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Posted on 08/10/2003 2:17:52 PM PDT by demlosers
Saarbrucken, Germany - Police in Germany blamed a record-breaking heat wave for making a quiet family man go berserk and set his wife on fire on Saturday as authorities urged Germans to try to keep their cool in the heat.
As temperatures soared to an all-time record of 42 degrees Celsius in southern Germany, the 56-year-old man and his wife sought refuge from the heat in their garden allotment in suburban Saarbrucken on Friday evening.
In what was believed to be a dispute over barbecue technique, the man poured charcoal lighter fuel over his wife and ignited it. The 55-year-old woman was reported to be in critical condition on Saturday with third-degree burns.
Heat-related altercations, knifings, shootings and domestic disputes have been reported nationwide. In eastern Germany a man stabbed his wife to death in a fight over whether to turn on the kitchen oven.
In Sinsheim, autobahn police stopped a Dutch animal transport after motorists reported that the cargo of 170 pigs appeared to be suffering in the heat.
Police said at least five pigs were dead and dozens of others were injured as the heat-crazed animals fought for access to water trough spigots.
In Berlin, authorities said they were considering power brownouts if the heat continues into next week.
A Berlin police spokesperson urged calm, saying: "People in Germany are not used to this kind of heat. It brings out the worst in people. They become aggressive and overwrought. We are urging people to keep their cool." - Sapa-DPA
Out of curiosity, do you wear a hairshirt too?
Well, OK then.... So it's not like it was unprovoked or anything.
This was my thought as well. I just didn't know Germans had barbeque worth killing over.
She now regrets yelling, "So prove it, Macho Man."
The Germans just feel the need to go rampaging around Europe every few decades. The normal patterns were interupted by the shellacing they got by us and the Ruskies back in '45, there' just returning to normal. It certainly doesn't take global warming, or much of anything else to set the Germans off.
In the case of the BBQ'd hausfrau, I suspect involvment of more than a bit of that which a German is likely to imbibe, just to cool off you understand.
Well you know that the majority of Americans, at least those of European ancestory, have a good share of German ancestory(most especally me, I'm at least 1/2 Kraut myself, my daughter has been approached twice by German nationals who started speaking German to her, but then switched to English when they discovered she wasn't German. She speaks Spanish, not German, but her husband speaks German, even though his ancestory is pure Polish from both the German dominated side and the Russian dominated side). But then we added some crazy Irishmen, and hot tempered Itallians into the mix. This may explain why, while you do well against other Europeans, we handed y'all your fundament twice in the last century. While we are historically slow to get anger, we are the ones not to F**** with. Hybrid vigor don't you know. :)
And no possibility of rug burns either. Watch out for splinters though. :)
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From The Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson, pp 515-517:
Proverbial ice was broken as one consequence of pig truck incident which occurred on four-lane highway, narrowed by construction to two, leading N from Manila. Casual obsvn. of Filipino swine suggests that their ludicrous, pink, tabloid-sized ears function as heat exchangers, as do, e.g., the tongues of dogs. They are transported in vehicles consisting of big cage constructed on bed of a straight (as opposed to semi-articulated) truck. Construction of such vehicles appears to tax local resources to the point where they are only economical when maximum conceivable number of swine are packed into confines at all times. Heat buildup ensues. Pigs adapt by fighting their way to perimeter of cage & hanging ear/heat exchangers out over the side to flap in the wind of the truck's motion.
The appearance of such a vehicle when approached from behind can be easily envisioned without further description. Readers who devote a few moments' consideration to the subject of excreta need not be pounded over the head vis-a-vis what flies, sprays, drips, etc. from such vehicles either. The Pig Truck Incident was a humorous demonstration of applied hydrodynamics, though since no actual water was involved perhaps “excretodynamics” or “scatodynamics” might better fit. THE GRACE OF GOD had been following a representative Pig Truck for some miles in the hopes of passing it. The sheer quantity of excess body heat radiating from its vast phased array of flapping pink ears caused several of our drinking-water bottles to achieve full rolling boil and explode. Bong-Bong Gad maintained a respectful distance because of excreta hazards, which in no way simplified the problem of passing the truck. Tension climbed to a palpable level &Bong-Bong was subjected to steadily increasing stream of good-natured heckling and unsolicited driving advice from passenger area, esp. from DMS who viewed lingering unwelcome presence of pig truck in our planned trajectory as personal affront & hence challenge to be overcome w/all due pluck, vigor, can-do spirit, & other qualities known to be possessed in abundance by DMS.
After some time Bong-Bong made his move, using one hand to manipulate steering wheel and other to time-share equally important responsibilities of shifting gears and depressing the horn button. As we drew alongside the Pig Truck (which was on my side of the jeepney) the Truck slalomed toward us as if perhaps swerving around some real or imagined roadside hazard. The primary horn of THE GRACE OF GOD was apparently going unheard, possibly because it was competing for audio bandwidth against large numbers of swine voicing their displeasure in same frequency range. With aplomb normally seen only among senescent English butlers, Bong-Bong reached up with his horn/gearshift hand and gripped a brilliant stainless-steel chain flailing from ceiling of cab with a stainless-steel crucifix on the end of it and jerked downwards, energizing the secondary, tertiary, and quaternary honking systems: a trio of tuba-sized stainless-steel horns mounted to the roof of THE GRACE OF GOD and collectively drawing so much power that our vehicle's speed dropped by (I would estimate) ten km/hr as its energies were diverted into decibel production. A demi-hyperbolic swath of agricultural crops twenty miles long was flattened to the ground by the blast, and, hundreds of miles north, the Taiwanese government, its collective ears still ringing, filed a diplomatic protest with the Philippine ambassador. Dead whales and dolphins washed ashore on the beaches of Luzon for days, and sonar operators in passing U.S. Navy submarines were sent into early retirement with blood streaming from their ears.
Terrified by this sound, all of the pigs (I would suppose) voided their bowels just as the driver of the Pig Truck swerved violently away from us. Certain first-year-physics conservation-of-momentum issues dictated that I be showered with former pig bowel contents in order to enhance shareholder value. This was evidently the funniest thing that the two Asian-looking gentlemen had ever seen, and rendered them helpless for several minutes. One of them actually retched from laughing too hard (the first time that our vehicle's lack of windows came in handy). The other extended his hand and introduced himself as one Jean Nguyen. or Penang.
garden allotment?
That would make me mad if my allotment was small compared to Olga's
German & Italian here (don't make me mad)
What I've never understood is why anyone would pay good money to go to a seaside resort and then spend the day by the pool when the sea was right there. Things that make you go "Hmmmm".
Me neither.
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