Posted on 06/13/2011 6:54:18 PM PDT by Gamecock
You Might Just Be A Calvinist If….
If you have a Martin Luther Jell-O mold… you just might be a Calvinist.
If your DVR has over 25 episodes of Wretched With Todd Friel recorded on it… you just might be a Calvinist.
If your child’s first word was “Westminster”… you just might be a Calvinist.
If your 4 year old can explain what the word “propitiation” means… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you send your mother tulips on Mother’s Day… you might be a Calvinist.
If your passion for evangelism blows away your Arminian friends… you might just be a (true) Calvinist.
If you hate rap music BUT you listen to Lecrea, The Cross Movement, Flame or D.A. T.R.U.T.H. because of the lyrics and theology… you might be a Calvinist.
If quotes from Pink, Spurgeon, Luther, Piper, and McArthur make up 90% of your Facebook statuses…you might be a Calvinist.
If you still remember the 8 speakers in order from the recent T4G conference… you might be a Calvinist.
If you cringe every time you hear someone proclaim “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life! Choose Jesus!”… you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve ever wanted to attend a Benny Hinn crusade just so you could stand up and shout “Ichabod!!”… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you purposefully read a book to be convicted… you might just be a Calvinist.
If a free Bible or book has ever arrived in the mail to you from John McArthur… you might be a Calvinist.
If you have to order theological books online because no one at the Christian bookstore has ever heard of them… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you have ever purchased 100 or more copies of the same John Piper book to hand out to random people you meet …you just might be a Calvinist.
If you ever have found yourself thinking “My pastor’s sermon was particularly Spurgeonesque this morning”… you just might be a Calvinist.
If you read “The Purpose Driven Life” just to see how bad the book really is… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you go to your bookshelf in search of a particular John MacArthur book only to discover that your 14 year old son is reading it up in his bedroom… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you purchased an MP3 player with the sole purpose of downloading sermons… you might be a Calvinist.
If you were shocked to just discover that some people download MP3 files that are not sermons… you might be a Calvinist.
If you have adjusted the default passage setting at www.biblegateway.org from “NIV” to “ESV” … you might be a Calvinist.
If while visiting friends or family’s homes you hid their copy of “The Shack” (for their own good)… you might just be a Calvinist.
If your preacher says to turn to Obadiah and you do not use the index… you might be a Calvinist.
If your teenagers are excited that your church’s youth group is learning Biblical theology and being spiritually challenged instead of playing stupid games and eating pizza…. you might just be a Calvinist.
If you think a 50-minute sermon is too short… you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve ever heard a wave of groans sweep through Sunday School when you refer to Romans 9… you might be a Calvinist.
If you find yourself talking to the Lord Jesus more than to your family… you might be a Calvinist.
If you get irritated when you visit a Christian bookstore and ask where they keep the books on deeper theology and they point you to the Joel Osteen section… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you find yourself wanting to read your Bible instead of watching television… you might be a Calvinist.
If quotes from Pink, Spurgeon, Luther, Piper, and McArthur pop into your head at random times during the day …you might be a Calvinist.
If you can barely contain your laughter when someone refers to Joyce Meyer as a “minister”… you might just be a Calvinist.
If you are confused when someone uses the term “my Bible” as if they only have one…you might be a Calvinist.
If your Bibles must be replaced in less than a year due to pages separating from the spine…you might be a Calvinist.
If you smile, nod and hold your tongue with your teeth after a lively church service when someone says, “God showed up today”… you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve ever shouted “YES!” when the pastor says to turn to 1st Thessalonians…you might be a Calvinist.
If you see 6:37 on a digital clock and think of the Lord Jesus’ words in John… you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve muted a Thanksgiving football game because it’s interfering with your family discussion of Ephesians 1… you might be a Calvinist.
If you have bookmarked three or more preachers’ scripture index webpages… you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve ever been banned from a Sunday School class for quoting scripture… you might be a Calvinist.
If you have ever purposefully sung a different word in a hymn to conform to scripture… you might be a Calvinist.
If your kids own more Bibles than televisions… you might be a Calvinist.
If your children never ask you “Where are we going?” on Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night… you might be a Calvinist.
If you’ve ever read parts of “The Bondage of the Will” to children under ten and prayed that it would change their lives… you might be a Calvinist.
If your children argue and you require them to listen to a Piper Sermon as punishment… you might be a Calvinist.
If you visit spurgeon.org, desiringgod.org, and gty.org, more than once a day, yep… you guessed it… YOU, my dear friend, might just be a Calvinist!!
SOLI DEO GLORIA!
If you know what T4G stands for, you might be a Calvinist.
If your kid, who listens to rap music and dresses scruffily, prefers the Psalter and cleans up well on Sunday morning without prodding, they might be a Calvinist
“If you cringe every time you hear someone proclaim “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life! Choose Jesus!”… you might be a Calvinist. “
... or a Satanist.
Just saying.
ping...
Malachi 1:2 “I have loved you,” says the Lord. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau Jacob's brother?” declares the Lord. “Yet I have loved Jacob 3 but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert.”Just sayin'.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to know all of it!
I’m guilty of a few of these, lol. But I’m glad to say I’m an unashamed Calvinist. I consider myself to be a New Calvinist. My pastor is Matt Chandler who is very much a Calvinist!
If you enjoy reading the ESV Bible on your BlackBerry instead of playing “Kaglom”, you just might be a Calvinist
If the first theater movie you went too was “The Hiding Place”; and you weren’t quite sure it was O.K. .... You might be a Calvinist.
I rooted my Nook and the first app I downloaded was the free ESV bible
If you were ever asked to leave Dallas Theological Seminary and it was suggested you go to WTC instead; you might be a Calvinist.
So do Calvinist Christians believe they should love everyone?
“Just sayin’.”
Do you HATE you mother and father???
Just saying.
If you fall down the stairs and say “Thank God that’s over with” you might be a Calvinist.
Yup.
We are told to do so.
I am a Cumberland Presbyterian, which makes me a heavily modified Calvinist . . . I guess . . . but I am glad you all are spreading the jibes around, I don’t mind LOL
I have heard that “hate” in Biblical usage can mean “love less,” such as in the context you used.
i’m not a Calvinist. but i thought your list was delightful.
...and your Bible quote was interesting. i never thought about it that way before.
seems like God might not be too fond of Mohammad, and others who lead his little ones astray...
i interpret 1 Corinthians 12 broadly, and i’m happy to have Christian brothers like you.
(especially with almost 2 billion Muslims in the world, that object to our giving off CO2 on principle...)
thanks for posting this.
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