Posted on 04/28/2016 7:06:01 AM PDT by Salvation
The following post contains some adult content. There is nothing inappropriate, but it does speak frankly to an aspect of sexual desire. Exercise caution if reading it to younger children.
There is a secret, once known and widely shared among women, that the best way to get and hold a man’s attention is through modesty. Near nakedness can get a man’s attention, but it is modesty that will hold it.
Why is this so? It is because mystery is powerfully attractive. It entices; it draws and holds one in a kind of suspense. At its heart, modesty is a reverence for mystery. It uses mystery to build the very relationship that is meant to unlock its secrets: Holy Matrimony.
Relationships are not built by a mere glance. Modesty helps to hold the glance while the relationship has time to grow and be tested.
Modesty is not prudishness. The word modesty comes from the word mode, which refers to a central tendency of a group of numbers. As such, modesty is a kind of middle ground that does not seek to burden women with excessive coverings but that also considers the needs of others, so as not to inflame passions and lust. True modesty reveals beauty, but also reminds that much more remains hidden and must be reserved only for the deepest relationship of Holy Matrimony.
Sadly, many women today have not been taught this essential feminine virtue. Men are too often treated to a “full disclosure” or to disclosures that leave little to the imagination. This does excite a kind of “animal” attraction in a man, but it cannot usually hold that attention for very long. Why? Because mystery, once disclosed, is no longer mystery, and its attractive power vanishes quickly. Soon enough, a man who is not attached to a woman for deeper reasons loses interest and starts to be drawn to other women, whose mystery still attracts because it has not been uncovered.
Many men are not even consciously aware that this is why they have lost interest; they do not intend to be crass. But at the level of desire, mystery is important. Once the key has been turned and the mystery unlocked, a powerful card has been played.
Women used to instinctively and collectively know this. They used modesty to hold the man’s attention, build the relationship, summon his proposal of marriage, and then draw him to the marriage bed—not to the back seat of a car or an apartment couch. In the context of a more fully formed relationship the fuller mystery of her was finally revealed and shared. Children usually came quickly in those days and this, too, helped to hold the man fast. Though her mysteries had been revealed, there was now more to keep the man’s attention. For by now, after courtship and engagement, he now knew her more richly in the depth of her person. They had shared memories and become part of each other’s extended families. And even more, their own children were now here, or at least on the way.
The mystery kept secret by modesty was now revealed, but the ties that bind were now operative and filled the role that modesty had assisted in bringing about. And most women of previous generations also knew that even after marriage modesty still had some role, for her modest attire and demeanor still could draw his glance somehow.
Yes, modesty is a great feminine secret, once known by most women. Now, though, many have foolishly cast it aside.
I pray that many will once again discover modesty’s paradoxical draw. While immodesty may attract a man’s quick, animal attention, only modesty can really hold his attention and root it in something higher and better than animal desire. Believe it or not, men have rational souls too! Higher and better motives still work and attract men. Modesty is both powerful and attractive. Here’s to a great “secret weapon”!
It’s still all about getting men to look at you and want sex with you, according to Msgr. Pope. He just proposes a different (and more moral) technique.
What about a woman’s being a person, rather than simply a potential object of sexual use?
I think that you are missing the point of the virtue of modesty. The koranimals force their women to cover, but in a civilized society with Judeo-Christian values, women choose to treat their bodies with respect by covering them properly in public.
"Simply?"
Are you kidding?
I think the point of modesty is to avoiding cranking the engines of the opposite sex. Today, a girl in shorts that aren't *too* short and tight isn't going to turn on any guy but the most ardent sex-machine (who should probably sort out his own issues instead of expecting every woman around him to live in floor-length skirts).
One more thing...Modesty is almost always discussed in terms of how women should dress, but I know for a fact that if I appeared shirtless in public, no woman would be able to resist having inappropriate thoughts about the twisted-steel-and-sex-appeal on display.
There’s a difference between choosing modesty and being forced to wear a burkha.
“I’m suggesting islam”
You are saying that modesty abused is proof that modesty lived reasonably is a bad thing.
There is nothing on Earth that Satan cannot bend to his own purposes. That does not mean that the things he twists are evil in and of themselves.
Did you bother to read the article?
“... modesty is a kind of middle ground that does not seek to burden women with excessive coverings but that also considers the needs of others, so as not to inflame passions and lust.”
>>>The koranimals force their women to cover
Respectfully, and why do they? Are they not following the “Islam is life” per the koranic teachings meaning men are superior, then why the restrictions on females only? Even in the ME islam with their modesty has not reduced groping, rapes, wife beating etc. In fact we are seeing a telling experiment of islam with muslims entering Europe causing rapes! Muslim males because of female attire can’t control themselves, seriously!?!? The solution is appeasement and all will be well? Let’s have a look at females per a sahih hadieth 1) deficient in intelligence & 2) deficient in religion. In the Koran, “females can not devise a plan...” ignorance but holy per their islam! Islam the so called PATH has already defined what is modesty. Watch how they will use our lack of modesty (ie religious freedom) to their standards against us!
Never reveal or attract attention to more than one asset at the same time.
You don’t know? Are you married? Ask your spouse. Ask your mom. Ask your dad. And seek wisdom.
You’re right. For “simply” in the foregoing post, substitute “with many complications.”
Modesty is not relative, but it is very situational.
A bikini in church is very immodest. A regular biking on a beach full of women in string bikinis could be quite modest.
(I have a similar problem to you as to going shirtless. I try to never go shirtless on the beach as people keep trying to roll me back into the ocean!)
“I try to never go shirtless on the beach as people keep trying to roll me back into the ocean”
Luxury. In my day, they used to harpoon us—if we were lucky.
I am not interested in “appeasing” the koranimals; I was merely trying to explain a virtue to you. There is nothing you have said that contradicts the explanation that I gave.
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