Stopping Pornography from Destroying Lives

TheSacredPage.com ^ | Wednesday, October 20, 2010 | TheSacredPage from National Catholic Register

[Salvation]

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Stopping Pornography from Destroying Lives

 

There's a great piece in the National Catholic Register on the fight against pornography. The story focuses on Matthew Fradd. Fradd himself was addicted to porn before being freed from his addiction by the grace of God. He is now helping others. . .

OTTAWA, Ontario — After successfully battling an addiction to pornography, Matthew Fradd has dedicated himself to helping others.

“Porn is not just naughty — it’s evil,” said Fradd, a 27-year-old Australian living in Ottawa, Ontario. “It emasculates men, degrades women and destroys marriages.”

Fradd has begun his second year operating his anti-pornography website, ThePornEffect.com . He launched it on Aug. 14, 2009, on the feast of St. Maximilian Kolbe, patron of addicts, using $12,000 in seed money donated to him by a priest-friend.

Fradd’s is a lonely voice going against the culture on the issue, especially considering that nearly 25 million websites (12% of all websites) and 25% of all daily search-engine requests are pornography-related.

In addition, a surprising number of women are regular viewers of pornography. A third of those Americans regularly visiting porn websites are women.

A variety of polls have revealed that those active in Christian churches have difficulties with porn. Promise Keepers, one of the largest Christian men’s conferences in the United States, asked men at their 2008 conferences in anonymous polls if they had viewed porn in the last week; 53% of the nearly 10,000 who responded admitted that they had.

Pornography is hard on marriages, too. In a 2002 survey of 350 members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, an association of divorce attorneys, for example, 56% said “obsessive interest in pornographic sites” was a factor leading to marital breakups.

Fradd’s site features information about how pornography affects men, women and marriages, inspirational stories of individuals who have become porn-free, information on how to beat porn addictions, videos, and opportunities to offer support to those who want to be free of porn. Fradd launched the site, he explained, because while there are millions of websites that feature pornography, “there’s not a lot out there for men and women who are struggling to be free from porn.”

‘Hooked’ at 8

Fradd, who is from southern Australia, got “hooked” on pornography at the age of 8 when he found some in his grandfather’s shed. By age 12, he was stealing porn from neighborhood stores, and in his teen years, he had acquired a vast collection.

“No one had to tell me it was a bad thing,” he said. “I knew it was shameful. I was hoping I’d grow out of it.”

Here's the rest.

 

Posted by Michael Barber at 8:13 AM

[don-o]

The rulse say “no profanity” - as well as “no personal attacks”. You just broke two of the three simple posting rules.

Jim Rob seems to be OK with the gutter language that increasingly appears here. I am not.

[Screaming_Gerbil]

Thank you for sharing your friend's tragic story as a warning, and your own very different and inspiring story.

I am glad to you are blessed with such a loving husband.

I have a friend who’d drop-dead gorgeous. About 15 years into her marriage, her husband became addicted to porn. He started pressuring her into weird sex. The he started ignoring her. Finally he had an affair with a woman who would amuse his fantasies.

Yes, porn destroys marriages.

My husband is a prude when it comes to porn and I am so grateful for that! (Whenever he sees a “girls gone wild” commercial he thinks about our daughter doing these things and gets sick.)

Last winter I became very ill. I ended up gaining 30 pounds (on top of the 30 I was already overpacking). As sick as I was, it was the weight that I felt the most horrible about. It’s taken me six months to take off that last 30 and I’m still working on it.

Never once did my husband make me feel “less”. Not once did he make me feel unattractive. Knowing that I was always beautiful in his eyes gave me the strength to get my weight and health under control. There is no better motivation than feeling loved.

Had my husband become accustomed to only “reacting” to young, thin women, I don’t think our marriage would’ve survived. Heck, I wouldn’t have survived if he turned me away when I was doing my best. I needed loving comfort and acceptance when my body was falling apart.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I don’t want to sound stupid here but what did men do before porn?

There really does not seem to have been a time before porn in human history. Some of our oldest know texts were porn and pornographic images. And porn does involve using their imagination.

