Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[ImFightingMad]

I am writing this to make this Legal Tragedy better known and also in hope that someone could help the thousands of us in this tragic situation.

Like many Americans at this time, I have been laid off. This in itself is bad enough for most Americans, but those of us that have been divorced face a Legal Tragedy that is against The Constitution and all moral concepts. Men are almost exclusively affected by what I am about to tell you. This shows the discrimination of the courts and the laws in this country.

Since I have been laid off, I am only “earning” unemployment insurance, which is only 16.6% of my previous gross income. I therefore cannot pay the alimony and child support that the courts ordered in my divorce in Florida. I do not even have enough money for my own expenses. The courts in Florida are looking at finding me in contempt of court because of non-payment. They would therefore put me in jail along with countless others for the same reason. This makes no legal or moral sense in many ways:

1. If I was still married and got laid off, would the courts care, of course not! The family would have to do what they could to survive. But, since I have been divorced, and there is no relationship anymore, I’m supposed to support them over supporting myself, otherwise go to jail. How does this make any logical, moral or legal sense? Why is it that since I am divorced I have a greater financial responsibility than I ever did when I was married? Why should all of my rights be taken away because I am unemployed now, and yet my ex-wife is suppose to maintain the same or better lifestyle as when I was employed? This again, would not be the case if I were still married. This shows that divorce laws take precedence over basic human rights and are stronger laws than marriage itself, which is a bond with God.

2. If I’m in jail, how am I supposed to find a job? After being in jail, it would be very difficult, if not impossible, to ever find a good job again!

3. This type of incarceration was abolished with the 13th Amendment. Which prohibits Involuntary Servitude. Also 8 USCA-56 prohibits Peonage.

Why should my life and other’s be completely destroyed just because we were ever married and now unemployed?

Isn’t the fact that I, and many others have lost our jobs enough of a tragedy in itself? How does completely destroying the rest of our lives solve anything? In this situation, what could any of us ever do to help ourselves?

I was extremely involved in the 2000 Presidential election, supporting George Bush. I lived and worked in Austin, Texas, but I was still a registered voter in Florida. The government and country that I so dearly loved and put so much energy into, has now let me down.

Please Help!

[shaggy eel]

No, the losers are the ones paying $4,500 per month and who are not getting to see their kids.

,,, been there, done that.

[moondancer]

i agree with your post 100% (#358) last night i couldnt quit thinking about this thread and came to much of the same conclusions.
theres NOW and then there are some male groups that are really just the same, in reverse, these 2 are the groups that make the most noise and for some reason get the most changes. none of which are good.
i think the liberal agenda is to destroy heterosexual marraiges and the best way to do that is by deviding and conquering which is what these groups do..they are also doing all the can to get rid of christian values.
theres lots of things we could "try" and do to fix the system, but the bottom line is we have to stop getting INTO the system. like you said, stay married, hold tight to your faith, otherwise we all lose.
this will probally get me flamed, but the truth is both sides are falling prey to the liberal mind set of quick and easy divorce...men and women alike trade up or need to "find themselves", we divorce alot of times (not all the time) for "liberal reasons" then be angry that we get shafted in a liberal system.

[moondancer]

how can they deny you visitation? i thought the two were seperate issues? your x wife sounds malicious!

[MEGoody]

A man who has been laid off should not have to pay child support or alimony for at least a few months after he finds a new job so he can get caught up with other things. (Especially if his ex-wife is working.)

On the other hand, any guy who runs from job to job trying to outrun the law (or refuses to work at all) so he doesn't have to pay child support is a scumbag and should go to jail.

[MEGoody]

(By the way, the words "woman," "she" and "gal" can be substituted in my post as appropriate.)

[Capt.YankeeMike]

The only solution for divorced dads is to move in with a gal who is getting child support from her ex in an amount = to or greater than the amount you have to pay....LOL
The Wily ol Captain.

[moondancer]

LOL although that depends greatly on how evil and litigatory her X is...might cost ya more!

[shaggy eel]

how can they deny you visitation? i thought the two were seperate issues? your x wife sounds malicious!

,,, the whole process is set up to assist the woman to make a break and isolate the father. I'm a New Zealander and I live in New Zealand, but the issue poses very few differences to what's occuring anywhere in the western world. The Family Court here is a closed Court - and for good reason. A father is deemed an acceptable loss to the family here. Men hold a perception that you support your wife and children. That notion follows thru after separation, but the problem arises when child support and access are firmly spelled out as being two different issues.

The right to phone my two kids on Tuesday and Thursday at 7,00pm sharp cost me $NZ5200. Lawyers are the winners. Legal aid ensures the ex can argue over anything she wants while you pay as you go @ $NZ230,00 per hour plus GST (like State tax at 12,5%).

