Posted on 05/30/2014 7:00:51 AM PDT by Gamecock
I've had similar thoughts about this over the years. If you act cruelly toward your spouse in public, what in the world will go on behind closed doors?
Pride. If you cant lose, you might as well not get married. Every married person is going to have to lose on occasion. Sometimes you will lose because you are wrong and sometimes you will lose because you care more about the relationship than the argument. Some people cant loseeven when it comes to the cake exchange. If they have to be the victor at the expense of their spouse, they might win the cake but they will lose the marriage. If a person isnt humble enough to have a little cake on their nose in a happy moment, they will never have the humility to submit to their spouse during a tough time. (See: PrideThe Only Enemy of Marriage)I've long had the theory that pride, or ego, is the tap root of nearly all the problems that occur between humans.
An individual or group can't face the fact that some things happen because of their own inadequacies. They find ways to transfer the responsibility to another person or group and then unleash their frustrations.
I was on a cruise ship, and the captain brought us the wedding cake to our table. When it came time to feed each other the cake, I started to smush it in my bride’s face gently. She was totally unaware of the custom, and was very upset that I was doing that, so she REALLY smushed hers in mine, with a LOT of force.
It wasn’t funny until everyone told her about the custom.
That was 21 years ago. Groom and Bride doing just fine.
If this was the standard, we are an outlier.
If cake-smashing is a tradition then why not go all out and have a food fight? Just splat your future mother-in-law thoroughly and you can all yuk it up and look back fondly in twenty years.
Where exactly is someone supposed to learn this?
I agree. I have witnessed quite a few of my friends weddings and the ones who smash the cake into each other often time end up divorced. The ones who respectfully feed each other the cake have made it. I always said this same thing to many people over the years.
One of the non-negotiables my wife had for our wedding was that there would not be any stuffing cake in each other’s faces. Mine was that my tux have tales. Don’t know where that fits on his list, but we’re still together 22 years later.
There is nothing better than being blessed with a good marriage, and nothing worse than being stuck in a bad one..and often...the first devolves into the second case..
We nailed our best man and the maid of honor with the cake.
I forgot about that. I have been to a wedding that I was in as Best Man and the bride and groom smashed the cake into our faces (Maid of Honor and Best Man). I like that a whole lot better than the Bride and Groom doing it.
Right after after the bride eats it, she gains 20 pounds.
________________
...and cuts her hair..
bing a bing..
PFL
Our sons first marriage ended in divorce after his wife had an affair four months after their wedding.
Not that divorce is great, but at least he didn’t have to “waste” too many years with that woman. Also children weren’t involved (I think) which is a blessing. That woman seems mighty selfish.
A young woman I know well started feeding her new husband cake and then smashed it in his face. His parents were shocked. No one thought it was funny. He looked hurt, then retaliated. It was an unpleasant moment that enshrines who this particular young woman is. Narcissist.
We got booed for our boring wedding cake feeding. Just celebrated our 18th anniversary.
As soon as I began seeing “funny” videos of this trend I knew the future for the “happy couple”.
Jamming or rubbing the cake in your new partner’s face is showing the world how much you respect that person.
The more aggressive the couple gets, the more trouble they will have in the future.
Is this true for all, I am sure there are exceptions, but I feel embarrassed for any newly wed couple that fall prey to this “harmless prank”.
Speaking of pranks, the funny video shows have a lot of clips of couple playing “pranks” on each other (or more likely, just one being the prankster.) Some of these pranks are harmless but lot of them are just plain mean spirited.
In a few years, my bride and I will be cutting into our 50th anniversary cake, and like our first one, neither one of us will be smearing into each other’s face.
I can only wish that my late wife(Elizabeth)and myself had been”counseled”by this most “Observant”Observor!!WE made a LOT of Mistakes!!!
I told all of my three daughters this when I gave them very modest weddings. They may not have appreciated it at the time, but they do now.
As for that "stuff", my wife and I have a few orignal boxes in the garage which were seldom if ever used. More than a few of them have even been regifted to other weddings, bridal showers and the like.
He makes a lot of good points. When I come across people who are rigid and unyielding and who refuse to compromise/see the other side of something, I frequently find they are not married. I think when the Bible says “a man will leave his father and take his wife” that this is a sign of maturity and normality in people. People who are unable to find a mate and get along with them have problems in other areas of their lives as well. The pastor obviously see signs of this in people during the wedding cake ritual.
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