Top 15 Ways To Mess Up a Marriage

Aggie Catholics ^ | 6/10/2010 | Marcel LeJeune

[markomalley]

I decided that I would do another "How To Mess Up" list and offer:

Top 15 Ways To Mess Up A Marriage

1. Have Premarital Sex - This can be with your future spouse or not. Regardless, the statistics show that it means a much higher chance of a failed marriage.
2. Cohabitate - This doubles your chance of divorcing your spouse well over 60%! Go with this one if you almost certainly want to mess up a marriage.
3. Cheat on your spouse - This can be with a real person or with porn. Either messes up a marriage.

4. Drink too much or use drugs - This one is a great way to love a thing more than your spouse.
5. Marry a non-Christian - Now, there are certainly marriages that succeed between believers and non-believers, but at the least you are putting a big strain on a relationship.
6. Marry for the wrong reasons - Marrying someone because you have strong emotions about them (which will eventually go away) or because they are good looking (which won't last) is a great way to eventually ruin a marriage.
7. Never Work on Communication - talking is over-rated. You should just learn to tolerate one another, not really communicate.
8. Be a Workaholic - being rich and successful is the most important thing on earth. Right?
9. Be selfish - expect your spouse to serve your every need and never expect to return the favor.

10. Have Different expectations about money or debt - Spend too much, live beyond your means, and then pay the price. Money is the #1 reason that couples argue.
11. Don't tithe - The money is your own, do what you want with it.
12. Use contraception - kids are a burden that make life miserable. Why take the risk? Of course couples that use NFP are happier, have better sex-lives, and stay married more than 95% of the time.
13. Talk negatively about your spouse - who needs to be built up anyway?
14. Make big purchases without talking about it first - want that new car? Go get it!

15. Spend more time with your friends than your spouse - they are probably more fun anyway.

This list is not exhaustive. You could be inventive and come up with another way to mess up a marriage. If you have one, let me know. We did this previously and got some additional ideas I posted here.

[KarlInOhio]

Tell her how big her bum really looks when she wears spandex.

No, honey, those pants don't make your butt look big. You butt makes those pants look big.

[tacticalogic]

I’m that way about her birthday. I can always remember what day it’s on, but I can never remember which one it is.

[Grunthor]

Marry for the wrong reasons - Marrying someone because you have strong emotions about them (which will eventually go away)

---

Love is a strong emotion. Is that not a “right reason” to marry someone?

[Caipirabob]

Talk negatively about your spouse - who needs to be built up anyway?

I call my wife "skinny" and force her to eat deserts. The last time was an Irish Bread Pudding with Whiskey sauce and a touch of Grand Marnier. I'm pretty sure it was a traumatic experience for her...

; D

[wbill]

Creative incompetence works pretty well, too. Mrs WBill wanted me to record some dumb reality TV show "So that we could enjoy it together". I'd rather go to the dentist, than sit through that drivel. And besides, she'll watch whether I'm there with her, or not.

So one week I set everything up for the wrong time, another week I set it to the wrong channel, forgot to turn something on another week, and so on. "Oops, my bad. I'm sorry, we'll just get it again next time....". Eventually, I didn't hear any more about it. :-)

[Grunthor]

Don’t tithe - The money is your own, do what you want with it.

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How does this mess up a marriage? I’ve heard of couples arguing over wether or not to tithe, but if both agree NOT to, then where’s the marital problem?

[wbill]

I can always remember what day it’s on, but I can never remember which one it is.

I "suggested" that Mrs Wbill engrave our anniversary date on the inside of our wedding ring. :-) That was a safe one.

Birthdays, I never have a problem with. Holidays, I do. They just get past me.... "Valentine's Day was last week?"

[GatorGirl]

Cop out.

Too many military people get married too early and for the wrong reason (BAH w/dependents).

We have plenty of friends with strong military marriages. Both partners need to be mature and realistic. In some ways our marriages are better—we tend not to take each other for granted.

[Grunthor]

Use contraception - kids are a burden that make life miserable. Why take the risk? Of course couples that use NFP are happier, have better sex-lives, and stay married more than 95% of the time.

---

When you have kids it makes the man rethink just how broke does he want to be after divorce and child support. That is the only reason some men stay as long as they do. How do I know? I was guilty of that.

One other point, there was a point earlier about “not living beyond your means” when it is a well known fact that it is quite expensive to raise a child and unless you can afford to have a child every year and raise them all, you should probably take some responsibility for yourself.

[dfwgator]

16. Forget to put down the toilet seat.

[Grunthor]

“In some ways our marriages are better—we tend not to take each other for granted.”

Plus the honeymooning when the deployment ends!

[askrenr]

Join the military.

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If you have the right spouse, it is not a problem. I spent 20 years in the US Army; was a Drill Sergeant twice, paratrooper 18 of those years; even spent time with 7th Group; lots of time with the 82nd and three years with 509th Airborne Battalion Combat Team. My wife and I have been married for 34 years now; she is an angel.

[GatorGirl]

;-) That is a plus!

[Alex Murphy]

The Things You Don't Say To Your Wife
Lyrics by Tim Hawkins

Hey honey have you gained
some weight in your rear-end?
That dress you wear reminds me
of my old girlfriend
And where'd you get those shoes?
I think they're pretty lame
Would you stop talking 'cause
I'm trying to watch the game

If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

I planned a hunting trip
next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you 'cause I knew
it would be OK
Go make some dinner while
I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our
old wedding video

If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

Your cooking is OK but not
like mother makes
The diamond in the ring
I bought you is a fake
Your eyes are looking puffy dear
are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary
I bought you a treadmill

If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

If you're a man who doesn't want
to get killed with a knife
These are the things you
don't say to your wife

[Desdemona]

Don’t marry a witch to begin with. I know a lot of really nice guys who made that mistake. If she’s a queen bee, check out her court. If her friends are barely tolerable, she probably is too.

[momtothree]

How about accepting aging as a normal process and not criticize. My husband can’t say a thing about my butt in spandex and I won’t say a thing about his receding hairline. Still in love after 20 years.

[BenKenobi]

That would be un-PC.

I agree with everything on this list.

[BenKenobi]

Garbage. Why is the ‘responsible’ always to follow the culture of death?

[Grunthor]

What does “culture of death” have to do with anything that I wrote?

Is it responsible for a homeless or unemployed couple to start popping out one child after another?

[HungarianGypsy]

I think a wrong reason would be marrying because someone got pregnant, then realizing you’re stuck. But, that goes with the premarital sex thing.