Entering the belly of The BEAST. My day with Hillary

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Today was a very special day.

I had the supreme opportunity to meet Hillary Rottenbottom at Miejer's Thrifty Acres, in Auburn Hills, Michigan.

I arrived around 10:30 am, for her 11:00 am book signing. The parking lot was packed.

I went into the store and was confronted by a sea of overweight housewives in white T shirts and shorts. You would have thought that this was an e-ticket ride for DisneyWorld. Fanny packs abound.

The line wound around the perimeter of the store. Hundreds upon hundreds of clones. All so very excited. They were there to meet their Queen.

I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels, and I didn't feel like standing there for 2 hours just to meet her hieniousness.

Suddenly a dear friend of mine who is the camerman for a news station saw me in line, and asked what in the world I was doing there. I told him that I was up to shenanigans, and he told me to come with him, and pulled me out of line. He took me up near the front and placed me in line. I was about 25 people back from the Throne Of Hillary.

As I was waiting, I just stood and listened to the lobotomized clones around me. They could barely contain their glee. " Hillary is so wonderful. She will be our greatest president"." She is the best wife and mother"........

And don't even get me started about the wimpy men that were in line. It was mostly women, but there were a couple of husbands, probably because their wives were too overwrought with emotion to drive themselves to the Thrifty Acres.

Suddenly, with a smidgen of fanfare, from the bowells of hell, appears Hillary!. I called an audible. I said " Oh lord, she has a soccer ball in there". Oops, I didn't know I said that out loud. Silly me.

Yes indeed folks, Hillary, looking ever so hideous in a fuschia jacket, black trousers, and black sensible shoes, actually looks like she has a soccerball in her belly. Maybe it's a tumor, heck if I know, but there is something there. Hey, maybe it's a fannypack!

Today was obviously not a 'bath day' for the old gal. Her hair was undone, no makeup, no lipstick, but she did have earrings.

As we got closer, women around me started crying. Yes, you read that right, they were CRYING! They couldn't wait to meet Hillary. I honestly thought that some of them would pass out and die on the spot. It was from either too much excitement, or the copious amount of doughnuts that they had consumed over their lifetime.

There was an elderly lady in front of me that asked me for support. She felt faint from all the excitement.

..............as a small aside, Hillary is fuzzy. Remember those soaps you had as a kid, you got them wet and in a few days they grew fuz? Hillary has a very fuzzy face. And it's very round. Pumpkin round. Fuzzy and round and falling. Gravity is not being kind. ..........

Back to the old lady....

She kibbitzed with Hillary about how proud she was of her and how she will be a great president. Hillary shook her head, signed the books that were being shoved in front of her, and then came me.

I was in orange and fuschia in the sea of white T shirts and Hillary buttons. Hillary was signing away and I said " Who's on the cover of your book?"

IF LOOKS COULD KILL.

Hillary and I did lazer beam eyeballs of hate to each other.

If only she knew that the one questioning her was actually her nemesis...Hillary's Lovely Legs.

Suddenly a vice-like grip was on my left arm, and I was pulled away from Hillary. They handed me my book, and I was on my way.

My cameraman friend said he got it on tape and hopes he can use it, but he wanted to know what in the world I said to her to make her use her " GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE face".

I told him that I said " I have Vince Foster's murder on tape".

My silly friend, he thought I was serious. I told him what I really said and he laughed. I hope to get a copy of the tape. It will be priceless.

So I left the Thrifty Acres among the clones clutching their precious books with tears in their eyes, and as I was exiting, I came across the Hillary Rodham Clinton Support Group.

This is an organization of old bitties from Ann Arbor. They all had on matching T-Shirts with a big photo of Hillary on it. They carried signs that said " Hillary" and matching sun visors. They were going to go in for a private meeting with Hillary and a photo session. They have been so supportive of her, she had been through so much and is such a wonderful woman. ( oh spare me)

So that's it. I entered the belly of the beast and got to see old fuzzy face and survived.

So where's my T-shirt?

[Las Vegas Dave]

Pinging NE Ohio Freepers!