Even when I've been to Australia I've phoned the kids and have only missed doing so four times because I've been in areas out of cellphone coverage or the batteries have crapped out.

If the ex decides not to be home for them to take my calls, that's my problem - the Court order won't be enforced by police who are now used mainly for speeding revenue collection.

The whole story is pitifully loaded against guys who are being broken every day. I'm not saying all guys are angels, of course.

[moondancer]

really your situation sounds awful...cant you call the kids whenever you want?
while i agree and seen from these posts that mostly the guy gets screwed if youve read my past posts my x makes alot of the Xwives on this thread look like they are eligable for st. hood and our courts are way sided to the father and the mother is always some alienating wench, true! i think it all depends on your judge or commissioner and which side of the liberal pendalum he swings from.
i dont understand the point of monitoring when you can call. my X can call any time day or night, any day of the week, he simply chooses to have minimul contact with his son. ive had to practically beg him to spend more time and be more involved only to have him reduce it even more. too bad the good dads dont get all the benis in the courts and the bad ones get nailed...seems from this thread the opposite happens.

[gogeo]

Find out how life works for divorced parents...then speak with knowledge.

[moondancer]

life for divorced parents its a real B---

[gogeo]

I'm laid off, divorced, and have two children living with me and have never received a frickin' dime of child support. Last I checked I'm owed near 30K. So quit whinging.

Does he owe it to you? Why is that his problem?

[gogeo]

Quite frankly, I can think of much bigger legal travesties than injustices against able bodied men unwilling to put forth the effort and ego shrinkage required to behave responsibly.

So...all non-custodial dads are deadbeats? A guy who has to pay more than he earns is a deadbeat?

Is everyone like your ex?

[Capt.YankeeMike]

Wow. Your story is similar to mine. I went on a fishing trip 3 years ago, and came home she had changed the locks and told me if i didnt leave she'd call the sheriff and make up a story. Her daughter was there (my step daughter, whom i taught to drive and supported her ass through college) and of course she said shed back up the ex's story. I went to an attourney and she said what the ex did was basically illegal, what to do? I lived in my jeep for a month, bought a TINY little house in the ghetto on contract and she basically stole my nice house (It was mine before we got married, still only in my name) I am flumoxed as to what to do, dont know if i have any options but just to let the courts have their way.

But....after about a year, i started seeing my boys almost any time i wanted, and thats alot. (they and I kept pestering her till she finally gave up holding them out on me) and i have been dating A LOT of MUCH BETTER looking YOUNGER women, just about any time i want. Its amazing, they all thought they were going to get a "better deal" by divorcing and finding someone else, but theres no way in heck that i will ever get married again, i am actually having a great time. LOL

The Capt.

[Capt.YankeeMike]

you are correct. see my post to this affect. I pretty much have my pic of hotties, and i am successful, but not that great looking by any stretch. I have never once even uttered the marriage word......LOL

[Saundra Duffy]

This is indeed tragic and all too common. If I told you what happened to my son, you'd cry buckets, so I'll spare you the details. Hint: HE GOT SCREWED!!

I am very sorry for this mess and I have no solutions. Prayer is the only thing I can think of.

May the Good Lord give you peace in the midst of this storm and may your troubles be overcome by Divine intervention - In Jesus Name - Amen.

[gogeo]

Some men get the raw end of the deal in divorce, but in most cases it's the women and children who get the raw end of the deal. That's why the laws are the way they are.

Snork!!!

[gogeo]

Let me repeat my previous statementon: Post your anti-marriage crap on some other BB, like democraticundergound.com

That's the future.

[buzzyboop]

Read his post. He's tried, no success. Sass, either you don't have a clue, or you don't care.

[shaggy eel]

i dont understand the point of monitoring when you can call.

,,, it's a control thing. "Do as you're told, little boy." It's all part of keeping you in your place. Once they have legal aid, they're the ruling class.

It took me a while to work out what was happening but I got clinical with a guy I met, probably a year or so after I was thrown out. I met him at a party one night and he had heard my story before. He told me the whole play pivoted on scarcity. She had the kids and I wanted to see them. If I couldn't, my natural reaction as a parent was to either get violent or withdraw. I withdrew. He told me to phone the kids as always, but under no circumstances ask to see them.

Her weapon ceased to exist. She moved into panic mode because she had no gun to hold over me. I was "busy", I had "other arrangements"... it simply wasn't possible.

The problem was a lot less of a problem once I applied the advice - simple, but not easy to see if you're in the middle of it. Intelligent women don't use children in this way. Intelligent men don't choose women like her! [LOL]