Stopping Pornography from Destroying Lives

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[Salvation]

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Stopping Pornography from Destroying Lives

 

There's a great piece in the National Catholic Register on the fight against pornography. The story focuses on Matthew Fradd. Fradd himself was addicted to porn before being freed from his addiction by the grace of God. He is now helping others. . .

OTTAWA, Ontario — After successfully battling an addiction to pornography, Matthew Fradd has dedicated himself to helping others.

“Porn is not just naughty — it’s evil,” said Fradd, a 27-year-old Australian living in Ottawa, Ontario. “It emasculates men, degrades women and destroys marriages.”

Fradd has begun his second year operating his anti-pornography website, ThePornEffect.com . He launched it on Aug. 14, 2009, on the feast of St. Maximilian Kolbe, patron of addicts, using $12,000 in seed money donated to him by a priest-friend.

Fradd’s is a lonely voice going against the culture on the issue, especially considering that nearly 25 million websites (12% of all websites) and 25% of all daily search-engine requests are pornography-related.

In addition, a surprising number of women are regular viewers of pornography. A third of those Americans regularly visiting porn websites are women.

A variety of polls have revealed that those active in Christian churches have difficulties with porn. Promise Keepers, one of the largest Christian men’s conferences in the United States, asked men at their 2008 conferences in anonymous polls if they had viewed porn in the last week; 53% of the nearly 10,000 who responded admitted that they had.

Pornography is hard on marriages, too. In a 2002 survey of 350 members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, an association of divorce attorneys, for example, 56% said “obsessive interest in pornographic sites” was a factor leading to marital breakups.

Fradd’s site features information about how pornography affects men, women and marriages, inspirational stories of individuals who have become porn-free, information on how to beat porn addictions, videos, and opportunities to offer support to those who want to be free of porn. Fradd launched the site, he explained, because while there are millions of websites that feature pornography, “there’s not a lot out there for men and women who are struggling to be free from porn.”

‘Hooked’ at 8

Fradd, who is from southern Australia, got “hooked” on pornography at the age of 8 when he found some in his grandfather’s shed. By age 12, he was stealing porn from neighborhood stores, and in his teen years, he had acquired a vast collection.

“No one had to tell me it was a bad thing,” he said. “I knew it was shameful. I was hoping I’d grow out of it.”

Here's the rest.

 

Posted by Michael Barber at 8:13 AM

[redgolum]

Very true, but it is one of the red lines most churches will not wander into.

[PapaBear3625]

We aren't actually saying that men succumb to sexual perversion because their wives are fat are we? I present for your consideration the case of one Tiger "Idiot" Woods.

We know that Tiger's wife is cute. We have no way of knowing how often she was "interested" post wedding and post baby.

[wally_bert]

Wished I could get into some of it.

[Yaelle]

And let us NOT forget hormones. I have a friend who DREADED her husband’s advances until she went and got a hormone panel drawn. Once she had her imbalances corrected with NON-ORAL bioidentical replacement, especially that teeny bit of testosterone women do have and need, she not only welcomed her husband back into her arms, but found herself looking forward all day to his arrival.

She had had 4 kids — don’t you think all the hormone changes from pregnancy and breastfeeding messes up a girl sometimes?? She was thrilled to get her old feelings back. It’s amazing how much “emotion” is controlled by hormones.

Get your women checked out. However, do not allow oral fake hormones - they cause cancer. Only bio-identical, and not delivered by mouth (there are plenty of other delivery systems).

[Legatus]

A wife who does not make an effort to keep her husband sexually satisfied, should not be shocked when he turns to other ways to satisfy his needs. If he's getting laid less than once a week, then don't be surprised if he decides to look at alternative means of release.

Cause we're just animals after all? It does sort of sound like you're suggesting that we're really just the sum total of our glands.

[italyconservative]

Way to go Matthew Fradd! If you have time, I heard of another woman doing some serious work in battling this epidemic on Steve Brown Etc. I have not read her book but I would like to: Steve Brown Etc.