[Kathleen]

Very nice work, HLL. Hitlery is probably concealing a cash register beneath Old Crusty these days.

[CheneyChick]

Fuzzy AND Crusty?!!

[Humidston]

there was the koolaid drinker who said, "we just love Hillary.

I think the best strategy would be for Freepers to ask one question:

"WHY??? GIVE US A REASON!" Keep repeating even though you hear silence...

[RightOnline]

Absolutely hilarious..............bravo.

[sweetliberty]

I'm sure Mud would get a a satisfied feeling reading your report and I'll bet doug could do a song about Hillary's "fuzzy face." Y'all gotta check this out if you haven't already.

[<1/1,000,000th%]

I was in orange and fuschia in the sea of white T shirts and Hillary buttons. Hillary was signing away and I said " Who's on the cover of your book?"

LOLOL!!

You've got a lot of nerve. Have you ever considered the special forces?

Great post!!!

[BillF]

Also when and were do Michigan Freepers (Greater Metro Detroit) Meet?

I can't answer that, but from what Hillary's Lovely Legs says Michigan FReepers never met.

Please follow the below procedure and you can be notified about local matters.

I pinged the thread about the Hillary event to all who had set Michigan as their locale.

All FReepers, please go to this page (click here) and set your locale (state where you live).

By setting your state, you are more likely to get notice of local FReeps, meetings, and secret conspiracy planning sessions in advance.

(You must be logged in to set your state, but most people log in once and do NOT need to log in each time they go to FR.)

[Humidston]

Thanks for the ping, Eaker!

HLL, this is a classic! If you get pics, you could probably sell them for thousands, LOL!!

[teeman8r]

nice job on the freep and the report... next time she has her cronies hauling you away scream in a shrill voice that you are tired of not being able to voice your opinion in america where debating the other side of an issue should not be considered unpatriotic and you will continue to argue and debate and point out the hypocracy inherent in the system.... help! help! i'm being oppressed!

[YaYa123]

" Who's on the cover of your book?"

Ouch!

[YaYa123]

" Who's on the cover of your book?"

Ouch!

[upchuck]

Suddenly, with a smidgen of fanfare, from the bowells of hell, appears Hillary!. I called an audible. I said " Oh lord, she has a soccer ball in there". Oops, I didn't know I said that out loud. Silly me. Yes indeed folks, Hillary, looking ever so hideous in a fuschia jacket, black trousers, and black sensible shoes, actually looks like she has a soccerball in her belly. Maybe it's a tumor, heck if I know, but there is something there. Hey, maybe it's a fannypack!

Ya think it's a soccer ball? Maybe a little small. I think it's a basketball!

Hillary was signing away and I said " Who's on the cover of your book?"

Good question HLL:

[BillF]

"WHY??? GIVE US A REASON!" Keep repeating even though you hear silence...

Outstanding question and listening to the responses are useful to understand the Clinton Kool-Aide drinkers. However, I doubt that silence would be what you would hear.

Responses will be:

"She cares about the children"

"All she's done for the children"
[follow up question: "what has she done" answered
by "Hillary helped them." "How?" "By caring so much about them!"]

"I just admire her for all she's been though"

None of the Hillary worshippers' responses will make sense, but arguing against the lack of logic in their reasons is doomed to failure.

The Clinton Kool-Aide drinkers are stuck in a cult of personality and, sadly, are beyond our power to help. We just have to insure that they don't further drag down our wonderful country beyond the damage inflicted by DIRT-XXX-POTUS.

[ladyinred]

This is great!!! It sounds as if they are worshipping the Goddess or something! The cult of her piggieness! I do hope you get the tape, it would be wonderful to see the look on her fuzzy wuzzy face when you asked her that!

[freekitty]

Good going, Hilalry's Lovely Legs. What a great time you must have had.

[Hildy]

Oh my gosh, she's wearing a suit with a Nehru collar. The last time I saw that, Richard Nixon was still in the White House!!!

[Eaker]

Oh the difference!

[Doctor Raoul]

I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels......

You are such a tease.

[Doctor Raoul]

I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels......

You are such a tease.