Posted on 09/12/2003 7:33:21 PM PDT by nwrep
OLD WALLED CITY: Speaking to reporters at a press conference called during his trip to the Middle East, Allah today said that there is an acute shortage of virgins in paradise.
"The stock of virgins, carefully cultivated since the middle ages, is now facing a rapid decline. This has presented us with our most serious situation in a millenium", he said, in response to a question. The extraordinary popularity of suicide terrorism, beginning in the 1970s, was to blame, he suggested.
"Martyrs can no longer assume they will get all 72 virgins promised unto them in the scriptures, and will have to wait, sometimes for long periods of time, to get the divinely promised quota", he warned.
NEW RECRUITMENT STRATEGY
However, to remedy the situation, Allah also announced greater emphasis in recruitment drives for virgins, as well as a new strategy which takes advantage of resources that had traditionally not been tapped.
"We are ready to dip into the vast pool of virgins available in the western world", he said, while handing out photographs shown below as examples.
Forgive us for making fun of the extremists who use your religion. I realize that if you believe Islam to be a peaceful religion that must be distressful to you.
From the Christian viewpoint though, it doesn't matter whether Islam is peaceful or barbaric. When God judges man, He doesn't judge him based on whether he was better than average or a relatively good man. He judges man by His own standard, which is perfect Holiness. Thus all men stand condemned which is a concept repeated in both the Old and New Testaments.
There are two ways to heaven and the first one doesn't count. The first one is never sin, be holy. Nobody does that. So it doesn't count. The good that you do is only what you should have done anyway. Thus, there is no way to make up for your sin. There is no way to earn salvation.
The second way to heaven is to be forgiven. The only way to be forgiven is to accept the substitutionary sacrifice that God made on our behalfs which is Jesus. Jesus is God incarnate, the son of God, the child prophesized by Isaiah in Isa 9:6 and Isa 53.
Isa 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever.
Isa53:11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. 12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Forgive us for making fun of the extremists who use your religion. I realize that if you believe Islam to be a peaceful religion that must be distressful to you.
From the Christian viewpoint though, it doesn't matter whether Islam is peaceful or barbaric. When God judges man, He doesn't judge him based on whether he was better than average or a relatively good man. He judges man by His own standard, which is perfect Holiness. Thus all men stand condemned which is a concept repeated in both the Old and New Testaments.
There are two ways to heaven and the first one doesn't count. The first one is never sin, be holy. Nobody does that. So it doesn't count. The good that you do is only what you should have done anyway. Thus, there is no way to make up for your sin. There is no way to earn salvation.
The second way to heaven is to be forgiven. The only way to be forgiven is to accept the substitutionary sacrifice that God made on our behalfs which is Jesus. Jesus is God incarnate, the son of God, the child prophesized by Isaiah in Isa 9:6 and Isa 53.
Isa 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever.
Isa53:11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. 12 Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Actual Quotes from the Koran: (Yusufali's translation of the Qur'an, the most widely trusted)
"Kill the disbelievers wherever we find them" (Koran 2:191)
"Ye are the best of peoples evolved for mankind." (Koran 3:110)
"The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and his messenger and strive after corruption in the land will be to be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet and genitals cut off, or to be expelled out of the land. Such will be their humiliation in the world, and in the next world they will face an awful horror." (Koran, 5:33-34)
"Not to make friendship with Jews and Christians" (Koran 5:51)
"Remember Allah inspired the angels: I am with you. Give firmness to the believers. I will instill terror into the hearts of the unbelievers: you smite them above their necks and smite all their fingertips off of them." (Koran, 8:12)
"In order that Allah may separate the pure from the impure, put all the impure ones [all non-Muslims] one on top of another in a heap and cast them into hell. They will have been the ones to have lost." (Koran, 8:37)
"If there are twenty amongst you, you will vanquish two hundred: if a hundred, you will vanquish a thousand of them [infidels]" (Koran 8:65).
Allah and his messenger announce that it is acceptable to go back on our promises (treaties) and obligations with Pagans and make war on them whenever we find ourselves strong enough to do so (Koran 9:3)
"Fight and slay the Pagans, seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem" (Koran 9:5)
Our God tells us to "fight the unbelievers" and "He will punish them by our hands, cover them with shame and help us (to victory) over them" (Koran 9:14).
"Until they pay the Jizya [a penalty tax for the non-Muslims living under Islamic rules] with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued" (Koran 9:29)
"Unless we go forth, (for Jihad) He will punish us with a grievous penalty, and put others in our place" (9:39).
"O Prophet! Make war against the unbelievers [all non-Muslims] and the hypocrites and be merciless against them. Their home is hell, an evil refuge indeed." (Koran, 9:73)
"Murder them and treat them harshly" (Koran 9:123)
"When you meet the unbelievers in jihad [holy war], chop off their heads. And when you have brought them low, bind your prisoners rigorously. Then set them free or take ransom from them until the war is ended." (Koran, 47:40)
"When we decide to destroy a population, we send a definite order to them who have the good things in life and yet sin. So that Allah's word is proven true against them, then we destroy them utterly." (Koran, 17:16-17)
"How many were the populations we utterly destroyed because of their sins, setting up in their place other peoples." (Koran, 21:11)
"strike off the heads of the disbelievers" (Koran 47:4)
"Seize ye him, and bind ye him, And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire. Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits! This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High. And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent! So no friend hath he here this Day. Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds, Which none do eat but those in sin." (Koran 69:30-37)
"You (i.e. Muslims) will fight wi the Jews till some of them will hide behind stones. The stones will (betray them) saying, 'O 'Abdullah (i.e. slave of Allah)! There is a Jew hiding behind me; so kill him.' " (Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 52, Number 177)
The Prophet killed the men of the Jewish tribe Bani Quraiza (some 600 to 800 of them) and distributed their women, children and property among the Muslims All the other Jews of Medina were exiled. (Bukhari 5:59:362)
The Prophet had the date-palms of the Jewish tribe of Bani-Al- Nadir burnt and cut down. "It was with Allah's permission" (Koran 59:5)
The Prophet said to Sa'd, :The Bani Quraiza have agreed to accept your verdict" Sa'd said, "Kill all their men and take their women and children as slaves" The Prophet replied, "You have judged according to God's Judgment" (Bukhari 5:59:447)
"The Christians say: The Christ is the son of Allah; "Fight against such as those to whom the Scriptures were given [Jews and Christians]...until they pay tribute out of hand and are utterly subdued." (Surah 9:29)
These are the words of their mouths; they imitate the saying of those who disbelieved before; may Allah destroy them." (Sura 9:30)
"Unbelievers are those who say: 'God is one of three.' There is but one God. If they do not desist from so saying, those of them that disbelieve shall be sternly punished." (Surah 5:73)
Jesus died for your sins. Mohammed would kill you for yours.
Pedophile : married a girl a SIX years of age and consummated it.
Murdering treacherous brigand: Picked a moon god (of 365 pagan dieties in Arabia) for his god. Signed 10 year treaty of peace with Medina and then promptly broke it when he invaded. Killed the men and enslaved the women and children.
People that follow your book to the letter and the spirit seem to have an excellent shot at killing lots of innocent people.
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