The Lockhorns' marriage is like a "Don't Sweat the Details" Catholic's spirituality.
Posted on 04/07/2009 1:21:32 PM PDT by NYer
This “Get Religion” writer calls a recent Gallup Poll further confirmation that there are four Catholic voter blocs. He identifies them this way:
—“Ex-Catholics. Solid for the Democrats.”
—“Cultural Catholics who may go to church a few times a year. This may be an undecided voter, but this vote leans to Democrats.”
—“Sunday-morning American Catholics. This voter is a regular in the pew and may even play some leadership role in the parish. This is the true Catholic swing vote.”
—“The ‘sweats the details’ Roman Catholic who goes to confession, is active in the full sacramental life of the parish and almost always backs the Vatican on doctrinal matters. This group is a small slice of the American Catholic pie.”
Let’s rename and redefine that last category. Instead of “sweats the details” Catholics, let’s call them:
“Bare minimum Catholics. Catholics who at least follow the ‘indispensable minimum’: the precepts of the Church.”
They are, says the Catechism:
1) to attend Mass on Sundays and other holy days of obligation and to refrain from work and activities which could impede the sanctification of those days;
2) to confess one’s sins, receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation at least once each year;
3) to receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter Season;
4) to abstain from eating meat and to observe the days of fasting established by the Church; and
5) to help to provide for the material needs of the Church, each according to his own ability.”
The precepts of the Church aren’t a legalistic thing: They are the minimum you have to do to maintain your relationship with God.
If we made a list of “the minimum you have to do to live in peace with your spouse,” the list would be the same:
1) Spend significant time with her every week (the Mass attendance obligation);
2) apologize when you offend her (confession);
3) participate in marital relations (communion obligation);
4) acknowledge her birthday and anniversary (the days of fasting and abstinence); and
5) support your spouse (the obligation to give according to ability).
Continuing the comparison: People who insist on calling themselves Catholics but don’t follow the precepts of the Church are like wives who won’t talk to their husbands, husbands who hurt their wives and refuse to apologize, wives who refuse sexual relations, husbands who are too cheap to spring for flowers or a card on those important dates, or a spouse who maintains a separate bank account and refuses to share it.
If it truly is a small group that follows the precepts of the Church, then Catholics have important work to do: It’s our duty to return as many people as possible to bare-minimum Catholicism.
The group to start with first would be the “Sunday-morning crowd.” Win them over and we’ll be able to grow that category exponentially, because it will transform our churches.
It’s not a tough sell, in the end. Find tools to help sell it here.
But do consider what effect this may be having on your three children. Making a serious effort to get to Mass demonstrates the importance of your Sunday Obligation to them. Neglecting it, for whatever reason, demonstrates to them that it really doesn't matter that much. As a parent you have greater responsibilities than to yourself.
Um i think you mean my (prior) three jobs i only have one child.
i would love to work later but have a limited train schedule
if i miss the 5 the next one isnt until 11
I think that if i miss having dinner with my child every evening would be worse for her long term.
I do make the effort to go when i can but between my 3 hour a day commute and work there is only so much time i have for anything else
But it doesn't seem to me that you're making much of an effort here. Take the train FIRST, then go to Mass. There is a website, masstimes.org, that will help you find a parish and a time when you can attend.
Remember that "man doth not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." The same is true for your child. She will see and understand more than you think.
which Mass are you referring to exactly? you mentioned lunch time mass which i cannot go to due to time and proximity. i live in a rural area so our Parish is a bit away from us. i really dont think you should judge as you obviously do not have all the facts of the situation
anyhow have a good evening
Really, if you give it an honest try you'll find it's not that hard. I travel a lot, to extremely rural areas, and I have found that I enjoy working out how to make it to Mass. It becomes a challenge. Especially in rural South Georgia which is not what you'd call a traditionally Catholic region (and usually the parish is the only one in the county or even in two counties.)
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Confession at least once a year is very important. I was on a tough schedule for a while, commuting from Vermont to NYC, but I managed to get to confession while I was staying over in NYC. If you work in a city you may be able to do it during lunch hour.