[buckeye49]

You have a one in a million, I guess. Keep up the good work, but remember that if the medication you take makes you gain weight, is it worth jeopardizing your health just to look a certain way? Is your worth only measured by the measure of your waistline? do years of service to your family get negated now because you have this problem? Is his satisfaction the only thing that matters?

[wardaddy]

btw...I’m going to enjoy my Sunday..feel free to breastbeat

[PapaBear3625]

I’m wondering if the use of pornography is more addictive and widespread that we ever imagined.

I would not be surprised if a few people could become addicted to porn, like some people are predisposed to become addicted to alcohol.

Doesn't mean the rest of us can't have an occasional beer without any problems resulting.

[Religion Moderator]

Leave the thread.

[PapaBear3625]

Unfortunately, many wives these days are disgustingly overweight and have a terrible attitude. Is it any wonder their husbands shun them? They’re going online to look at Megan Fox, not Jabba the Hut.

A wife who does not make an effort to keep her husband sexually satisfied, should not be shocked when he turns to other ways to satisfy his needs. If he's getting laid less than once a week, then don't be surprised if he decides to look at alternative means of release.

[PapaBear3625]

I don’t want to sound stupid here but what did men do before porn?

Watch dancing slave girls?

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I hear it from other women, and it's a shame, acting like sex with their husbands is one more odious duty in their day.

Some times it is. I hear guys complain because their wife "just isn't interested any more" and I have to wonder if they have ever thought it is because they don't bother to interest her.

The guy that takes the time to get his wife warmed up and then takes the time afterwords to snuggle is going to get a lot more "happy sex" then the guy who is a "roll on, roll off" kind of guy.

There is also the other side of the coin in that a woman needs to make sure she makes time for her husband. Don't wait for him to make all the moves. Send the kids to mom and have a wonderful evening rolling around on the living room rug.

Spontaneity is nice but a well planned seduction says "I was thinking of you even when you were not here". That is a major turn on.

With all the information available out there from sex manuals to porn you would think that people know everything they need to be fantastic lovers. Weirdly enough the more they know the less they seem to use it.

[Lazamataz]

Hey, by the way, didn’t notice this was a Religion Thread. I try to keep my goofin’ around down on those — you know, give respect and all. Sorry you had to ‘mod’ my comment, it was appropriate to remove it.

[wagglebee]

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[airborne]

I’m wondering if the use of pornography is more addictive and widespread that we ever imagined.

IMHO, it is a tool of the left to destroy the fabric of America, and destroy the family unit, placing itself (big gov) as the head of the household.

[Army Air Corps]

My response was more of answer to your question regarding what did people do before pornography. The answer is that you would have to go pretty far back in history to discover the answer (likely well before the founding of Ur). In some primitive cultures, such images are actually used for fertility rites and courtship rituals and not necessarily for personal titillation (what counts as a "stimulating" image when everyone is half naked to begin with?).

[don-o]

feel free to breastbeat

Encouraging us (I include myself in us) to obey the posting rules is "breastbeating"? All righty.....

[bornred]

That may be hilarious social commentary... come to think of it, it might even be true, but it's fundamentally wrong.

It is true. Men are hardwired for polygamy (produce as many offspring as possible) and women are hardwired for hypergamy (produce the most fit offspring possible). Let people follow their base instincts and you'll wind up with a miserable, primitive, unstable society. And a crapload of starving babies.

(Hey, sounds a lot like our urban centers these days, doesn't it.)

This is precisely why it is so important to have a civilization rooted in Judeo-Christian values which encourage traditional marriage, faithfulness, and obedience to one's husband.

We aren't actually saying that men succumb to sexual perversion because their wives are fat are we? I present for your consideration the case of one Tiger "Idiot" Woods.

People do things for different reasons so it's hard to generalize. There's an enormous difference between a steamy affair with an attractive cocktail waitress, and sitting all alone in front of your computer staring at pictures. It is reasonable to expect that men who have normal, functioning, non-repulsive partners use pornography at a relatively low rate.

It is extremely common for wealthy and powerful men to take advantage of the opportunities afforded to them. Temptation haunts them every second of the day, and all they have to do is say "yes" and it's theirs.

[isom35]

I’m curious what happened to his collection. If I could borrow it....uhhhh....for research purposes only of course.