a lot of effort into it and done very well.
Keep at it and God Bless you!
I’m so pleased to learn of your recovery and progress, Dr. Kopp.
Inspiring and I thank you for sharing.
Prayers for your continued healing.
Will do.
Thanks for the update, Brian. Have long enjoyed your insightful posts. Will keep you and your intentions in my prayers.
Prayers for you and your family.
God Bless
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