Also, I believe that the rule laid down in the middle ages still applies: that everyone must confess at least once a year as an “Easter Duty,” which I believe means some time between Ash Wednesday and Pentecost—the long Lenten and Easter season, before the return to “orginary time.”
Frankly, the bishops and priests have not put enough emphasis on this, but it still applies. And it should be possible to arrange a time with a priest if the usual, brief weekly time set aside for confession is impossible to get to.
I do feel for you - life can be really strained and tough at times and the hours seem to fly past. Just remember thought that if you take time to build God’s House (going to it is first) he promises to bulid yours. So maybe a closer better paying job is something He might have in mind for you.
I work shift work and only get one Sunday off a month - which I have to take out of annual leave.
Anyway much blessings and some prayer for more time!
Mel
This is true. Many parish priests will allow you to set an appointment which fits your schedule. Confession doesn’t take a tremendous amount of time out of your day, but it is a wonderful experience.
One time I was traveling through Chicago Midway and I noticed the airport priest who also spends time at the information desk helping travelers. I asked him if he would hear my confession and we managed to complete it between my 1 hour layover.
Many of our sacraments are quite “portable”. :)
“So maybe a closer better paying job is something He might have in mind for you.”
I have looked but the problem is my skill is so specialized that no one else needs it except my current employer. i had to move so far away from my current employer because the housing market at the time was ASTRONOMICAL. To be honest i am really hoping that my wife gets promoted (she needs to work for the health insurance, my employer does not offer a family plan) and then i can scale back. Until then i am stuck where i am. thank you for the kind words though much better than some of the people here that sounded as though they wanted to crucify me.
I'm only recently getting really serious about confession so I'm not claiming great credit here. But, I found that the once a year is very difficult because it is hard to truly examine my conscience over that length of time - for one reason. It's difficult to do much more that a blanket coverage job.
It's more useful to take a shorter period of time, be more specific. And this helps to make me more aware of each day, each choice, each occassion or near occassion. I can remember last Tuesday pretty well.
There's also the clean car effect. If your spiritual state is "cleaned" by a full and sincere attempt at examination and confession, you're more apt to keep it clean. Over a longer period one more bag of chips on the floor is less noticable, and easier to throw down.
As I get older living daily in a state of grace has so much more value, living with an unconfessed sin adds a bit of hell to each day. And makes my conscious contact of God's presence more distant, like the distance between lovers when there is something between you.
What's important and unsaid in the article, I think, is the "bare minimum" brings only the bare minimum of life and God to our years. A sacramental life is not an obligation so much as it is a great gift and tool for this life.
FWIW.
I am currently reading a book by Matthew Kelly. It’s excellent.
He talks about the three sicknesses “isms” of the secular society.
Individualism
Hedonism
Minimalism
Cery interesting.
BTW, the name of the book which I would recommend for all adult Catholics is “Rediscovering Catholicim.”
Hey, you are here, and that is what is important. Keep growing — get involved in your church.
Thanks for sharing!
Right now with Obama and the way all the inside guys are working together to dismantle the Republic, I would recommend going to Confession at least every three months. If I get to 1 month or 6 weeks, I know it is time to go.
Just remember that God forgives and FORGETS all your confessed sins!
Blessings to you
Man - I know exactly what you are going through - I wanted to give up my job for years and have a normal type of life and go to church every Sunday. Eventually I had to accept that God may have wanted me there as I have a good influence over a lot of people and I am very good at the job I do. Be thankful in all things - not all the lessons we learn are we gonna get at Church.
Blessings
Mel
Mel
Thanks
this is a heck of a lot better than what most of the people here have been saying to me. Never mind my commute and my schedule but just being so bloody tired all the time doesnt help either. Anyhow your understanding is much appreciated.
take care
“Keep growing — get involved in your church.”
you know i tried that, joined the Knights of Columbus to do some volunteer work when i could
however a similar problem ensued - i could not make meetings because i get home too late from work. When i did have the time to volunteer all anyone did was ask me why i didnt go to meetings, see me at church etc. I was doing what i could and chastised for not doing more never mind the three jobs (at the time) wife working and a young child. Turned me off from doing that ever again you would think that my help would have been appreciated but nope like most people here i was basically looked down upon for not doing more.
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