Posted on 10/15/2014 10:27:51 AM PDT by Morgana
This week there appeared a story about an interview that actress Jennifer Lawrence gave to Vanity Fair in the wake of having explicit photos of herself hacked and shared on the internet. The story included this excerpt:
I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or hes going to look at you (emphasis added).
When I read that last line, something inside me grieved. My heart broke for Jennifer Lawrence, for our society, and for my five daughters. What have we become when a beautiful, smart, talented young woman believes that her only choice in a loving, healthy, great relationship is to accept that her boyfriend will lust after other women through random porn, or to make homemade porn for him?
Although the media have been treating this as a story about internet privacy, I think Jennifers remark reveals a deeper issue, a deeper wound that has been inflicted on our culture: the confusion of love and acceptance with lust and sex. (Full disclosure: this topic isnt foreign to me. Ive publicly shared my own struggles with porn and with trying to find acceptance and love.) This confusion is why J-Law can look back on a relationship in which she felt that she had to compete with pornby turning herself into pornas something loving and healthy.
There was nothing loving or healthy in my relationship with my wife during the time of my addiction. There was only me, focused on me, satisfying me. I was looking for love, but I settled for less. It wasnt until real love, unconditional love, was shown to me that I could see lust for what it wasa cheap substitute that always leaves you empty. Ultimately it is only when we encounter the love of Christ that we can understand what love is and how to truly love others. Love is a gift freely given, not a commodity that is earned.
If I could talk to Jennifer Lawrence, I would want her to know that she is more precious, more beautiful, more accepted, and more loved than she could ever imagine; and not for what she can do, but for who she is. Id let her know, just like I want my daughters to know, that she doesnt have to earn or prove love. That she doesnt need to compromise in order to know love. If I could talk to her old boyfriend, Id tell him that hes better than the expectations hes made for himself. Id want him to know, like I want my son to know, that love makes no demands; that being a man means respecting women by loving them as personsnot lusting for them as objects. Id tell him that he, too, is loved and accepted for who he is, not what he does.
Maybe the aftermath of the recent celebrity photo hacking has a silver lining. People are speaking out against the voyeuristic culture that has created a demand for these types of pictures. Others have echoed J-Laws sentiments that looking at these photos is a violation not just of these celebrities privacy but of their very personhood, exposing in public what is intended to be private.
Exposing in public what is intended to be private. Does that sound familiar? Maybe this can be that moment of hitting bottom for the porn addict we call America. There is something that awakens in our spirit when we recognize other people as deserving of dignity and love, and see them suffering when their dignity is violated and their love abused. Through their tears and brokenness, objects of desire become daughters and sisters and sons and spouses again.
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Tom Ponchak, BSCD, graduated with a degree in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville before leaving the Catholic Church to become an Evangelical pastor. After ten years away from Catholicism he returned to the Church in 2007. Today, Tom holds a master catechist certification from the Diocese of Orlando and is actively involved in the faith formation ministry at his parish. He and his wife, Lisa, are members of the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, a lay association of the faithful emphasizing Franciscan and monastic spirituality. He lives in central Florida with Lisa and their six children, and spends his days as an insurance claims manager to pay the bills and feed the family.
More of Toms writing can be found on his blog, CasualTheology.com, where you can also find information about contacting him for speaking engagements.
The more I hear from Jennifer Lawrence, the less I like her. She’s starting to sound like a typical Hollow-wood dumb bunny with the morals of a ... dumb bunny.
Hey come on..don’t bash bunnies! They are only doing what God gave them the ability to do—reproduce! Bunnies just do it in abundance with out abortion or birth control. They kinda have to, they have a lot of predators after them. Ever had Hasenpfeffer? Millions of Germans can’t be wrong!
she is much better looking with her clothes on and with them on she’s not all that
The Missionaries of the Poor brothers here raise rabbits for their meals.
She was outstanding in Winter’s Bone.
Well played!
My Jesus, forgive us for our many sins of the flesh.
Same here. Never heard of her, but I could say the same for just about any celebrity name you might say these days.
I don’t watch much TV, and the husband and I see a current movie about every 3-4 years. Last movie we saw was “The King’s Speech”.
She’s in some comic book movies, too.
Weird! Had not seen your post when I posted “Well played” at #26. GMTA!
just google for your pics ya perve.
Warn all people that you don’t take pics that you dont intend to show.
Its like gun safety, never allow a muzzle to point at something you do not
holes in.
Jennifer caused this.
Why should we have sympathy?
I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or hes going to look at you (emphasis added).
A) Lawrence just turned 24 years old this past August, so the photos may have been made when she was 20 years old
B) Since the relationship was long distance, it's likely that she was sending the "loving relationship" pics to someone back in her home state of Kentucky
C) Anyone remember her "this is a sex crime!" rant?
I don’t think we can post Getty images Kenton.
“Tom Ponchak, BSCD, graduated with a degree in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville before leaving the Catholic Church to become an Evangelical pastor. After ten years away from Catholicism he returned to the Church in 2007.”
Wait.
Did I see that right?
After...he...graduated...FROM STEUBENVILLE...he...LEFT THE CHURCH...and...became...a Protestant minister...and THEN CAME BACK TO THE CHURCH. That’s more shocking than anything Jennifer Lawrence said.
Thanks for the info, I’ll try not to do that again.
That’s a good one Morgana.
“I could be wrong but I think men looking at porn is just in anticipation of hooking up with what they really want which is sex with exotic women, but don`t know how to go about it.”
Or maybe they want their wives to be exotic, but don’t know how to ask? Is that what you meant?
JL was VERY good in “Silver Linings Playbook” - MUCH better than her performance in American Hustle.
You are welcome sir. JimRob does not need to spend any more money in court for nothing but stupid bullcorn.
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