Top Ten Changes a Catholic Majority would Make to the Supreme Court [Humor]

BenedictBlog ^ | 10/31/05 | Benedict

[Unam Sanctam]

As David Bernstein points out today in this post on The Volokh Conspiracy, the confirmation of Judge Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court will result in a Catholic majority on that bench. It seems timely, therefore, to speculate on the potential changes in store for that august institution:

10) Meat-less Fridays all year round in the Supreme Court cafeteria;

9) Oral arguments in Latin;

8) The bones of Chief Justice Marshall will be disinterred and placed in a glass coffin in the center of the Supreme Court bench;

7) Collections between each session of oral argument;

6) Supreme Court windows replaced with stained glass;

5) On close votes, the Justices will consult a statue of St. Thomas More. If the statue weeps, they affirm; if no tears, then they reverse.

4) Incense at the start of each session;

3) Supreme Court opinions will be deemed infallible and unreviewable by any earthly authority [Ed. - Sorry - that does not appear to be a change at all]

2) Catechism of the Catholic Church will now be "persuasive authority";

And, the number one change which a Catholic majority would make to the Supreme Court . . .

1) Wednesday night bingo!

[Unam Sanctam]

Just a joke everybody!

[Salvation]

LOL! Especially at the bingo!

[bitt]

'9) Oral arguments in Latin; '

HA!

[Salvation]

How about this one?

Mea culpa, if an argument was wrong. (Don't know if it should come from the defendant or the paintiff, however.

[dangus]

No, #1 is:
There's a giant carving of the ten commandments as you enter the building, but everyone pretends they're not there. Oh, wait... No change there, either.

(Not to scadalize the whole RCC... I'm just a little frustrated with a liberal pastor.)

[Salvation]

Invoke The Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel whenever an atheist enters the court. i.e. Newdow

[AZ Rangers Wifey]

I love Bingo. *smiling*

[potlatch]

LOL, funny ping!

[writer33]

Protestants are doomed! Doomed I tell you!

:)

[potlatch]

[potlatch]

bitt, #11 was for you too. My brains going...

[AZ Rangers Wifey]

Come into the rectory, and have some of this nice Kool-Aid, you will feel better afterwards. All good Catholic children love Kool-Aid, and it's a good bargain! Kool-Aid and bingo, tartan plaid skirts, white shirts, blue knee socks and saddle shoes. Teachers that sometimes resemble penguins. Everyone will adjust, as long as your have your Kool-Aid...

Ok, just joking, happy Halloween (still in AZ for 30 more minutes) :-)

[writer33]

It's all in the Kool-Aid.

And it's been too long since I had a mass with incense. I loved the incense masses.

[AZ Rangers Wifey]

My bestest memories are of Midnight Mass, and fish sticks on Friday with macaroni and cheese. That's just living folks! And a good Irish Catholic Priest to listen to you confess your "impure thoughts"...when I was young if I could not think of something to confess, it was not uncommon for me to confess to things I did not do just to be certain I did not bore the Priest, and I knew there were things that I probably deserved penance for, that would ellude me when I got in the confessional. The first time I stepped into a Protestant church I thought the floor and ground beneath it might open up and swallow me whole or the roof would cave in on me!
Ah such fond memories, our gym teacher was a nun that was retired from the Marines, she actually wore combat boots. A Marine drill instructor in a Penguin suit. Long ago and miles and many years away...the Kool-Aid and the bingo (okay and sometimes the fish sticks and macaroni and cheese) are the only things that have completely endured the time. (And I still love Midnight Mass! :-)

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

Will Protestants still have 'standing' inside, or will we have to stand in the outer courtyard, like we did as the unwashed Gentiles in Jewish Tabernacle days? Hooooboy, second class citizens again....

;^)

clever list bump!

[AZ Rangers Wifey]

Won't you come in and join us for some Kool-Aid? My momma and grandmother were always giving the neighborhood kids a snack even the little Protestant children. :-) We do like most everyone (and in my grandmother's case, I am not sure if she knew my siblings and me from the other kids, we always had a houseful of children )! There won't be a problem, I'm sure.

[Kryptonite]

LOL! This former Protestant and current Catholic thinks that is HILARIOUS.

But I think Number 1 has to be that loser *confesses* to sin of errant advocacy!

[kingu]

To replace the obsolete number three, I submit the following..

Losing a ruling from the Supreme Court can be reversed by an action of contrition. Bids start at ten million.

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

"There won't be a problem, I'm sure."

;^)


The only "Catholic" problem would be is with false Catholics like Kerry and Kennedy...that ain't Kool-Aid in Teddy's communism goblet.


No, I didn't mean communion....