Replies

John C. Wright

From his blog

Now that I am a Catholic
First question: Where does my new name go? I am John Justin-Martyr Charles Wright? Or does it go after my middle name: John Charles Justin-Martyr Wright? Do I use the whole saint's name (Justin Martyr) or only his Christian name (Justin)?

Someone call the Pope and ask him.

Next question: suppose I want to be an albino assassin flagellant from Opus Dei, sent by the magisterium to separate (or "incise") the familiar spirit of science fiction author Phillip Pullman from his daemon, effectively robbing him of his humanity, before turning him over to the secular arm, but an opportunity arises to dirk to death the girl-messiah known as Aenea from the planet Endymion, marked for death by the Cyberpapacy. How do I reconcile this with the Christian injunction to turn the other cheek, and the benediction that blesses the peacemakers?

I have heard my whole life how corrupt and superstitious the Catholic Church is, so, now that I am in, where do I sign up? I'd like to start with Simony. Can I buy Church offices wholesale, and then sell them through retail outlets? What are the tax implications?

Third question: why are my favorite authors, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Gene Wolfe, Mike Flynn, G.K. Chesterton, all members of this monstrous Syriac cult known as Christianity? I do like my freethinker authors just fine, but Bob Heinlein, Ayn Rand, Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke seem to have trouble with realism in characterization, both with their invented people, and with their invented societies.

Don't get me wrong, I love their books, love and reread them many times, but the people who don't believe in souls don't seem to be able to portray their characters three-dimensionally and solidly, that is, as if their characters had souls.

Mark Shea Explains it All
In re my last post, the always-wise Mark Shea steps forward in the spirit of Catholic brotherhood to answer my questions.

These kinds of How-do-I-become-a-successful-Opus-Dei-assassin questions are what mystagogia is for.

In answer to your questions: Your birth name has been erased from all records, both written and electronic. You are now always and only Justin Martyr to us, the perfect Philospher Spy. You will do as we bid, go where we command and think only what we allow. Your identity has been erased and all who knew of your existence have been liquidated. You report directly to the Vatican. Your password is "Lancer".

Next: The command to turn the other cheek is, of course, a Jesuitical interpolation designed to keep your victim's blood from spurting in your eyes as you carry out the great work of purifying the world of the wicked who stand in the way of Total Vatican Power. As you can see from the headlines, progress toward that goal is proceeding unhindered the Catholic Church continues its unchecked march to power and prestige in all the wealthiest countries of the world. The iron grip of DerPanzerPope in Europe is almost total now and the tentacles of our conspiracies now enmesh most of the branches of government. From the imminent repeal of abortion law to the unquestioning obedience paid by our civil authorities to Catholic teaching to the slavish and puritanical fealty paid to the Magisterium by Hollywood, the music industry, and other manufacturers of culture, our total conquest of the West is nearly achieved! Soon victory will be ours!

By the way, since the IRS is actually run by the Many-Tentacled Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Special Ops Unit, you don't have to worry about tax codes. Just place your earnings in a pentagram drawn in the dust on your floor, drip a little of your own blood over it and recite a brief spell in Latin and you'll be fine. Standard Catholic practice.

Last question: Your favorite authors were people living under the regime of false consciousness who would not abandon the notions that tedious, flawed, filthy human beings were more important than precious, clean, clear, tidy diagrams. A lot of them even smoked, which tells you all you need to know about them.

When do I get access to the Vatican library of Porn? I want to see the risque centerfolds painted by Michaelangelo of Lucretia Borgia. I hear she was a real looker.

Now all I need is my secret decoder ring, my assassin's strangle-wire hidden in my rosary, a Guy Fawkes mask, a pair of sanctified rocket-boots, and a shotgun whose stock contains a relic of St. Barbara, an armored Popemobile, and I am all ready to fight supercrime and heresy wherever it appears! Deus Vult!

I just hope the omnidroid created by Richard Dawkins in his secret volcano-base on Skull Island does not find me before I can swallow the Secret Power Bread that is the source of my strength! I carry a pellet of that bread in a secret compartment in my crucifix-shaped switchblade-throwing-star.

I just hope they don't ask me to pray, repent and confess my sins, live purely, or tithe to charity or anything. I would hate to join a demanding religion. Whew. Glad I dodged that bullet!

When do I get to meet the monk from Q division who makes our weapons?

I can tell the difference between a rigorous argument and shrill psychological flatulence. I can see the difference between a dwarf and a giant.

The chiasm is nice, but "I can see the difference between a giant and a dwarf" sounds better.

Tag for later

ping.

Wonderful! Science fiction is important.

I often think of Walter Miller's 1960 novel, A Canticle for Leibowitz, which is now forgotten but I believe to be very important still. One thing that I remember is that people were not allowed by the Church (which is the basis for the story) because there was a part of these monsters that was still human.

This is absolutely marvelous! How wonderful, and how wonderful of you to post it for us to enjoy!

I’m going to have to go read the blog. I laughed out loud!

ping

Tick tick tick

Awating the inevitable “If he joined the Catholic Church he’s still going to Hell ‘becasue they are apostates, yada, yada, yada...” from a certain segment of the readership

tick, tick, tick

Wonderful story. Thank you.

It’s so enlightening and uplifting for those of us who are cradle Catholics to know the extent of the philosophical and theological journey that these folks go through in a hostile environment.

In 2008 he converted to the Roman Catholic Church of which he approvingly stated "If Vulcans had a church, they'd be Catholics."

LOL! I haven't read any of his books or stories.

A Sci-Fi writer? He’s gotta the one who’s been writing the encyclicals for while now.

Thanks. This was vivifying to read.

Welcome home, John C. Wright!

Thank you. You posted on one of my recent 50 Days of Easter 2008 Celebration threads, dedicated to converts to the Catholic faith, and you did not ask to be removed.

If you want to be on the list, but are not on it already, or if you are on it but do not want to be, let me know either publicly or privately.

Happy Easter. Christ is risen!

Alex.

Previously posted conversion sotries:

Anti-Catholicism, Hypocrisy and Double Standards
Why I Returned to the Catholic Church. Part I: Darkness
Why I Returned to the Catholic Church. Part II: Doubts
Why I Returned to the Catholic Church. Part III: Tradition and Church
Why I Returned to the Catholic Church. Part IV: Crucifix and Altar
Why I Returned to the Catholic Church. Part V: The Catholics and the Pope
Why I Returned to the Catholic Church. Part VI: The Biblical Reality
His Open Arms Welcomed Me
Catholic Conversion Stories & Resources
My Personal Conversion Story
My (Imminent) Reception into the Roman Catholic Church
Catholics Come Home
My Journey of Faith
LOGIC AND THE FOUNDATIONS OF PROTESTANTISM
"What is Truth?" An Examination of Sola Scriptura