[italyconservative]

Amen to your story. I only wish that many more men would indeed “man - up” and love their wives. It is tough to stay in so I applaud your husband! (Ephesians 5)

[SoCal SoCon]

I have news for you. It’s not just men who are visually oriented. I am a VERY visually oriented woman and I have never used pornography. If I can do it, so can any man. Gender is not an excuse for immoral behavior. Men and women are equally accountable before God.

Perhaps being a straight male you have not noticed this, but men are a lot heavier today than they were 50 years ago too. Yet women make up only a third of porn viewers. Why is that? Could it be that they remember that marriage is supposed to be a union for life “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” as opposed to the men who put their unrealistic fantasies and expectations before the emotional wellbeing of their wives?

It is men like you that make lesbianism and sadism so attractive to women. And then you wonder where all the hot girls are!

[Salvation]

**Yes, porn destroys marriages.**

I truly believe this.

[Salvation]

**destroy the family unit**

It certainly doesn’t help the family unit.

I have heard priests and counselors say about this addiction — turn your computer around so that everyone in the home can see the screen.

Would that be the cure?

[Salvation]

I disagree on your premise that men are hard-wired for polygamy.

God created ONE man and ONE woman. If God had wanted polygamy He would have created more men for Eve and more women for Adam. I don’t think that happened.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Amen on the hormones. It is my humble opinion that a hormone panel should be a part of your yearly check up. And that goes for guys over 40 too.

It sounds like a joke, your wife doesn't quite appeal the way she used to do get your hormones checked. But it is quite a serious issue. Having your hormones out of balance can kill you.

[Salvation]

**it is one of the red lines most churches will not wander into.**

Our priest has addressed it multiple times. Perhaps that speaking the truth on his part or unusual courage. Either way, he has my respect for telling men to turn their computer screens around so that their wives and children can see the screen!

[PapaBear3625]

Cause we're just animals after all? It does sort of sound like you're suggesting that we're really just the sum total of our glands.

I'm going to guess you're a woman, because that's the typical response of a woman who has lost interest in sex with her man. Here's how it is. Guys feel better when we've been laid recently. If I don't get laid, I get into a bad mood.

In marriage, if the wife doesn't feel like cooking, the guy can either take over cooking, or eat out; if she doesn't feel like cleaning, he can take over cleaning or hire a maid to come over; if she doesn't feel like sex, then he can take matters into his own hands, or decide to end the marriage and go looking for more agreeable female companionship.

If a wife can't be bothered to keep her man happy, that means she doesn't love him any more and the marriage is dead. Note that I say "can't be bothered" rather than "don't feel up to it because of illness".

[Salvation]

Another good point on the hormone issue. I know it hit me with five children. Sometimes it was like a rollercoaster ride.

Marriage Encounter helped us.

[Legatus]

I'm going to guess you're a woman

OLD REGGIE, Dr. Eckleburg... I surrender. I've even pinged in some witnesses.

I am not a woman, but apparently I play one on the interwebs.

With that out of the way, I don't believe that my acts of volition are governed by my glands. They certainly could be, if I allowed it, but even the act of allowing it is an act of the will and not the body. We don't have a right to sexual activity even with the wanting begins to feel like needing... actually before I go any further everything depends on your religious perceptions, if you don't have any then I suppose there's no point in discussing the "will" at all.

[Quix]

Worthy points.

I NEVER had any doubt you were a very forceful, courageous, bright, literate, Christian, warm hearted, responsible, fun, . . . male.

[little jeremiah]

The hilarious social commentary is only true for men who have the morals of a billygoat.

All humans have choices. Wrong choices lead to more wrong choices and make it harder to choose the right path. But change is certainly never impossible.

[PapaBear3625]

OK, here's my point: I consider each party in a marriage to have an obligation to keep each other sexually happy. Do you agree or disagree?

In a marriage, do you think either party has any obligation to provide anything to their spouse? If so, why? If not, why not?

[Legatus]

The hilarious social commentary is only true for men who have the morals of a billygoat.

That's not all that uncommon anymore (if it ever really was). You did notice that I wrote "fundamentally wrong" didn't you? I'm not sure if you're agreeing with me or chastising me.